Isn't It Past Your Bedtime

by J L Ender

  An Elephant Boy.

  “He’s… stretchy?” Iron Wraith asked, standing by my side. He looked unfazed, other than a little dirt on his pants.

  I shrugged, a motion that may have been lost under the big, metal shoulders of my armor. Elephant Boy looked like he was tensing to jump right at the Bluejay. I had hoped he would run, but it didn’t look like we would be so lucky.

  I decided it was time to try another rocket. I fired one at Elephant Boy as he straightened up, one thick, gray hand still holding onto the pole of the stop sign.

  Where the first one had done a whole, heaping helping of nothing, this one worked so well I felt like I was watching a cartoon. His legs and the arm holding the pole stayed where they were while the rest of his body flew backward. After a moment, his limbs followed with another audible snap. He crashed into a building just on the other side of the apartment.

  Could it be? We’d won?

  “You’re on my turf,” Iron Wraith said to the Bluejay. “Why are you on my turf?”

  I had a more important question. “Did you say ‘snot biscuits’ when you dropped the elephant guy?”

  “It’s not your turf if you’re unconscious,” the Bluejay replied to Iron Wraith in that odd, electronic voice, ignoring me.

  “That’s not how it works,” Iron Wraith said. “And anyway… we had it under control.” It was odd to see Iron Wraith like this. He was relaxed most of the time— not to mention a total space cadet— but something about the Bluejay really seemed to annoy him.

  “Sure you did,” Bluejay replied.

  I did not have the time or the patience for any of this. There had been no sign of Tony since the start of the battle. I looked up. The hole he’d made when he’d been hurled away was directly in front of us, three stories up. Without thinking, I moved toward it. This would have been fine, but I stepped right in between the Bluejay and Iron Wraith. The Bluejay must have taken this as a sign of aggression, because he grabbed my wrist in a grip so tight the metal groaned.

  And, without so much as a “How do you do?” he hurled me into the night sky.

  Chapter 7

  Now, flying through the air isn’t always the best time to think. There’s a lot going on. The air whistles through the breathing holes in your suit, your arms and legs convulse in the wind, and the world moves like it’s about to come up and punch your lights out. That being said, I did have to consider that there were worse ways to die.

  My journey toward becoming a superhero had just started, though. I really didn’t want to die yet. In fact, I couldn’t die; I had a mother and a sister who loved me.

  I flew in an arc over the top of the apartment building Tony had crashed into. I was falling face first, seconds from leaving a nasty hole in the street. I kicked my legs, giving my jet boots a little thrust so that they flipped me right side up. Once I was facing the right direction, I hit full power on the boots. My careening speed lessened until I was hovering a few feet above the street.

  The jet boots didn’t exactly let me fly, but I could hover for short periods and jump further than normal. After eleven seconds of continuous use, they’d cut out for a few minutes to recharge. I used up most of my eleven seconds laughing, whooping, and screaming.

  Not dead.

  Yay.

  I landed with a light thump on the street and glanced back the way I’d come. I could see now that Tony had crashed right through the building. He’d burst through the back wall and landed in the street. He must have hit the ground, skidded to a stop, and smashed against the next building on this side. There was a crater where he’d struck the brick wall of a small grocery store.

  Not good. I examined the street for signs of him. Apartment buildings with tiny front lawns, a few small shops, one battered black car with an orange ticket under the windshield wiper. But no Tony.

  I glanced back at the apartment building. No lights were on, so it was probably abandoned. I couldn’t imagine anyone sleeping through what had just happened. That was good, considering that one of us had just wrecked their way through the walls, but bad because it meant there was no one I could ask about my friend.

  Tony was gone.

  I took another look down the dimly lit street. I thought I saw a dark figure moving around the corner, but it was too small to be Tony. “Hey!” I called out. I raised a hand and began to follow the shadow.

  Shouts from Broadway— the street where I’d seen the bank— distracted me. Better let whoever that is go.

  I heard more shouting, and sounds of…

  Oh no. Not good.

  I raced through a nearby alley to get back. My suspicion was confirmed, making my stomach turn. Iron Wraith and the Bluejay were fighting. The Bluejay rocketed through the air, one fist held forward, about to pummel Iron Wraith. None of his blows landed, though. No matter how fast he went, he couldn't catch the speedster.

  As I watched, Iron Wraith used his superspeed to hurl himself at his rival like a giant silver cannonball. The Bluejay held out both hands, stopping the metal boy in midair with his monstrous strength. Iron Wraith was fast, but he couldn’t hurt the Bluejay. I wasn’t sure if the Bluejay could damage Iron Wraith. Not something I wanted to find out.

  “Hey!” I called. “Cut it out!”

  The Bluejay hurled Iron Wraith toward the ground. The boy’s silver arms flailed as he fell through the air. He turned back to normal flesh and blood for a half second. I caught a brief glimpse of his face, eyes wide with panic, before he returned to metal. So, he couldn’t stay invulnerable all the time. I was right. Hopefully the Bluejay didn’t know.

  Superspeed doesn’t help you much when you’re falling. Iron Wraith landed hard. The Bluejay swooped down after him, intent on finishing the battle. I darted forward, running through my checklist of mostly useless gadgets. I had nothing that could stop a being like the Bluejay. No one did.

  I remembered the way Elephant Boy had been launched away by my rocket. I was pretty sure I hadn’t hurt him, but you didn’t have to hurt someone to move them. I took aim with my rocket launcher, ready to find out whether I could move the Bluejay.

  “Step away from him!” I snarled. Firing a rocket at possibly the strongest being on the planet was, of course, a backup option. First, I’d use that big mouth of mine. “Geez, what is wrong with you two?”

  “I’m the superhero this city needs! The whole city! I’m not following these territory rules anymore!” Bluejay waved his arms angrily as he spoke. He wasn’t calming down. Iron Wraith stood up, stepping out of a two foot crater. My arm wavered. I took a deep breath to steady my aim.

  “You can’t just do what you want!” Iron Wraith called. His voice shook. I was beginning to understand why he handled things the way he did with the Bluejay.

  He was afraid of him.

  “Actually, I can! Lucky for you, I’m a nice guy. I’ll let you leave the city, and I won’t tell anyone I made you do it.” The Bluejay landed right in front of Iron Wraith. He reached a hand out toward the metal superhero.

  And I fired a rocket.

  It smashed into the Bluejay’s chest. I had hoped it would knock him back like it had Elephant Boy, but no. No such luck. It just exploded right there. A fireball burst out over all three of us. For a moment, I couldn’t see anything but dancing orange flames. I inhaled sharply, charred air filling my lungs. The suit needed a better filter. I coughed, then almost laughed at myself, more worried about improving the suit than the problem right in front of me.

  After a moment, the fire died down. A few patches of asphalt burned, otherwise there was no trace of the explosion. Iron Wraith was unharmed, and the Bluejay…

  The Bluejay was fine too, except for one thing. I gaped. I couldn’t believe it. The mask with its yellow beak was burned off, and the blue hood around it had fallen away.

  His face was exposed.

  And he was a she.

  The Bluejay was a girl!

  Chapter 8

  “Sloth poop!” the Bluejay cried in the no
n-electronic voice of a teenage girl. She looked like she was our age, maybe a little older. She had long, blond hair tied up in a tight bun. “Absolute sloth poop!”

  “Um… what?” I asked.

  “I… I didn’t want anyone to know,” she said in a small mumble. She seemed different without her mask, less like a monstrous force of nature and more like the rest of us. I would have sworn she even looked a little smaller, as though revealing her identity had shrunken her somehow.

  “Wow,” Iron Wraith said. “You’re not a dude. Totally thought you were a dude.”

  She stared at the street, fists balled. She muttered to herself, body shaking as she seethed with rage. Then her head snapped up. Anger blazed in green eyes.

  Anger

  That

  Was

  Directed

  At

  ME

  Not good.

  “You’re going to pay for this, you little turkey sniffer!” the Bluejay roared, hurtling toward me.

  I didn’t have time to wonder what a turkey sniffer was. I had to move. I used my boots to leap high into the air, hoping to jump over the superhero. This was a problem because SHE COULD FLY. She grabbed my shin in one hand and tugged. I flared my jet boots, but she was too strong, and I went nowhere.

  NOT GOOD!!

  I never thought I’d be happy to see the Sandman.

  His loud applause rang through the empty street. I searched for the source of the sound.

  There he was, standing near the steps that led up to the bank. He had on the same ridiculous outfit he’d worn last time. Same unshaven peach fuzz, same smug smile.

  Saved by a supervillain, how embarrassing! He’d distracted Bluejay before she could cause me all sorts of harm. Or any sort of harm. I’m not a big fan of being harmed at all, I’ll be honest.

  Elephant Boy stood next to him, looking sullen. An armored form had been thrown over one gray shoulder.

  Tony!

  His helmet was gone. Judging from the way the flexible part of his neck armor was ripped, I had to guess it had been torn away. As far as I could tell, he was unconscious.

  “This has been quite entertaining to watch, let me tell you!” the Sandman said with wicked glee. “Now, I’m running out of time and need to be on my way before the adults come ruin our fun. Who’s ready for a nap?”

  The Bluejay let go of my leg. All three of us turned to face this new threat. I was grateful for the change in focus, even if it might be just as dangerous.

  “You’re not getting away this time,” Bluejay growled. She cracked her neck, then her knuckles, to emphasize her point.

  “Finally, something we can agree on,” Iron Wraith said.

  “You can have the bank,” I said, to gasps of surprise from the Bluejay and Iron Wraith. “Just let Tony go.”

  I had gotten us into this mess. Now I needed to make sure Tony and I got out of here alive. I wanted the Sandman stopped, but there was no sense in anyone getting hurt over the valuables in the bank. And honestly, I had no way of knowing if we could win. If the Sandman succeeded in making Bluejay and Iron Wraith fall asleep again, it would be two against one.

  Two against ME.

  “You’ll stand down if we release him, is that it?” Sandman asked. “How do we know you’ll keep your word?”

  “Because we’re the good guys,” I said, swallowing a lump in my throat. Somebody’s word had to be worth something. It may as well be mine.

  “We don’t take orders from you.” Bluejay’s lip curled in a snarl.

  “Please,” I interrupted. “Let it go. He’s my best friend.” Neither of the superheroes spoke. They were weighing the options. I could only hope they’d come to the same conclusion I had about our chances.

  "Good enough for me!” Sandman cried. “You good, Elephant Dude? Never mind, I don’t actually care! Get the boy on his feet.”

  “It’s Elephant Man,” Elephant Boy said, still sullen. He seemed angry about losing. I’d have been willing to bet he was itching for a chance to take us on again.

  “Whatever.” Sandman rolled his eyes.

  Despite his anger, Elephant Boy followed orders, shifting Tony so that he was right side up. He held the armored boy a few inches above the sidewalk and gave him a good shake. “Wake up, kid!”

  Tony came awake with a cry. Elephant Boy dropped him. I rushed forward as Tony's knees hit the sidewalk, catching him before his head smacked the concrete.

  “It’s ok, buddy. I’ve got you.” I propped Tony up, disentangling his arms from mine.

  He shoved me.

  “What—” I stumbled back. What was that for?

  Tony glared at me.

  “What’s wrong, pal?” I asked.

  “What do you think? ‘We fight?’ We fight? I could have been killed!”

  “Alright, I’ve got a bank to rob,” Sandman sounded more gleeful than ever.

  I kind of wanted to sock him.

  “Come along, Elephant Dude.” He beckoned for his friend to follow, then turned to Tony. “Remember what we talked about, my friend.”

  Tony nodded.

  He’d talked to them? I’d assumed they had found him unconscious. But of course, the Sandman could make anyone he liked fall asleep whenever he liked. I didn’t like the idea of the Sandman getting the chance to speak to Tony. What could they have to talk about?

  “Go ahead,” Sandman said to Elephant Boy. “Bust down the door.”

  “Let’s go.” I started walking, bone tired. I needed time to think all this over and figure out our next move.

  Iron Wraith nodded. “We can go back to my place.”

  “Hold on.” Bluejay held up a hand to halt us. “I’m not done with either of you.”

  “Will you lay off?” I snapped. I was exhausted and getting angry myself. “We won’t tell anyone you’re a girl, if that’s what’s bothering you so much. Though I don’t get why you care.”

  “It’s… I have my reasons!” she said. “But whatever. Fine.” She seemed a little tired herself. Apparently even the mighty Bluejay had limits. She moved as if to fly away.

  “Come with us,” I blurted. This got dropped jaws from Tony and the Bluejay, and a splutter of anger from Iron Wraith. They weren’t the only ones surprised. I resisted the urge to clap a hand over my mouth or take the words back. I knew in the moment it had been the right thing to say.

  “We could use your help,” I went on, ignoring everyone’s reactions. “Maybe we can forget this stupid territorial stuff and work together.” Behind us, I could hear crashing sounds from inside the bank. An alarm pierced the quiet night, reminding me of how badly we’d messed up.

  “I work alone.” Bluejay leapt into the air. Despite the wing-like sleeves, she flew like a torpedo, with her arms at her sides. A moment later, she was gone.

  “I… can I keep this armor?” Tony tapped a metal forearm with a gloved hand.

  “Um, yeah, I guess.” Iron Wraith said.

  “Ok, thanks. I think I’ll find my own way home,” he replied.

  “You’ll do what?” I asked.

  Tony didn’t answer right away. I locked eyes with him, but didn’t say anything further.

  “I want to be alone for a bit.” Tony’s eyes shifted to the side.

  “What did he say to you?” I fought to keep my voice level.

  “None of your business.” Tony’s clipped tone shocked me. I had never heard him snap at anyone before, let alone me.

  “Tony, I’m sorry. We should have run when we had the chance.”

  “You know what, Fox? Save it. You want to get yourself killed, that’s your business. Leave me out of it.” He stomped off. I just stood there, watching him leave.

  “You want me to chase after him?” Iron Wraith pointed toward Tony’s retreating silhouette.

  “No,” I replied. “Let him go.” I could only hope Tony would cool off soon. Maybe he was just sore about getting beaten. If I’d been sidelined so easily I would have been pretty embarrassed myself.

/>   I still didn’t understand the Sandman’s motives, either. He didn’t seem to care about money, or even gold. He mostly stole silver jewelry, along with some brass odds and ends… But why? And where else would he strike? We would need a better plan for next time.

  Next time, I wouldn’t let anyone get hurt.