Not Used To Cute

by Becca Seymour

  “Hey, that’s okay.” Whoever the dung heaps were, they’d not only attacked Seb, but had known or assumed he worked here. Immediately my thoughts went to the graffiti that had appeared in the last couple of weeks around not only my place but a few of the other businesses too. It didn’t take much to figure out it was likely they were connected. But if Seb was right thinking at least one of the guys was maybe twenty-one, and not the young teenagers I’d expected, that took the threat to a new level.

  The thud of my heart pounded in my ears as I tried to process everything I’d heard, everything I felt, and exactly why these guys had started to be arseholes now. This was the bloody Sunny Coast, a place with sunshine and rainbows. I sighed at that. There were still a lot of bigoted wankers around too.

  It was too hard to concentrate, to think rationally when all I could see was red-hot rage. It took me a second to register the touch on my arm, and another for me to pull my gaze from the floor and look at the pale hand dotted in red before following the arm, which led me to meeting Seb’s clear eyes.

  A lopsided grin appeared on his face, and his tentative touch became firm. I moved my arm and repositioned it so I held his hand in mine. His hand was surprisingly rough, speaking of hard work and stories untold. It was also delicate in my larger grasp. Still, he watched me, his gaze unwavering.

  “You need to stop looking at me like that.” I was deadly serious. With heat pulsing through my veins and the urgent desire to do damage, I was terrified about where else my erratic emotions could lead me.

  His smile remained, but his eyes widened in confusion, and he dipped his head in question, leaning forwards a fraction. “Like what?” His voice lowered to a whisper.

  “Like if I kissed you right now, there’s no way in hell anyone’s stopping us from happening.” While not a whisper, my voice was rough and low.

  A startled O parted his lips as his gaze danced between my eyes and my mouth. It was a reaction I enjoyed getting from him. Seb opened his mouth to speak—

  “Elijah, you need me to call the police?” Cole’s voice jerked Seb’s head back and had him slamming his mouth shut.

  I gritted my teeth, though I didn’t waver from eye contact with Seb. “Just Drake for now. Also see if someone is around to take Seb to Drake’s brother’s.” I couldn’t remember for the life of me the guy’s name—Drake’s brother—but I knew he was friends with Seb. And right now, I didn’t want him to be alone.

  “On it.” Cole’s footsteps moved away before I heard his voice drift over as he made his calls. I was relieved as hell he was here. He ran the security firm he co-owned with my brother-in-law.

  “Is that okay?” I belatedly asked. By nature I was a take charge sort of guy, and this incident made my protective streak sit up and take notice.

  “Is what okay?”

  “There’s nowhere for you to wash up here, and I’d prefer you not to head home by yourself right now.”

  “Don’t I need to make a statement or something?”

  “That’s why I’m calling Drake. He owes me one.” Having a brother-in-law who was a cop came in handy every now and then. He’d tell me the best way to handle this and call it in, make the necessary statements. “I’ll tell him what’s going on, then we can come by for the official stuff when you’re cleaned up. That okay?”

  Relief shone in his eyes. “That would be amazing, thank you.”

  I smiled, pleased he didn’t feel the need to fight me on this. “What’s Drake’s brother’s name, and his partner?”

  “Liam and Matty. I’m not good friends with them though,” he quickly added.

  I didn’t have time to be interested, but there was no way I couldn’t be. I was desperate for any insight into Seb I could get. “No?”

  “I’m Sid’s friend more than anything, and through default, Ella, his fiancée, who’s Matty’s best friend, who’s also Sid’s brother.” The hell with all the names! There was no way I could keep up with that tangled mess. “Sid really helped me out a while back. He was there for me, and we used to—” His eyes went wide. There went my rage again. “You okay?”

  I ground my teeth so hard, the noise was obvious in the small office space. “You and Sid—” I couldn’t even say it, ask it.

  “Oh.” He looked genuinely surprised that my pissed-off reaction was a result of his words. “Well, sort of, but not really. We had a slight thing, but more than anything he was a good friend when I needed him. He helped me get over some shit, and then he met Ella, and they were both great, but then we sort of grew apart. Plus, he was always a little more into women. You know how it is when a couple just conn—”

  “Seb.”

  “Yeah?”

  Okay, I had no idea what I wanted to say. I just knew I didn’t want to hear anything about Sid, even if he was happily loved up or whatever. And sending him to Drake’s where this guy could turn up…. I mentally shook myself. “Change of plan. You okay to sit tight at my sister’s until I can catch up with you? She only lives a couple of roads away.” I preferred this plan already. Harriet would be there, as it was her day off. It also meant Seb would be safe and available for when he needed to make a statement.

  “Umm, okay.” He bit his bottom lip a moment before asking, “Do you think she’ll mind if I use her shower? I need clothes.”

  “Yep. And I’ll grab you a work tee from the back. There’s bound to be some boardies or something in my office too. Best ask Harriet to take a couple of photos of you first and bag the clothes, just in case.”

  He nodded in understanding but still asked, “So wouldn’t it be best for me to just head home? It seems like a bit of a ball ache to go there rather than straight home.”

  I sighed but kept my eyes firmly open, really wanting to shut the conversation down and scrub my hands over my face to wipe away the stress of the last thirty minutes. I also wished like hell the installation of the staff shower I’d had approved was finalised. “I know you want to clean up, but I don’t want you to be alone right now. I don’t think anything else is going to happen.”

  He nodded. “Anyone who does that shit, throws paint and drives off, is a coward.”

  I agreed completely. “I also think these guys are the ones who’ve been targeting the bar. It’s been a while since we’ve had to deal with such hatred.” I paused a moment, meaning my next words with everything I had. “Shit, I’m sorry, Seb. You came here to work, not to be dragged into this bullshit.” The next words pained me, but they needed to be said. “I understand if you le—”

  “No.” He shook his head slowly, a small smile on his lips. “It’s okay. It’s done. I hate that anyone has to deal with hateful shit as the norm. Maybe one day it’ll stop happening.” He sounded almost whimsical, but I recognised the desperate need to hold on to hope, that this world we lived in would do better, be better. “It’s fine,” he continued. “I’ll go and sit with Harriet after grabbing a shower and wait for the cops. I’d like to get to know her better anyway. You get whatever it is you need to do sorted and then call me later or something.”

  I stared at the man before me for a moment, openly perusing him. “I’ll come and collect you. No calls or something.”

  His slight smile split into a grin. “Okay. No or something.”

  Four

  Seb

  Harriet had been into Elijah’s bar a couple of times, so it wasn’t like we were complete strangers, plus I knew her loosely via her collection of friends—it was how I’d met her in the first place. But despite my ability to chat the postie’s head off, let alone a virtual stranger’s, around Harriet I felt self-conscious, a rare occurrence and one that made no sense considering she was both sweet and quiet.

  For the first hour of being there, I’d washed up, and tugged on the new tee and Elijah’s shorts that were too big. But I’d pulled the cord as tight as possible to keep them up. I then sat by myself playing on my phone. Harriet had apologised repeatedly for not stopping straight away to sit with me. I’d brushed off her ap
ology immediately, trying my hardest to reassure her. She had a couple of calls to make, and the last thing I wanted was to add work or stress to her day.

  It gave me time to think though. That wasn’t always a wise move when my nerves were still on edge. I’d told Elijah I was fine, but how could I not? When his brows had dipped low and a combination of worry and then anger had warred on his face, I was convinced he’d pop a gasket.

  But hell, the rush of dread when the paint had hit me…. I shook my head, remembering. It had almost happened in slow motion, not the events themselves, but rather my reaction to it. A torrent of ice-cold fear had hit me first in the chest. My breath had been lost to me in that instant, and it had taken seconds for me to focus enough to encourage my lungs to work and inhale. When air had finally expanded my chest, the fear had travelled to my heart before sending me spinning and rushing to my head. It had bounced around my system and flooded me.

  I’d heard the guy’s words, watched his mouth move with his syllables, and while I understood them and felt them, it wasn’t until he’d driven away and my feet pounded the pavement and then Elijah had wrapped his welcoming, warm arms around me that they’d sunk in.

  My trembling hadn’t taken long to stop, not in the safety his arms provided. He’d given me everything I’d needed to calm myself and collect my emotions and my thoughts. And while I’d been completely thrown by what had happened, I already knew enough about Elijah that he’d look out for me.

  It wasn’t long after Elijah had helped me refocus that my own anger had bubbled to the surface. Incredulous didn’t even begin to cover the torrent of emotions threatening to overwhelm me. That someone thought they had the right to do that to me, to anyone…. I shook my head and had a moment to feel relieved as hell that this had happened to me and not Carla.

  “Need some tablets?” Harriet’s question gave me much-needed respite from my overthinking.

  I lowered my hand from my temple. I hadn’t even realised I’d been rubbing it. “That would be great. Thanks. Would a coffee be okay too? It just helps with my head.”

  “Sure.” Turning around, she headed to the kitchen. As I watched her go, I couldn’t help but think how different she was to Elijah, physically at least. Though they did share the same lovely shade of brown eyes, and despite Elijah giving off a “don’t mess with me” vibe, his gaze would often land on me and the harshness would disappear and his eyes would soften, appearing almost kind, if that was even a thing. It was funny, because Harriet had the same sweet look.

  I hadn’t spent enough time with Harriet to know what she was like. She’d always been friendly, which I appreciated. But then, I didn’t know Elijah all that well either. Well, not outside of work. We’d spoken a fair amount the few shifts a week I was at the bar. Other than Carla, I spoke to him more than anyone else, plus he always took the time to ask me about my day, my plans, my life. He was a good boss, a good guy, and hell if my heart didn’t beat erratically whenever he came close or offered me a private smile. In one of my many daydreams about him, I’d decided that was exactly what they were, private. A little offering of Elijah just for me.

  Returning with the coffee, Harriet handed me mine.

  I relaxed a little and inhaled the delicious scent. Offering her a tentative smile, I said, “Thanks for the coffee and for letting me hang out.”

  With her mug in hand, Harriet sat on the oversized chair opposite from the large sofa I sat on. “It’s all good. I needed a break anyway.”

  “Have you been here long?”

  After taking a tentative sip of her steaming drink, she answered, “Almost a couple of years now. I used to live with my brother before moving in with Drake.”

  “I imagine that was fun.” The one thing I was aware of about Elijah and his sister was that he was super protective. “You used to work at the bar as well, right?”

  “Yeah, it was good for me, but it was finally time to make a change and take a risk, you know? I can’t complain. It’s how Drake and I finally hooked up.” I knew they were married but beyond that nothing more about Harriet or her life.

  I frowned, saying, “Drake’s a police officer, right? How’d you work for him?”

  She smiled. “He’s more of a silent partner in a security firm. But he’s able to do some work for his company, mainly during vacation time. He told me it was a pain to get approval from the Queensland Police for this second job, but he obviously managed it.”

  “Oh, okay. Like security as in bodyguard stuff?” I had a serious hard-on for that Scottish guy in the British drama Bodyguard. I could respect a man in a sexy suit being all hardcore. “Must be interesting working for a security place.”

  Harriet laughed. “Yeah, something like that. There’s a whole heap of jobs they take on. I like it most days. I struggle with new places, meeting new people, so I’m more than settled here. I work from home, having calls directed to me here, and spend a couple of days in the main office. Plus, there’s no chance Drake would let me go.” I raised my brows, and she laughed harder. “No, not like that. It’s not like he’s holding me hostage or anything. We just work well together, keep each other centred. If there comes a time in the future, and I’m talking way in the distant future, where I felt like I needed something different, he’d support me.”

  Smiling at Harriet, I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to have that. I thought I’d had something similar once, but that turned to shit far too quickly. But Harriet, she was virtually bursting with happiness. I took that as a good sign, as hope that maybe I would be able to find something like she had with Drake.

  While I wasn’t desperate for a relationship, and in truth, falling in love terrified the pants off me, I was lonely. I also knew that loneliness was not the best of reasons to chase a relationship. It didn’t mean I couldn’t hope for it though… deep, deep down.

  “Don’t get me wrong, he’d struggle like hell with it,” she continued with a smile, “but he’d deal, eventually. He just likes to know I’m safe.” She took another sip. “How about you? You seem to be getting on okay at my brother’s place. I think you need a damn medal putting up with his miserable arse—”

  “Oh no. He’s never miserable. He’s great and helpful… and kind.” Flashes of Elijah and the many simple acts of kindness drifted through me with ease, bringing a smile to my face. I could happily distract myself with thoughts of Elijah. Harriet looked on with wide-eyed disbelief, amusement playing on her lips. “Seriously, he is,” I continued. “He can get a bit a-holish with some of the guys, but usually when they’re being all flirty and stuff. There’s a couple of flirty ones who like winding me up. Not that I don’t mind the attention every now and again. But he soon tells them to get back to work. He’s never grumpy with me though. He even bought me a cinnamon roll last week, as I was having a bad day and almost set fire to the photocopier. It was fine though. It didn’t actually set alight—”

  Harriet drawing her lips into her mouth and pressing them together made me stop. I was rambling. Again. I knew I did it, a lot. Heck, all the damn time. I also knew I could frustrate and annoy people. My stomach sank. What if Harriet just wanted me to shut up and stay quiet so she could go back to work? Shit. I cleared my throat and straightened. I really wanted to get the hell out of here and home. This was getting ridiculous. I was a grown-arse man and could be trusted to be home and contact the police myself. I frowned, wondering why I’d so readily let Elijah take the lead.

  I hated feeling like this, vulnerable and uncertain. It was a new development, well, sort of, and one I definitely hated. I wanted nothing more than for the Seb of the past to come back, one where I was half oblivious, half “couldn’t give a damn” about people’s reaction to me. It had only previously bothered me in my early teens, but I’d outgrown it quite quickly and found my footing in the world and confidence in myself.

  My mum always said I was away with the fairies, and I loved that. But a couple of years ago, the Seb I liked the most, the part of me that cop
ed and happily danced along to my own beat, had started to disappear. Even more so after the clusterfuck with my ex. I firmed my jaw, determined not to think about him, about the humiliation, or the possibility of Harriet wanting to ship me out or gag me.

  “Hey, what just happened?” Harriet’s voice was gentle, her tone soothing.

  She was sweet, but I didn’t need handling with kid gloves. Though wherever I went, people took in my size, my large blue eyes, and immediately came up with their conclusions about me. I focussed on her, biting my tongue as she had been nothing but wonderful. Pretty brown eyes greeted me, though they were framed by a frown and had dimmed with worry.

  She remained silent, watching me, waiting for me to speak. Her kind eyes eased some of my gnawing frustration, though it still festered, waiting to crawl out.

  “Sorry. I just really need to get out of here.” I gave a self-deprecating laugh and added, “I do have a tendency not to know when to shut the hell up.” Deflection was always something I excelled at.

  “At no point did I consider throwing this picture frame at you to get you to be quiet.” A small smile touched her lips as she indicated the wedding photograph on the table. “Yeah, you spoke a little fast, and I was worried you’d pass out from not taking a breath”—she tilted her head to the side, her smile still in place—“but I was listening to every word you said and was enjoying what I heard. Surprised, but happy.”

  Her comment was enough to settle me back on the sofa a little. “Surprised?” I grabbed on to the distraction.

  Before answering, Harriet took another sip and then placed her coffee on the small table next to her chair. She pulled her feet up and tucked them under her. It seemed she was getting herself comfortable. Maybe I wouldn’t be racing home after all.