by Emme Rollins
This was what it was all about.
Music.
Life.
Soul.
Rock n’ roll.
Johnnie touched his chest. His heart raced like nothing he ever experienced before. The closest it had come to this in years was at the café earlier that morning.
With that woman...
With...
(7)
“JESS! Can you feel it?!”
Jess stood next to Marie and yes, she could feel it.
The radio had been playing for the past ten minutes while the stage was prepared for Chasing Cross.
Then everything changed.
The lights went out and the room exploded. Jess reached for Marie and found her hand. She held it tight and Marie started to shake. She was already screaming, her voice piercing Jess’s ears, making her squeeze her eyes shut.
A single white light came on, over the microphone.
It was empty, for now.
A track started to play.
The drums came through the speakers like synchronized thunder. Then came the bass, the low rumbling of perfection only to be offset by the sound of guitars.
And finally... the voice.
The voice.
In the mostly dark crowd, hearing the voice through all the speakers like this, it drove Jess mad. She couldn’t believe how her body reacted at that moment. Her heart pounded. Her body tingled. Her most sensitive areas suddenly felt good.
The music continued and the room built by the second. The suspense should have been annoying, but the longer this went, the more Jess liked it. It was... rock n’ roll foreplay. The buildup to something so huge, so perfect. It felt as though it were dripping with a sexual desire.
“THERE THEY ARE!” Marie cried out as she jumped.
Silhouettes came to the stage, each one taking their spot. Lights moved across the stage, too dim to show any real features of the band members. Jess could see two guitarists, a bassist, a drummer, and...
“THERE HE IS!” Marie screamed. “HE’S SO HOT!”
“WHAT’S HIS NAME?” Jess cried back.
The lead singer walked to the microphone and he put his hands out. The track came to its heavy climax and then it all started. In the momentary second of silence and darkness, Jess heard Marie scream the lead singer’s name...
Johnnie.
The lights came to the stage as the first song started.
Now it was Jess’s turn to squeeze Marie’s hand. More than that, she leaned into her friend as her legs started to grow weak.
It was... him.
The guy from the café.
Johnnie.
The gorgeous lead singer of Chasing Cross.
It took all of the first two songs for Jess to gather herself. When the second song ended, the band paused, allowing the crowd to properly greet them. Johnnie then took to the mic. He put his mouth to it as though he was going to speak but then pulled back and just smiled.
Even at the distance, his smile did something to Jess.
She could see his dimples and now add to that the band, the music, and aura of the room, he was deadly sexy. Perhaps the sexiest man she’d ever seen in her life.
But that didn’t mean he’d remember her, right?
Hell, he’d have to find her in the crowd first.
“How’s everyone feeling tonight?” Johnnie asked.
The crowd erupted and Marie jumped, screaming Johnnie’s name. Even when the crowd calmed a little, Marie didn’t.
Johnnie then looked right in their direction.
“Someone’s happy to see me,” he said. “Someone...”
Johnnie met eyes with Jess.
She knew it.
She could feel the connection, just like in the café earlier.
“Someone is certainly here,” Johnnie said. “And so are all of you!”
The crowd cheered again and Johnnie turned his head, waiting for the count.
Drumsticks came together four times and the next song started. Johnnie stared at Jess for a few seconds, smiling the entire time, and then he lost himself in the song. It was one of the songs Jess knew, one of their hits on the radio. She knew the music and some of the chorus. Of course, Marie knew every single word. She cheered and sang, so loud that it almost took away from Johnnie’s amazing voice.
Song after song, Johnnie sang, getting more into each song, leading the crowd through a musical journey and experience. Jess felt it, and she felt something beyond that. Watching the way Johnnie moved and how he kept looking towards Jess left her feeling insatiable. She felt wanted by him. Whether it was just an act or not, she didn’t know, but she sure as hell enjoyed it while it happened.
During the latest guitar solo, Johnnie put his mic to the guitar, amplifying his skills. When the song came to an end he let out a long sound, then looked around to his band.
“These guys are fucking wild!” he yelled.
The guitarist played a riff and the drummer followed with a few kicks of his kick drum and crashes from his cymbals.
“But it’s not always about being wild,” Johnnie said. “No, no. There’s more to it all. There’s soul beneath it all. I’m talking... rock n’ roll soul.”
The crowd applauded and Johnnie nodded. He licked his lips and smiled. He stepped away from the mic for a few seconds, searching for something. The rest of the band looked around, confused, and then watched as the front man came back to the mic holding an acoustic guitar.
“This isn’t on the set list tonight,” Johnnie said. “But sometimes, there are things in life that just happen. Without warning. Without purpose. And those moments... they can change us forever... And those moments... they’re the ones I’m...”
Johnnie strummed the guitar, playing the intro to the next song. The crowd cheers and Jess looked at Marie.
She knew this song.
“... Chasing...”
The song was slow and soothing, and the entire time Johnnie played and sang the stripped down acoustic only version of the song, he stared at Jess.
Marie leaned into Jess and said, “I think he’s looking at us!” in her girly voice. Jess glanced at Marie and saw her friend staring at Johnnie with that glazed look of young lust. She hoped Marie didn’t Johnnie was looking at her.
Then again, what did Jess know?
Was Johnnie actually looking at her?
What amazed Jess more than watching Johnnie sing was how the band reacted to the sudden change in the set list. The bassist came in gently, following Johnnie’s lead. The two guitarists switched to clean channels, taking away the crunch sound of the guitars. And the drummer played softly, a basic kick-snare beat that worked perfectly together.
It was a different version of “Chasing”, one that Jess wished she could have to hear all the time. Then a thought and image came to her... if Johnnie was singing to her, what did it really mean? She pictured herself with Johnnie as he sat with an acoustic guitar playing “Chasing”, playing it for her, to her, singing, the moment becoming too intense...
Marie screamed and Jess jumped.
The song had come to its close, leaving the stage in pitch black. A few seconds later, lights came down to the two guitarists. They were at opposite ends of the stage and they played in unison, leading into the next set of songs.
The show could have lasted for hours and when Johnnie announced it was the last song, Jess had a sudden feeling of being let down. She didn’t want it to end. She almost felt like she was on a date with Johnnie... a date with another few thousand people surrounding her. Nothing strange about that.
As the song played, Jess’s body moved. The music had gotten into her, in a way music had never done before. She’d been to plenty of concerts, not as many as Marie, but this was by far the greatest concert of her life.
Just when she thought it couldn’t get any better, a hand touched her shoulder, bringing the night to a sudden end. When she looked to her right and saw a tall, thick man in a black t-shirt, looking angry, she lowered her
shoulder and thrashed. She reached for Marie but the man was too strong.
“Hey, cool it,” he bellowed at Jess.
“What the fu...”
“Leave her alone!” Marie cried out.
The man bent towards Jess. “I’m with Johnnie. I’m security. Damn, will you calm down?”
“What’s wrong?” Jess asked. “I didn’t do anything...”
“I know that. Johnnie told me to bring you backstage.”
Jess’s eyes went wide and she looked at Marie. Marie’s jaw could be swept off the floor.
“My friend, Marie...”
“She can come too,” the security guard said. “But she can’t go into his room. His rules, not mine.”
Marie pushed at Jess as Jess stared at Marie.
“Come on, we have to get going. Right now.”
The security guard led the way to the black gate and they walked along it, the large man acting as a battering ram, pushing his way through the crowd. Jess stayed an inch away from the man, catching the scent of his body odor. Behind her, Marie held Jess’s wrist.
Jess stared at the stage, watching Johnnie and Chasing Cross perform. She felt disconnected from the world in those passing moments, following the security guard as he walked beyond the gate, taking Jess and Marie with him.
They walked along the stage and towards a back room door. Once in there, there was a hallway leading to all the different dressing rooms and storage closets.
The security guard moved with thunderous footsteps.
Marie hurried and walked next to Jess.
“I’ve never done this before,” Marie whispered.
“What? Backstage?” Jess asked.
“Yes. I’ve snuck out back at shows and waited for bands, but this... you’re going to meet Johnnie from Chasing Cross.”
Jess smiled. “Not the first time.”
“Wait, what?”
The security guard stopped and pointed to a door. “That’s Johnnie’s room.” He pointed to Jess. “You go in. And you...” He pointed to Marie. “You follow me. We’re going to a general area. You can watch the band leave to go to their bus.”
“No,” Jess said. “Marie, that’s not safe.”
“I get to meet Chasing Cross,” she said. “And you get... how do you know Johnnie?”
“The café today,” Jess said. “When I got off the phone with you. He was behind me in line. I sat with him and we talked. I swear, I had no idea who he was.”
“I hate you,” Marie said.
She turned and looked at the security guard. “Do you have a name?”
“Does that matter?” the guard asked, folding his arms.
“Just trying to be friendly.”
“I don’t do friendly.” His eyes moved to Jess. “Go inside and wait.” His eyes moved back to Marie. “You follow me.”
With that said, everyone moved. Jess watched Marie start to walk away and she hated it. It didn’t seem right or fair, but Marie was happy enough just to be there, just to experience something she thought was amazing.
The real amazing part was as Jess opened the door to Johnnie’s dressing room. She stepped inside and thought she could smell him. Subtle hints of their conversation at the café. She took small steps, too afraid to touch or do a thing. She finally settled on a small leather couch and did the only thing possible.
She waited.
The sound of the music came through the walls at a dull roar. The muffled version of the music was nothing compared to the live version, but even still, Jess found herself nodding her head, enjoying the music.
When it came to a stop, she realized that was it.
The last song.
Johnnie screamed his thanks to the crowd and that was it.
The crowd cheered and began to chant for the band.
Chasing Cross... Chasing Cross... Chasing Cross... Chasing Cross...
The chants continued with no signs of slowing down. Jess’s heart pounded in her chest, unsure what to expect next. She watched the door, waiting for Johnnie to open the door. But the crowd... the chants...
Jess started to stand from the couch when she heard the crowd explode even louder.
No way, she thought.
She never heard such a loud response before. The sound was loud through the walls and hall so she could only imagine how it must have sounded out in the crowd. Right there in person.
“Well then,” Johnnie’s voice cried out.
Jess gasped.
Chasing Cross wasn’t done.
“You want more music?” he asked.
Of course the crowd did. This was their time. Their moment too. It wasn’t about the money paid for the show. It was about the music and what it meant and what it did.
“Okay!” Johnnie yelled. “Let’s do it...”
The music started a couple seconds later, and lead into a four song encore that could have been its own show. The band was tight, fast, and sounded like they just took the stage. They sounded nothing like a band that had just played for almost two hours.
It left Jess mesmerized.
It also left her a little jealous.
If Johnnie hadn’t been playing this encore part of the show, he’d be backstage with Jess. She would finally be able to put to rest the wild butterfly feeling in her stomach. She had no idea why Johnnie wanted her in his room.
Maybe to thank her for coming to the show.
Maybe to autograph her ticket.
Maybe... more.
When the music stopped for the second time, it was the final time. The band ended by playing the last chorus of the last song five times and sealed the show with one last note that rang against the cheers of the crowd.
Feedback started to cut in and the plug was pulled.
The show was over, at least for the people in the crowd.
Jess put a hand to her chest, feeling her heart. Her body tensed and she focused on the door, hoping to keep her breathing calm.
She told herself that maybe the show for her was just getting started.
(8)
Johnnie hurried into the back hallway and ran his hands through his hair. Peter met him with a fresh bottle of water and a pat on the back.
“Hell of an encore there,” Peter said. He looked around and then pulled Johnnie close. “I loved the acoustic decision there. You had them eating out of your hand. That’s what acoustic does. It’s intimate. Perfect. Like I said...”
“Enough,” Johnnie said and slipped away.
“Hey! Johnnie!” Chris yelled.
Johnnie stopped and turned. The rest of the band came down the hall, slow and confident. He could read their eyes, knowing they were ready for a water, a beer, and a shot.
“What’s up?” Johnnie asked.
“It’s the last show,” Chris said. “How about... we say something?”
“That was a great show,” Rick said. “Johnnie, you were on fire. You were like part of the crowd, man.”
“And the acoustic version of “Chasing”,” Danny said. “That was amazing.”
“Really?” Johnnie asked. “I was hoping I didn’t piss you guys off with that.”
“No way,” Chris said.
“It’s cool,” Danny added. “Didn’t see it coming.”
“But we pulled it off,” Rick said. “Just proves how good we still are.”
Rick put a hand up and made a fist.
Johnnie laughed as the rest of the band had that gleam in their eyes. Johnnie remembered that gleam and the first time he saw it after one of their first practices, after writing one of their earlier songs. They had pulled off the song without a single mistake and once the song ended, the phone rang with an offer for their first gig.
Now it was years upon years later, millions of albums sold, millions of t-shirts and stickers sold, world tours, and all the allure that comes with being in such a band and they could still have those simple moments that boil down to the music.
It’s always about the music.
“How abou
t we celebrate with a quick shot?” Davey asked. “I have a bottle of Jack on the bus, saved it for tonight.”
“That’s a lot of whiskey for a short bus ride,” Danny said. “We’re, what, five miles from the hotel?”
“Works for me,” Rick said. He put his arms around Davey and Danny’s necks.
“Guys, listen,” Johnnie said, “I have something to take care of here...”
“Take care of?” Chris asked. He looked beyond Johnnie and saw Peter aimlessly pacing wall to wall, glued to his cell phone as always.
Around them a small crowd of roadies were already taking the equipment and stage setup apart, the behind the scenes crew that worked to the bone to make sure the look and feel was as good as the music, each and every night. Johnnie knew them all by name and made sure they were all taken care of. That was another purpose of having breaks in the tour. The guys were flown home to spend time with their families. A chance to unwind and relax before going back on the road. Most of the guys were meant to be on the road and simply went to another band but at least ten of the guys had wives, girlfriends, and kids at home.
“Is it Peter?” Chris asked. “Something going on?”
“No,” Johnnie said. “Not Peter. Why?”
“You seem anxious,” Chris said. “You’re not talking contracts without the band, are you?”
Johnnie felt his heart sink. He forced himself to smile. “Ball breakers.”
“Who?” Rick asked. “Us?”
“Yeah,” Johnnie said. “You want to know the truth?”
“Spill your guts,” Davey said.
“There’s a woman...”
“No way,” Danny cut in. “You have a groupie waiting for you? I thought we were past that stage...”
“Or at least if we were going to pick up some women, you should have told us,” Rick said. “There was a few in the crowd tonight...”
“Guys, we’re not twenty anymore,” Johnnie said. “It’s not like that. There’s the woman I met today. She had no idea who I was.”
“Oh no,” Chris said, “did the giant ego bubble bust?”
The band laughed and Johnnie put his hands up.
“It’s not that,” Johnnie said. “There was just something about her. She had tickets to the show from her friend and she had no clue who I was. She came to the show and I saw her... I have to talk to her...”