Scratch the Surface (Wolf Within)

by Amy Lee Burgess

  Murphy also wore jeans, only his were Armani, paired with a cashmere crew neck sweater of a burnished copper color. The wind had mussed his hair but he’d combed it in the car before we got out. Even though we were both casually dressed, I think he pulled it off with way more style and elegance than I managed. For one thing, he never shopped at Target. From Houston to Boston, he’d pushed the bright red cart around the various stores for me and turned up his nose at every men’s shirt or sweater I’d held up for his inspection. He wouldn’t even buy underwear there, the snob.

  Allerton grasped Murphy’s hand and gave his forearm a meaningful squeeze. It was a handshake that expressed more than simply business. It was also a gesture of amity and fondness.

  For me he had a hug, but I was stiff in his embrace. He gave my back a gentle pat before releasing me.

  “Sit down.” He waved at the chairs around the table and resumed his original seat.

  Murphy and I sat next to each other, facing the fireplace. Its radiating heat was warm on the side of my face as I turned my head to look at Allerton.

  “I’ve arranged a dinner tonight here with Riverglow,” he informed us. My stomach knotted at the thought of having to eat with them. I’d seen them nearly three months ago at the Great Gathering in Paris, but they had snubbed me.

  I still burned with humiliation at the way Callie’s, Vaughn’s and Peter’s eyes had glazed over and they’d pretended not to see me when I’d called out to them in the reception area at the chateau. It had been an instinctive greeting, born of past familiarity. For a second the two intervening years had been wiped away and it had been like seeing family.

  I’d expected to be snubbed by Jonathan and Nora, but not the others. I don’t know why, because they’d been explicitly clear after the accident that they’d blamed me, but somehow I’d hoped that they’d had second thoughts, that maybe when they saw me they’d think family too.

  “There have been some changes in the pack membership and leadership since you’ve left them, Constance.” Allerton’s blue eyes met mine across the gleaming conference table. When I refused to be drawn, he smiled a little and continued as if he’d never paused to allow me an opportunity to participate.

  “The main reason they went to the Great Gathering was to find some new blood for the pack. Nora had a stillborn son last year and Callie’s had several miscarriages since she, Vaughn and Peter took Alpha status. It was the same thing the first time they were Alpha, when you and Grey joined the pack. You remember. It was after one particularly bad miscarriage that the triad stepped aside as Alpha. You and Grey were approached but I recall being told you turned it down.”

  Beside me, Murphy shifted in his chair so he could stare at me. Passing up an opportunity to be Alpha was probably not something he’d ever contemplated before. In big packs such as Mac Tire, the position was highly coveted and campaigned for because not every female would get the chance before her fertility cycle ceased. Bigger packs tended to have shorter Alpha timeframes—five years was the usual span. However, smaller packs such as Riverglow tended to rotate the Alpha status. It wasn’t unheard of for duos and triads to have multiple opportunities. Grey had turned down Alpha status because of Jonathan’s jealousy. He’d known the position would eventually come to us and we were young, in our early twenties, and had plenty of fertility time left.

  Pack women could only give birth once. Live or stillborn, if they carried a pregnancy to the end, they would become barren after the birth. Twins were slightly more common than singles.

  While triads could be made up of two men and one female, most of them consisted of two women and one man in order to give two women the opportunity to bear a child at the same time. Only Alphas could have children. All the other women in the pack took birth control or had to have abortions.

  I think it was both evolution’s and our own cultural way to avoid detection by the Others. Our population stayed small and underground. Secret.

  Again Councilor Allerton waited for me to say something. I admit I felt a surge of sympathy for both Nora and Callie. Callie was over forty, near the end of her childbearing years and Nora, who was three years older than me, was now barren.

  They were at risk, of course, of losing their bond mates, who still had the chance to bond with a fertile female and become Alpha so they could procreate. A lot of us created such strong connections with our bond mates, very few left in search of a chance to be Alpha and to have a child. The ambitious ones would, but normally love conquered ambition.

  I knew Peter would stick with Callie. He loved her with a steady and deep adoration. I wasn’t sure about Vaughn. I was never quite sure of his feelings for her. He and Peter were close as brothers, but I wondered if that was enough to keep him bonded.

  Jonathan, the bastard, I could see him ditching Nora in a millisecond if someone better came along. He was such a coward, he wouldn’t do it until he was sure. I’d bet he’d spent the better part of the Great Gathering looking for just such an opportunity. The fact that he was still a member of Riverglow proved he’d failed. That afforded me some small satisfaction.

  Again, after he was sure I was declining his invitation to make a comment, Allerton continued. “They were able to convince a pair from Mac Tire to leave that pack and join this one with the understanding they’d be Alpha when it was quite sure Callie was past her childbearing window.”

  “Mac Tire?” Murphy stirred in his chair. “Paddy never mentioned that.”

  Allerton held up a hand. His nails were professionally manicured and he wore an expensive Cartier wristwatch with a chased silver band around his wrist. I could hear it ticking if I tried hard enough.

  “They’re from the English branch.”

  For some reason Murphy’s eyes darkened and he went very still. I was confused because, while I expected Murphy to know the members of his pack in Ireland, I didn’t think his personal knowledge would extend all around the UK. Mac Tire was a huge pack, but each country had separate Alphas who presumably knew each other and interacted, but I hadn’t thought it trickled down to the entire membership.

  “I believe you know them. Him at least,” said Allerton, his expression bland enough, but something in his voice made me come to alert.

  Murphy’s gaze was flat and hostile.

  “Colin Hunter and Devon Talbot.”

  Murphy reacted to the names like gasoline poured on fire. “Oh hell no,” he snarled, pushing back his chair. “Oh, fucking hell no. You could’ve told me this on the phone, Allerton, leaving me the opportunity to decline your invitation. Now I’m just gonna have to friggin’ walk out.”

  I leaped to my feet too, grateful for an opportunity to escape.

  Murphy saw me and snapped, “You sit back down. I’ll be back for you tomorrow, Stanzie.”

  He’d promised to stay with me. He told me he would be with me when I had to confront Grandfather Tobias and listen to what he wanted to tell me. Now he was halfway out the damn door all because of some man named Colin Hunter, and I hadn’t the slightest clue who he was or why Murphy despised him so much. Hatred was all over his face and in the barely controlled violence of his movements. He was one step away from breaking something. He would have attacked Allerton if he’d dared, but he was putting distance between them instead.

  I’d never seen Murphy so furious. The tone of voice he’d used on me was unfamiliar too. He’d never spoken to me so angrily, as if I didn’t matter, as if I were just one more obstacle in his way out the door.

  I had nowhere to go if Murphy walked out. I didn’t even have my purse or any money. All of that was in the trunk of the car with our luggage.

  The door slammed behind Murphy then five seconds later the front door slammed too. Absurdly, I wondered whether he’d taken his coat. It was bitter cold outside.

  I stood there like an idiot, clutching the back of my chair. I struggled against bursting into cheated tears of frustration and betrayal. The weight of my bond pendant was heavy around my throat. The peridot
and pearl hung suspended from a long chain I’d tucked under the edges of the turtleneck sweater.

  The peridot was my birthstone; the pearl Murphy’s. Together they symbolized our bond and were the Pack’s version of a wedding ring.

  Murphy had one too. He wore it beneath his sweater and never took it off unless we shifted.

  “I’m sorry, Constance. I knew he’d be upset, but I’d hoped he’d handle it better than this. Please sit down.” Allerton’s tone was gentle and kind, and I responded to it obediently.

  The conference room door opened and I spun around in my chair, ridiculously hoping it was Murphy. Instead, it was Kathy Manning with coffee and cookies.

  “Is something the matter?” She hesitated at the door, her expression uncertain, but moved forward when Allerton gestured her inside.

  “It’s all right, Kathy. How’s dinner coming along?”

  “Under control.” She flashed him an attractive grin. “I’m making a seafood casserole. You might want to look at the wine we’ve got on hand and choose some. Oh, and for dessert, your favorite. Creme brulee.”

  “That sounds delicious.” Allerton reached for the carafe of coffee so he could fill the china cups. He filled all three and invited Kathy to sit with us.

  She unhesitatingly pulled out the chair opposite mine and regarded me with bright curiosity. “You’ve come up in the world, haven’t you?” She sounded as if she were personally responsible for it. I suppose she’d had an indirect hand in it, helping pave the way for me to be expelled from Riverglow. “Isn’t it exciting to be an Advisor? I was an Advisor for seven years back in my twenties. Gave it up when Matt and I were named Alpha. Then I had my son, served as Alpha for a few years, and the next thing I knew, I was invited to join the New England Regional Council. I imagine you’re in line for some of the same.” She took an appreciative sip of the coffee. She drank it black with no sugar. “Quite a difference from being the bottom of Riverglow, I would think. And now you belong to Mac Tire. Well done, Stanzie.”

  I felt as if I were a character in an absurdist play and all communication was slowly being rendered meaningless while everything I thought I knew crumbled and became distorted and weird.

  I remembered how this woman had judged me. She’d sat in silent disapproval as she listened to my pack condemn me. The entire Regional Council of New England had voted against me and it was only Jason Allerton, with the power of his personality and the weight of the Great Council behind him, who had been able to turn the tide and change their votes.

  Now she sat across from me, her head tilted like a bird’s, and grinned at me as she congratulated me for becoming an Advisor and a member of Mac Tire. It was as if she’d always been on my side of things and believed in me, when she absolutely had not.

  “It’s all because of Councilor Allerton,” I managed to choke out. I wanted some sugar but was afraid to reach for it. In this strange world of contradictions and about-faces, I thought my arm might fall off or something equally bizarre.

  She tilted her head to the side and smiled at me as if I were a well-behaved dog. “I believe you must have done something to attract his attention. You don’t get to be an Advisor simply because of happenstance.”

  I wanted to argue, because that’s exactly how I’d done it, but instead I watched Allerton pour cream into his cup and when he offered the pitcher to me, I took it, fully expecting to drop it or have it turn into a rubber chicken or something else totally unexpected.

  It remained a pitcher of cream firmly in my grasp and I managed to pour some into my cup.

  “I believed you were drunk the night of the accident, Stanzie. I was wrong. Please accept my apologies. This whole new chapter has thrown me for a loop, I’m afraid. I’ve had to reconstruct many of my previous beliefs and I hope that if I’m ever involved in a case like yours again, I will have more compassion as well as discernment.” Kathy Manning’s tone was sweet and sincere. She couldn’t reach across the wide expanse of the table to touch me, but she settled for giving me a very warm smile. “Your pack was so vehement and I thought they were the best judges of your character. I tended to believe you at first, but the more they talked, the less I trusted my initial judgment. That’s not a good trait for a Councilor to nurture, I’m afraid. Forgive me?”

  Nervously, I wiped the backs of my fingers across my mouth. My lips were dry and chapped from the wind and shifting the night before. I’d forgotten both lip balm and lipstick. I did have on eye makeup. I seemed to always remember that, but sometimes I forgot my lips.

  “You did what you thought was best,” I allowed. I was feeling more and more unreal and agitated the more I realized how alone I was without Murphy.

  “That’s very generous of you. In your place, I’d want to spit in my coffee,” said Kathy Manning, as she winked at me. She swallowed the rest of the liquid in her cup and rose gracefully to her feet. “I’d better see to that casserole. Do you like Brussels sprouts? I have this wonderful recipe for Brussels sprouts Parisian that I hope everyone will like. Normally, you say Brussels sprouts and everyone’s first reaction is to grimace and pass the platter without taking any, but I swear if you try these, Stanzie, you will like them.”

  “Do you need any help?” I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t want to sit here at this enormous table and stare at Allerton for the rest of the afternoon. That was for sure.

  A pleased smile lit up her face. “No, but thank you so much for the offer. I’ve got a certain way I like to do things in the kitchen and it’s best if I do it alone. Helpers tend to get in my way and then I feel awful for snapping at them. You enjoy your coffee with Councilor Allerton. Have a cookie—they’re homemade. Sugar cookies, a grandmother’s secret recipe.” She gave us both a rueful smile. “I’m not quite a grandmother yet, but I managed to cadge the secret out of one. She was happy to pass it along, actually. Made her feel useful and wanted, I suspect.”

  The topic of grandmothers and grandfathers was a sore one with me and although she knew what was going on in the Pack, apparently she still managed to be able to separate the good and innocent grandmothers and grandfathers from the corrupt ones.

  The mere thought of them made me shudder. I didn’t trust any of them anymore.

  She left the door open on her way out and I heard her cheerfully humming to herself in the kitchen. It was only a few feet away from the conference room in the back of the house.

  Allerton helped himself to a sugar cookie in the shape of a mitten. It was glazed with green frosting and dotted with red M and Ms. It looked damned good but I refused to give in and eat one.

  He consumed the green mitten and half of a red stocking before he said, “Aren’t you going to ask me why Liam has such an issue with Colin Hunter?” His voice was mild and completely casual which made me doubly determined not to ask. If Murphy wanted me to know, he’d tell me. I didn’t need to hear the gossip behind his back, even if it came from a Councilor.

  “No.” I took a sip of my coffee. I grimaced because I’d forgotten the sugar and hastily remedied that overlooked necessity.

  Allerton smiled and took another bite of the red stocking. “These are really very, very good, Constance.” He pushed the plate invitingly closer to me but I resisted.

  He waited until I had the cup raised to my lips before inquiring, “How are things going with you and Liam? Everything working out?”

  I swallowed wrong and only by sheer force of will avoided going into a coughing fit. “We’re fine.” I hoped my tone encouraged him to change the damn subject.

  “Do you like him?” He was deliberately oblivious. And sadistic, I decided grumpily.

  “I said we were fine.” A note of truculence crept into my voice.

  “But that’s not an answer to the question I asked.” He finished the red stocking then looked wistfully at the plate and the remaining six cookies—three more mittens, one stocking, a Christmas tree and a snowman, and resisted.

  “You know I can’t help but feel p
artially responsible for the fact you two are together.” He poured more coffee into his cup and into mine.

  Partially responsible? I thought with an inward snort. Try completely. Totally. Under normal circumstances Murphy’s and my orbits would never have crossed at the Great Gathering.

  “Councilor, I would have thought it was obvious I liked Murphy from the way I fell apart when he nearly died.” I sounded waspish and my fingers reached for the snowman without my permission. My stomach and my brain did not always listen to each other.

  “That could have been guilt.” He stirred in cream and sugar. The silver band of his wrist watch gleamed in the firelight.

  The sun outside had gone behind a cloud and the dim lighting of the chandelier cast an almost melancholy glow over the table.

  The snowman crumbled into three pieces between my agitated fingers. “I didn’t do it,” I denied through numb lips.

  “I know that,” he agreed with a patient smile. “But you did bite him and that was the reason he took that pill in the first place.”

  I swallowed against a sudden obstruction in my throat. The scent of vanilla and sugar clogged my sinuses and I wanted to be anywhere else but where I was at this moment.

  “We’ve been working on my wolf,” I confessed in a low, distressed tone. My words came in a rushed, defensive tumble even though I knew he wasn’t judging me. “We shift every chance we get and my wolf knows words for things now that she never knew before. She doesn’t run and play, she listens and learns. She would never bite him now. Never bite anybody.”

  Allerton put a fatherly hand over mine. The rest of the cookie disintegrated into crumbs.

  “Constance, I know you’ve been working hard. Liam has nothing but praise for your efforts. If anything, he thinks you’re trying too hard. And I know most of your motivation stems from that bite. But aside from working together on your wolf, how are you finding each other? In this form? Easy to live with? Annoying? I’m curious, indulge me.”