“Hey, Sam,” Junior said as he walked up behind her, catching her off guard. She spun around and fell against the wall almost hitting her head against the brick. He reached out for her to make sure she didn’t hurt herself further.
“Are you okay? I didn’t mean to scare you!”
Nodding and trying to calm her nerves from the surprise, and near head injury, Sam said, “Yes, I’m fine. You caught me by surprise, but that’s okay.”
Standing back, he looked from her to the boxes and back at her and scratched his head.
“Umm, what’s up? What’s with the boxes?” he asked.
Still feeling the shock from Junior walking up behind her when she wasn’t expecting to talk with him until later and on the phone, she rambled in her head for the right way to address it.
“Umm, well, these are Chris’s things.” She motioned at the three boxes. “I finally got the nerve to pack them up and I thought you would like to have them. It’s mainly clothes and some things I know you liked.”
“Oh, okay. Thank you. Let’s take them inside where it’s not so warm. Come on in.”
He stacked two of the boxes and carried them inside leaving her the smallest of the three to carry. When they were inside his apartment the nervous feeling didn’t ease. If anything, it got worse for her. She knew she would have to tell him she was moving. With the boxes sitting next to the door she stood there unsure and uncomfortable.
“You want a drink or anything?” he asked her.
“No, thanks. I’m good.”
“I’ve missed you,” he said in a lower voice, as if it was difficult for him to say. “I’m sorry we haven’t talked. I guess things have changed, even when we didn’t want them to.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s nobody’s fault really. I missed you too,” she commented and took a seat. “I have to be honest with you about something. I mean…I have to tell you something.”
“Okay,” he replied and took a seat across from her. “I can tell I’m not going to like this much from your expression.”
Sam took a deep breath and did what would be easiest—blurted it out.
“I’m moving to Florida. Next week.”
He sat there with an expression she wasn’t able to read. She didn’t know what exactly she expected, but she thought he would be more surprised than what he showed. He nodded and pressed his lips together, not saying anything at first.
“Junior?”
Looking up she saw that his eyes were slightly misty and his cheeks had reddened.
“I’m okay. I’m not surprised much and I understand. You need to get away and start over and me feeling the way I do probably helped you make that decision.”
Her heart hurt for her friend, seeing him in pain. She felt her own lump forming in her throat and wasn’t sure how easy it would be to talk, but she pushed forward. She knew she had no other choice.
“Junior,” she said with compassion. “This hasn’t been an easy decision for me at all. With Chris being gone and having so many memories here, you’re right—it will be easier to move forward if I wasn’t here. It has nothing to do with you.”
She knew she was lying and she didn’t like to do that, but hurting him further was the last thing she wanted to do.
“Really, I understand. Besides, I’m sure the weather there is a lot better, especially in the winter.”
“Yeah. I’ll be living near the beach so that will be great. I’ll be staying with Tonya at first until I find a place I like, and her uncle has a great restaurant he wants me to work in. So, things are falling into place before I get there.”
“That would be the one you worked at when you were down helping her, right?”
“Yeah, the same one.”
They looked at each other for a moment. The air in the room felt full of unspoken emotions.
“I wish you the best of luck Sam, and I’ll miss you. I hope we can still talk once in a while.”
“Thank you and yes, of course. You mean so much to me Junior, please believe that. I am not turning away from you. I’m only doing what I have to do for me. You can come down sometime if you want.”
“I may take you up on that one day.”
“I hope you do, because I mean it.”
Another minute passed and she knew it was time to go. Feelings needed to be felt alone and sorted through. Hopefully accepted.
“I would like to cook dinner for you one more night before I leave, if you would like that.”
“I would. Just let me know when and I’m there.”
“Okay, good. I have to go. Give me a hug.”
They stood and held onto each other in a hug that would be in their memories forever. She was aware of his feelings for her, but what she wasn’t expecting was how good it felt within his arms. To be against him. When they pulled apart an urge to have him kiss her was not only near overwhelming, but also unexpected.
Before anything could or would happen, she stepped back and said she would call him in a few days to tell him when to be there for dinner. When she got in her car, she was finally able to let her shoulders sag and her breath flow freely.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
A week passed and the night they would be having their last dinner together arrived. Sam felt like a bag full of nerves and kept dropping things in the process of cooking.
“Get…a…grip!” she fussed at herself.
Junior would be there in a half an hour and she wasn’t finished getting ready yet. Even though they were friends she still didn’t want to look like she just walked out of a full day’s work at the local factory. Her hair was a mess and she hadn’t put on any make-up.
Quickly, she checked on the duck that was broiling, then turned the heat down to simmer on the vegetables on the stove top. It wasn’t her best meal ever prepared, but they would both enjoy it. She had to remember to put the yeast rolls in when she pulled out the duck.
She practically started to run into the bathroom when Junior knocked on the door, causing her to come to a skidding halt halfway there.
“He’s early! Of course, he is,” she complained as she turned around and went to answer the door. “Hey, there. I wasn’t expecting you to be early. I’m not ready.”
Walking in he grinned and said, “You look perfect exactly how you are.”
“Ha! Yeah, whatever,” she commented and started toward the bedroom again. “Can you do me a favor? If the bell goes off will you take the duck out of the oven for me, please?”
Shaking his head and still grinning he agreed. He watched her disappear and close her door to the bedroom. Shaking his head, he thought to himself that she was gorgeous without doing anything. She had always been a natural beauty and he didn’t like seeing her with a lot of makeup anyhow. Of course, he wouldn’t say anything. If she wanted to wear it and fix her hair, then so be it.
He took in the aroma of the food she obviously worked so hard over. His stomach was already growling when he arrived, and the sound effects were getting more pronounced. He noticed she hadn’t had time to set the table so he took the initiative to do it.
As he placed the silverware and plates and glasses on the table he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He wondered what they would talk about. He was really more concerned about controlling himself. It would be the last time he would see her for who knew how long. There was no doubt he wanted to hold her, and when he left for the night, would he be able to not kiss her good-bye? That would be his hardest struggle.
The bell went off on the oven and he looked for something to get the duck out with. All he found was a couple dishtowels. He set it on top of the stove and his mouth began to salivate wildly.
“Man, that looks delicious!” he said to himself.
“Thank you.”
Sam had walked into the kitchen behind him, and he hadn’t heard her approaching. He jumped and she laughed at his reaction.
“Whoa! I didn’t hear you coming up behind me,” he told her and laughed nervously.
“I
could tell. I’m sorry I scared you.”
Junior tried not to stare, but Sam looked good. She had put her long brown hair up into a ponytail that started at the crown of her head and finished down the middle of her back. She didn’t apply too much makeup and he could smell the perfume radiating from her. She was intoxicating.
“It’s okay. I, umm, took the bird out,” he managed to stammer.
She giggled and said, “Bird? It’s not just a bird.”
The tone turned to joking, “Oh, okay duck. I always thought ducks were part of the bird family.”
He loved hearing her laugh as she did again and said he was being silly. Even though it was hard for him not to stare and look like a drooling teenager, he could tell maybe the evening would be pretty special after all.
***
Sam couldn’t believe what was happening. Her heart was beginning to slam against her chest and she was feeling like she had never seen Junior in this setting before. Something happened between the time she answered the door and let him in and when she returned from the bedroom. Something within her.
She had gone to freshen up a little and made herself look a little better. Did she do that for herself or for him? When she walked into the kitchen and saw him standing with his back to her, she liked what she saw. It was so weird. She had seen him countless times over the years and even though she’d always known he was an attractive man, that brief time moments ago was different. When Sam realized her emotions, she didn’t know how to feel about it.
As they talked she noticed he had already set the table and she thanked him, being careful how she spoke. She was scared her voice would give her away. She took her time slicing the duck and placing it on a separate plate. She then put the vegetables in a bowl and carried both dishes to the table. The rolls were finished and as she spread butter on them he poured them both something to drink. It all felt so normal and crazy at the same time.
Inside her head, she kept telling herself to breathe and take it easy. Enjoy the night with her friend. Her friend. Not boyfriend. Not lover. Friend.
“I have to tell you, Sam, that this looks and smells divine.”
“Thank you. I hope you like it.”
“I have no doubt that I will. Thank you for preparing it and for having me over.”
“Like I said I wanted to have another dinner with you before I left.”
The mention of her leaving seemed to instantly dampen the mood and she felt guilty for bringing it up. She shouldn’t feel that way though, she knew. It wasn’t as if the topic could be ignored since she would be leaving in a matter of days.
They went through the dinner and they both did their best to not seem obvious about what was going on inside their heads. Each had a hard time with what to say and how to say it. The best part of the dinner was being in the same room together. They both knew it, but neither dared to say it.
Junior struggled with not staring at her and behaving disrespectfully as she was with figuring out her sudden attraction to him. By the time they were finished eating she needed a drink.
“I don’t usually do this, but would you like a glass of wine? Or a beer? I rarely drink but I think the occasion calls for one,” she confessed.
“That’s a great idea,” he told her and thought to himself that she had no idea how much he needed a beer.
She chose to have wine and they sat at the table and pushed their plates to the side. As they sipped at their drinks there wasn’t a lot more to say without bringing up something that neither wanted to talk about. Enough had been said the last time they had seen each other.
“Thank you for the things you brought over. I don’t remember if I thanked you then or not. Everything fits, of course.”
Smiling at him she said, “I knew they would. You both were the exact same size. Neither of you ever gained a pound no matter how much I would feed you.”
“Yeah, I guess I’ve always been lucky that way.”
Before she could think she blurted out, “Well, you’ve always looked good…I mean, well you know, like you take care of yourself.”
Her face suddenly felt like it was on fire and Junior could probably see that. He grinned without looking at her.
“Thanks,” he told her. “You’ve always looked good to me, too.”
Neither should have said what they said. The atmosphere changed dramatically because of it and a very long minute passed without another word. Finally, Junior stood and said he should leave.
“I guess I better go. I have to get up early tomorrow and no matter how much sleep I get I never get used to hearing that alarm clock.”
“I understand,” she commented, standing near him and wanting to get nearer.
“I can stay for a few more minutes and help with the dishes if you want,” he offered.
Sam took one step closer as if she lost control of her own two feet. “No, I can do them. Thank you.”
There was less than a foot between them. Their eyes were locked and their breathing had seemed to slow. He wanted to take her into his arms and kiss her. It would be a very long time before he would see her again, if ever.
She wanted to feel him kiss her. She couldn’t say why but for some reason she didn’t care at that moment. She only knew it felt right. Would she see him again? She wondered if her eyes would ever meet his again. If another moment would show itself where they would be that close again.
As her eyes began to grow heavy with the desire to fall into his arms he cleared his throat and softly spoke her name.
“Samantha.”
“Yes?”
“Please, don’t forget me.”
For a second Sam didn’t know what to say. She almost stood on her toes when he placed both hands on the sides of her heated face. She knew it was going to happen and she couldn’t stop it. She didn’t want to stop it. Junior leaned down and softly kissed her. It lasted only seconds, but the touch of his lips against hers would be embedded in her mind forever. When he pulled back he smiled painfully, removed the soft touch of his hands, and turned to the door. She remained in place, in a trance as she watched him go. He turned to look at her once more then he was gone, and her heart began the process of hurting. Again.
Epilogue
In the last few days she had in Torrington, Sam managed to get rid of the majority of what she didn’t want to keep. The Salvation Army brought a truck and a couple of guys who loaded all of it up and took it with them. It seriously made it a lot easier for her. The things she kept, like her bedroom set and a few other pieces of furniture, scattered boxes and a few large pictures, she had arranged to have it all brought to her after she got to Florida.
The hardest part for her wasn’t the last-minute packing or planning. The most difficult thing for her was dealing with her emotions. Especially, her growing feelings over Junior. She knew and accepted that she didn’t want a relationship, but she couldn’t get the memory of their kiss out of her mind. The softness of his touch as he held her face and the way his lips felt on hers.
Why hadn’t she controlled herself better? She knew, or believed at least, that the best thing to do was to not venture into anything more than friendship with him. She couldn’t allow herself to get close to another man again, not intimately. Her heart was fragile and she didn’t think her soul was much stronger in that category, either.
Since the night they had dinner she busied herself getting the last remaining tasks done and cleaning the apartment. She already talked to the landlord and he told her to simply put her key in the mail. With all the last-minute details that needed to be done before getting in her car and leaving she shouldn’t have had time to think, but her brain thought otherwise.
It was hard leaving the apartment even though she had no doubt it was best for her. It was painful to leave her friend behind. She thought about going to see him before leaving, but decided it was better to just go. It would be easier because if they saw each other again it would renew the still raw and fresh feelings within them both.
Sam got up early the morning of her departure. She had a long drive ahead of her. Her clock was set for 4:00 and the sound of it blaring near her head was a sharp reminder of everything. She already had everything ready. All she had to do was get dressed and brush her teeth and she could leave. She had packed the remaining items in her car the night before. Even her coffeemaker. So the first thing she needed to do when she pulled away from the apartment was stop at Dunkin’ Donuts and get a hot cup to go.
As she sat in her car the guilt set in on her and knew she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t leave without at least calling him and saying goodbye one more time. The clock said five minutes past five, and she wondered if he was awake. She knew he worked first shift and was an early riser so she took the chance and dialed his number. He answered on the third ring with a sleepy voice.
“Hello.”
“Good morning. Did I wake you?”
“Oh, good morning. I was lying here. I need to get up anyhow.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
She took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves. Why was she so nervous?
“I wanted to call before I left and say bye. I’m getting ready to leave now,” she told him.
She could hear him moving around in bed and he made a soft grunt as he was probably sitting up.
“So, today’s the big day,” he said. “I hope it’s a good drive and I’m glad you called. I was hoping to get to talk to you before you left.”
She smiled at his words and her heart fluttered slightly.
“I’ll give you a call when I get there, if not before. I doubt I’ll try to drive the whole way in one day. I’ll probably get a room somewhere about halfway. I’m not used to driving for that long and going the whole way alone will make it even longer.”
“How long do you think it would take?”
Never Again (Never Again Series Book 1) Page 21