Scratch the Surface (Wolf Within)

by Amy Lee Burgess

  “No, the whole world does not know it. I would appreciate it if you’d keep it to yourself as well,” he said. “It’s not a secret. It’s simply none of your business.”

  I nearly choked to death on my laughter. “One of those not a secret but nobody knows anyway secrets. Yeah,” I said.

  “I would appreciate it, Constance, if you’d leave the room now. I don’t wish to continue this conversation. It’s irrelevant and insulting and I won’t tolerate it.” Allerton’s voice had turned to pure steel and, despite my fury, I found myself on my feet. His power was immense and now I’d crossed him.

  Poised at the edge of a very steep precipice, that was me.

  Chapter 11

  Twenty minutes later someone knocked on the bedroom door. I’d retreated to the room I was supposed to be sharing with Murphy because I couldn’t bear to be in the room next to Grandfather Tobias. It was bad enough he was just down the hall.

  I doubted like hell Murphy would knock, and I was right. Allerton, impeccable and implacable as ever, stood outside in the hallway.

  “I would like a word with you. Downstairs in the small conference room.” He turned on his heel and, confident I would follow, started for the stairs.

  When we passed the front room, I glanced in out of the corner of my eye and saw Murphy sitting in the chair I’d vacated, head down, full glass of cognac cradled in his hands. Kathy Manning was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t look up although I knew damned well he was aware of us as we walked past.

  Allerton shut the door behind me and gestured to the chairs surrounding the conference table.

  He adjusted the lights so the room was bathed in a soft, non-threatening light and, instead of sitting himself, walked to the built in bookshelves and pretended to peruse the titles on the spines.

  In my inferior seated position, I waited for him to tell me I was no longer his Advisor and he wanted nothing further to do with me. I waited for him to tell me I was a disgrace and weak and could not handle difficult things and that he was disappointed in me.

  The twenty minutes I’d spent in my room alone had sobered me like a slap of cold water in the face. I wasn’t angry anymore, I was lost. On the whole, I preferred the treacherous warmth of anger to the cold, slick sweat of being lost.

  “I don’t know if you’ll believe me or not, Constance,” Allerton said, turning away from the books to gaze at me with a deceptive gentleness, “but I never for one minute intended on making you my next mistress.”

  I tried to make myself even smaller in the chair. This was hell. Murphy, the bastard. He had to go and say something.

  “Forgive me for this, but you’re not in my league, frankly. You have no power and no social standing compared to mine. I choose my mistresses from my equals or my near equals. Enough so that it would never be something that could be construed as coercive. I want my mistresses to want to be my mistresses, not feel as though as they have no choice or that they somehow owe me. And I would never take one of my Advisors as a mistress, no matter what her social standing or power. That’s much too incestuous and not fair, because, you see, I select my Advisors carefully. I want them to become powerful, but not through sexual services rendered. I’ve never taken a former Advisor as a mistress either and I never will. Whatever power and success they aspire to, it can never be said that it was because she slept with me. So you see, Constance, I think you have the wrong impression of things as they stand between us. I apologize if I’ve ever given you any indication I intended otherwise.”

  I hadn’t thought it was possible to feel so ashamed. Or so huge when I wanted to be so small. I felt as if I took up every molecule in the room not taken up by him or the furniture. It was horrible.

  “Can we agree to let this go now? We don’t need to refer to it again.”

  As if I’d ever voluntarily go near the subject again. Unable to speak, I jerked my head in agreement.

  “Now can you trust me enough to stay my Advisor? Can you do that?”

  I nodded again although there was a part of me that wanted to run away, tail between my legs, and never, ever face this man again.

  He smiled at me then and I was pretty sure I’d surprised him. I was almost positive he thought I would have taken the opportunity to run and liked me all the better for not doing it.

  “Because of his lamentable experiences, Liam is going to be insecure with you as his bond mate. You’ll have to bear with him, work with him. It won’t be easy and, as much as he wants desperately to turn to you, he’ll fight you. You’ve worked enough of this out on your own and I think you’ve been doing a wonderful job with it. I’d hate to think that man upstairs could poison you so much you’d turn against someone like Liam, who needs you.”

  “All he said was I shouldn’t trust people at face value the way I used to. He said I’ve put myself in danger being your Advisor, being against the conspiracy, and I should choose my protectors wisely. He said people aren’t always who they claim to be. He didn’t specifically say Murphy was corrupt or you were. Just that I didn’t know.”

  “I am one of your protectors now,” Allerton said.

  “I need to fend for myself.” I jutted my chin and he smiled again and this time the smile was mostly pity.

  “You need allies. Don’t let that man make you believe you’re alone, because you’re not.”

  I stared at him, trying to find the words to describe things but I couldn’t. Both of them were trying to twist me. Everybody tries to twist everybody else, that’s all Grandfather Tobias had said to me. I was supposed to figure out how not to be twisted, or at least how to understand why I was being twisted. For reasons benign or selfish, for good or bad.

  Allerton wanted me on his side of things. I was in a position to help him, to root out some of the conspiracy because of my ties to it, however destructive they’d been. Grey and Elena had been killed by the conspiracy and that gave me a connection to it. I was closer to it than Allerton, and so was Murphy, and that’s one of the reasons he wanted us.

  “Grandfather Tobias said he’s not alone in Riverglow. Somebody else in the pack is also involved. Maybe more than one. Maybe the whole damn pack, for all I know,” I whispered. I felt as if I were stabbing my friends in the back but I had to say it. I had to. “I can’t tell you who because he didn’t tell me and obviously I’m not the best judge of character so I couldn’t begin to even guess.”

  He said nothing and something clicked into place.

  “Is that why you have Colin Hunter here? Is he working for you too? Like Murphy thought last night?”

  Allerton smiled at me again. “I do tend to put people into places where they might be useful.”

  “But that man accused Murphy of being involved in Sorcha’s death!” I cried then realized I was defending Murphy and shut my mouth.

  “And did himself no favor by doing it,” Allerton reminded me.

  “Desperate to redeem himself, he’s trying to figure out if anyone in Riverglow is involved in the conspiracy.” I stared at the empty fireplace and marveled at how Allerton’s mind worked. “And why am I here? To try to confirm it and figure it out through Grandfather Tobias?”

  “Maybe,” said Allerton. “I’m not keeping secrets. I’m merely on fishing expeditions. That’s all. I may catch nothing. There may be nothing to catch.”

  “Grandfather Tobias said there was someone else in Riverglow,” I protested.

  “Did he? Or did he insinuate it? He knows what I’m after, and he’s covering his tracks and doing a good job of it. He told you what? That you couldn’t trust anyone and no one was as they appeared. He cast doubt in your mind about me, about Liam, about all of Riverglow, but did he come out and speak actual names?”

  Reluctantly, I shook my head.

  “This is how it’s going to work, how we’re going to be forced to uncover people’s involvement. It’s not fun. It’s dangerous and dirty and demeaning and everything you’ve ever believed will be called into question and doubt. You have to be
strong enough to remain true to yourself and your convictions. And strong enough to believe in people and not lose faith in everything or you will be lost. You will drown just the way you talked about it earlier. I think it might be too late to walk away, but you can still try if you want.”

  I shook my head because he was right. It was too late. “Grandfather Tobias said if my wolf was awake, and she is, she can’t ever go back to sleep again. So I’m in, Jason. For however long it takes and whatever it costs me, I’m in.”

  The use of his first name was not lost on him and the smile he gave me was warm and approving. I felt a small glow of gratitude and pride. The man was a master at motivation. Maybe someday I would be half as good, but I sincerely doubted it.

  * * * *

  Murphy was sprawled on the bed when I returned to our room. The glass of cognac, mostly empty, was on the nightstand with the bottle. That was mostly empty too, but there was enough to half fill the water glass I retrieved from the bathroom.

  The lights were blazing and Murphy was wide awake and not a bit drunk even given the amount of alcohol he’d consumed. He lay in the same position he’d been in the night before—one arm curled around his head, the other at his side. He’d taken off his shoes but was still dressed and his face was full of bitter self-condemnation. He watched me gulp at the cognac but didn’t say a word.

  When I reached over to put the bottle on the nightstand, I saw a scrap of paper, a piece of something that been torn to shreds.

  I picked it up, curious, and saw the auburn blaze of Sorcha’s hair on the other side of the scrap. He’d ripped her photograph to pieces. My heart hurt when I thought about him doing it.

  Where were the other pieces? Had he thrown them away? I could never bear to throw a photo of Grey or Elena away, even if I were drunk.

  “Grandfather Tobias said he could see their ghosts.” I stared at the tiny piece of Sorcha’s photograph as it lay like an accusation in my palm. “Grey’s and Elena’s,” I clarified even though I was relatively sure he was following me. “The day I went to his house after they died, wanting him to tell me it was just an accident, he said he saw them with me. They had their arms around me, supporting me. I didn’t feel a thing. He said some people can see ghosts. He says it’s in his blood. You ever heard anything like that before?”

  “Yeah,” he answered after a moment when I doubted he would say anything. “There’s a few people in Mac Tire who swear they can see the spirits of the dead. Until they move on. I don’t see a damned thing, me. And I doubt like hell Sorcha ever put her arms around me from beyond the grave.” His voice dipped derisively and his chest heaved as if he fought to keep from crying.

  “You said you saw her in the hotel room in Houston,” I reminded him.

  He grimaced at me. “Bullshit hallucinations. I was pumped through with narcotics. I saw a lot of shit that wasn’t really there.” He gave me an accusatory look as if I were one of those things.

  “He says they’re not there anymore. Grey and Elena have moved on,” I said. I very carefully put the piece of the photograph on the nightstand and took another sip of the cognac. It was warm and pulsated through my veins like an electric current.

  “Is this some sort of subtle hint that I ought to do the same bloody thing?” He sneered at me. He half sat up and I realized he was a little drunk. Maybe a lot drunk. “I ripped up her picture. What do you want from me next? A rewrite of history deleting her out? Believe me, I wish I fucking could.”

  “I never asked you to rip up her picture,” I pointed out, but there was no reasoning with Murphy half drunk on wine and cognac.

  “I’ll betcha you wouldn’t rip up one of your precious pictures of Grey and Elena!” He stabbed a belligerent finger in my direction. I pretended I needed something from the dresser, so I could put some distance between us.

  “And now you think I’m gonna hit you, don’tcha?” His Irish accent was very thick and I had to concentrate to understand him. “Why don’tcha just fuck off, Constance. Go sleep across the hall the way you did last night. What in the hell are you here for anyway? Rubbing it in that I was wrong about Allerton maybe? Well, fuck, I admit it. I was wrong. The man never had designs on your body. Only the fuck he didn’t! He may not have intended to act upon it, but he sure as hell has thought about what it’d be like to screw you.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that.

  “Go on,” he yelled at me. “Get the fuck out. Can’t you tell I want to be alone? Always crowding me when I want to be alone!”

  “You’re such an asshole.” I snatched up my pajamas.

  He twisted his body so he was face down on the bed and covered his head with his arms, blocking me out.

  After I retreated across the hall, I climbed into the bed alone and resigned myself to another sleepless night.

  Chapter 12

  Murphy was pulling a navy blue sweater over his head when I walked into the bedroom the next morning at just past eight. Beneath it was a t-shirt and it had ridden up a little to reveal a slice of his flat stomach and, despite myself, I felt a little lick of lust ignite in my belly. He had a pair of dark jeans that hugged him like a second skin and a black belt—one I’d given him. It looked damn good around his waist.

  His face appeared, cheeks stubbled with a night’s growth of beard he apparently wasn’t going to bother to shave, his hair tousled. His lip was not swollen at all and the bruise on his face had faded, leaving just a trace of the abrasion caused by Colin Hunter’s fist.

  He saw me looking at him and gave me a rueful grin. “Jesus Christ, I was drunk last night.”

  “I know.” I turned to the mirror and picked up my brush. I was still in my pajamas. My feet were bare and I was cold. One look out the bedroom window had revealed a winter wonderland with snow still sifting down from the sky.

  Our eyes met in the mirror.

  “You ripped up a picture of Sorcha,” I reminded him and his grin turned sheepish.

  “I’ve got others.”

  “I’ll bet,” I said, none too charitably. He was driving me crazy standing there in his sexy sweater with his erotic beard and bedroom hair.

  Sometimes in the mornings when our eyes met in the mirror like this, he’d come over to me, wrap his arms around my waist and rub his bearded cheek against mine. It always drove me crazy and nine times out of ten we ended up back in bed, but I had a feeling today was not going to be one of those days.

  Another thing we’d discovered along our road trip—we were great in bed together. We’d started off tentatively because we were both scared and unused to each other—hell, we’d barely known each other. But as time wore on and we had become friends, things in the bedroom had heated way the fuck up. Astronomically. I felt a little guilty, but I could barely even remember how it had been with Grey anymore. And Vaughn and Peter and Rudi, the only other male partners I’d ever had could not even come close. By a long shot.

  He watched me get dressed but made no move to come near me and together we went downstairs.

  * * * *

  Allerton was just finishing what appeared to be his second cup of coffee when Murphy and I walked into the dining room. Kathy Manning saw us, hopped cheerfully to her feet and asked us how we wanted our eggs.

  “Scrambled,” said Murphy without consulting me. “And I hope for all our sake’s there’s ketchup in the house or we’re in for a bad few moments.”

  I extended my middle finger, making him laugh. Allerton hid a smile behind the rim of his coffee cup.

  I began to think that maybe today might be better than yesterday.

  However, I had barely had a chance to sit and grab my glass of orange juice before Allerton remarked with all the finesse of a true killjoy, “I believe today should be the day we deal with Tobias Green, don’t you, Constance?”

  I set my glass down before I took a sip and choked to death on it.

  Murphy’s smile vanished as if he’d never before smiled in his life. He pulled out the chair nearest mine wi
th barely restrained violence and all but threw himself into it.

  “I was half hoping he died in his sleep last night. He doesn’t look good,” I said in a subdued tone.

  Murphy picked up my orange juice and made me take it. He watched me drink some, keeping one eye on Allerton as if he could possibly keep Allerton from speaking.

  “The weight of his actions have taken a steep toll on his physical health,” said Allerton when my glass was empty.

  Murphy pulled the milk and sugar closer to me so I could fix myself coffee. His mouth was pulled tight but so far he hadn’t blown up. He was close though.

  “Regret? Remorse?” I said doubtfully. The Tobias Green I’d spoken to last night had not seemed in the least regretful or remorseful.

  “Responsible,” said Allerton succinctly. “He may feel no regret or remorse on behalf of the Great Pack and the ideals he espouses, but he does keenly feel the weight of the responsibility of taking two lives in their prime. And for sending you into a personal hell. He’s very fond of you. He made that clear over and over again when we were questioning him.”

  I grimaced because I didn’t want to hear that. Murphy scowled and I knew he was thinking something colorful and derogatory in Irish even if he didn’t dare say it aloud.

  “Oh, fuck it,” he said all at once, making me a liar. “If he’s that bloody fond of her, why should she be the one to administer the fatal dose of whatever hell brew Councilor Manning is no doubt whipping up on the kitchen counter?”

  “At the moment I’m making breakfast. Yours,” said Kathy Manning as she walked into the room with two plates of eggs and link sausage. “And when I do make something poisonous I won’t do it in the kitchen. That makes absolutely no sense, Liam, does it?”

  Murphy looked like he wanted to argue the point of any of it making sense, but I gave him a kick in the shin beneath the table and he kept quiet.

  Kathy set the plates between us. I had way more sausage than Murphy and when she went back into the kitchen to get toast, I picked up three links and put them on Murphy’s plate. He promptly snatched them up and two more on top of that and deposited them all on mine.