A Mother's Spirit

by Anne Bennett

  And yet as the summer passed, Joe sensed that Gloria was not truly happy, that her gaiety was forced. Eventually the frivolity and freedom would end, and when that happened, he imagined Gloria would probably have chosen one boy over all the others. That was the one she would marry, and the day she did that would be the day that he would leave the Brannigans’ household. He couldn’t have stayed and watched her married to another.

  Summer gave way to autumn and then winter, and the dresses were swapped for thick skirts in bright colours, lurid jumpers and multicoloured scarves, which the girls wore with their ‘up-to-the-minute’ checked and baggy coats.

  Joe watched Gloria anxiously. She seemed more dejected than ever. The frenetic pace of her social life had slowed somewhat as the colder weather settled over the city, but when she didn’t pick up in the early spring either, and was still listless and eating less than a bird, Brian and Norah were all for calling out the doctor to her, though Gloria wouldn’t hear of it.

  And then just a week away from her nineteenth birthday she went to her room even earlier than usual. Joe had watched her moving her dinner around her plate and fully understood her parents’ concern. He decided that he would seek her out at the first opportunity and try to get to the bottom of what was wrong with her. So engrossed was he that he didn’t notice that Gloria’s door was unlatched as he passed her room on the way to his own further down the corridor.

  He’d hung his jacket over a chair and had removed his tie and loosened his top button when the knock came to the door and he was stunned on opening it to see Gloria there.

  ‘Are you all right, Miss Gloria?’

  Gloria didn’t answer. Instead she said, ‘Can I come in?’

  It was the last thing that Joe expected her to say, and he looked down the corridor to see if there was anyone about who might have overheard her, before replying, ‘I don’t think that’s a very good idea.’

  ‘I need to talk with you privately and I can’t think of any other place where we can do it,’ Gloria said. ‘Please let me in?’

  Joe was in a quandary, but he couldn’t leave Gloria standing there and so he opened the door and she walked past him and sat on the bed. He sat on the dressing-table chair opposite her, and for a second or two they stared at one another.

  Gloria looked terrible, Joe thought, and with his heart in his boots he asked tentatively, ‘Are you in trouble of some sort?’

  Gloria shook her head. ‘No, it’s nothing like that,’ she said, and Joe let his breath out in a sigh of relief.

  He was totally shocked when Gloria went on, ‘It’s just … Joe, what do you really think of me?’

  ‘What tomfool question is that?’ Joe got to his feet. ‘I really think it would be better to return to your own room now, Miss Gloria.’

  ‘Hear me out,’ Gloria pleaded. ‘Please sit back down, Joe, and let me finish.’

  Joe sat down heavily, aware that the hairs on the back of his neck were prickling with apprehension and his palms felt clammy. He said almost gruffly, ‘Miss Gloria, why are you asking me this question?’

  ‘Because I need to know,’ Gloria said. ‘I don’t want you to think of whether it is right or wrong and whether it’s your place to say anything about it. I just want to hear what you really think of me from your own lips.’

  Joe couldn’t trust himself to speak and eventually, when the silence had stretched out between them, Gloria went on, ‘All right then. I guess it is up to me to bare my soul.’

  ‘Please, Miss Gloria,’ Joe pleaded, ‘don’t say anything that you are going to regret.’

  ‘Will you shut up, Joe?’ Gloria retorted. ‘I must tell you. I think that I have fallen in love with you.’

  Joe just stared at her. He felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach by a mule. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. The words he never imagined would be said to him had been said, and by the young woman he loved with all his heart and soul. Yet he had to reply. ‘Miss Gloria, don’t be cross at what I am about to tell you. You are young still, and the young often get crushes on people. You will probably fall in love many times before you are ready to settle down.’

  Gloria leaped off the bed and stamped her foot. ‘Don’t you dare patronise me, Joe Sullivan!’ she cried. ‘I have loved you all my life, since that day on the docks when you opened the carriage door and asked me if I was all right.’

  ‘Miss Gloria, you were a child then.’

  ‘I know that,’ Gloria snapped. ‘And then I loved you as a child, but that love has changed as I have grown. Now I love you like a woman, and for God’s sake will you stop calling me Miss Gloria?’

  Joe just stared at her without a word and when the silence got uncomfortable Gloria sighed and said sadly, ‘All right then. You can’t blame yourself for not being able to love me in return. At least now I know where I stand.’

  Joe felt as if he was breaking up inside at seeing Gloria so upset. As she reached the door, he cried, ‘Wait, please …’

  Gloria turned. ‘What for? More humiliation?’

  ‘No,’ Joe cried. ‘Oh God, I have no wish to humiliate you or hurt you in any way, for you are dearer to me than anyone, and that is why I cannot take what you offer. A fortnight ago I was thirty-six and you aren’t quite nineteen yet.’

  ‘I don’t care how old you are.’

  ‘You must care. I care. And I am also employed by your father. I am a working man, Mi— Gloria.’

  ‘And none the worse for that,’ Gloria said. ‘But none of this – your age or what you do for employment – has any effect on one’s love for another.’

  ‘Gloria, I cannot return your feelings because I will not allow myself to,’ Joe said. ‘You know many young men, who move in the same circles as yourself, who speak the same language. Any of those—’

  ‘All of those young men were measured against you and found wanting,’ Gloria said. ‘I was hoping that being in their company would help me to get over the feelings I had for you, but in fact seeing them made me value you more.’

  Joe felt as though all his limbs had turned to jelly, but there was a pain around his heart.

  Gloria, watching his face, suddenly said in a voice that shook slightly, ‘You said that I am dearer to you than anyone. D’you think you could ever come to love me?’

  Joe looked at the face of his beloved, at the tears now seeping from her eyes and trickling down her cheeks, and knew she deserved the truth, even if he was to go no further than this. ‘I love you with all my being,’ he said gently, ‘and have done for a long time. I love you so much it hurts.’

  ‘Then, Joe, if we love each other, together we can conquer the world.’

  Joe smiled. ‘It would be nice to think so. But there are numerous obstacles in our path. Your parents will never agree to any sort of match between us. They will have a much better marriage planned for their only child. In fact, they might send me packing for even considering it.’

  ‘No,’ Gloria declared. ‘I won’t let them. No one will part us. I will speak to my parents – not now, for they have probably retired for the night, but certainly in the morning.’

  Joe nodded, but he was certain that they wouldn’t stand for any sort of union between their daughter and Brian’s secretary, but he didn’t say this, for he couldn’t bear to dim the light that was setting Gloria’s face alight. When she asked, ‘Will you kiss me, Joe?’ he could no more have stopped his arms going around her than he could have stopped the sun from shining, but he knew that for him it was the end of the road for his career with Brian, which had once seemed so promising.

  The next day Gloria faced her parents over the breakfast table and told them point-bank that she and Joe had discovered that they loved each other.

  Brian was both astounded and furious. Banging his fist on the table, he said, ‘Well, my dear, you will have to unlove Joe, for I am afraid I will not have it. By God, the barefaced nerve of it amazes me. I have taken that man in, given him a leg up, thought of him as my rig
ht-hand man, and this is how he repays me – taking advantage of my own daughter. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.’

  ‘It wasn’t like that, Daddy. It wasn’t at all,’ cried Gloria. ‘You have no right to say any of this. I had to almost drag the words from Joe, yet I know that I have always loved him. And don’t say that I loved him as a child alone. He said that too and I gave him the same answer as I give you: that as I have grown and matured, so has the love I have for him. Does my happiness mean nothing to you? Why d’you think I have been so miserable for months?’

  ‘Gloria, you really have no right to speak so to your father,’ Norah said. ‘As for not caring about your happiness, you know your father and I have tried to make you happy since the day you were born.’

  ‘Then let me marry Joe!’ Gloria demanded.

  Brian rubbed his chin while he looked at his defiant daughter. ‘It’s such a surprise,’ he said, ‘the last thing I had expected, to tell you the truth, and judging by your behaviour of the past months.’

  Gloria sighed. ‘I went about with those boys to try and erase thoughts of Joe from my mind.’ She shook her head. ‘It didn’t work, though, and in fact it only made me love him more.’

  ‘And you say you truly love this man?’

  ‘Oh, yes, Daddy, with all my heart and soul. I ache with love for him. He feels the same, though he would say nothing at first because he is so much older than me and employed by you.’

  ‘What do you make of it, my dear?’ Brian asked Norah, who was looking at Gloria with a slight frown puckering her brow.

  She often thought afterwards that had Gloria not been so wild for almost a year, not in the least circumspect or prudent as became a young lady, her reaction might have been different, for all she liked and admired Joe greatly. She feared that Gloria’s antics with hosts of young men had laid her wide open to ridicule and scorn, and possibly damaged her reputation. If that had happened she knew the doors to any form of respectable society would be closed to her and an advantageous marriage out of the question. Far better surely to have her safely and respectably married before more damage was done. However, marriage was a big commitment and not one to be entered into lightly.

  ‘You are still very young, my dear,’ she said to her daughter. ‘Are you sure this is what you want?’

  ‘Absolutely sure,’ Gloria said determinedly. ‘In fact, if I don’t have Joe then I will not have anyone.’

  ‘Do you not mind, though, that Joe is many years older than you?’ Brian asked.

  ‘No,’ Gloria replied. ‘Whatever age he is, Joe Sullivan is the man I love and the man I want to marry.’

  Norah thought of the often brash and rootless young men that had been Gloria’s companions of late. They seemed to have no aim in life other than the pursuit of pleasure. She doubted that any one of them had ever done a day’s work in his empty life. She would have hated her daughter to have married one of those people.

  Joe was different. He was the sort of man that could be relied upon, one who knew what hard work was and thrived on it. It didn’t matter a jot to her about the age difference. In fact, she saw it as an advantage. Joe had his feet firmly on the ground and she felt Gloria would be much safer with someone like that.

  ‘Well, at least we can’t say we don’t know the man,’ Brian said. ‘We have had years of getting to know him.’ He gazed at the daughter he loved so very much and felt a lump form in his throat as he realised that another man was now more important in her life than he was, and so his voice was husky with emotion when he said, ‘If this is really what you want, my love, then you have my blessing.’ He gazed at his wife, saw her smiling and relieved face, and added, ‘And I can see your mother approves too. Now where is the man in question hiding away?’

  ‘In his room,’ Gloria said, leaping up from her chair. ‘I’ll tell him now.’

  In the cold light of morning, Joe had gone over the scene of the previous evening in his bedroom and regretted it bitterly for he had no doubt that Brian would send him packing now and he had only himself to blame. If he didn’t love Gloria so very much, he could have parried her questions. Too late now. With a heavy heart he dragged his case from the wardrobe and began putting his clothes in it while he waited for the summons from Brian.

  He had almost finished when Gloria burst through the door. He could hardly believe his ears when she told him that her parents had both given their approval for the match. He wanted to whoop with sheer unadulterated joy, for it seemed to be filling his whole body, but he contented himself with catching hold of Gloria and holding her close.

  When their lips met it was as if a furnace had been lit inside each of them. The kiss the night before was one that Joe thought might have to last him a lifetime, but this kiss was like a promise of the joys to come, and when they eventually broke apart, they both groaned with desire.

  Joe released her before he forgot himself altogether, and holding out his hand he said, ‘Come. I must see your parents immediately.’ Hand in hand, they left the room and ran down the stairs.

  ‘Well, well, well,’ Brian said when he saw Joe at the door. ‘Fine turn-up for the book this is. The minute my back is turned you are making love to my daughter.’

  Joe smiled. ‘Not quite, sir. But I do love her very much and would like your permission to marry her.’ ‘And you have it, Joe,’ Brian said, going forward to shake him by the hand. ‘And I hope you know what you are taking on. She can be the very devil when she doesn’t get her own way.’

  ‘You really can’t tell me anything about Gloria that I don’t know, sir,’ Joe said. ‘And there is nothing about her that I do not love.’

  Gloria gazed at Joe and thought her heart would burst with happiness.

  Everyone in the house seemed stunned by the news, and not everyone was that pleased either.

  Kate said, ‘There is bettering oneself and taking advantage, and that’s what the young pup has done, setting himself up to marry that pretty young thing and him near old enough to be her father. Mark my words, it never works trying to mix chalk and cheese.’

  Joe knew what they thought but there was nothing he could do about it, and anyway he was taken aback by the speed at which everything was decided. Gloria was now sporting a platinum engagement ring with a huge diamond in the centre of it, and Brian declared there was no need to delay the wedding.

  ‘The autumn I always think is a nice time of year,’ he said.

  ‘It is, sir,’ Joe agreed, ‘and though I am immensely grateful that you are taking over the entire cost of the wedding, I need a little time to save up enough for a deposit on some suitable place for the two of us to live in.’

  ‘What are you talking about, man?’ Brian said with a laugh. ‘You will live here, naturally.’

  That hadn’t been what Joe had anticipated at all. He imagined he and Gloria in their own little house or apartment somewhere, but when he said this, everyone seemed to think it was all rather amusing.

  ‘Darling, I wouldn’t have the least idea how to keep house,’ Gloria said. ‘I have never had to do it, and as for cooking anything, well, I have never done that either. I honestly don’t know how to boil an egg.’

  ‘But did you not have any sort of cookery lessons at school?’ Joe asked.

  ‘Well, no,’ Gloria said. ‘Why would we? And I have never washed dishes, or really cleaned anything, and wouldn’t know how to start dealing with the laundry. We have servants to do those types of things.’

  Joe realised then that after his marriage everything would go on as it always had done, and the only thing that would alter after he put the ring on Gloria’s finger was that she would share his bed.

  Three rooms were being amalgamated to make a suite for Joe and Gloria, and when Joe was shown the plans for his approval he was staggered at the size of it. He knew he wouldn’t be sorry to leave the room that Brian had assigned to him when he had moved into the house. It had a carpeted floor, a blue fluffy rug by the large and comfortable bed that
matched the drapes at the windows, a wardrobe, chest and dressing table in light wood, and a bathroom for his use off to the side. It bore no resemblance at all to his spartan cellar where he had felt so contented, and yet he had never felt at home in the luxurious and comfortable room.

  The bridal suite was at least being planned specifically for Gloria and himself, and he was sure he would be happier there with Gloria by his side. In fact, if he wasn’t then he was a hard man to please

  ‘What is this room to the side?’ he asked Brian.

  ‘That is your dressing room,’ Brian said. ‘Will I have a bed installed in there too?’

  ‘What on earth for, sir?’ Joe asked. ‘The bed you tell me you have ordered for Gloria and me would accommodate half a dozen with ease. What use would we make of another bed?’

  ‘There are times when a woman might like to sleep alone,’ Brian told him. ‘Or when you are home late perhaps, or have to get up early and don’t wish to disturb. Believe me, a separate bed is essential.’

  All of it was out of Joe’s understanding. In the world he came from, when a man and woman married, they bought a double bed and slept in it together thereafter night after night. They made love on it, babies were born on it, small children sometimes shared it and the marriage bed was often the most important purchase ever made.

  He thought of the huge and beautiful bed Brian had ordered. Was it possible that Gloria would lie encased in that magnificent bed all alone, while he lay in another bed, the other side of the wall?

  Brian saw the confusion on Joe’s face. ‘A dressing room and a separate bed were among the first things I insisted on when I married Norah,’ he said. ‘And she has been as grateful as I have been at times. I know that this is all new to you, but trust me in this.’

  ‘Yes, sir,’ Joe said, knowing he had no alternative.

  FIVE

  The news that he was engaged to Gloria Brannigan, Joe found opened doors to him, even if many people did view him with suspicion, doubting his intentions were really honourable. One of those doors was to the club that Brian attended.