Never Again (Never Again Series Book 1)

by Jamie Lynn Boothe

  Once they arrived at the hospital they walked into the emergency room and Chris told them his wife was in surgery. He was told they would have to wait in the lounge or the cafeteria, or in the small waiting room on the cardiac floor. They went to the cardiac floor. About ten minutes later Tonya walked off the elevator and ran to him.

  “Chris! Oh my God!” she cried as she hugged him. “What happened? Junior told me you found her on the shower floor and she had a heart attack!”

  Chris tried to look at her; he could barely move his head in an up and down motion.

  “I can’t believe this is happening. Thank you for coming. Thank you both; you have no idea how much this means.”

  Junior and Tonya were both God-sends. If it wasn’t for them he didn’t think he would have been able to deal with everything alone. Chris was unable to sit still, so he paced the floor until his feet began to hurt. He tried his best to block out the surrounding noises of staff walking around. He knew they were only doing their jobs, but it was increasingly difficult for him.

  His anxiety was maddening and he wouldn’t doubt he was getting on everyone’s nerves. Finally, Junior said he would go get everyone something to drink and would be back shortly. Tonya stayed and Chris didn’t want to leave in case the surgeon finished and looked for him.

  Tonya reached out and took Chris’s hand as he walked past her for the hundredth time and asked him to sit.

  “Come on, Chris. You are going to wear a path into the floor.”

  Reluctantly sitting next to her, he grunted, “I can’t stand this, Tonya. It’s so hard not knowing what’s going to happen or if she will pull through this.”

  Frowning and with compassionate eyes, she looked at him. “I know it’s hard, Chris. Trust me, she’s my best friend. I’m scared too, but we have to let God handle this and try to have faith. There’s nothing else we can do.”

  Time passed and Chris’s anxiety grew. He drank three cups of coffee and started to get the shakes from too much caffeine. Finally, he gave in and told them to wait for the doctor. He needed a few minutes alone and walked down the hall in search of somewhere to go. He found the small chapel the hospital provided and closed the door, grateful there wasn’t anyone else in there.

  Slowly, he walked through the small chapel. He looked at his surroundings, taking in the fluorescent candles and the cross that hung from the back wall. On one side of the room was a picture of Jesus kneeling in prayer, and Chris felt his heart being tugged on.

  Prayer wasn’t something he was naturally good at, but he sat on a pew and closed his eyes. With his hands clasped and his head lowered he started talking to the only One who had the power to do anything for Sam. The One who could control the surgeons’ hands to perform a perfect surgery. The only One who could save Sam.

  “God, I know I don’t talk to You enough. I know I haven’t been what I probably should have been all these years, and I know there have been many times You have pulled on my heart but I rarely turned to You. I don’t know if You are upset or if You are doing this or what is really going on, but I need You right now. Sam needs You right now. You know what is happening, I don’t have to tell You, so please God I beg You, please save her. Don’t take her from me. If You need one of us, then take me! Take me from this place and let her live her life. I beg You, God, please.”

  Afterward, Chris sat in silence and let himself cry. The tears he had been fighting back were set free. He hadn’t wanted to let the walls down, but in the chapel he knew he was safe from prying eyes. Once he finished talking to the man upstairs he felt peace come over him. A comfort. He didn’t hear any voices or any angelic singing and didn’t feel a hand on his shoulder, but felt a peace of mind.

  Chris dried his tears and stood and looked at the picture of Jesus that hung from the wall. He didn’t know why, but said “Thank You” and turned and walked back to the waiting room. Junior looked at him with a tired expression; Chris felt sorry for him and grateful at the same time.

  “You okay, man?” Junior asked as he walked nearer to him.

  “Yeah, I’m better.”

  “Where did you go?”

  “I had to have a one on one with God.”

  Junior looked at him, and Chris looked at them both with a better sense of gratitude and emotions. Tonya could tell there was a difference in him from earlier.

  “That talk you had with the man upstairs must have helped,” she stated.

  Chris nodded and simply replied, “I seriously appreciate both of you being here and putting up with me. I can’t express enough how much it means.”

  “You would do the same for us,” Junior acknowledged. “That’s what friends do, right?”

  Chris nodded and agreed.

  A few minutes later the surgeon walked toward them. They all stood at the same time and watched a thin man with greyish hair and green scrubs approach. Chris’s heart began pounding hard within his chest. He tried to read his expression and all he could see was the worn look upon his face. He hoped that was all he saw.

  “Mr. Tyler, I’m Dr. Surmine,” he introduced himself.

  “How is she Doc?” Chris asked nervously.

  “She did great and at the moment she’s being well taken care of. She’ll be out for a while and it’s going to take some time for her to recover, but I think she will pull through without any problems.”

  Chris thought he was going to faint from the relief expelled from him.

  “Can I see her?”

  “Well, let me explain to you what’s happening, or should I say, how it all went. The surgery was a little difficult at first. I don’t want that to scare you or anything. Her heart muscles had thickened to a very dangerous state, and that’s what caused all the problems. I was able to lessen the strain on her heart, increase blood flow, and do a little repair, but the entire procedure was a success.”

  “How is it possible that she never had any problems before now?” Tonya asked. “She never got sick or anything.”

  “With the condition she has that’s very common and unfortunate. A lot of people with heart conditions don’t know until it’s too late. Some have symptoms of chest pains or labored breathing. Now, I believe with the prescriptions I am going to write for her and plenty of rest and of course regular checkups she’ll be fine. I do want to keep her for a while though to make sure no other problems unexpectedly show up.”

  “How long do you think she will have to stay?”

  “It was a rather serious surgery and with her history over the past month, I want to keep her for a week. Maybe less if she shows good signs.”

  Chris took a deep breath and knew he shouldn’t be surprised by that. Sam had been through a lot and it should have been expected.

  “Okay, and whatever you tell us to do I’ll make sure it gets done,” Chris told him.

  “I’ll let the nurse know to come and get you once they get her back into her room and comfortable. I’m afraid she needs her rest and probably won’t even know you are there for a day or so because she’ll be sedated pretty heavily.”

  The three of them nodded their understanding.

  “Can I stay here with her? I will be quiet and won’t bother a soul.”

  “I’ll allow it under the circumstances, but just you. I’ll let them know at the desk.”

  “Thank you.”

  The doctor hurried away and Chris could feel the weight on his shoulders begin to lighten. He looked up at the ceiling and whispered, “Thank You,” squeezing his hands together. Junior clapped his hand on Chris’s back and told him everything would be okay. Tonya hugged him and said she’d do whatever she could to help.

  They sat and tried to wait as patiently as possible for the nurse to let them know it was okay to see Sam, but it felt like time stood still. After about half an hour, a young, petite nurse walked up and said to follow her. When they got to Sam’s room the nurse looked at Chris, smiled, and said to be sure not to wake her.

  Of course, I’m not going to wake her. He onl
y wanted to hold her and kiss her because he was relieved she was alive. He wouldn’t do those things either, but he wanted to.

  Junior and Tonya waited in the hall to let Chris have some time alone with Sam, and when he stepped up to her bed he almost lost it. She looked so tired and had what looked like so many things coming out of her along, including the breathing tube. But even with all of that, seeing his true love lying there still breathing made his shaky wall burst away and freed the fountain of tears.

  He realized he had never cried as much as he had over the past two weeks. He gently took her hand in his and knelt beside her bed, laying his forehead on the mattress. All that mattered was being by her side. He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb, closed his tired and bloodshot eyes, and said some deeply heartfelt words.

  “God, I know there is no possible way for me to fully express my gratitude to You right now, but I want You to know I am extremely thankful. Thank You for not taking her from me. Thank You for making the surgery a success. Thank You, God, for everything. I don’t like to make promises, but I will do better than what I have been doing. I will do my best to take care of her. Thank You, with all of my heart.”

  Raising his head, he kissed her hand and stood from the bed. After staring at her for a moment more he got Junior and Tonya from the hall and let them visit with her for a few minutes before Junior pulled him to the side.

  “Look, I know you hate the idea of leaving for even a minute, but I really need to get back to the house. I have to work tomorrow. Why don’t I drive you back to the hospital in Torrington so you can get your car and you can come back here? I’m sorry for leaving, but I have to.”

  “I’ll stay here with her while you are gone,” Tonya chimed in. “In case she does wake up someone will be here and I’ll let her know you’ll be back soon.”

  Chris reluctantly agreed. He talked to the nurse about staying overnight, but told her he had to get his car and a few things from the apartment, but would be back. He kissed Sam before leaving. It tore his heart out to have to go even for a little while, but knew he had to.

  ***

  Once Junior dropped him off at his car, Chris drove as carefully as he could but anxious to get back to the hospital. He quickly grabbed a few things at the apartment, throwing everything in bags with little concern about how neatly they were packed. He made sure he got some of Sam’s things as well. If it was possible, he wanted to make her at least a little more comfortable than she’d otherwise be when she woke up. With two bags in tow, he left the apartment, threw them in the backseat of his car, and started back to the hospital.

  On the drive back he went over in his mind what needed to be done over the next few days. He would need to try to write it all down. He doubted he would be able to remember everything. With all the stressful events his brain had grown tired.

  By the time he got back to the hospital Tonya had fallen asleep in the chair by the window. He grinned when he saw her and tried to be quiet. He noticed one of the nurses had taken a fold-up cot and placed it in Sam’s room for him. He was touched by the kindness and made sure he found out who had taken the time to do that and thanked her. He asked if there had been any changes and if she had woken up while he was gone. They said no, nothing had happened.

  He set the bags down, leaned against the wall, and stared at Sam. Even as she lay there, in his heart and soul she was his everything. Out of everything he had seen in life she was all he had ever dreamed of and wanted. He couldn’t imagine being without her. If she needed a nurse to visit it would be done. If he had to work two jobs to make ends meet then he would, but he didn’t think that would be necessary. He had a great insurance plan through work and made good money so more than likely they would be okay.

  He thought about the secret he planned to tell her one day and wondered if it was that time. He thought about the importance of it and how she would take it. It was important to him that she understood why he never revealed it. The only person who knew was Junior. Not even his parents. Maybe, it was time to come forward with it. Maybe.

  Chapter Six

  The next morning came earlier than Chris thought it would. The nurses coming in and out to check on Sam through the night prevented him from getting much sleep, but he wanted them to keep an eye on her. A very close eye. He didn’t know if he heard them every time they came in or not but at least it seemed that way.

  He got up from the cot and checked on her himself—she was sound asleep. He hoped she was dreaming something peaceful. When she woke up she’d probably be in pain and emotional. Hopefully, not too bad, but he knew it would be understandable. With what she’d been through anyone would be emotional. He noticed Tonya wasn’t in the room and figured she had gone to the cafeteria for something.

  That was when he saw a note lying on the small table next to the bed. In it, Tonya let him know she had to go home, but would be back later to check on her. She asked him to tell Sam she loved her if she woke up.

  Chris decided to go downstairs to the cafeteria and as he walked to the elevator could begin to feel exhaustion setting in. He hadn’t eaten in hours and was feeling the effects from neglecting his growling stomach. He chose a simple meal—a bagel with cream cheese and a coffee. He got some Tylenol while he was there in case his headache returned. He didn’t want to stay away from Sam very long so he took his meager meal back upstairs.

  When he returned to Sam’s room he sat next to her and ate quietly. It was still very early in the morning and the sun itself was still not awake. He had noticed when he left and came back how quiet the hallways were. It was good to know employees tried to be respectful when everyone was sleeping.

  Even though the amount of staff was minimal at that hour, there were still soft sounds of computers and conversations lingering in the antiseptic air. Once in a while he could hear the slight squeaking of the tiny wheels of a janitorial cart rolling on the linoleum floors.

  The blinds were cracked so he could stare out the window if he wanted to. If he took a moment, he could see the sky was clear and the stars were glittering brightly. It seemed there was a ripple effect the way they danced around from one to the other. On such a clear morning, you wouldn’t even have to try very hard to find a few of the constellations.

  But he didn’t take a moment to appreciate any of the nightly wonders. His attention was fully on his wife. The woman of his dreams who he almost lost. At that moment, she was all that truly mattered to him.

  A nurse walked in and disturbed the silence, although she barely made a sound. She only smiled at him, did what she had come for, and disappeared from the room.

  Gratitude once again filled him and he thought about writing something he could read to her later. He enjoyed writing poetry once upon a time and occasionally something would come to mind. She had always enjoyed hearing him read what he wrote so if she could hear him he knew she would love that.

  He went to the desk and asked if they could spare some paper and a pen, then walked back into Sam’s room. He sipped his coffee as his tired brain began forming words and he jotted them down. Writing had always come easy for him even though he was surprised by it. He hated English in high school and barely passed. Somehow, he was good at it as if it were some sort of gift. After about an hour he held the paper in front of him and admired the words from his heart. He read it to himself and thought she would like it.

  Princess

  I can’t even begin to count how many blessings I’ve had

  How many sights and sounds to grace my life

  I don’t know how many times I’ve heard laughter

  That brought a smile to my heart

  Nor can I remember the vast fields of flowers

  The sunrises and sunsets that paint the skies

  The stars at night and the bright moon

  That all light up our lives

  What I can recall though is the first time I saw you

  The first time I heard you laugh

  The first sparkle in your
eyes when we talked

  The first kiss that stole my heart

  You are a Princess in my mind

  A delicate flower that will forever bloom

  You are an angel that graced so many lives

  A true gift from a Higher One above

  I love you Princess as so many do

  You hold a special place in my heart

  You are immortal as if you were among royalty

  You are the brightest out of all stars.

  ***

  His head was hanging to the side when his eyes began to slowly creak open. A sharp pain coursed through his neck causing him to wince. He could feel wetness on the right side of his face and knew he had been drooling. He wiped it off with the palm of his hand and looked over toward Samantha.

  Immediately, he bolted from the chair that had obviously become a makeshift bed and again pain shot through him. That time it soared up his spine from sitting in an awkward position, but it didn’t stop him from running to the nurses’ desk.

  “Where’s my wife? Did something happen to her?” he frantically asked an older nurse with green eyes and purple hair with pink dyed tips.

  She shook her head and calmly told him what was going on.

  “She’s okay, Mr. Tyler. She was scheduled for a couple of tests. She won’t be gone long. The doctor has ordered several tests while she’s here to keep track of how her heart is doing.”

  Breathing easier, Chris grinned and said, “Oh, okay. Sorry; I had fallen asleep and when I woke up she was gone. I didn’t know what was going on. I can’t believe I didn’t hear her being taken out.”