by Emme Rollins
Jess smiled. She still hadn't given Marie the autograph Johnnie signed for her. She was saving that for the end of the night (or morning) because if she gave it to Marie before Marie was ready to leave, then she would never get rid of her.
"Just kissed," Jess said. "He's a gentleman."
"I don't believe it. He's a rockstar. They like music and sex."
"We did not have sex," Jess said. Her body regretted that truth and it made her tingle, thinking of all the odd spots in the dressing room where she and Johnnie could have enjoyed themselves.
"So... are you like dating him?"
"I don't think so. He wanted to thank me for coming to the show."
"And that's it?"
"That's it."
"Are you going to see him again?"
Jess paused. Johnnie did say something about his hotel, but Jess didn't know a thing about it. And something told her that if she started calling the local hotels asking for Johnnie from Chasing Cross, she’d be laughed at and then hung up on.
“I doubt I’ll see him again,” Jess said. “We just talked. He told me thanks for coming to the show. And I left.”
“You kissed though,” Marie said.
“Yeah, twice. First time was hotter.”
Marie slapped her hand on the table, causing Jess to jump.
“I’m so jealous,” she said.
“You should be,” Jess said. “Then again, maybe I can help a little.”
“Oh yeah, how?”
“I wasn’t only thinking about myself when I was with Johnnie.”
Marie’s eyes lit up.
“I always keep my best friend in mind...”
Jess stood from the table, taking her tea with her. She had no interest in it, preferring her pillow and bed. She found the folded piece of paper Johnnie gave to her and turned, showing it to Marie.
“You have to promise me something,” Jess said.
“Okay...”
“When I give you this, you celebrate and go the hell home. Or crash on my couch. But quietly. I’m tired.”
“Why, what are you giving me?” Marie asked.
“You owe me big time for this.”
Jess presented the paper to Marie, smiling almost ear to ear. She couldn’t help it though, she understood Marie’s love for Chasing Cross. And what a moment it would be to have Johnnie’s autograph. Whether it had actual value in the world or not, it at least meant something to Johnnie.
Marie unfolded the paper and let out a girlish scream. She kicked her feet and held the paper to her chest.
“You didn’t!”
“Actually, I didn’t,” Jess said. “I mentioned you a couple times, but it was Johnnie who did that on his own. What does it say?”
Marie looked at the paper. “He wrote my name... oh my, Jess. He wrote my name.”
“Keep going,” Jess said.
“It says... Marie - thanks for coming to the show. Keep Chasing us and we’ll keep playing! Love - Johnnie. It has love on it!”
“He probably writes that on all his autographs,” Jess said. She hurried and closed her mouth, knowing just how she sounded.
Marie looked at her with both eyebrows raised. “Jealous...?”
“No, not at all. Stop it. Now you’ve got his autograph. Happy?”
“Yeah. This is amazing.” Marie studied the paper and looked at Jess again. “I’m serious. This is... you know, when “Chasing” came out, it was right after my dad died.”
“I remember, I’m sorry.”
Marie stared off. “It was the hardest time of my life. Cancer took him in three months. And nothing made sense. No matter what anyone said to me. Or tried to do. You remember my Uncle Tom?”
“Tom...”
“Short, fat, a pig.”
Jess smiled. She remembered Tom. She met him once and he tried to look down her shirt. Total creep.
“He told me I shouldn’t worry because at the end of it all, I’d end up with all my father’s money. As if that mattered.”
“He’s an ass,” Jess said. “Some people don’t get it.”
“No, just listen. When Uncle Tom said that, everything came crashing down around me. I couldn’t believe someone would say such a thing. It was the exact kind of moment when I’d run to my father for advice... or a hug. So I got in my car and had no idea where to go. I turned on the radio and there it was... “Chasing”.”
“Was that the first time you heard the song?”
Marie nodded. “It just felt right. The words. The music. It was beautiful. And it got me through that time.”
Marie swallowed and blinked, her eyes glossy.
Jess had to take a deep breath. The power of music was intense, like nothing she could have ever believed. It made her think about Johnnie. Such a sexy man, with a heart that could create music and words that could help someone.
That was true beauty.
“I’m glad Johnnie wanted to talk to me then,” Jess said.
Marie held the paper closer to her face. “Uh... Jess... I think he wants more than just talking...”
“Why do you say that?”
“Here, I think this part is for you.”
Marie ripped part of the paper, making sure she didn’t come close to Johnnie’s autograph. She handed it to Jess and sure enough, something else was written there.
Johnnie’s handwriting, but much smaller.
“I think he likes you,” Marie said. “Holy crap... Johnnie from Chasing Cross likes you!”
Jess stared at the paper.
A note from Johnnie.
Remember what I said, tomorrow.
And it included a phone number.
Jess looked up from the paper, her eyes wide. Her mind raced almost as much as her heart did.
Johnnie actually wanted her...
(11)
“This is to another decade of kicking ass and shredding stages!”
Rick held a wobbly shot glass in the air. His head was back and his lips puckered, trying to be the twenty-one year old rock God bad-ass that he once was.
Danny, Davey, and Chris all joined in.
The shot glasses clanked together, letting the amber liquor spill a little from each one.
“Come on Johnnie,” Chris said. “Don’t be an old man on us.”
“Guys, I can’t go crazy,” he said. “I’m waiting for a call...”
“A call? From who?” Chris asked.
“Is it that woman?” Davey asked.
Johnnie wouldn’t reply.
“Oh man,” Danny said. “Johnnie has fallen for a woman.”
“Bound to happen,” Chris said.
“You just met her,” Rick said.
“She’s... special,” Johnnie said. “Leave it at that.”
“Okay,” Rick said. “So let’s celebrate Johnnie’s new love flame. Now, put your cell phone in your pocket and have a freaking drink with us!”
Johnnie smiled.
What was one shot?
Sure, ten years ago one shot meant two which meant ten, but this was different.
Johnnie stood and poured himself a shot.
The band stood with their arms in the air. It made Johnnie think of the night they signed their record deal. They stood, just like this, except they were holding warm cans of discount beer. They saluted each other, they drank beer, and they woke the next day dead set on a long career in music.
“Say something,” Chris said.
“Me?” Johnnie asked.
“Yeah, come on.”
“You guys and these speeches... fine. Here’s to tonight. To the music. To the wildness. To the purity. And here’s to a break to rest our minds and bodies... because when we start again, we’re going to blow the fucking stages to pieces!”
Everyone laughed, cheered, and took their drink.
Rick was the first to grab the bottle of whiskey for another. Johnnie gave him the eyes and Rick turned his attention to the rest of the band.
It was going to be one of those nights.
“Be safe,” Johnnie said. “I’m going to head to my room and relax.”
“It’s not even three yet,” Chris said.
Johnnie smiled. “It’s all good, man. You enjoy. But not too much.”
Danny wrapped his arm around Johnnie’s neck. “Same to you, brother. Women can tear your heart to pieces.”
“That’s only if you give it to them,” Rick chimed in.
Danny touched Johnnie’s chest. “Ut-oh, this guy’s screwed.”
Johnnie shook his way out of the room, closed the door and stood for a few seconds, listening as the rest of the band enjoyed the early morning hours. It was great to hear but Johnnie knew in the pit of his stomach that time marched on and that meant so did life. He didn’t want to live the same life over and over. He knew the rest of the band would feel the same way someday.
When he walked into his room, the first thing he did was look at his acoustic guitar resting on the couch. He picked it up and wasted no time strumming some chords. Even after playing a show that night, it still made his body race. It made him think of Jess. She was the only thing besides music that made him feel the same way.
He started playing “Chasing”, thinking about Jess’s face and eyes but quickly found himself strumming the chords for the new song that Peter wanted him to release on his own. He stopped for a second, feeling a sting of regret in heart. He looked at the door and then started to play it again.
Nothing was signed, yet.
The song could be on the next Chasing Cross album.
Johnnie understood what Peter wanted for the band and Peter knew how Johnnie felt about playing acoustic. Like Johnnie told Jess, everything was written acoustic and then brought to the band to add their sound. A lot of the songs sounded great with just a guitar and Johnnie’s voice, but that would be cheating, wouldn’t it? People wanted Chasing Cross... not Johnnie from Chasing Cross.
Feeling suddenly lonely and confused, Johnnie tossed the acoustic guitar to the other couch in the room. He moved from the couch to the window and gazed upon the sleeping city. Very few lights were on. Traffic mostly dead. The intersections he could see all had red lights, waiting for a car to come close enough to signal green.
Johnnie looked at his cell phone and squeezed it.
Why hadn’t she called yet?
He hoped Jess just didn’t give the piece of paper to Marie and leave it at that. That’s when Johnnie realized how potentially stupid his move could have been. Imagine if Marie called him... or worse yet, what if Marie put his phone number online? Fans were often crazy, and some of them did just plain stupid things.
Johnnie sighed, wishing he had done more in the backstage dressing room. He wished he had done more in the café too. But something about Jess seemed to keep him an inch away. Not out of fear, no way. He didn’t fear Jess... but maybe he did fear what she could do to him and what she could mean to him.
After standing at the window for twenty minutes, Johnnie finally retreated back to the couch. He turned on the television knowing nothing would satisfy the feeling burning inside him. He put his head back for a second to try to clear his mind.
The second suddenly became much longer and when he heard the ringing of his cell phone, it took him a few seconds to snap himself out of his unexpected sleep.
Jess! Jess! Jess!
His hand searched the couch, and then his pocket, before his eyes even opened. When they finally did, he looked around the room, realizing how bright it was. Before answering the phone, he looked at the clock and saw it was after nine in the morning.
He jumped from the couch and answered the call almost out of breath.
“Jess? What took you so long to call?”
(12)
Jess couldn’t believe she sat in the back of a cab on her way to The Richmond. It wasn’t the largest hotel in the city and it wasn’t the most luxurious, but maybe that was the best place to hide the guys from Chasing Cross. Of all things to think about, Jess wondered what they did with the tour bus and all the music equipment if the band stayed at the hotel. It seemed silly to think about, but it kept her mind from asking the million questions she had about Johnnie.
The cab pulled up to the front of the hotel and the driver looked at Jess, nodding.
“All set,” he said.
“Do I owe...?”
“All set, ma’am.”
Jess climbed from the cab and looked around. The hotel seemed so quiet and calm. It didn’t seem possible that it could house the guys from Chasing Cross. She expected to see dozens of people outside, screaming and begging for Johnnie. Maybe that’s what they used the tour bus for. When it drives off, everyone thinks they’re gone.
After walking through the lobby of the hotel, Jess called Johnnie again, waiting for the next move. He told her to go to the elevators and wait. That would be the hardest part of the morning. Watching the set of lights above her, counting down. The lights stopped at the tenth floor and then descended again. The minutes moved like hours and when two more people showed up, standing behind Jess, she wondered what would happen when the elevator doors opened.
They finally did and the elevator was empty.
What...
That’s when Jess noticed the book in the middle of the elevator. It was the copy of her book, the one that Johnnie had the night before at his show. She had no choice but to step into the elevator. She picked up the book and held it, smiling.
“Excuse me?”
Jess looked up. A woman smiled at her, pointing to the elevator panel.
“What floor?”
“I... I’m not sure,” Jess said. “Let me... check...”
The woman raised an eyebrow and turned around. The doors shut and Jess opened the book. She found one of the pages folded and assumed it was where Johnnie had left off. Page twenty-three was the folded page and on top of that, it was circled in pen a few times.
Jess thought about it and swore that the night before Johnnie mentioned he was further into the book than just twenty-three pages. Unless he was lying. Maybe he read slow. Maybe he didn’t read at all.
Maybe his floor was twenty-three.
Jess gasped and smiled. She reached forward and touched the number twenty-three.
When the elevator reached the twenty-third floor, she was the only one left to get off. She looked up and down the hall. There were plenty of doors to choose from.
How would she find Johnnie’s room?
Jess fingered along the pages of her book, feeling the paper rub against her thumb. She thought about calling Johnnie again. They were far enough away from people, right? It didn’t matter now.
Unless Johnnie liked this little game.
Jess checked the book again and sure enough, another page was folded.
Page three-seventeen.
Jess eyed the doors in front of her and saw how they ascended to her right. She turned and started to move fast, almost jogging down the hall. She had to make another right and continued all the way down to the end of the hall.
And there it was.
The last door on the right.
317.
She put her hand up, ready to knock, when the door opened.
“Johnnie,” she whispered.
He stood as surprised as Jess. As a smile climbed across his face, Jess took note of his dimples and then his eyes. They were beautiful and protective. Jess felt comfortable, trying to look beyond the celebrity of Johnnie to see the real man that now extended his hand towards her.
When he touched her wrist, she thought of Marie. She thought of Marie’s story and how important Johnnie’s music was to her. How it helped her. How she found peace through suffering, all because of music. Music that Johnnie created. And that same man now wanted Jess.
She moved into the hotel room, just staring at him.
“Are you okay?” Johnnie asked. “Hope I didn’t throw you off too much with the book. It’s hard for me to just go out, you know?”
“I understand,” Jess said.
Jess nodded. “What do you do all day then? Just sit in the room?”
“The guys are sleeping, I’m sure. They were celebrating the end of the tour.”
“What about you?”
Johnnie touched Jess’s cheek with his thumb. He moved to her lips and smiled. “I’ll start celebrating right now.”
Jess kept her eyes open as Johnnie kissed her. Her lips were parted and she let out a soft moan, unable to control herself. She kissed back as Johnnie had both hands to her face. Jess felt the temptation to touch Johnnie, just like she did last night. Now they were in a hotel, nothing could stop them. There was a bed. Jess was certain it had to be a big bed. She wanted to find out.
When Johnnie moved back from the kiss, Jess licked her lips.
“I’ve been thinking about that all night,” Johnnie said.
“Me too.”
Jess moved towards Johnnie again but as he stood taller than her, she couldn’t reach his lips. She nuzzled her nose to his neck and felt him take a long breath.
“Jess, wait a second.”
“What’s wrong?”
Johnnie put his hands to her hips and forced her to take a couple steps back. He looked at her with the slight hesitation and regret of what he was about to say.
“I don’t want to just... have you once,” Johnnie said. “I know that’s the image we have. But that’s not what I want.”
“I understand,” Jess said.
“You’re not here for a hookup, Jess. You’re here for a purpose.”
“What’s that?”
“You’re an artist, like me. I’m in the middle of a decision, about a song. I need someone to talk to about it.”
“I don’t know the first thing about music.”
“Maybe that’s just what I need.”
Johnnie walked away from Jess towards the large window at the end of the hotel room. He stood and slipped his hands into his pockets. When he turned his head, Jess froze and stared at the side view of Johnnie’s face. His features were perfect but what caught Jess the most was his eyes. She could see the power and the magic in them. He looked out to a city but Jess was certain he saw more than a city. He saw stories, beauty, something to write about. Something to create.