The Forgetting

by Nicole Maggi

  He shook his head and half smiled. “You’ve got good instincts, Georgie.”

  I looked away. Once again, everything jumbled up inside me. These weren’t my instincts. This was Annabel’s territory. I was just a visitor in her land.

  Chapter Eleven

  I was putting on lip gloss when Ella burst into my room. “I love the decorations this year! So much better than last year.”

  “Thanks. My grandma did it all.” I smacked my lips together and turned away from the mirror. “Do I look okay?”

  Ella shifted the neckline of my top so that it bared a shoulder. “Now you do.”

  I piled my hair on top of my head. “Up or down?”

  “Definitely down.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “You got a date coming or something?”

  I laughed but didn’t answer, just grabbed my brush and ran it through my hair a few times. I hadn’t told anyone about Nate, but I knew once he showed up, Ella and Toni—not to mention my parents—would be all over me about him. My stomach gave a little flutter.

  “Seriously, do you?” Ella pressed, her eyes narrowed at me in the mirror.

  I gave her a little smile and winked. “Who knows?” And really, who did? He might not even show up. I gave myself one last appraisal in the mirror. “Okay, let’s go.”

  “Who is he? Come on, tell me!” Ella pestered me until we got downstairs and the flurry of noise and activity drowned her out. Patsy Cline warbled from the surround-sound system about walking after midnight. The doorbell rang over and over as people arrived. I stood in the hall with movement all around me and veered into the kitchen.

  “Georgie, where are you going?” Ella called after me.

  “I’ll meet you out there in a minute,” I told her. The kitchen door swung shut behind me, cutting off the noise from the living room. I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of chocolate and vanilla extract.

  “Need any help?” I asked Grandma, who was bent over the oven. She straightened, a sheet of just-baked cookies in her oven-mitted hand.

  “Would you mind frosting those?” She nodded at the cooled cupcakes on the table, half of them naked without frosting.

  “Sure.” I picked up the pastry bag and went to town. The repetition of the movement was soothing, and from my seat at the table I had a good view of the front hallway through the window in the kitchen door. No Nate yet.

  “Aren’t your friends here yet?” Grandma picked up a spatula and carefully transferred each cookie from the tray to the waiting plate.

  “Yeah, they’re out there somewhere.” I finished one plate of cupcakes and moved on to the next one. These were red velvet. I iced one and bit into it, savoring the dark chocolatey taste of it. I licked the crumbs off my fingers one by one before frosting the rest. Red velvet was my favorite—mine and mine alone. It was good to delineate what belonged to me and what belonged to Annabel. I raised my eyes to the door again. Where Nate fell, I still wasn’t sure.

  “Why don’t you go join them? I can finish that.”

  “It’s okay.” I pushed the plate of red velvet cupcakes away and pulled the last plate—pink vanilla—toward me. “It’s a little crowded out there.”

  Grandma turned and leaned against the counter. “And since when did you become so claustrophobic?”

  I shrugged without looking up. “I’m not claustrophobic.”

  “Then why are you avoiding your friends?”

  At that, I did look up. “I’m not—” I bit my lip. I was avoiding my friends, and I wasn’t sure why. At past Valentine’s Day parties, I’d held court with them in the center of the room, dominating the scene. But that was when I used to tell them everything and they knew everything there was to know about me. Now, I felt like I couldn’t talk to them at all.

  Grandma grasped my elbow with fierce gentleness and propelled me toward the door. “Go. You should be with your friends, not hiding out with your old grandma.” She gave me a kiss on the cheek and a swat on the rear and pushed me out into the hall.

  The front door opened with a harsh gust of wind that swirled around me. At its center, I heard the Catch, whispering something inside me that I couldn’t quite hear. I craned my neck around the two figures who had just come in, sure that Nate was behind them. But they were alone.

  “Hi, Mr. Lowell,” I said as the two people shed their coats and hats. “Hi, Michelle.”

  “Georgie!” Mr. Lowell boomed out. “It’s great to see you up and about!”

  “Thanks.” I took his coat. I hadn’t seen him since before my surgery, but Detective Lowell was the neighborhood cop who was friends with everyone on the block (and knew everyone’s business). His daughter, Michelle, had gone to my school. “How’s B.U., Michelle?”

  “Good. Hard.” She unwrapped a long tasseled scarf from her neck, her dark brown hair falling around her shoulders. I’d always envied her hair. I’d sworn it was the reason Josh Harris had dumped me and started dating her three years ago. We hadn’t spoken much since that happened, and then she’d graduated. I gritted my teeth as I took her coat. I’d thought I was over that—it was three years ago—but my insides were all clenched up now as I looked at her. Guess part of me was still holding on to that anger after all.

  “Come here and let me give you a hug,” Detective Lowell said, pulling me into a big bear embrace. “Did you get the flowers we sent?” he asked when he released me, still holding on to my hands.

  “Yes! They were beautiful. I’m sorry I haven’t sent a thank-you note.”

  “Oh, please. You’ve had a lot going on.” He squeezed my hands tight. Something bit into my skin and I winced. “Sorry!” Detective Lowell dropped my hands and held his up. A silver claddagh ring with a deep emerald set in the center flashed in the fairy lights strung along the staircase. “A Christmas present from Michelle.”

  “It’s a really nice ring,” I said to Michelle.

  “Yeah well, my dad is always bragging about being Irish,” she said, punching him lightly in the arm. “Figured he should have something to show for it.”

  “My little girl’s so modest.” He threw his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. Michelle rolled her eyes at me. “She had a 3.9 GPA last semester, did she tell you?”

  “Daa-aad. You’re embarrassing me.”

  “Curt!” My father charged into the hall, a wineglass in one hand, the other extended to Detective Lowell. “Great to see you!”

  “You too.” Detective Lowell gave Michelle a little push toward my dad. “You’re up, kiddo.”

  “What is it, Michelle?” Dad tried to look serious, but given that he was mildly tipsy, it didn’t work so well.

  Michelle tossed her hair and straightened her shoulders. “Well, um, I’m applying for an internship and was wondering if you would write me a recommendation.” She gave him a lopsided smile. “I mean, a recommendation from a Harvard dean would be really, really helpful.”

  “Of course! I would love to.” He tapped her arm. “Call my office on Monday so that my assistant puts it on my to-do list. Now let me get your dad a drink.”

  They disappeared into the throng of people in the living room, leaving me and Michelle alone. We stared at each other while I shifted from one foot to the other. “So, B.U. is good?” I asked, at a loss for anything else to talk about.

  She shrugged and gave a slight nod. “You still planning to go to Juilliard?”

  “That’s the plan. I still have to audition.”

  “I’m sure you’ll get in. You always get everything you want,” she added, leveling her eyes at me.

  I opened my mouth to ask her what the hell that meant, but the front door flew open and a small crowd of people tumbled in. My mother barged through me and Michelle to greet them. I turned on my heel and headed into the living room where my friends were, feeling Michelle at my back as she followed. What the hell was her probl
em? Didn’t the fact that I’d almost died prove that I actually didn’t get everything I wanted? Michelle had been popular at Hillcoate but always had a little chip on her shoulder about being there on scholarship. Looked like that chip had gotten bigger over the last couple of years.

  I made a beeline for the oversized armchair that Ella was treating as her throne. Toni and Sydney shared the ottoman like a pair of lapdogs, and a couple of boys from our school perched on the wide arms of the chair. “Hey guys, look who’s here.” I plastered a smile on my face as I gestured to Michelle. A few years ago, my parents had had to institute a no-drama rule at their parties, and I was determined to abide by it.

  “Michelle!” Sydney jumped up and gave her a hug. “So nice of you to join us precollege slugs.”

  Ella and Toni both smiled at Michelle but didn’t get up. They hadn’t forgotten the Josh Harris incident either, and I couldn’t wait to tell them about her snide remark. “How’s college?” Ella asked, her voice tight.

  “Hard.”

  I glanced sidelong at Michelle. That was the second time she’d said how hard college was. In the sparkly pink fairy lights that ringed the chair, I could just make out the dark circles under her eyes. Jeez. I got that college could be stressful, but the girl could lighten up a little.

  “I hear B.U. parties are off the hook,” Sydney said.

  “I don’t really go to parties,” Michelle said.

  “Oh, come on.” Sydney nudged her. “You can’t study all the time.”

  “You try taking chemical engineering,” Michelle said. “And my dad’s not paying thirty thousand dollars a year for me to goof off.”

  Wow. Ella and I exchanged a look. I ducked around Michelle and snuggled in next to Ella in the armchair. When we were little, we used to fit perfectly side by side in this chair. Now our backsides were crammed up against the armrests. “Looks like all work and no play makes Michelle no fun at all,” Ella muttered in my ear.

  “Wait ’til you hear about the attitude she pulled with me in the hall.”

  “Ugh, whatever. She’s in college now. We shouldn’t have to put up with her crap anymore.”

  “Right?” I glanced at Michelle. She chewed on her nail and stared out the window. “Why did she come anyway?”

  “Her dad probably dragged her. You know how he likes to show her off.”

  I elbowed Ella. “That’s mean.”

  “Oh please. You know it’s true.”

  “I know, but…” I shimmied my shoulders a little. “Whatever. Let’s not let her ruin our night. Besides, you know the rule—”

  “No drama!” we said in unison and dissolved into giggles, earning a trio of dirty looks from Toni, Sydney, and Michelle who weren’t in on the joke. Ella poked me in the side but my laughter died away. The Catch rang in my ears, louder than the music. I pulled away from Ella, the pulse in my throat quickening. Nate. Nate was here.

  “Georgie!” Mom’s voice rose over the noise but I didn’t need her to tell me. My heart fluttered like moth wings. I scrambled out of the chair and pushed my way through the crowd. It was thick now, wall-to-wall people with half-drunk wineglasses in their hands.

  When I reached the hallway, Mom’s head was bent low to Nate’s, and he was talking into her ear. “—friend of Georgie’s from All Saints.”

  Mom caught sight of me. “What’s All Saints?”

  “It’s where I’m doing all the research for that article I told you about.” I tucked my arm into hers and smiled up into her face. “Nate’s been helping me out a lot, so I thought it would be nice to return the favor and invite him to the party.”

  “My little social butterfly,” Mom said with a little eye roll to Nate. Her cheeks were tinged red; she’d had a couple of glasses of wine already. “Well, enjoy yourself.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Kendrick.”

  “Oh please, call me Liv.” She waved her hand like it was a wand and twirled off into the living room.

  Nate and I looked at each other. For the first time all night, there was no one else in the hallway. We glanced away and then back again at each other. “Can I, um, take your coat?”

  “Sure.” He shrugged it off. I laid it carefully on top of the towering pile of coats on the bench. He leaned forward and peered into the kitchen, then leaned back to look up the stairs. “Nice house.”

  “Thanks. It’s, like, a hundred and thirty years old or something. By the way,” I said in a low voice, “I told my parents that All Saints is in Jamaica Plain.”

  Nate laughed. “They’re not so keen on Murderpan, huh? Fair enough. By the way,” he said, his voice like velvet and silk, “you look great.”

  I flushed beneath his blue eyes, but I didn’t look away. “So, um, do you.”

  “Listen.” He stepped in close to me. “I may have found something out. I’m not sure what it is or if it even means anything. Another girl came to All Saints today—I’ve seen her before on the street, and I know she’s one of Jules’s girls.”

  My gaze hadn’t left his eyes and I barely registered what he was saying. The fairy lights and the romantic music and the sound of laughter filled me. At that moment, Annabel didn’t matter. She wasn’t here. I was.

  I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the kitchen. “You want a cupcake?”

  “Sure.” He let me drag him along. “So she told me about this place—”

  I plucked a cupcake from the tiered platter and held it up to him. “You like red velvet?”

  “Yeah, I do.” He took the cupcake but didn’t bite into it. “So this place she told me about—”

  “Nate.”

  He stopped and squinted at me. “Yeah?”

  “It’s a party. Let’s have fun.”

  “Oh.” He looked around him and took in the twinkling lights, the loud music and merriment. “Right.”

  I took his arm and led him back toward the living room. “You do know how to have fun, don’t you?”

  He halted in the middle of the hall. “You know…it’s been a long time since I’ve had some fun. I’m always working or at All Saints.”

  My heart squeezed. I fought the urge to hug him hard and just touched his hand instead. “Well, tonight it’s your job to forget all that.” I pointed at the cupcake in his hand. “Sugar always helps.”

  Without taking his eyes off me, Nate took a big bite, leaving a dollop of frosting at the corner of his lip. Before I could stop myself, I wiped it off and licked my finger. His eyes darkened to such a deep blue that I couldn’t breathe. “Georgie…”

  “Hear ye, hear ye!” Dad’s voice made us both stumble away from each other. We gravitated toward the threshold of the living room and watched Dad climb onto a chair. The room quieted and Colt turned down the music. “Liv and I have this party every year, but this year it has particular meaning for us.” Dad leveled his gaze at me. “Someone once told me, just before Georgie was born, to get ready to wear my heart outside of my body. And it is true. Our children are our hearts manifested.”

  In the twinkling light, his eyes were shiny. “And there is nothing scarier than almost losing your heart, as we almost lost Georgie.” His voice quavered a little. I shifted from one foot to the other, uncomfortably aware of Nate’s eyes on me. “But we didn’t, and so tonight we celebrate the heart and the power of love. To Georgie!”

  “To Georgie,” the room echoed. Colt turned the music back up and the chatter began again.

  I grabbed a cookie off a nearby plate and bit into it, avoiding Nate’s stare. He reached around me and took a cookie for himself. “What was that all about?”

  I took a long time chewing and swallowing the rest of my cookie. “Remember I told you I was sick?”

  Nate searched my face. “I didn’t realize it was that serious.”

  “It was pretty bad,” I admitted. “But I’m fine—”

  “Georg
ie!” Ella came up from behind me and draped her arms around my neck. “We almost lost you!”

  Nate backed away as Ella and Toni tackled me, mimicking my dad’s sappy speech. “Yeah, yeah,” I said, “you can’t get rid of me that easily.” I disentangled myself from them. At the same moment, they spotted Nate.

  “Hi,” Ella said, extending her hand. “I’m Ella.”

  “Nate.”

  Ella grinned as she pumped his hand, flicking her gaze between him and me. “Nate, huh? Funny…Georgie hasn’t mentioned you.”

  “Does she tell you everything?” Nate asked.

  “Pretty much.”

  “Okay, okay,” I said, stepping in between them, which forced Ella to drop Nate’s hand. “I don’t tell you everything.”

  “Clearly.” The wicked grin was still on her face, but I could tell there was an undercurrent of hurt beneath it because I hadn’t told her about Nate. “Guess she wanted to keep you a secret.”

  I slid an impatient look at Nate and pulled Ella into the corner, out of earshot. “I met him at that church I’ve been going to. You know, to research that article.”

  Ella squeezed my arm. “Why didn’t you tell me you met a guy? That’s major!”

  “I know, I just…” I couldn’t come up with an excuse fast enough. “I’m sorry.”

  “You can make it up to me by giving me all the details.” She pinched me. “And I do mean all.”

  I swallowed. That would be a challenge…

  “Tomorrow,” Ella added and spun me around to give me a little push toward Nate. He was chatting with Toni, who kept glancing over her shoulder at us. We joined them and I introduced Nate around to my other friends. The guys sized him up and the other girls looked him over, asking him all sorts of inappropriate questions.

  Only Michelle seemed uninterested. She was nursing a long-necked beer in the shadows, even though I was pretty sure she wasn’t twenty-one yet. Seriously? With her cop father in the same room? She met my eyes over her beer, her gaze hard and challenging. I shrugged. Whatever. Like I told Ella, I wasn’t going to let her ruin my night.