Rockstar Romance Boxed Set (12 Book Bundle New Adult BBW)

by Emme Rollins

  “What’s it called?”

  “Deep.”

  “I like it.”

  “Good. It’s your song, Becca. It’s everything you’ve done to me. I’m not afraid of anything anymore. I can do anything with you by my side. You make me my best self. And I want to be even better than that. Be a good man, the kind you deserve.”

  “Dex, you’re so much more than I deserve.” I got out of my chair and went over to his, climbing onto his lap. It was something I’d never have considered for a second a month ago, but now I did it without reservation. I just needed to be touching him.

  He grabbed my head and pulled me in for a kiss. It was sweet and deep, just like his song. My lips pressed against his with bruising pressure, and it still wasn’t enough.

  I moaned and shoved my hands up the front of his shirt, needing his bare skin. He grasped me tightly, and pushed his tongue into my mouth hungrily.

  My heart was pounding in my chest and I dug my nails into him, trying to communicate something I didn’t have words for. When I was a kid, my father once told me the thing about music is the magic in it. Makes everything bigger, more intense. Better and worse.

  I never really understood until that moment. I was falling in love, and losing control. And I’d never been so happy.

  Dex and I stayed there, kissing and groping for a long time. It was really uncomfortable in that chair, but I didn’t dare move away for even a second. I was drowning in his kiss and his touch. And it was perfect.

  That is, until the door behind us opened.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

  My eyes flew open and I looked over. Ryan was standing in the doorway.

  “Oh shit.” I hopped off of Dex, almost falling over in my haste. He steadied me, and left his hand on my waist.

  “I thought she was crazy,” Ryan said.

  “What? Who?”

  “She told me something was going on between you two. But I didn’t believe it. I thought you were smarter than that, Rebecca.”

  I refused to hang my head. “Look, I’m sorry. I know you didn’t want this to happen, but it has. But my relationship with Dex has no effect on my work.”

  “Like hell, it doesn’t.” He swiveled his head to look at Dex. “And you, what the hell? DO you have to stick your dick in every woman you come across?”

  “It’s not like that, man.”

  “Don’t tell me what it’s like. I don’t want to hear it. I know you, Dex. I’ve seen you. I know you can’t go five minutes without a drink or a screw, but taking advantage of my assistant is pretty low, even for you.”

  “Ryan,” I interrupted. “No one is being taken advantage of.”

  He shook his head. “Damn it. I hired you because I thought you were better than this. Getting blinded by his bullshit.”

  Dex stepped forward into the other man’s face. “Watch it.”

  “No, you watch it. How many times have I cleaned up your messes? How many times have I gone to bat for you with the other guys and the label?”

  I was confused. I knew Dex had a reputation as a hard partier, but I’d never heard anything this serious was going on. “Look, why don’t we all calm down and talk about this.”

  Ryan’s cold eyes turned back to me. “There’s nothing to talk about. Dex, go back out and sit with the others.”

  I saw the muscles in my lover’s back tighten, but he just cast a short, sad glance at me and then did as he was told.

  “Please, don’t be hard on him. He’s been going through a rough time.”

  Ryan held his hand up. “I don’t need you to tell me about my guys. I know them all a hundred times better than you ever will. And this is as much for you as the rest of us.”

  “What is?”

  “Me sending you back to the States on the next flight out. Buy a ticket on the business card. I’ll pay you for the rest of this leg of the tour, and call it even.”

  “Wait, what? You’re firing me?”

  “Yes.”

  “You can’t do that.”

  “I can, and I did. You can make a scene if you want, but the result will be the same. Save what little dignity you have left, and go graciously.”

  “But…”

  “But nothing. Your father would be ashamed. His smart daughter turned into a pathetic groupie for an alcoholic rock star. What a cliché.”

  I sobbed and covered my face with my hands. Any response I might make was drowned in anguish, but I forced it back. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Right, sure. Let me guess. You share something special. A real connection? Give me a break. He’ll feed any line he needs to in order to get what he wants. I told you before, they’re all children. Instead of sucking on a pacifier he uses a whiskey bottle. And instead of a security blanket, he uses whatever naïve girl falls for it.”

  “You’re wrong.” I shoved past him and out to the lounge, not caring that my face was red and tears dripped from my eyes.

  Ryan followed me, his stomping feet echoing in the room.

  Everyone went silent when we appeared. Dex was sitting next to Matthew. He didn’t even look at me.

  I cast a miserable glance around the room. Liss looked ill, sitting with Joe’s arm around her. Mia was curled up in the corner, smirking. None of the others would even turn my way.

  “See?” Ryan spat over my shoulder. “There’s nothing here for you anymore, Rebecca. It’s time to go.”

  I looked around one more time, and then hung my head. I picked up my purse and carry-on, and walked out of the lounge, wiping at my cheeks. The whole time it took to walk back to an information desk, I was waiting for something to happen. For Dex to run up and beg me not to go. To tell me he wouldn’t let me go.

  But he didn’t come. And he had let me go. All those words and the song was just that, words. When it came to actually fighting for me, being on my side, he was nowhere to be found. Just the flaky, attention-hungry musician I’d feared he was from the beginning. And I was what Ryan thought. The naïve girl who fell for it.

  It was time to go home.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I stood in the line, wiping at my eyes and trying to pretend I was invisible. Even in the mad crush of people, some were staring at me. It could have been the red-faced weeping. Or the trembling. Whatever it was that caught their attention, the looks of pity were excruciating.

  I was feeling a strange combination of agony and numbness. Like my heart was broken, but it hurt too much to actually feel it. It was all too terrible to be real, but I couldn’t even soothe myself with thoughts that it was a nightmare. That I hadn’t lost everything that mattered in a moment of stupidity.

  Before, when Dex and I were alone in that room, he sang to me and I felt like the world was full of possibilities. That I could be anything, do anything. The connection between us was strong, and growing every minute. I was reveling in the wildness he brought out in me. I thought our reckless behavior was sexy, a sign of how much we meant to each other.

  Now, nose running and eyes starting to swell shut from crying, I’d never been so humiliated or felt so stupid. And the worst part was I had no one but myself to blame.

  From the first second I saw Dex, I knew who he was. Every broken man-child I’d seen coming through my father’s life and studio growing up. Beautiful and enchanting. But deadly to the hearts of girls like me. Regular girls who could be drawn in, seduced by a spark of something special. He’d dragged me closer physically and emotionally until I was bared completely, defenseless, and giddy with the romance of it all. And then, the first time it mattered, the moment I needed him, he was gone.

  I’d supported him, defended him, and helped him deal with his father’s illness, and what had I gotten in return? Beautiful, empty words to a song.

  The sight of my boss, Ryan, catching us kissing flashed behind my eyes every time I closed them to shut out the world. He’d warned me, too. That Dex wouldn’t be on my side. That he wasn’t worth risking
a job I loved. A future in the music business that was in my blood.

  But did I listen? No. I knew better. No one else was with us when we were alone. No one understood the bond between us. How I understood Dex. How he cared for me.

  What a joke. In the back of my mind, I’d considered what might happen if we were found out. I imagined some dramatic confrontation. Dex and Ryan nose-to-nose. My boss seething, but resigned. And my lover – my first, my only lover – ferocious and protective.

  But instead he’d slunk away and went back to the rest of the band. Back to the people he really cared about. And I was left alone.

  “Miss, can I help you?”

  I shook my head to clear it a little and looked up at the woman speaking to me. “What?”

  “What can I do for you?”

  “I-I need a new plane ticket. To America.”

  She peered at me over wire-rimmed glasses for a long moment, and then nodded. “There are not many options, I’m afraid. We have a number of cancellations and delays.”

  “Yeah, I know. The storm. I’ll take whatever you’ve got. The first thing. I don’t care where it lands.”

  “All right. May I have your ticket, please?”

  I shoved it at her and sighed. As my head dipped, my hair fell in my face. With a snarl of anger, I yanked at it. Gathering the long blond locks at the nape of my neck, I twisted it hard into a bun. It was a motion that usually calmed me, but now it just infuriated me. I’d let my hair down, literally and figuratively, and now I was ruined. Going back to the States alone with nothing but shattered dreams. And, I realized, nowhere to live. My apartment in Los Angeles had been sublet, and my stuff was all in storage. So much for this great adventure.

  “Miss, I am very sorry, but I don’t think I can book you on anything until tomorrow.”

  I fought back the urge to snap at her. She was just doing her job, trying to help me. “Oh. Well, okay.”

  “If it helps, there are reports of tornado sightings nearby. I don’t think any flights are leaving the country anytime soon.” Rain beat against the windows, hiding the darkening sky from view.

  “That’s all right. Thanks for trying.”

  “Of course. Give me one moment to print out your new ticket.”

  “Thank you.” The manners were automatic. Thankful was the last thing I felt. I needed to be in the air. Heading far away from Glasgow, Dex, and everything. But instead I’d be stuck in the airport with hundreds of other people, trying to get away. I wondered if any of them were as miserable as me.

  After getting my new ticket, I trudged away from the desk, elbowing my way through crowds. What had recently been angry, stranded travelers had taken a turn. People seemed to have accepted their fate, and decided to make the best of it. I passed by groups sitting everywhere, drinking, eating, chatting, having a good time. I hated them all.

  Finally, I managed to find a relatively quiet spot in a corner. I was debating whether or not to collapse in a heap on the floor when I noticed the crowd parting, and a buzz of excitement running through the open space.

  “Please, no,” I whispered to myself. “Let this be anyone else.”

  It was possible. There could be a movie star or some famous athlete in the airport too. The fuss didn’t have to be for one of the members of Dream Defiled. The band I’d come to Europe to tour with. The job I’d left my whole life behind for, pointlessly.

  But, of course, this was my life and my luck. And with a blotchy, red face and miserable expression full of dread, my gaze locked onto his.

  Dex Winters, the band’s bassist, was striding over to me. And as much as I loathed him, I couldn’t deny how gorgeous he was. Tall and broad-shouldered with chiseled features and over-long, messy black hair, he was sex on legs, and I was speaking from experience. His mouth was set in a hard line, but I remembered the way his lips curled, the way they parted to kiss me everywhere.

  I stood up straight, and held out a hand to stop him from getting too close. “Don’t.”

  “Where the fuck have you been? Do you have the slightest idea how bloody long I’ve been looking for you?” The anger in his voice heightened his British accent, something I’d once found charming and funny. “Liss is weeping, Joe will have probably bribed every guard in this building by now. I can’t believe you’ve run off like that.”

  “Fuck off, Dex.”

  He gaped at me for a second, and it seemed everyone in the vicinity shared his surprise. Which made sense. It wasn’t often a snotty, red-faced chubby girl told a notoriously sexy rock star to fuck off.

  But while I was still reeling from the fact I’d said it out loud, Dex laughed. A full-throated, belly-shaking fit of hilarity. The bastard actually put his hand on my shoulder to steady himself as he tried, and failed, to contain his laughter.

  I slapped at the hand, and glared at him. “What are you doing?”

  He gasped a few times and bent over, hands on his knees. “Christ, woman. You’re full of surprises. Here I come to save the day, and you’re telling me off? Fucking brilliant.”

  My head was throbbing, and I was not in the mood. “What in the world are you talking about? Why are you even here?”

  Dex straightened up and looked down at me, his face settling into a serious expression. “I’m here because I don’t trust this prat to do what he agreed to.”

  “Huh?”

  He turned around and waved someone over. I was too short to see over his shoulder, so I looked under his arm, and groaned.

  “Dex, please. Ryan is the last person – second to last person – I want to see right now.”

  “Trust me, love, you want to hear what he has to say this time.”

  My former boss stomped over, frowning.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  Ryan’s frown deepened before he spoke. “Ask your boyfriend here.”

  I looked over at Dex, who was smiling. “Someone just tell me what the hell is happening so I can get away from you people once and for all. I swear…”

  “Becca, wait. Just let Ryan say what he’s got to.”

  The older man shrugged. “This is a mistake.”

  The smile faded from Dex’s face. “Do it. Right now. I won’t tell you again.”

  My eyes widened. I’d never heard him talk to Ryan like that.

  “Fine, fine.” Ryan cleared his throat. “Rebecca, on further consideration, I believe I may have acted rashly. And I am willing to consider allowing you to continue your work, with a few conditions.”

  “Huh?” I looked around for someone to make sense of this.

  Dex stepped next to me and slung his arm over my shoulder. “He’s trying to beg you to come back, in his own pathetic ‘not what we discussed’ way.”

  “Come back? To work? You mean I’m not fired?”

  Ryan rolled his eyes. “Well, we’ll have to discuss terms, of course. I think a probationary period is very generous, but…yes. I mean you’re not fired. Yet.”

  I looked up at Dex, baffled. “What? How?”

  He pulled me tight against his body, and squeezed me. “Ryan, why don’t you tell her how this happened.”

  The band’s tour manager glowered at both of us. “Dex and the rest of the band threatened to quit. Swore they’d never play another show until I took you back on.”

  “They what?”

  Dex grinned, and tilted my chin up so I was looking at him. “Did you think for one second that I would let you go? Let him take you away from me? Because of me?”

  A tear slid over my cheek. “I…I guess I did think that.”

  “You’re my girl, Becca. I would never.”

  A sob bubbled up from my throat, but Dex’s mouth crashed down on mine, swallowing it. A fresh reserve of tears I’d thought long since shed burst from my eyes as we kissed. My hands fisted in his shirt, holding on for everything. And as applause broke out around us, I was embarrassed and exhilarated and shocked and amazed, but I didn’t stop kissing him. To think, minutes ago I’d thought I’
d never again feel that mouth against mine. Never fit the wide spread of my hips against his narrow ones.

  “Would you stop that, you’re making a scene,” Ryan hissed.

  Dex barely broke away far enough to reply, “Fuck off.”

  I giggled, brain completely overloaded. Tucking my head under Dex’s chin, I turned to look at Ryan. He was annoyed, but not furious. “Everyone stood up for me?”

  From above me, Dex replied. “Well, almost everyone. Rick threw a tantrum and stormed off.” He grabbed my arms and pulled me away so we could look each other in the eye. “The rest were there for you. Are here for you.”

  Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I whispered, “Why?”

  “For the smartest girl I know, you’re a right idiot sometimes, Becca. They did it because they like you. And respect you. They know how much you’ve done for all of us. And…because of me. They know I need you.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say yes. Say you’ll come back. Stay with me.”

  I licked my dry lips, and nodded. “Yes.”

  Dex wrapped his arms around me and hugged me so tight I couldn’t breathe. He lifted me off my feet for a few seconds and planted a deep, soulful kiss on me. I could hear the click of cameras snapping photos all around us, but I didn’t care anymore. Where once I would have been mortified, I was delighted. He’d done it. Showed me that what I felt was real and true. That we were in this together. It was terrifying and wonderful.

  Chapter Eighteen

  My good mood somehow managed to hold out through the exhaustion caused by the rest of that long day. We spent another six hours at the airport, waiting for storms to clear and backed-up planes to depart. By the time we landed in Paris, it was the middle of the night. The band had, of course, missed the charity gig they were supposed to play, which was a shame, but I was secretly glad. Instead of having to be in public, we were able to go right to the hotel when we landed, and I could be alone with Dex.

  We rode the elevator with everyone else, and I was giddy with the realization that we could go to his room without worrying about being spotted. I didn’t plan to throw our relationship in everyone’s face, but I wasn’t going to hide it anymore. And as long as I did my job, Ryan would let me stay.