by Emme Rollins
“She’s in your room?” Rick asked.
Johnnie nodded. He started taking steps back. “That was the best show of the tour. Keep that locked in your hearts, okay? We get a little break now, nobody get into trouble.”
“You’re the only one who seems to be heading for trouble,” Danny called out.
Johnnie turned and refused to believe this was going to be trouble. Meeting a woman was fine, natural even. It had been a long time for Johnnie and the whole rockstar image was kept alive because of his single status.
Not that any of that left Johnnie, there was just something about Jess. He thought about Chris’s comment on his ego and he shook his head. It wasn’t the ego thing, at least completely. Sure, Johnnie had gotten used to everyone knowing him, bothering him, wanting him. So it was a little foreign to have a woman - especially one as beautiful as Jess - not have a clue who he was.
The more he walked, the more Johnnie caught himself starting to move faster. He never hurried for a woman, ever. There was no need to do so... if a woman couldn’t wait for him, there’d be ten more to take her place. But inside Johnnie, at that moment, he’d trade a hundred women just to have a chance to see Jess again.
When he made it to the door he opened it in a hurry, expecting to see the room empty.
But it wasn’t empty.
There she was, standing there, playing with her hands, looking nervous.
Their eyes met and Johnnie smiled.
Jess smiled back at him, looking just as surprised as Johnnie was.
“Hey,” Johnnie said.
He was out of breath, not just from the show. Not just from the jog down the hall. It was mostly from staring at Jess. Gosh, she was beautiful.
“Nice show,” Jess said.
Johnnie went to take a step and realized something.
He wasn’t heading for trouble... he was in trouble.
(9)
The door opened, Johnnie walked in, and Jess couldn’t move. She found herself just seconds earlier debating what to do. The show had ended what felt like an hour ago and outside the room she could hear people walking around.
All she could think about then was Marie. Standing outside or near outside, waiting.
But the second she saw Johnnie, everything inside her mind was blasted away. All she could focus on then was him. His sweaty hair. His sweaty body. The way his white t-shirt clung to him, revealing a set of amazing muscles that Jess hadn’t had the chance to see earlier in the café. His jeans and black shoes somehow completed the way he looked, making him hands down the sexiest man Jess ever saw in her life.
When he spoke to her, Jess managed to say one thing.
“Nice show.”
Whether it was the right or wrong thing to say Jess didn’t know.
But Johnnie smiled, so that had to mean something.
“Yeah, that was a fun show. Changed things up a little in the middle.”
“With “Chasing”?” Jess asked.
“Yeah. I wrote that song on an acoustic guitar for myself a long time ago.”
Jess stood, still trying to come to terms that she was alone with the lead singer of Chasing Cross. And now he was explaining where songs came from. This was a dream. No, it was beyond a dream. A fantasy.
“That’s how I write all the songs, to be honest. I’ll just play and record demos. Just me and a guitar. I come up with some ideas and then pass them off. The band then takes my junk and turns it into treasure.”
“That song, acoustic, wasn’t junk,” Jess said. “I... I sort of liked it better...”
Johnnie smiled. “Yeah, you’re not the first person to say that tonight.”
Johnnie’s smile went away as he turned to look at himself in a mirror that had four lights above it. He leaned against a small counter and sighed.
“Thank you for doing this,” Jess said.
“For what?” Johnnie asked.
“Bringing me back here. And I’m sorry I didn’t know who you were.”
“That’s fine,” Johnnie said. “Do you know who I am now?”
“I know you’re the lead singer of Chasing Cross.”
“Is that enough?”
Jess found her fingers twitching even more. She couldn’t believe how nervous she was right now. In the café, it had been so easy to talk to Johnnie. Now, after knowing he was famous, it seemed different. But why?
“No,” Jess said.
“No?”
“No. Just because you’re famous...”
“So are you,” Johnnie said.
He pushed from the counter and walked across the room. He reached for a bag and opened it. Jess couldn’t help herself as she watched. She caught sight of notebooks, loose papers, and guitar picks.
“I keep as much as I can with me,” Johnnie said. “You never know when inspiration will attack.”
He then pulled out a book and tossed it to Jess.
She managed to catch the book. Her thumbs glided over the bubbled text on the cover as her cheeks started to turn red.
“Now I’ll be honest,” Johnnie said. “I grabbed a copy of it today, after I left the café. You’re not an easy girl to find...”
Jess’s fingers ran across her name on the book. Everything was written under the name Jessica CeeCee. Her debut novel, in the hands of Johnnie from Chasing Cross. She looked up from the book and felt the urge to cry.
“I managed to get it,” Johnnie said with a smile. “Obviously.”
“What do you think of it?” Jess asked.
“I love it, so far. Halfway through it. I pissed off my manager because I ignored his calls while reading it in my hotel room. Sucked me right in. You’ve got talent.”
Jess smiled and put the book on a table. It seemed so strange to see something she’d written in print like that. And the fact that Johnnie was able to walk into a bookstore and find it.
“It’s a strange feeling, right?” Johnnie asked.
“What is?” Jess asked. She hoped he wasn’t talking about the way Jess felt for Johnnie. Feelings were building and she was too afraid to explore them right then.
“Seeing something you created become mainstream.”
“That’s for sure.”
“When we started playing together, it was just for fun. I mean, sure, we dreamed of hitching to California and following our heroes footsteps, but it was just about playing. Those early shows, ten people in a bar, three watching us, they were some of the best shows. Then you write music, record it, and people want it. They don’t just want to listen to the music either, they want to experience it. That’s where the passion is. Standing on stage, looking into the eyes of all those people. Each and every one of them, focused on you, their eyes begging for more, wanting more.”
“Sounds amazing,” Jess said.
“It is... but there’s something more amazing than that.”
Jess was about to ask what? when Johnnie moved towards her. It was the first advance he’d made at her since coming into the room. Jess could have stepped back, or even stepped forward, but she remained in place.
Johnnie got close to her, a foot away. She could smell him. The sweat. The hint of his cologne. Then there was his eyes. They were dark and beautiful, looking like they could hold pain and project love, all at the same time. A man who took no prisoner, who walked the path he believed in. It was almost overwhelming.
Then Johnnie reached for Jess’s hand. His touch was gentle, and Jess shivered with excitement.
“I looked out in that crowd tonight,” Johnnie said, his voice almost a whisper. “And I looked for you. I searched for you. Hoping you’d be there... and you were...”
“My friend,” Jess started to say, but stopped.
“I saw you standing there. Your face said it all. You really didn’t know who I was. It drove me wild. You’re so beautiful and I couldn’t help myself, Jess. That show, that was your show. Not mine. Not the bands. Not the crowd. Not even your friend. That was your show. My gift to you.”
Je
ss swallowed. She had no idea how to respond to that.
Johnnie wasn’t just commanding, he was serious.
“I’m used to just having what I want, when I want it,” Johnnie said. “And that’s usually because of who I am. With you, I want what you want, when you want it.”
“Johnnie... you’re a famous singer. I’m just an author.”
“That has nothing to do with feelings, does it?”
Jess shook her head. Of course it didn’t.
“We have a charity show and then I have a few weeks off. That’s a few weeks to get to know you. To explore you, Jess.”
“I can’t believe this,” Jess said.
“Can’t believe what?”
“You’re the lead singer of Chasing Cross...”
Johnnie sighed and lowered his head. His grip squeezed on Jess’s wrist, for a second, and then released. When he looked at her again, his eyes seemed different. They looked more painful than caring. Jess had struck a nerve and she regretted it. She tried to reach for Johnnie but he walked back towards the mirror.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Jess said. “I promise.”
“If I would have just given you my number,” Johnnie said. “And you didn’t come to the show... this would be normal. Wouldn’t it?”
Johnnie looked in the mirror and Jess stared at his reflection, and her own.
“What’s normal?” Jess asked. “You went and found my book today, didn’t you?”
“But that doesn’t mean I’m acting different around you. I bought it because you said you were a writer.”
“You had to find out my name though.”
“So?”
“You told me you played guitar and I saw your show,” Jess said. “So?”
“You’re acting different. Because I’m from Chasing Cross.”
“It’s not just that,” Jess said. Her mouth ran dry and she put a hand to her mouth. She swallowed and tried to find the rest of the words.
How was it so easy to write a book about a story, people, and emotions but when it came to her own, Jess felt trapped? Putting her heart out there seemed to be the hardest thing to do.
“Okay, then what is it?” Johnnie asked. “I thought I could come back here, talk to you, Jess, and be like we were this morning...”
“Why me?” Jess asked. “That’s what it is. Why me? You’re the lead singer of a band. You can have any woman in the world, but you want me? Someone who doesn’t know you... someone who...”
“That doesn’t matter!” Johnnie said as he turned around. “I don’t care what you know or don’t know. I care about the way you look at me. The way I look at you. That’s where it all starts. We can get to know each other over time, can’t we?”
“You tell me,” Jess said.
“I’m telling you,” Johnnie said.
He moved at her again. He stood without touching her this time.
“I’m sorry,” Jess whispered.
“For what?”
“I wasn’t sure what my purpose was back here tonight. I didn’t know if I was a... groupie... or the band...”
Johnnie touched Jess’s face with his hand. His fingers caressed down her cheek. Their eyes locked and Johnnie smiled.
“You can be anything you want,” Johnnie whispered. “All I know is that I met a woman today that made my heart jump a little. And then in a crowd of thousands, there she was again. I’m not afraid, Jess, and I won’t hold back.”
“Don’t,” Jess said. “Please. Don’t...”
Johnnie made his next move, bringing his lips down to her. They were a centimeter away. Jess’s lips started to quiver, waiting to feel Johnnie kiss her.
“I’m not asking for your heart, or life,” Johnnie whispered. “I’m just asking for this moment, to share with me.”
“I’m right here,” Jess said.
Their lips finally touched. Johnnie’s hand held Jess’s cheek. His other hand touched the other side of her face as he kissed her again. And again. And again. His lips were soft but commanding, and each time Jess wanted the kiss to grow hotter, Johnnie resisted. It made Jess moan. She felt her cheeks burning, feeling embarrassed to have moaned like that. But then Johnnie groaned and opened his mouth. When his tongue touched Jess’s lips, her hands grabbed at the first thing they could reach.
Johnnie’s pockets.
All but her thumbs were in his pockets.
She then pulled, unaware of her own deep seeded sensual desires and needs.
Johnnie came forward, his body touching hers. That’s when his hands slowly made their descent from her face to her arms. He pulled at her as their tongues swirled around each other’s, wanting more.
Finally, Johnnie broke the kiss by closing his mouth on Jess’s lips. He held for a few seconds, exhaling a warm breath through his nose. He pulled away with a quick wet pop sound.
He licked his lips and swallowed.
Jess did the same, tasting Johnnie. She wanted more.
“That’s all I wanted to do tonight,” Johnnie said.
“I thought rockstars were a little more wild than that,” Jess teased.
Johnnie touched Jess’s face again. “Oh, sweetheart, if you want wild...”
His hand slipped around to Jess’s backside and pulled at her. It forced Jess to jump up and Johnnie’s other hand left her face and gripped her backside too. He turned with Jess off her feet. She wrapped her legs around him and he walked her towards the counter.
Jess was then sitting on the counter. Johnnie’s hands were flat and when she looked at them, she could tell he wanted nothing but to touch her. Their eyes met again and Johnnie came close to her. The tip of his nose touched hers and he smiled.
“We have time to get wild,” he said. “Don’t we?”
“I don’t know,” Jess said. “You’re the rockstar. The busy man. The one on tour.”
“Like I said, we’re on a break.”
“So I guess that means you have time.”
“I guess so,” Johnnie said.
A few seconds of silence came between them. Jess wanted Johnnie to kiss her again, but part of her didn’t want him to. She wanted to have that first kiss linger on her lips for as long as she could handle it.
“Meet me tomorrow,” Johnnie said.
“Meet you? Where?”
“My hotel. Come to my room.”
“Getting tired for tonight?” Jess asked with vixen desires burning in her eyes.
Johnnie puckered his lips and exhaled. “Don’t tempt me...”
“Why?”
“I may have to take you away for the entire month I have off.”
“I haven’t got any plans,” Jess said and smiled. Of course she had plans. Everyone had plans. This was just flirty talk... nothing more.
Right?
A knock came at the door and Johnnie closed his eyes.
“Johnnie? It’s Peter. I need...”
“Hold on,” Johnnie called out.
Jess watched him move away and she jumped from the counter. Johnnie opened the door and Jess recognized the man from the café this morning. Sweating, holding his cell phone, looking disoriented but in control.
“Oh, sorry,” Peter said when he saw Jess.
“It’s fine,” Johnnie said. “Jess and I were just talking about our plans.”
Jess smiled. Her body was on fire. She never wanted a man as bad as she wanted Johnnie. Normally, she would go on date after date, trying to find out everything she could about a man before even thinking about jumping into bed with him. But with Johnnie... was it so wrong to just want to tear his clothes off? To let him have her and then ask questions later.
“Give me two minutes,” Johnnie said and closed the door on Peter. He turned back to Jess. “Business calls...”
“I never thought I could imagine music and business together,” Jess said.
“Just like books I bet. People see the art but not what’s behind the scenes.”
Jess moved towards the door and stopped. “Listen
, Johnnie. Thank you. For bringing me here... and...”
“You said your friend is fan of the band?” Johnnie asked.
“Big fan,” Jess hold. “She’s... sort of obsessed. But not in a creepy way. At least I don’t think so.”
“Here, let me give you something.”
Johnnie walked to his bag and Jess watched as he started scribbling on a piece of paper.
“You said her name was... Mary?” he asked.
“Marie.”
Johnnie came back with the paper folded up and handed it to Jess. “There. Give that to Marie.”
Jess looked at the paper then back at Johnnie.
He moved down at her, kissing her one more time. A quick kiss, lips to lips, but enough that Jess knew it would be all she’d think about. All she’d dream about.
It’d be all she would want, again and again.
She left the room and before she could take a step, a thought hit her.
What about tomorrow?
Johnnie wanted Jess to come to his room. Or maybe that was just talk. Silly rockstar talk.
Either way, all Jess knew was that her heart wouldn’t calm down. Not tonight, and maybe, not ever.
(10)
“You really kissed Johnnie from Chasing Cross?”
It was the fifth time Marie asked Jess about it. Jess hated herself for saying anything, but Marie wouldn’t let it go until she finally confessed something.
They were at Jess's apartment, watching the early morning creep on. The last time Jess stayed up past one in the morning was when she had been working on her first book. Now she had herself on a rigid writing schedule, knowing that flying by the seat of her pants didn't work anymore. At least professionally. Romantically, who knew what worked?
She licked her lips, pretending she could still taste Johnnie but he was long gone.
Jess stared down into a steaming cup of tea, not wanting it. She wondered if Johnnie and the rest of the band were drinking. Or sleeping. Or with other women. In her mind, the rockstar life was nothing but shows and indulgence. But Johnnie didn't seem to fit that, at all.
"So you two kissed and nothing else?"