Sin

by Torrie Robles

  “Well, yes. I don’t get it.”

  “And you shouldn’t. You’re an outsider. There’s a lot of things that happen within the club, within the family, that many don’t know or understand.” She throws the apron over my body. “The club is still dangerous. Even though they have cleaned up their ways, the business they’re in is still dangerous.”

  “How can running a garage be so dangerous that you can’t let people know you’re married?”

  “Savannah, I know you’re not that naive to think Fury’s their only means of income. How do you think the club can survive on building bikes?” She starts brushing the color through my hair. “This isn’t a hobby or a past time. Living the life of the club means you live the life of the club. The guys aren’t weekend riders, being in an MC is the only thing a lot of them know. So now think, do you see anyone of them being able to survive on the few bike builds? Maybe once they hit the main stream, but not while the only people who they build for are the citizens of this town.”

  I never thought about it. Plus, I didn’t know much about the industry to begin with. I might be educated in business, but I’m clueless when it comes to motorcycles. I know that Bianca helps when needed. Another lady, Queenie, an old lady to one of the older members helps Sin with the books. Maybe I can dig in deeper when it comes to the shop and help him grow the brand.

  “I don’t really know what to think. I haven’t really allowed myself to think about much past Bianca’s house. I’ve been decompressing, I guess you can say.”

  “Cut told me about your situation. No woman, no person should have to go through what you went through. Especially when all we ever want is to be loved and accepted. It doesn’t seem that you’ve been either, and I’m sorry about that.”

  “Thank you.”

  I watch Lily do her thing and make small talk along the way. “I’m sure Bianca told you about Sienna?”

  “Only that she was murdered.”

  “Well, I’m going to tell you a story, Savannah, one that I don’t need you repeating, but I think you should know.” I nod. “It all goes back to when Devin Sr. and Bianca were young. Bianca, as you can tell because she still is beautiful, was a pure beauty back in the day. She was young, fresh faced and beautiful.”

  “I know; I’ve seen the pictures.”

  “Every man wanted her to be his, and Devin Sr. was the lucky one who caught her eye. It didn’t sit too well for some. Especially for Louie Montez, he tried to lay claim to her, but she wouldn’t have it. Once she met Devin Sr., there was no going back. Louie was a member of a rival gang, a few towns east of here, closer to the Texas border. He kept infringing on Devil’s Fury territory, trying to get Bianca to change her mind. At that time, the club was new, the members were few, but it didn’t matter. The lines had been drawn and Louie kept pushing it. Their differences went from Bianca to many more over the years. They were rivals in all sense of the word. It had been a constant fight between the two clubs over the years. Louie was never right in the head, and his hatred for Devin Sr. and the club grew.” She pulls the apron from my body. “Let’s go wash you up.”

  I follow her out front to the washing stations, spotting Bianca in the chair of her niece. She gives me a small smile and looks to Lily who nods. “Lay back, sweetie so I can see what I’m working with.” I lay back in the basin. “The older Louie got the crazier things got around him. I can’t believe he was allowed to continue to run his MC.”

  “Is he still alive?”

  “Yes.” She runs her fingers through my hair as the warm water relaxes me. “When Sienna was born, it was like looking at a mini version of Bianca. Even when she was just a girl, you could tell she was going to grow to be a beautiful woman, just like her mama.” I hummed in agreement. “Yeah so.” She says quietly. “Louie Sr. had Sienna kidnapped from the parking lot of the mall...she was with her best friend, Tessa and they were bombarded by a group of guys. From what Tessa said, Sienna never backed down. She was a true Sinclair, showing no fear in a situation that was really the beginning of the end of her life.” She shakes her head and takes a deep breath. “After years, twenty plus, that man was still obsessed with Bianca. Louie had married a few times, had kids, had affairs, but he always wanted Bianca. It was Devin’s mission in life to keep his wife out of the hands of that man. He never realized that Louie’s obsession moved to Sienna. It was sick. What I heard he did to her. What he had his club do to her. She wasn’t in the right state for viewing at her funeral.”

  “Holy shit.”

  “Yeah, the guys, some say they were prospects, they knew their target. They attacked Tessa physically. Kicked her, crushed her eye socket, and broke a few ribs. They beat her until she finally passed out all while Sienna was held there and watched. Tessa didn’t remember any of it at the time. I’m not sure if she ever recovered her memory, she was long gone after what happened to both her and Sienna. This was all from witnesses. People too weak to stop the attack, but were okay with just standing there viewing it. The Diablo’s had a lot of power back then. They were feared, but that day changed everything for them. They were no longer feared, they were looked down upon. Cast out of the MC community. That MC hasn’t been the same since.”

  “How could they have been cast out?”

  “I guess even life has its limits. There are certain things you don’t do. Messing with the children or the old ladies of your rival is one of them. Word hit the street as to what Louis had done. No one wanted any part of them after that. That was the main reason why Louie Sr. went to ground. It was decided in order to save the club; he had to have no association with the Diablo’s.”

  “And you were around for all of it?”

  “Yeah, it happened right when Cut and I got together. Maybe our first couple of weeks. I didn’t think we would survive. Watching him lose his sister and his father was heart breaking, and that’s putting it mildly. Sin, well, you have no idea what he went through. He was laid up, still recovering from his injuries. He had been back in the states for a few months when everything went down. He was out of his mind when he found out his sister had been taken. They had her for twenty-four hours; they tortured, beat, and raped her continuously. That young girl, she was torn from back to front with the brutal invasions of her body. We still don’t know how many attacked her, there was no medical evidence, every single one of them wore protection, but from what the ME said, there were many.” My stomach twists at her words.

  My eyes fill with tears as I lay there listening about the death of Sienna. It was brutal, more so than I can ever imagine. My heart physically hurt from the news. I picture the girl in the photos I’ve studied over the past two weeks and I can’t even imagine that same girl, the one so full of life, being tortured, beaten, and raped over and over. Hearing her screams in agony as she’s being ripped in two by man after man. Her bright eyes going dull in defeat.

  Lily sits me up, wrapping a towel around my head. “I was standing in the club house when news broke of her death. The sound of agony came from Bianca first, her screaming as she fell to the ground, clapping her hands over her ears as she rocked back and forth calling to her daughter. But Sin’s reaction, my God, his reaction broke my heart, his cries for his sister. I’ve never heard anything like it. He was unable to do anything but lay there, pounding his fists into his head, repeatedly, screaming Sienna’s name. Helpless in more ways than one. Devin Sr. roared in pain. He destroyed the clubhouse, smashing everything in his path. He cursed Louie, swearing vengeance. He cursed God for taking his angel from him. We all stood there, the club house was full, waiting on word of Sienna and we all watched as the family broke.”

  Tears roll down my face as I clench the arms of the chair. My stomach feels sick by the news of what Bianca and her family had experienced. My throat dry and scratchy. I look up to see Bianca watching me, sadness in her eyes. Trina is gently consoling her aunt.

  “Cut, he left, took off. No one knew where he went.” I jumped at the sound of Lily’s voice. “He di
dn’t return for days. He didn’t even know his father was killed until after he returned. It was several days after. The club mourned without Cut.”

  “How did they find out about Sienna? Who told them?”

  “That sicko sent pictures to Devin Sr. bragging about how good she was, so much better than her mother could ever be. That’s how Devin knew where his little girl was, through text. Devin Sr. stormed the warehouse and was ambushed, killed while he was taking Sienna down from the hooks that were piercing her body. Hound, Hawk’s dad was killed too. They threw his body at the gates of the compound. That was the end of so much for this family. There was so much destruction, so much horror. Death. That’s the reason why you didn’t know about me. Louie is still out there, and Cut needs to make sure I’m safe, so no one outside of the clubs knows I’m his wife. It’s for my safety.”

  “My God.” I was at a loss for words.

  Those are the last words about what had happen to Sienna and the family. There isn’t more to say, no more explanation needed. My heart hurt for these people, so much has been taken from them. So much suffering at the hands of one man, and now I’m seeing and understanding why Sin is the way he is, towards me, towards life.

  “Lily?” I ask as I stand to leave. “What happened to Sin while he was in the military?”

  “Well, Savannah, that’s a story that he needs to tell. I only told you Sienna’s so you might get the chance to understand him a little better. But you can’t know him by someone else’s stories. You have to get to know the man, by his own story.”

  “Holy shit, is that Savannah?” I turn my head at Hawk’s voice and see him staring, blatantly towards my mom’s house. Following Hawk’s line of sight, my mouth drops open and my body stills. The woman shuts the door to my mom’s car and turns my way. Shit, it is Savannah. My knees weaken and a sudden buzz flows through my body.

  “Yep, it’s her alright.” Hawk chuckles. I stand there motionless as I watch Hawk saunter over to her. He takes her hand and kisses the backside. She throws her head back and laughs at his actions. The fact that he’s touching her makes me want to pounce and rip his hands from hers ordering him to never touch her again.

  My mom told me she was taking Savannah out. She said it was time to get her among the living, as she put it. She needed to get some sunshine on her ass and to socialize with someone other than herself. She took her to the salon, where I know she met Lily. I never thought she would come back looking so different. So much better than the girl who I brought into my life a few weeks ago. Her once bleached blonde hair is now a reddish brown. Where before it was all one length, it’s now layered, flowing down her back. Her face is framed by shorter wispier hairs. I can only imagine how her eyes must look against the chestnut of her hair. The uniform of club clothes has been replaced by a short summery looking dress. Her feet are clad with a cork type sandal.

  Seeing her now, smiling and laughing is what I want for her. But there’s more to my desire, something that I can’t allow myself to acknowledge. I won’t deny the fact that I'm a man and Savannah is a beautiful woman, more beautiful than I’ve ever seen. I swallow at the understandings of my thoughts, what my attraction to her means. I picture what she would look like naked, bare before me. Her hair falling around her pert breasts. I wonder if her skin is as smooth as it looks. If it would feel like silk beneath my touch. I can almost feel her wrapped around my cock, coming, climaxing. The feel of her letting go would be like walking through paradise. A place where I know I would never be welcome, a place I can never step. I shake the thoughts from my head. I’m tired of living the what-ifs. Of thinking of the what-it-could-be, because there will never be something to me and Savannah, friendship is the only thing I’m willing to offer her. It’s the only thing I can give and knowing that I can’t give her more is starting to piss me off.

  I can only imagine what took place when Savannah found out that Cut was married and the reasoning behind the fact that we keep his wife hidden. I want to ask; to know what goes on in Savannah’s mind when she finds things out about me, my life and the way we live it, but I can’t. I can’t form a connection with her or allow myself to care for her more than what I already do. If I do, then there’s a chance I might lose her and I don’t want her lost, I want her found. I want her to find herself, a life she’s happy with. I know that’s not a possibility for me. My life brings nothing but destruction, and I refuse to destroy hers.

  “Hey, Sin.” she calls out from across the yard. I lift my chin in acknowledgement. “Are you gonna come over here, or are you gonna stand there and stare all day?” She smiles bright, but I ignore it, raising my hand, swatting away her comment. I chastise myself, knowing I wouldn’t mind staring at her all day.

  I continue to watch the exchange between Hawk and Savannah. My mother smiles at them and shakes her head as she heads to the house. I know he’s spent some time with her, because he’s told me. He says there isn’t anything there between them, he’s only being friendly. I know it’s shouldn't matter who she spends time with, as long as it isn’t me. I keep my distance even though we do talk. I was the one she told her dreams to, her hopes for the future and what she hopes to become.

  *****

  I can see her staring at me through the window of the shop that leads out to the garage. I’ve been working on the latest project for a client and the entire time I’ve been tweaking and making sure the body’s line is smooth, she’s been in the shop, pretending that she’s doing something, but I know she’s been watching me. My mom asked me to let her come into the shop for a little bit each day. Savannah needed to get out and interact with people because being stuck in a house all day wasn’t healthy. She’s too bright to let her intelligence wilt away. I couldn’t argue with my mom, so I asked Savannah yesterday if she wouldn’t mind helping out. Check inventory, look into the cash flow. I had pretty much everything handled, but with her there, I would be able to focus more on designing.

  I can feel the burning of her eyes on my back. I turn to look at her and she quickly darts her eyes away. “Hey, sugar?”

  “Yeah.” She peeks her head into the garage.

  “You wanna help me out here?”

  “Oh, alright.”

  Today she’s wearing a short pair of shorts and the club sleeveless shirt. The shirt is a little small on her and her tits are big enough that it pulls tight, showing off the nice rack that she’s been blessed with. Her hair is thrown up in a messy knot. She’s sporting some black chucks and no socks. But it’s the shorts that get me. They hit right below her ass and when she bends over, they ride up even higher. I may have asked her to bend over to grab a few things for me from the lower shelves so I can check her out. I know, I’m a total ass, but I’m a guy, a guy who hasn’t been getting any pussy lately so I’m gonna do what I need to do to satisfy my urge

  “Take a seat right there.” I point to the stool next to me. As soon as she sits, she begins to rock back and forth, pushing her feet from her heels to her toes. “Are you enjoying your shop time?” I ask.

  “Yeah, it helps to pass the time.” She tucks her hair behind her ear. She does that when she’s nervous.

  “Are you nervous, sugar?”

  “No, of course not. Why would I be?” She tries to tuck an imaginary strand of hair behind her ear again.

  “No reason.” I shake my head and can’t help but grin. Taking a pair of snips, I begin to cut the sheet metal of the bike.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Well, this customer wants the body to be taken up over the wheel.” I point to the area, “This is the fender. Normally I would bend and form the metal on a machine, but this was an afterthought, so I wanted to see what I could do by hand first. If it doesn’t work out, then I’ll go back to the usual way of doing things.”

  “You really enjoy doing this don’t you?”

  “I do. Creating and designing are a few of the things that bring me joy. I wanted to be doing this for the military, but it didn’t work out.” I
look over to her and see that she’s paying attention. “What are your dreams, Savannah?”

  “I’m not sure really. I want a life that I can be proud of. I want to be my own person. Maybe make a name for myself somehow.”

  “Those dreams aren’t unrealistic.” I tug at the metal. “Can you hand me those pliers?” I point to the blue handled pliers that are by her feet. She holds them out and I take them, brushing her hand in the process. Our eyes lock when we touch. She gives me a small smile, pulling away and tucking that same wayward strand behind her ear again.

  “What are your dreams?” She asks me.

  “Not everyone has dreams, Savannah. Not everyone has the liberty to have them.” I pull at the metal, working the sharp edge, bending it. I hear the rolling of the stool as she comes closer to me. She puts her hand on my jean-clad thigh.

  “Not everyone may have the liberty, but everyone deserves them.” The warm air from her breath on my neck causes chills to roll over my body.

  I place my hand on top of hers. She turns hers over and pushes her fingers through mine, intertwining them. There's grease under my nails, dirt that has worked its way through the rough calluses of my hands. Hers are clean with polished nails and smooth, soft skin. The contrast between the two is so remarkable. My rough hands, hands of a man who has let down so many who have depended on him. Hands, which are so strong but can also, be so weak. Her hands, hands of a woman who still has dreams. She can accomplish everything she wants with those hands.

  My gaze settles on her and I feel as though I’m really seeing her for the first time. She has sprinkles of soft freckles along the bridge of her nose. There’s a small scar on the top of her lip. I want to ask her what happened, but I’m afraid of her answer. The bruising along her face is fading; the swelling gone. Her eyes are a clear blue; they remind me of a summer day. She squeezes my hand bringing me back to the present. I swallow, my mouth overly dry. “What’s your dream, Savannah?” I repeat.