Vanessa didn’t believe any of that. “I don’t like lying to my sisters. I don’t know how long I can keep it up without slipping and saying something about where I’ve really been. They are grown women now and deserve the truth.”
“No one deserves that kind of truth. It was your father’s idea to claim he had business to take care of in the Caribbean to explain his absence.”
“But I don’t think either of you thought far enough ahead. It’s already been six years. What happens in another five years when a business trip will no longer suffice as an excuse? Or when the twins are married and they want to visit him, what then?”
“That’s a bridge that doesn’t need to be crossed yet.”
“Bloody hell, Mother, that bridge is sinking.”
Kathleen stiffened. “What exactly did your father tell you?”
“Everything. You betrayed him with another man!”
“I swear I didn’t.”
“But you would have,” Vanessa accused. “You were in the very process of doing so when Father caught you.”
“Good God, he had no right to tell you that!”
“Hardly the point. Too much time has passed. The twins don’t understand why he’s still not home. It’s not as if we’re going to become paupers with the loss of a plantation in the West Indies. Layla and Emily aren’t stupid, Mother. So at least tell them something about why Father can’t return to England, or I will.”
She left the room with that ultimatum, bolstered by anger once again and proud that she had it somewhat under control. She wasn’t sure what to make of Kathleen’s swearing that she hadn’t betrayed her husband. Why did her mother think she could lie when she’d been caught in the act? William hadn’t believed her denial with that sort of evidence. Why should she?
Chapter Nineteen
KATHLEEN STARED AT THE door Vanessa had just closed and let her tears flow freely now. She was so utterly pleased to have her firstborn home again, but so conflicted because of it. Six years! She had begun to fear she might never see Vanessa again and there would be nothing she could do about it.
But she was finally home. It just wasn’t their Vanessa who had returned to them. The young woman who had stood there so defiantly was nothing like the thirteen-year-old child she remembered. The child had never been so bold or ever expressed so much anger. She was nothing like her sisters. She didn’t even look like the lady she was, or apparently think like one. Good Lord, what had William done? Turned Vanessa into a son just to spite her? Bold, daring—defiant, just as a boy would be. And how could she tell Vanessa about what she’d done when the girl was already so angry over the past? She couldn’t, not immediately. She had to disarm Vanessa’s anger first but wasn’t sure if the truth would suffice. It hadn’t with William.
Once again, her hatred of the Rathbans for destroying her family rose up to choke her. The rest of them weren’t as despicable as Henry, but Albert Rathban, the eldest, was a close second and still held the cards.
After the debacle, she’d still had hope that the ultimatum Albert had given William when he’d been grief-stricken could be rescinded. She’d intended to appeal to him after some time had passed and would have done so if she hadn’t heard that his remaining brother, John, had died barely a year after Henry’s death. She’d had to wait again until Albert’s grief over the loss of his last brother had ebbed and wouldn’t cloud his judgment so much that he wouldn’t listen to the truth about what had transpired between her and Henry, as William had done.
So nearly two years passed before she’d dared to visit Albert to appeal to any sense of decency and fairness he might have. She’d struck a deal with him, although it wasn’t what she had hoped for. And the interview had been an utterly debasing experience for her.
Too many bad memories were returning all at once. She thrust them away and joined the twins for breakfast, hoping they could distract her. But all they did was give her expectant looks, and she didn’t doubt they were waiting to hear what she had to say about Vanessa’s return—and her ridiculous appearance. Vanessa was going to be a bad influence on them. She had to make peace with her eldest daughter before that happened. But how?
She was too distraught to eat and left the dining room to seek out Vanessa. She found her in the room she’d been given in the west wing. She didn’t even think to knock and realized too late that she couldn’t treat Vanessa as a child any longer. But she didn’t apologize. She had caught Vanessa in a pose before the mirror of an empty wardrobe, examining herself in a lovely aqua frock, not one of the twins’ colors.
Vanessa merely glanced over her shoulder and, seeing her mother, looked down at the ratty-looking boots she was also wearing. She casually said, “I forgot to fetch shoes when I grabbed the dress.”
“You don’t need to fetch anything. Your room was prepared for you the day your trunks arrived. Why didn’t you arrive with them?”
Vanessa shrugged nonchalantly. “I thought to see a bit of London first, since Father gave me full access to his house there.”
“I bought another house in London. I didn’t feel comfortable going back to that one.”
“I’m not surprised.”
Kathleen drew in her breath at her daughter’s disparaging tone. So much for keeping their discourse neutral. Or making peace, for that matter. That wouldn’t happen unless Vanessa would listen to the truth. William had refused to listen, but she really had no choice but to try with her daughter.
“Have you told the twins anything yet?” Kathleen asked.
“Have you? But when d’you think I had the opportunity? You think I sat down at the dining table dressed as I was? I came up here instead to change my appearance. I decided not to rub in my preference in clothes any further.”
“Thank you for that, but they can’t hear your version of why their father went away, Nessa. It simply isn’t the truth.”
“So Father didn’t find you in bed with another man?”
Kathleen’s face felt as if it were exploding with heat, but she couldn’t avoid this. At least Vanessa, who had it all wrong, had to understand that she’d had no choice.
“You’re being naive,” Kathleen said sharply. “But I should have known you were too young to understand that sometimes a woman has to take extreme measures to protect her family and all she holds dear.”
“And?”
“There is no and. I did nothing wrong!”
“Other than split our family apart? If that’s the rubbish you tried to feed Father, I’m not surprised he didn’t listen. But I know too much to listen to platitudes at this point, Mother. Save them for the twins. Maybe they won’t mind that you aren’t offering an actual defense for your indiscretion. You know, I think I would rather have heard the oldest excuse there is, that you fell in love with Henry Rathban and just couldn’t help yourself.”
Kathleen sighed. “No, that wasn’t it a’tall. Henry and I were old friends. He’d even competed with your father to win my hand all those years ago, though there was never any chance of that happening. I loved your father then, and I still do. But Henry and I became reacquainted when he came to London in the spring when I was visiting my friends as I usually did for a few weeks each year. Your father didn’t always join me, and that time I was there without him and was flattered by Henry’s attention. His family is old wealth, powerful, and held in high regard by the ton. And he was amusing. There might have been some harmless flirtation but not the sort that would lead to anything.”
“Yet it did,” Vanessa said.
“No, it didn’t. He came to the London house and tried to kiss me, but I rebuffed him strongly and told him to get out. He was actually amused! And he told me, ‘Everyone will think we are lovers, I’ll make sure of that—unless we do actually become lovers, then I’ll keep it secret. Your reputation will remain sterling, our spouses won’t get hurt, and we can enjoy ourselves. I’m making it easy for you, Kathy. You know you want to.’ He was so confident. I think he really believed there was something more between u
s, when there wasn’t. But I was too shocked at the time to answer him and he left. But I realized because our acquaintances thought we were already friends, and we had been seen laughing together, dancing together, that if he did actually spread that rumor, it would cause a full-blown scandal because no one would doubt it was true. Henry had very cleverly set the trap for me by showing up at the events I attended and spending so much time at my side, almost as if we’d gone to those events together.”
“So you gave in?”
“No, I wasn’t going to! I left the house to go to his elder brother Albert, who I hoped would convince Henry to call off the threat. But Henry was waiting outside for me on the step. He’d guessed exactly what I’d intended to do. He laughed at me and said, ‘D’you think my brother will care? He’ll consider this such a trifle I’ll only get a slap on the wrist, but before you even reach Albert to tattle on me, the rumor about our affair will have been spread all over White’s. I’m going there now. You’ll be shunned by the ton, Kathy. And you might want to think about your daughters and what a scandal like that will do to them.’ ”
“So you were going to engage in scandalous behavior to defuse a fake scandal?”
“The moment he mentioned you girls I knew I had no choice. Even if a scandal like that died down, it would rise up the moment you went to London for your come-out and ruin your chances for a good match, then the same thing would happen to your sisters. I could not let that happen. Your father accepted his exile for the exact same reason, to protect you girls from scandal.”
“You could have denied all of it!”
“It doesn’t work that way, Vanessa. Once gossip like that spreads, it never really goes away. My friends might believe me, but no one else would. There would always have been whispers. And I would have lost your father anyway because he would still have challenged Henry. No matter what I did, nothing would be any different than it is right now. So I chose to protect you girls from that scandal.”
“And Father showed up instead?”
“Yes, but he didn’t give me a chance to explain. He kicked me out of the London house. When I returned the next day to explain, the servants wouldn’t let me in. I waited, but when William came home, he walked right past me without a word as if I were invisible. He was still too angry. So I went home to Dawton Manor and waited for him to come for an explanation.”
“Did you ever tell him what you just told me?”
“He never gave me a chance to in London. So I didn’t know he’d challenged Henry to a duel or the results of it until William came to Cheshire to gather his belongings and leave the country. But yes, I told him everything then, I just don’t think he heard a word of it he was so enraged. He kept saying I’d ruined his life. He didn’t consider that mine was also ruined by that duel. I even offered to leave the country with him, but he said he never wanted to see me again.”
“Because you betrayed him. No matter how you look at it, Mother, whether you did it or not, you would have slept with another man instead of letting Father know about Rathban’s threat to ruin you in a scandal.”
“Vanessa, think about it! Do you really think the results would have been any different if I’d taken the matter to William? There would still have been a duel, but one based on supposition that Henry would have certainly denied, so it could have been much worse.”
“You don’t know that! You never gave Father a chance to fix it! You should have fixed it. I would have shot the bastard the moment he got near my bed—where he didn’t belong.”
Kathleen was taken aback. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m not. If he really did promise to ruin you and your daughters if you didn’t let him have his way with you, he would have deserved it. At the very least you could have given him a minor wound to prove you would kill him if he went through with his plan.”
Kathleen was amazed. Why couldn’t she have had this sort of courage in the face of Henry’s threats? It had never occurred to her to resort to physical violence. She thought she’d been courageous in going to Albert Rathban to appeal for mercy, but truly, she’d only been desperate. And it had all been for naught.
She began to pace, frustrated by Vanessa’s lack of understanding—so like her father’s. Even after she’d made a full confession, Vanessa was still blaming her for everything. Would this nightmare never end? Dare she tell Vanessa about her meeting with Albert Rathban? It had been so humiliating, how could she repeat any of it to her daughter? Yet her memory of that horrible meeting was still so vivid in her mind. She’d gone to Albert with such hope in her heart. She’d wanted her family back!
She’d been able to tell him that his brother had promised to create a false scandal to ruin her family if she didn’t crawl willingly into his bed. Not in those exact words, she’d been more circumspect, but she’d pleaded with him to let her husband come home safely without their family being ruined.
She’d managed to get that much out before his nasty response, “If you’re here to offer yourself to me, I’m not interested. I have no brothers left, thanks to you. John fell off his bloody horse and died the year after Henry did.”
“You can’t blame me for that,” she said.
“No, but I’d still have one brother left if you weren’t so damn pretty Henry lost his head over you.”
“I never encouraged him! He blackmailed—”
“Enough!” Albert cut in furiously. “Henry told a different story, that he was the innocent in that sordid affair, you the seducer. You led him to expect a certain outcome. You can’t dangle a carrot in front of a man and never hand it over. If you knew him at all, and I assume you did, you knew he wasn’t a man with a great deal of patience. You taxed him to the limit and he lost his life because of it.”
“It was a harmless flirtation with an old friend!”
“One who didn’t consider it harmless at all. You made him fall in love with you again. You can’t play the sophisticated game you do and not reap unpleasant results occasionally. You courted scandal.”
“You don’t blackmail someone you love. You can’t defend that.”
“I condemn you for bringing it to that point—because you stupidly let your husband find out.”
“That isn’t what happened,” she said stiffly.
“No? I’m to believe you instead of my brother? But even if what you claim was true, it would have been no more than a bluff on Henry’s part, because he wouldn’t intentionally create a scandal that would have touched his own family. Which makes you a bloody fool, madam, not to have realized that.”
“I have three daughters! I don’t gamble with what a man might or might not do when their futures are at stake.”
She started to leave, too insulted to try to reason with him further or point out that a scandal of that sort didn’t hurt a man nearly as much as it did a woman. But he snapped, “Sit down, I’m not done with you. I need a moment to think.”
He took more than a moment before he gave her a calculated look. “To satisfy both sides of the argument, and to pay for my loss, which is greater than yours, give me one of your daughters for my son, he’ll never get a wife otherwise. Your heir will do, since other than your holding the honorary title of Countess in the interim, your father’s title, the Marquis of Dawton, will pass to your firstborn’s son—my grandson. I find that an acceptable trade for all the pain you’ve caused the Rathban family.”
“And that will be the end of it? There will be no more talk of ruining my family?”
“Would I ruin the family my son has married into? But I want the girl and the marriage first, and I warn you it will be difficult. Daniel is determined to never marry. I’ve brought him five young ladies, any one of whom he could have taken to the altar, and he refused to marry any of them! The marriage will need to be his idea, so your gel will have to seduce him. If she takes after you and dangles the carrot, perhaps she can succeed where others have failed.”
She’d left the Rathbans’ London mansion that day with
a firm agreement. It wasn’t an ideal solution, but it was a solution. And she kept telling herself that one bad apple like Henry didn’t rot the whole basket. But then Vanessa didn’t come home last year when she should have to seal the bargain. But how could she offer the Rathbans this Vanessa even if the bargain was still available? The Rathbans wouldn’t want a girl this intractable—even if she could manage to get such an angry, aggressive hoyden to the altar.
Kathleen stopped pacing, shook her head in frustration, and inadvertently said aloud, “Not that any of that matters now, when Rathban hasn’t answered my—”
“What?”
Kathleen turned with a gasp, then blanched. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
Vanessa’s eyes narrowed. “I could have sworn you were about to make a clean breast of it, Mother. What exactly have you left out?”
“I struck a deal with the eldest Rathban a few years back, but it expired last year because your father foolishly didn’t open my letters to learn about it. So it’s not worth discussing at this point.”
“I disagree. I’m interested in anything to do with the Rathbans, particularly if you had an agreement with them. What sort of deal did you make?”
“I approached Albert to appeal for mercy. It was two years after your father had left. I’d hoped he would consider that long enough. But he’d lost yet another brother since then, so he wasn’t amenable to relinquishing his revenge—not without receiving something in return.”
“He wants more? Wasn’t Father’s exile enough for him?”
“It was but, apparently, he has a dilemma of his own that he believes we can fix for him. He made us an offer,” Kathleen said. “But the time has expired.”
“What did he want in exchange for Father’s freedom?”
“I wrote to him the day your trunks arrived, but he hasn’t answered, so it’s likely too late. The opportunity has been lost. We will say no more—”
“You are incredible,” Vanessa said scathingly. “D’you mistake me for one of the twins? I will go to Rathban m’self to find out what he offered—”
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