Isn't It Past Your Bedtime

by J L Ender

  “You ready for this?” Iron Wraith asked.

  I stifled a yawn and nodded. The movement felt strange in the armor, like I could almost tip over just moving my head too much.

  Iron Wraith stared at me for a long minute, seeming to search my face. “Man, that is creepy.”

  There was no face on the helmet, just a smooth, blank surface. A tiny camera fed to a screen inside the helmet. That was how I saw. I breathed through tiny holes in the chin.

  “This feels… weird,” Tony said, stepping up next to me. He was wearing the smallest of the three suits. Being taller, I had taken the next one up.

  “Where to?” I asked. Fun as this was, I was tired and eager to get down to what we were here for: catching a bad guy.

  “Just up Broadway,” Wraith said. “Follow me.” He disappeared as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

  I huffed out a sigh.

  “Really?” Tony crossed his arms.

  “How are we supposed to follow you when you whoosh off?” I called after Iron Wraith's vanishing blur.

  Another yawn. I didn’t try to fight this one. I’d taken Katrina home, then made her and my mom dinner. I’d tried to sleep for a few hours, but I’d been too excited. That made two days with almost no sleep. Hopefully crime would take tomorrow night off.

  “Sorry guys,” Iron Wraith said, reappearing a moment later. “Forgot. Used to working alone.”

  “You can scout ahead,” I said. “You might find the next robbery faster than we can.”

  “True,” he replied. “You guys move kinda slow with that armor on.”

  “You’ve got the list?” I asked.

  Iron Wraith began fishing in the pockets of his shorts. “Uh, I lost it. No wait!” He triumphantly pulled a scrap of paper from the pocket of his hoodie. I’d had the idea to make a list of every jewelry store and bank in the city that hadn’t been hit yet.

  “It took a long time to make that list…” I let my voice trail off on purpose. I didn’t want to tell the superhero how to do his job, but I also didn’t want to spend another hour squinting at addresses on Tony’s phone.

  We were walking toward Gold National Bank, the place we thought the Sandman most likely to strike next. Iron Wraith would patrol the others, then come get us if one of the others wound up being the target. Tony and I would stand guard here and protect Gold National.

  “You’ll be ok on your own for a few?” Wraith asked. He didn’t sound worried. In fact, he wasn’t even looking at us. He seemed to be studying a billboard for the new Space Marines movie.

  “Yep,” I said.

  “How soon can you be, like, back here?” Tony asked. “If this is the place?”

  “As fast as you guys can text me, I guess.”

  “Why would we text?” I asked. “If someone is robbing the bank right in front of us, I don’t think we’ll have time to text.” Tony had forgotten his cell phone, so communication would be between Iron Wraith and me. Calling wouldn’t be as fast as I’d like, but we didn’t have radios or anything.

  “Good point. You could Insta me a picture. Alright, bye guys.” And he was gone.

  “Um… bye,” Tony said. “I guess.”

  “Later, then,” I muttered, unsure what I had just heard.

  I glanced at Tony. “What’s Insta?”

  “You don’t know about Instagram?” he asked in an incredulous voice. Apparently, I was supposed to know about Instagram.

  I rolled my eyes, an expression lost beneath the helmet of my suit.

  “You take pictures and post them online!” Tony added when I didn't reply.

  “You know I don't have that kind of phone,” I reminded him. I just had my Grandma’s old flip phone. All the buttons were huge so old people could see the numbers. I was only supposed to use it for emergencies, but I was pretty confident this would count.

  “Yeah, but still. I feel like you must be living under a rock sometimes.”

  I shrugged and we set out. The street was quiet. There were still a few people around, mostly adults. They gave us long looks, but didn’t say anything. The world was getting a little weirder every day. Two boys dressed in armor walking down the street wasn’t so strange anymore. Before long, we left the brick street behind for a broad road made of the usual stuff.

  The bank wasn’t hard to find. It was a huge building made of white stone. Pillars lined a flight of stairs that led up to a revolving door. Everything about the bank was big. Even the revolving doors looked bigger than normal. It was, according to our Google search, one of the most popular banks in the city. It also had a lot of safety deposit boxes, which I thought might be Sandman’s target.

  “Now what?” Tony asked, when we had tromped our way to the front of the bank. Our plan had been thrown together in a short amount of time. We hadn’t covered some of the specifics. Like what we were actually going to do while we waited. Or what we would do if and when Sandman showed up. “Fight him” was about as far as we’d gotten.

  “Now… we practice for soccer tryouts,” I said. I had already decided, though, that my time was best spent studying the nearby buildings. There were shops to the right and left of the bank. Brick apartment buildings stood on the other side of the street.

  “Whoa, really?” Tony asked.

  “Um… no. I was kidding.” I laughed. “We just have to wait.” We both liked to kick the ball around, but I hadn’t even decided whether I wanted to try out. If someone with super-strength kicked the ball too hard, it could take my foot off.

  “Oh.” He sounded a little disappointed. “I just…” Tony loved soccer, a lot more than I did. His mom definitely wasn’t letting him try out, given the danger. Mine was letting me decide.

  “I know… it’s lame. I wish we could play next year.”

  “It’s not fair!” Tony yelled with sudden anger. “All these stupid people with superpowers are coming around, ruining everything. I hate it. I wish I just—”

  I heard something in the distance. Tony kept on talking for a moment. I wasn’t quite sure what I’d heard. A sort of distant boom. The sound of trouble coming our way, I was certain of that.

  “Hey, bud. Pay attention,” I called to Tony, cutting off his ranting.

  Another boom resounded through the streets, louder this time.

  Tony stopped. “What was that?”

  “I’m going to go ahead and guess we’re about to find out,” I replied. I realized I should call Iron Wraith. I reached for my phone.

  No.

  I’d put it in the back pocket of my jeans before putting on the armor! And I couldn’t reach it without removing the armor. Not an option just then.

  “We got a problem,” I began. “I was an idiot and—”

  A massive creature came flying down from one of the apartment buildings. It landed not far from where we stood, coming down onto the street so hard it cracked the asphalt.

  “Is that… what is that?” Tony asked.

  I studied the monstrous thing. It looked kind of like a man… but the legs were enormous, like thick tree trunks. Odder still, the beast seemed to be growing bigger as it straightened from its crouch. The ears of the monster grew out of proportion, spreading like sails on a boat.

  “Is he… he’s turning into a giant elephant man, isn’t he?” Tony sounded well past nervous, like he was headed for full blown panic. “What do we do?”

  I shook my head, trying to think of a plan or a way out. “Do you… want to run?” I asked. I didn’t want to be a wuss, but we had come here to stop a guy who could make people fall asleep, not to confront a giant monster. Worse, we couldn’t get in touch with the guy who had actual superpowers.

  “Yep,” he replied, but he made no move right away. Tony was an anxious guy, but he wasn’t a coward. He wouldn’t run unless I did.

  The elephant-man straightened, seeming to reach his full height at last. He stood nearly twenty feet head to toe, almost as tall as a real elephant standing on its hind legs. The face of the beast looked li
ke an elephant, complete with a trunk and tusks. His gray, heavily muscled arms ended in meaty, human-like hands.

  “Hey there,” he called down to us in a thick, syrupy voice. “Who wants a hug?” He threw his arms open wide and let out an evil laugh.

  “Are we running?” Tony asked. “Come on, man. We need to go!”

  “Yep, better run, little men!” the elephant-man called down, laughing again. He took a step forward and the ground shook.

  Run?

  This was my first time out as a “superhero,” and I was going to run?

  “No,” I growled. “We fight.”

  Chapter 6

  I raised my arm, prepared to fire a rocket if the elephant-man took one more step. I went through a quick mental list of all the abilities the suit granted.

  • One laser (mounted in the right arm of the suit)

  • One rocket launcher (left arm)

  • Jet boots (the boots, duh)

  • Indestructible armor (In theory; still need to be careful!)

  “I’m not sure this is a good idea!” Tony said. I ignored him. We couldn’t run now. I was just getting started. If we ran now, I might never stop.

  The elephant-man took another step. I fired a rocket against his face. A tiny little missile the size of my thumb flew forth and exploded harmlessly. The giant beast laughed again.

  “You… might be right,” I admitted.

  I felt a click in my arm as another rocket slotted into place. The suit could hold six at a time. It was able to generate more, but it took an hour to make each rocket.

  The elephant-man reached forward and grabbed at my friend. Tony tried to flee, but the elephant got a hand wrapped around one of his legs. Even in armor, they were toothpicks compared to the size of that meaty hand. The elephant gave him a few good shakes, then hurled him away. Tony flew like a missile into an apartment building, leaving a big, circular hole where he punched through the brick. His scream echoed briefly through the streets.

  “Tony!” I cried.

  With a growl, I raised my right arm to fire again. Red bursts of light shot out. This time, the elephant took notice. “Hey!” he cried. “That stings!” He reached for me. “Turn it OFF, tiny man!”

  I activated my jet boots and shot above his fist as his fingers closed in. I never let up on the laser, firing it into his face. It didn’t seem to cause as much damage as I would have expected from a laser, but it was irritating him enough that he was distracted now. He was waving his hands in front of his face, trying to protect himself from the barrage.

  Distracted myself, I kept looking between the elephant-man and the hole Tony had made. I was hoping to see movement in there, some sign that my friend was ok. I landed and took off running as the elephant-man swept a hand across the street, trying again to grab at me. He was fast. If I moved too slow, he would get me.

  Frustrated, I finally decided to just cry out. “IRON WRAITH! We need you!”

  Nothing. I sighed and leaped out of the elephant-man’s way again and fired my laser a few more times to keep him from getting too close.

  A silver cannonball suddenly struck the side of the elephant-man. He let out a whuff as the air left his lungs. He stumbled a little, but did not fall. Iron Wraith was at my side a moment later.

  “That’s not Sandman,” he said. “Why did you call me?”

  “Are you being serious? Giant elephant-man?” I asked, moving above said elephant-man’s outstretched arm again with a jet-powered leap.

  “He does seem kind of tough,” Iron Wraith admitted. He zipped this way and that as the huge creature tried to grab at him. The elephant-man was nowhere near fast enough, providing another distraction for the increasingly frustrated elephant. He trumpeted in rage, his trunk stretching out as he bellowed.

  “I need to check on Tony!” I glanced at the hole three stories up for signs of him.

  Iron Wraith leapt again, then curled up into a ball and slammed into the elephant-man again. This strike seemed to have less effect than the first. The elephant-man barely grunted. He’d been able to brace himself. “This guy… is tough.” Iron Wraith pointed at me. “I think I need your help.”

  “But—”

  “The faster we take him down, the better!” Iron Wraith said, zipping between the elephant-man’s legs and shouting to get his attention away from me. I fired my laser right into his rear, but it didn’t seem to bother him as much as zapping him in the face did.

  I couldn’t argue with that. I was certain that if the elephant-man wasn’t here to rob the bank himself, he was a distraction so someone else could do it. Someone like the Sandman.

  Iron Wraith appeared at my side. “I’ve got an idea!” he said. “Give me a second.”

  And then he was gone.

  “I hate it when you do that!” I yelled.

  “Do what?” he asked, already back. He had a coil of rope around his shoulder. “Here. Could you hold this for a sec?” He handed me one end of the rope, then zipped away. The rope went tight as he uncoiled it, moving in a circle around the elephant-man’s massive legs. He kept running, keeping a hand on the rope as he ran in circles.

  “What are you doing down there?!” the elephant-man thundered.

  “Ok,” Iron Wraith called to me. “You can let go now!”

  I did, and Iron Wraith caught the loose end of the rope as he ran. He kept it at about the height of the elephant-man’s knees. The rope turned silver, transformed by the Iron Wraith’s power into metal. I saw at last what the superhero was doing.

  A regular rope might have been broken by the elephant-man’s strength. A metal band though? That would make the giant fall for sure.

  “Hey!” the elephant-man called. “Tell me what you’re doing!” He tried to move away from the rope, stepping backward. Panic lit up his enormous, black eyes. He was going down.

  Everything happened so fast from there, I never had time to warn Iron Wraith. The superhero let the rope drop to run away, but the elephant-man was kicking his arms out as he fell. One of them swept right into Iron Wraith’s path. The boy went skidding and skipping down the street, smashing chunks out of the asphalt each time he came down.

  I cried out, unable to help my friend before he was a long way down the street. The elephant-man came down at almost the same moment. The ground shook like an earthquake. I nearly lost my own footing. For the second time, I was the last one standing after a battle. I didn’t think I would be as lucky this time, though. The elephant-man was down, but not defeated. When I looked back, he was already trying to heave himself into a sitting position.

  Not good.

  He stood, once more making the ground shake. “Looks like it’s just you and me again,” he boomed. He let out a nasty laugh. “Time to finish this. Got a bank to rob!”

  SO NOT GOOD.

  I wasn’t sure what I could do now. What options were left?

  • Laser: Kinda useless

  • Rocket Launcher: Completely Useless

  • Jet Boots: Mostly Useless

  • Armor: Still untested, but probably useless

  “Iron Wraith has made a mess of things again, I see,” a new voice said. A deep voice changed by an electronic device.

  The Bluejay was here!

  He flew in, landing beside me hard enough to crack the street. The road in front of the bank was really going to need some repairs after tonight.

  “Do you have any superpowers?” the Bluejay asked me. “If not, you should probably run.” I felt a pang of guilt at the words. Tony— I had never been able to check on him. We should have run. If he was hurt, it would be my fault. And if he was dead…

  I swallowed hard. That would be on me, too. I pushed the guilt to the back of my mind. I would have to process my mistakes later.

  “You gonna talk him to death?” I asked, nodding toward the giant monster rumbling toward us. Maybe not the best way to greet one of the mightiest beings on the planet. I didn’t want to be rude, but I knew that the faster we beat the elephant-
man the better.

  “That how you thank all your rescuers?” he asked.

  “Not in the habit of being rescued,” I replied.

  “Whatever.” The Bluejay leaped away.