by Emme Rollins
Jess shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. You tell me.”
The man laughed for a few seconds.
“Are you published?” he asked.
“Yes,” Jess said. “I have a publisher. I’m not famous but I’ve had to sign a couple autographs.”
“Sign a couple autographs,” the man smiled wide. He sipped his coffee.
“You play shows?” Jess asked.
“I guess you could say that.”
“Are you in a band?”
“Yeah. I’m in a band. I’m the singer. Go figure.”
Jess couldn’t believe how turned on she felt. She fought the images coming to her, but she pictured the man standing on a stage, playing guitar, singing. Sweating. Staring at Jess in a crowd. Controlling her with his eyes.
She had to look away for a second.
“So, let me ask you something,” the man said.
“Sure.”
“You have no idea who I am?”
“Why? Am I supposed to?”
“Nope,” the man said. “By the way, my name is Johnnie.”
“I’m Jess.”
“Jess,” Johnnie whispered.
Jess watched as Johnnie stared at her. Like he was studying her, trying to find out if she was hiding something. She didn’t mind him staring at her, not at all. It was very hot...
“Thanks for helping me with the coffee,” Johnnie said.
“Thanks for buying me a coffee.”
“Heard you on the phone with your... boyfriend?”
Jess smiled. If Johnnie had been listening, he knew it wasn’t a boyfriend. What a cheap way to find out if she had a boyfriend. But Jess respected it.
“Nope, not my boyfriend. My friend, Marie.”
“Everything okay?”
Jess finally took a drink of her coffee.
Just who in the hell was this guy? How did he have so much confidence?
“With my friend? I guess so.”
“Doesn’t sound good.”
“Her grandmother had a stroke last week.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Me too. And the guy she has been seeing ditched her after she bought tickets to a concert tonight.”
“Concert, huh?” Johnnie smiled big. “Who’s playing?”
“I don’t know,” Jess said. “But she wants me to go.”
“Why not go?”
Jess pointed to her bag on the floor. “Have work to do. Just because I’m a writer doesn’t mean I make my own schedule. I have a book due sooner than later.”
“And I’m wasting all your precious time right now, aren’t I?”
“You said it, not me.”
Jess sipped her coffee, feeling more alive in the past two minutes than she had in the past two days. She couldn’t believe she was flirting with a stranger like this. A handsome stranger, for the record, but still, a stranger. Of course, Jess chalked it all up to research. The flirty banter between hot guy and pretty girl, something she could remember for her next book.
“You don’t have to sit here anymore,” Johnnie said.
“Am I bothering you?”
“Not quite yet. Give it another minute... nope, wait... yeah, now you’re bothering me.”
“What does that...”
Johnnie pointed.
Jess turned and saw a short, round man hustling towards the café. His red tie shot up and over his shoulder. Mostly bald with a big face, the man stared down at a cell phone, his fingers tapping at the screen.
“That’s my manager,” Johnnie said. “Band meeting stuff.”
“Well, then I guess I’ll be going,” Jess said.
She reached for her bag, slowly, not really wanting to end the conversation with Johnnie. She stood and hesitated for a few seconds.
“If I can offer some advice,” Johnnie said. “Not that I want to barge into your life...”
“Advice? Sure.”
“I’d go to the concert tonight.”
“I don’t know who the band is. And my friend can get into some crazy music.”
“Or maybe it’ll be the greatest band you’ve ever seen,” Johnnie said with that smile on his face.
“Maybe.”
“Sometimes it’s fun to take a chance, isn’t it?”
“Johnnie, are you...”
The other voice was the robust man, standing a few feet away, pointing his cell phone at Jess.
“No, it’s fine,” Johnnie said. “Jess was actually leaving to go write the next bestseller.”
“Bestseller? Not sure about that...”
“Autograph me a copy when it’s done,” Johnnie said.
“And how will I find you?” Jess teased.
“Good point. Enjoy your concert tonight.”
“Maybe,” Jess said.
She had the urge to touch Johnnie. Not sexually, but, yeah, maybe sexually... She pictured herself hugging him, asking more about him. He was mysterious but in such a sexy way. After nodding to the man Johnnie said was his manager, she made her way across the café and looked around. Most of the tables were filled now and Jess didn’t want to try to type elbow to elbow with other people.
She sighed and decided to go back home.
The morning wasn’t a complete failure though. It wasn’t every day she got to meet such a hot guy.
(4)
“You’re lucky she didn’t announce you to the rest of this place,” Peter said, reaching into a briefcase.
“She had no idea who I was,” Johnnie said.
“Wow. There’s something new. Why don’t you put sunglasses on or something? People are going to notice soon.”
“I’m not doing that. The bigger the disguise, the more attention I’ll get. Let it be, Peter.”
“Okay, great.” He spread papers across the table and started to talk.
Johnnie wasn’t listening. He looked around the café, trying to find Jess. When that failed him, he searched the outside. There weren’t a lot of people walking about and of the few that were there, Jess wasn’t one of them.
He instantly started to feel regret.
Time had given him women but had taken away his want to pick up a woman. A relationship to him started at a concert, on a tour bus, or backstage. There were a few times when an actress or model would have their agent call Peter, but none of it was as raw as what just happened with Jess. When he saw her standing in line, something happened. Her curly hair that looked really good messy, her bright blue eyes, her figure. Everything about her screamed casual until he got close enough to smell her. Not that Johnnie was some creep smelling women, there was just something about Jess that enticed him.
And yet he did nothing.
He did not say who he really was. That was out of fear of Jess becoming either starstruck or simply not believing him.
He could have given her his number, or better yet, asked for hers.
The longest relationship he had was five years ago. Anna wasn’t the perfect woman, at least at the end of the relationship, and it bothered him that her claw marks still remained a little in his heart.
“Johnnie, are you listening to me?”
Johnnie blinked and looked at Peter. A line of sweat glazed across his forehead and his eyes were bug like.
“No, I’m not.”
“We have to settle on this,” Peter said. “I really think the charity show is going to build you up once you make your decision on the new song...”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Johnnie snapped.
“About what? The show? The song? Your career?”
“Look. Tonight’s the last show of this leg. Okay? Can’t we just take a break, clear our minds?”
“No. There’s money behind this. I’ve had a couple bites from networks too.”
“Networks?”
“Television. They’re interested in seeing Johnnie, the man behind the band. You on your own, singing on your own, just being Johnnie.”
“No. No way. I’m Johnnie from Chasing Cross.
”
“We both know this break in the touring is getting old. People are filling seats and we can fill more if we had more shows.”
“Are you unhappy with your compensation, Peter?” Johnnie offered a wicked smile as he sipped his coffee.
Peter ran a napkin over his bald head and swallowed hard. “Don’t be a prick to me, okay Johnnie? We both know the writing is on the wall. The label is changing. They want you, Johnnie, and just you. If you go into the studio again with the band, they’re going to mix them out of it.”
“Then I won’t record.”
“Then you’ll lose your contract.”
“Then I’ll lose my contract,” Johnnie said.
“Just like that,” Peter said. “It’s that easy for you?”
“No. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to understand why it’s not easy for me.”
Peter opened his mouth and then shook his head. He growled and slapped the papers in front of him.
“This is your future. A chance beyond the band. You’re telling me that everyone is committed all the way?”
“Are you turning your back on us? After all these years?”
“Never,” Peter said. “I’m looking out for the best interest of everyone. I don’t want the band to burn out on tour. And I don’t want you to be held back. You’re telling me that I’m supposed to forget about the acoustic demo you played for me at your cabin?”
Johnnie looked away. He knew he was going to regret playing those songs for Peter.
“That’s how I write,” Johnnie said. “I record acoustic and then take it to the band.”
“But this song...”
“It’s not done,” Johnnie said. “Leave it at that. When it’s done, we’ll talk.”
“Johnnie, Danny broke a television. A call came in because Rick was puking so much.”
“We all drank,” Johnnie said.
“I know. It’s the life, right?” Peter put his hands up. “Fine. I’ll drop it. Let’s talk about the charity show.”
Peter started to ramble again and Johnnie faded out. Of course Peter was right. The other guys lived their own private ways. The brotherhood ran deep but not without demons. Hell, Johnnie wasn’t perfect either. The only difference was that he was the front man of the band. For whatever reason that made him different. He was supposed to be the leader. The wise one. The one who listened and took care of everything.
But even then, sitting in the café with Peter, thinking about the contract for a solo project, thinking about Rick’s drinking, thinking about the show tonight and how he wanted to change the set list, one thing kept popping into his mind.
Jess.
Why didn’t he ask for her number? Why didn’t he tell her he was playing the concert she was probably going to tonight?
Johnnie sighed, leaving it all in the hands of fate, something he wasn’t used to and something he didn’t like very much.
(5)
Marie showed up an hour early and when Jess opened the door, Marie stood there, swaying her hips and hair as though a song was playing. Jess was sure a song played in Marie’s head and she hurried to usher her into the apartment before any of the neighbors saw.
“Excited?” Jess asked.
“You have no freaking idea,” Marie said. “I’ve been dying to see these guys for two years. They tour so weird.”
“How so?”
“They’ll have a huge tour but do it in chunks. Tour for a month, then take a month off. And you just have to wait and wait and wait... oh, and tonight is their last show before a break.”
“Is that good?”
“I hope so. Maybe they’ll do something special.”
“How much do I owe you for the ticket?”
“Nothing. My treat.”
“Marie...”
“You’re helping me out,” Marie said. She took Jess by the wrist and forced her to stop. “Seriously. I need tonight.”
“Well... what happened with Ted?”
“He’s a guy. Whatever.”
“You didn’t tell him you loved him, did you?”
“No.” Marie rolled her eyes. “I don’t think so.”
“I’m serious,” Jess said. “You freak guys out when you do that.”
“I don’t mean it like love love, you know?”
“I know what you mean. But when a guy hears I love you on the third date...”
“Blah, blah,” Marie said. “I don’t know if I like Ted. He’s not very good in bed. I asked him about it and he said he was nervous.”
“You told him he wasn’t good in bed?”
“No... I asked him, ‘Is that how it always is?’ and he told me he was nervous.”
“Marie, I do love you,” Jess said. “You’re freaking wild sometimes.”
“No. I’m honest. I don’t settle. And I’m really excited for tonight.”
“I’m excited too,” Jess said. “But I have to ask... is this a normal band?”
“Define normal?”
“The last band we saw, the lead singer threw paint balloons into the crowd...”
“Oh, yeah. No, these guys are normal. You’ve heard of them before. I know it. They’ve been around for a while too. It’s Chasing Cross.”
“Chasing Cross...” Jess knew the name.
Marie handed Jess her ticket and Jess rubbed her finger on it. She felt a little weird taking the ticket.
Chasing Cross.
“Chasing Cross,” Jess repeated.
“Here, check it out,” Marie said.
She handed Jess her cell phone as it started to play a song.
“This is their most popular song,” Marie said. “It’s called “Chasing”, as ironic as that is.”
“Oh, I know this song,” Jess said.
It was a good song. Catchy, lots of guitar, a good drumbeat, actually something Jess could get into and wouldn’t mind seeing live. When the intro ended and the singing began, Jess felt her heart starting to race.
“Yeah, I really like this,” Jess said.
“Good. Now get ready, I want to leave soon. Maybe we can meet the band.”
“Meet the band?”
“Sure. If we get there early enough. Maybe we can see their tour bus or something. That would be so cool.”
Jess watched as her friend slowly turned into a teenager girl, wide eyed, excited, full of hope.
“Okay, let me get ready then.”
“Hurry.”
Jess turned and then stopped. She reached behind and snagged Marie’s phone out of her hand.
“What are you doing? I’m not going to text Ted...”
“I don’t care about Ted,” Jess said. “I want to hear more of Chasing Cross.”
“Good girl.”
Jess strutted away as the next song started. A slow, ballad type but what made Jess freeze as she stepped into her bedroom was the voice. That same voice again. That singer. The depth of his voice, the raw sound of it... it sounded just like...
(6)
“Johnnie! You ready, bro?”
Johnnie took a breath and turned to see his brother, Danny, standing behind him. Danny already had his guitar slung around his neck, ready to go. That was Danny’s pre-show routine. He’d wear his guitar for an hour, strum random chords and notes, play riffs, play Chasing Cross songs, play other songs. Whatever came to him.
Five minutes before show time, he would hand the guitar off to the tech who could then hurry and tune it back to perfection and have it waiting for Danny on stage.
“Let’s go,” Johnnie said.
“Wild crowd out there tonight,” Rick said. He twirled his drumsticks and then started playing on the leather couch backstage.
“Fuck, I love this feeling,” Chris said. “It’s like a drug high.”
Chris’s eyes went wild for a second.
Johnnie tensed and eyed the bassist. A long time ago, back in the days of their youth, Chris had himself a drug problem. He hid it for a long time until he almost died on stage one night
in Seattle. It brought Chasing Chase into headline news, being called a useless drug band. Half their tour was cancelled as Chris went through rehab and when he came out, the first thing the band did was go into the studio and write what would be their bestselling album yet.
Johnnie did indulge with Chris a few times, but never let it become a habit and never thought Chris would let it become a habit either.
“Let it be your only high,” Davey said as he ran his fingers through his black hair. Davey was the biggest guy in the band, often confused for one of the security guys instead of a band member.
“Come on,” Chris said and shook his head.
“We’re all good,” Johnnie finally said. “A little capper before the show and nothing else, right?”
Johnnie purposely looked at all the band members but focused on Rick. He didn’t have a shit eating grin on his face so Johnnie took it at face value.
Peter appeared in the doorway, his eyes down at his phone. The man sweated all the time. From the moment he met with the band until now, all he did was sweat.
“Guys, they’re starting the intro in ten seconds.”
Peter left and the entire room changed.
The anticipation kicked in instantly. The high that Chris talked about hit everyone. Johnnie looked at his band mates, everyone in silence. The intro music kicked in, the heavy thuds of drums, the crawling feedback of guitars, the muffled voice of Johnnie. The pre-recorded track got everyone into the show.
Johnnie closed his eyes and prepared.
He was ready.
The last show for a month, with the exception of the charity show. But that would be laid back and relaxed. More of a jam session than anything else.
Johnnie focused and prepared. He opened his eyes and tilted his head down. He curled his lip into the devilish grin that made any woman ache for him and any man wish they were as cool as fucking Johnnie from Chasing Cross.
“Let’s go,” he said.
He led the way out of the room, hearing the sound of the band preparing too. Davey and Chris always slapped fives. Danny and Rick went arm in arm, talking about one of their earliest shows.
Johnnie took the hall and saw the entrance to the stage.
This was it.
The intro continued and the crowd roared. From the small opening to the stage, he could see the lights moving and flashing and changing colors.