War Pigs

by D V Wolfe

  A half-hour later, Luke returned to the waiting area and I waved to Parker as we headed out.

  “So,” I said. “Did you mention Parker to Steve or whoever?”

  “Stephens,” Luke said with a smile as he unlocked the car. “Yeah, and he’s taking her to lunch.”

  I pulled off my jacket and climbed in. As we pulled away from the cop shop, I had the slightest tingling feeling that we were forgetting something.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “Burke being possessed really had me thinking that the rest of you Feds were probably hiding other demons in your ranks.” I paused and looked at Luke. “Did everyone drink the coffee?”

  Luke nodded. “Everyone. Coffee, donuts, and law enforcement are a cliche for a reason.”

  I sighed. “Ok, so today was a bust.”

  “No it wasn’t,” Luke said. “We were able to clear ten suspects. That’s not a bust.”

  “But we’re no closer to knowing where the demon is,” I said. I leaned my head back against the seat and closed my eyes. “I shouldn’t have killed Burke. I should have tortured him for information.”

  “He would have killed your...Noah,” Luke said. I opened an eye and looked at him.

  “My Noah?” I asked.

  Luke looked uncomfortable. “Sorry, I didn’t know what to call him. Partner? Significant Other? Husband? Boyfriend?” I sat up straighter in my seat to look at Luke. “Hey, I’m not judging!” He added quickly.

  “What, do you think I’m some kind of mountain lion?” I asked.

  Luke paused and then looked at me. “Do you mean ‘cougar’?”

  “Whichever one means an older woman banging a younger man,” I said.

  “Again, not judging,” Luke said quickly.

  “Ok,” I said, “since you’re moving in with us…”

  “Under protest,” Luke muttered.

  “I should probably fill you in on Noah.” I paused to think through what I was going to tell him. I would have to edit out a few of the details, but I couldn’t think of any major downfall from giving him a little information. “Noah was a hitchhiker I picked up a couple of months ago. He was on the run, uh, a runaway,” I quickly corrected. I didn’t know Luke well enough to know if I should be worried about him turning Noah in. “But he’s eighteen so I guess he’s an adult, so whatever the version of ‘runaway’ there is for adults.” I didn’t wait for Luke to answer. “He’s been traveling around with me ever since. He’s just a kid who needed a ride.”

  “Why did he stay with you?” Luke asked.

  “Been asking myself that for the last two months,” I said with a grin. “Truth is, I don’t know that he’s found anywhere else he’d rather be.”

  “Then with you, chasing down demons?” Luke asked. “I mean, I can see the appeal.” Sarcasm. Now I was on familiar footing.

  “I know, right, the hours, the pay, the benefits.”

  “So why do you do this, Bane?” Luke asked. “I mean, surely it wasn’t just some creepy guidance counselor who sat you down and told you in his sickly sweet breath that was always too close to your face, that this was what you should do with your life.”

  I cut my eyes to him. “Is that what happened to you?”

  “We’re not talking about me,” Luke said.

  I sighed. “Really long story for me and we have better stuff to…”

  Luke slammed on the brakes and I threw out my hands to keep my head from hitting the dashboard.

  “You ok?” He asked quickly.

  “Fine,” I said. I looked out through the windshield. “What the hell?”

  There were people in the street in front of us. There were five of them. All men, all pissed, throwing punches and beating on each other.

  “Stay here,” Luke said, but I already had my door open. I didn’t have any more salt or holy water on me. Perfect. I wasted both barrels on a squad room of innocents and now I didn’t have anything non-lethal to deal with these dinguses if they were possessed. Always plan ahead, Bane, and save shit for a demony day. Story of my life.

  I had the sword on my back, but I was really hoping I didn’t have to run anyone else through.

  “Do you have cuffs?” I asked Luke as we started towards the men.

  “Yeah,” Luke said, “but this is the local patrol’s jurisdiction. I can’t make arrests here.”

  “That’s not what I was thinking,” I said. “I’m assuming fights breaking out in the streets aren’t normal. Parker said there seems to be more hostility in town and I’m just making a wild assumption that it might be tied to the demon I’m hunting, so I need to do a demon lice check on these fine upstanding citizens.” I sounded more enthusiastic than I was. I was going to have to do a visual spot check and I was going to get my ass kicked doing it. I started moving forward.

  “I have to call this in,” Luke said behind me.

  “I’ll be quick,” I said. “I hope.”

  The men were practically frothing at the mouth, teeth clenched as they punched each other and tried to throw each other around. They were fairly evenly matched, but being that there was an odd number, one of the match-ups was always two guys beating on one. If there had been a Benny Hill saxophone solo in the background, it would have been funny, but there was too much blood, and the angry yells were too frequent to make it humorous. I surveyed the scene and decided to check the guy that had just gotten knocked to the ground first. The two who had thrown him down were starting to fight each other. I bent over him and folded his ear forward. I had a split second view of the unblemished skin behind it, and then my vision was impaired by a right hook to the temple. I fell sideways and I heard my suit pants rip as I slid to my knees. Crap. I really hated shopping. I still had to check his other ear and his eyes to see if he was possessed. He couldn’t make this easy. I lunged forward, just as he started rolling to his feet and punched him in the face. A sucker punch, right to the eye. He fell back and I rolled onto him, bending his other ear forward. No pentagon. I got my face a few inches from his and pried his, now swelling eye, open with my fingers. He groaned in pain and grabbed me around the neck with both hands. His eyes were dilated in rage, but they weren’t red. This was not a perfect test, but it would have to do. I pulled back from him, trying to get his hands off me. He came up to a sitting position, using my neck for leverage. I shifted and kneed him in the groin and his grip loosened. He fell back and I scrambled off him. Four to go. As soon as I stood up, I was grabbed from behind by a set of hands on each arm.

  “Fucking pig,” One of the men said. “This isn’t your business.” I turned to look at him. He was young and he looked stupid, so I assumed he came across that insult in his studies.

  “I’m not a cop,” I said. “I’m a doctor.” I didn’t know why I said it. I was about to get my face pounded into the pavement regardless and I just threw out whatever came to me.

  “A doctor,” the other one said. He was older and wearing khakis and a polo shirt that was ripped and blood-stained from a broken nose. “What beef do you have with Carl?”

  I assumed Carl was the one laying on the ground. I groped blindly for some kind of explanation. “Carl has a disease.” The two men holding me looked at each other. “It’s highly contagious. He shouldn’t be out in public.”

  “Shit!” The young one said. “He came at me swinging and I had to defend myself. Am I going to get it too?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “If you’ll permit me, I can check you for the early symptoms.”

  “Me too,” khakis guy said. “Carl came after me too.”

  “No he didn’t Stanley,” the younger guy snapped. “I saw you come out of Lyle’s behind him and you sucker-punched him in the back. That’s why he broke your nose.”

  The older man lunged at the younger, releasing me.

  “Uh oh,” I yelled so they both could hear me. “This is an early symptom.”

  The two men stilled but glared at each other. Khakis looked back at me. “What kind of disease is this? Fighting i
s a symptom?”

  “It’s a...brain disease,” I said. “It makes your central cortex overreact,” I yanked harder at the explanation I was pulling out of my ass, “and makes its victims overly aggressive.”

  “What...what are the other symptoms?” the younger guy asked.

  “Well, if you’ll hold still,” I said, “I can check for them.” They stood shoulder to shoulder. Khakis glared at the young guy and took a step away from him. I thought about telling them what I needed to do, but if these were demons in Empty Houses, they would catch on before I had a chance to look. If they were demons, I just hoped they didn’t recognize me until I’d finished my spot checks on them. I grabbed both of Khaki’s ears and bent them forward, checking the skin behind them.

  “What the hell?” He asked, pulling back and glaring at me.

  “Do you want me to check for the disease or not?” I snapped. He was still again and I looked on both sides. No pentagon. The other two guys still fighting knocked sideways into us and knocked Khakis down. I moved onto the younger guy and checked his ears, trying to ignore the misdirected kicks that were brushing against my leg. Younger guy didn’t have the brand behind his ears either. I cupped my hands around his eyes and stared into them.

  “What the fuck is this about?” he muttered. Normal eyes, no red.

  “Changes in the eyes can be a symptom and...the skin behind the ears gets discolored,” I said.

  “Shit,” Younger guy said.

  I was about to answer him when someone kidney-punched me from behind and I knocked into Younger guy, head-butting him on our way to the ground.

  He let out a roar like a wounded bear and I was having a hard time seeing straight. I could taste blood in my mouth where I’d bit my tongue. I didn’t have long to reflect on this because someone was pulling me up by the back of my shirt. Carl must have gotten his second wind.

  “Get out of here!” Luke yelled in my ear. I turned to see Carl get an arm around Luke’s neck and pull him into a headlock.

  “Two more to check,” I yelled to him. This was insane. People were gathering on the sidewalks like spectators at an Old West saloon fight, except they had cell phones out, pointed at us like cameras. Khakis was beating on a big guy with a mustache and Younger guy had just gotten to his feet when a man with a long blond braid landed a jab right on his chin and knocked him back down. I weighed my options and decided to jump on the back of the big guy beating on Khakis. He was more preoccupied and might not notice me at first. I took a flying leap as they stumbled past me and managed to crawl halfway up his back. He realized that there was suddenly more weight his legs were supporting and he paused, but I had enough time to wrap my legs around his waist and grab his ears with both hands before he started jerking around, trying to throw me off. I gripped his ears hard, pulling them out away from his head and he howled in pain. No marks behind them. Not an Empty House. Just a pissed off dude that might be possessed. He dropped Khakis and reached over his shoulder to grab me by the back of my shirt. I heard the fabric rip and he bent forward, flipping me over him.

  Perfect. I needed to check his eyes anyway. I could have done without the bruised ribs and air knocked out of me that came along with my reposition, but I suppose I couldn’t have everything. I was lying on my back, looking up at him when he raised a foot as if he was going to start boot-stomping my face into the pavement. I managed to roll to one side as his foot came down, but I was still trying to get oxygen to my extremities so I could get back to my feet. Carl sailed across my vision, his foot catching me in the face as he leaped on Big guy. I could feel my cheek starting to swell, but Carl’s diversion had given me a few seconds to crawl out of their way. Younger guy was now wailing on the braid guy and I knew it was cheap but I grabbed the guy’s braid as he went by me and jerked his head back. I grabbed one ear and checked. Nothing. I was trying to reach the other ear when the guy donkey kicked me in the knee and knocked my feet out from under me. Fair enough. I shouldn’t have grabbed his hair. He was now purely focused on me. This was helpful, but not the best of situations. He was on top of me, fist cocked back for a punch. I focused on his eyes, knowing I probably wouldn’t be able to see much once that punch landed. I brought up my arms in a feeble attempt to block it. No red. I was starting to doubt this test. If it wasn’t the demon, why the hell were these guys losing their shit? One more place to check. I snatched at his other ear and bent it forward. The blow landed but I held onto his ear.

  “Jesus Christ, what the fuck is it with you and ears?!” The guy screamed. The punch had hit me just below my left eye and now I felt that cheek swelling. There was more blood in my mouth now, having bit my tongue a second time when he hit me. I punched at his crotch which was exposed since he was straddling me and he let out a groan and tilted to one side. Taking a page out of Carl’s book, I used leverage on his ear to pull myself up. Nothing behind that ear either.

  Braid guy was now going into the fetal position as I scrambled out from under him. I could hear sirens in the distance and the men around us were still fighting. Luke was getting the crap kicked out of him by Big guy, Carl was beating on Khakis now and Young guy was on his way towards us. I reached down and grabbed Braid Guy under the armpits, hoping I might be able to use him as a human shield. I spit blood on the ground and I was staggering. Probably best to avoid any more blows if I could. Young Guy was staggering too and he knocked into Braid Guy and me. I stumbled back, let go of Braid Guy and they both fell to the ground. I moved before either of them could suck back in enough air to go for round seven or eight or whatever it was at this point.

  Luke was doing his best to block Big Guy’s blows, but Big Guy had about a foot and a hundred pounds on him, so it wasn’t really a fair fight. I moved behind Big Guy, thinking I could maybe get a good ball kick between his legs. It’s cheap, I know, but I didn’t have time to put together anything more elaborate to get Luke out of this fight. Big Guy must have anticipated me because he turned, grabbing Luke by the throat and putting Luke between himself and me. Luke’s jacket had been torn off at some point and his holstered gun was right in front of me. I grabbed it and yanked. The snap on the nylon safety strap gave and I moved my finger near the trigger searching for the safety catch. I flipped it off and shot Big Guy in the foot. His angry scream made all the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. I got a decent look at the wild rage in his eyes. Brown, not red. He stumbled backward and fell, bringing his foot up to hold it. Luke snatched the gun out of my hand.

  “Car,” I spat. Luckily, Luke hadn’t lost enough oxygen flow to his brain to be confused. We sprinted back to the Crown Vic and drove half on the sidewalk to get by the men still fighting. We reached the end of the block just as I saw the flash of lights out the back window.

  “Did you get what you needed?” Luke asked, breathless.

  I nodded. “Yeah, I think. I mean, it would have been more conclusive with salt and holy water, but I did what I could.”

  “And?” Luke asked.

  I shook my head. “No demons.”

  “You know, if I hadn’t seen the whole thing with Burke last night, I’d think you were some kind of con artist or a nut job.”

  “Well, aren’t you glad you’re wrong,” I said.

  “Not really.” We were quiet for a moment as we headed for the Holiday Inn to grab the rest of his stuff. We pulled into the lot and Luke shook his head. “You shot someone. With my gun.”

  “You’re welcome,” I said. “He was strangling you, remember?”

  “Still,” Luke said. He pulled into a parking spot. “Who uses a gun in a fistfight?’

  “The winner,” I said.

  It took Luke under fifteen minutes to clear everything out of his room and jog back to the car with a single hanging bag. He tossed it into the trunk and turned to look at me behind Lucy’s wheel.

  “Let me guess,” I said. “All suits.”

  Luke sighed, “Your point?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know, you just don’t strike
me as a ‘suits’ kind of guy.”

  “I’m not,” he said, “but the job requires it.”

  “What’s the job going to think about this little escapade?” I asked.

  Luke shook his head. “I don’t know. Nothing good.”

  “How did the meeting end?” I asked.

  “The rest of my team are heading back to D.C. today. The detectives have a suspected homicide to look into…”

  “Homicide?” I asked.

  He nodded. “Yeah, some hikers found a body, well, what’s left of a body. Bones really, in the woods. They thought it was the remains of a campfire. Turned out to be a corpse.”

  “Do they have any idea who it was?” I asked. Death was always something that happened around demons. You could set your watch by it. Granted it happened without demons there too, but when you already knew there was a predator in the pond, fishbones became evidence of the underlying fact. I just hoped it wasn’t Noah’s mother.

  “A man,” Luke shrugged. “They have a few ideas, but they didn’t share much with a room full of Feds. They’re already pretty butt-hurt that we’re here. Like they’re pissed that they had to call in someone with a bigger stick to look into one of their own citizens.”

  I nodded, feeling a burst of relief that it wasn’t Noah’s mother. “We should probably go make a statement,” Luke said. “They know we were there. I called it in.”

  I sighed. “Boy scouts. You and Noah.”

  “Eagle Scout,” Luke said. “And so what? Those guys weren’t going to stop until they killed each other.” He shook his head. “What the hell possessed them to go nuts like that?”

  “Well,” I said, “apparently not hell possessing them, unless my tests are faulty, which they might be.”

  Luke cut his eyes to me. “They might be at the station by now, being processed if you want to give it another go.”

  “We have to make a pitstop,” I said. “Follow me.” We parked back at Rosewood and Luke came over to Lucy. “I didn’t want to leave my truck at the Holiday Inn,” I said. I climbed out and jumped up into Lucy’s bed. I pulled out the backpack sprayer that still had the remaining holy water in the tank. I unscrewed the lid and held the flask from my suit jacket out to Luke. “I need you to stick this flask down in that water and fill it up.”