Noni worried about Jacinta and the added burden of the maternity ward’s possible reduction of services. It was less than two weeks until Dr Soams’s retirement, and if she lost her job there’d be a major lifestyle change for them all.
She’d have to travel to the base hospital and wouldn’t get the day shifts through the week she had now. She’d see less of Harley and Aunt Win could lose her time away if Noni had to work weekends. And the money she budgeted to increase her savings would be hit severely with the cost of travel.
Then there was Iain. Okay, she realised she could be falling for the guy, but she’d never been in love before. How did she know if it was the real thing or just the proximity of a particularly attractive set of shoulders tricking her? He’d only been here a month.
All weekend Iain had been obsessed with his quest, phoning people, setting up appointments in the city, and Noni had seemed to become invisible. She’d tried to stay that way, too, wary in case he started on again about Jacinta’s mother not informing him of her birth.
The only happy person was Harley. His cricket team had won again. He still practised every day with Iain. But even his wonderful, exciting, man-bubble burst when he found out Iain was going away on Monday. Noni had no idea how he’d missed that piece of information. She’d done nothing but think of it all weekend.
It happened as the sun slanted into the kitchen at lunchtime on Sunday. Noni began to peel potatoes for later that night. Harley sat munching an apple.
She glanced at her son. ‘Ian will be away for a week. It’s nice that Jacinta is staying with us even though her father will be away.’
His face fell and Noni’s hand paused. Hadn’t he known?
Then he instantly brightened again. ‘Can I go with him, Mummy?’
She blinked. She tried to imagine Iain and Harley in the medical-records department of a large Sydney Hospital together and almost laughed. ‘Don’t be silly.’
For her impudence she got ‘the look’. As if she’d just slithered from under a rock as a two-headed monster. Harley’s glare was a bit too reminiscent of Iain for her liking. ‘That wasn’t very dip-lo-mat-ic, Mummy.’
Noni dropped the peeler and sat back. She played back what she’d said in her mind. Oops. ‘You’re right. I’m sorry, Harley. I’ll explain what I meant.’ She gave him her full attention. ‘No, you can’t go with Iain because he’s travelling all the way to Sydney. And we’ve only known him for a month. You haven’t even stayed over at a friend’s house. He’ll see lots of people in big hospitals. He won’t be able to spend time with you and you won’t be able to be with him while he talks to people you don’t know.’ She was proud of the sense of all of those arguments.
Harley’s face screwed up as he frowned fiercely. Then understanding slowly seeped into the sinking, sad little shoulders, until he lifted his head in thought – a tiny glimmer of hope still not extinguished. Finally he said, ‘Can I ask him, anyway?’
Noni felt her heart squeeze. Poor little man. She hoped Iain would be kinder when he said no. And unkindly for Iain, she hoped she’d be there to see Iain’s face when he did. Harley’s imploring eyes were most impressive. ‘If you want to. But he can’t say yes. And if he does I’ll still say no. But how about we think about you staying at your friends when he’s away? Then you won’t miss him. Nathan’s mummy has asked.’
They were sitting around the table with sandwiches an hour later when it happened.
‘Iain?’ Harley had his I’m-an-angel look on his face.
Iain looked up from his plate where he’d been glaring into some distant past. Noni saw the moment when his strong jaw relaxed as his thoughts returned to the room. ‘Yes, mate?’
‘Can I come to Sydney with you, please?’ Iain didn’t say anything and Harley rushed on, ‘I’ve never been to Sydney. I wouldn’t be a nuisance and I know you have to talk to lots of people. I could sit in the car and make sure it didn’t get stolen. Mummy said once that lots of cars get stolen in Sydney.’
Iain met Noni’s eyes across the table. She looked blandly back. Never for a moment did she think he might say yes.
‘If you agree to sit in chairs in buildings, and not mind my car, and it’s okay with your mummy, you can come.’
She knew he saw her mouth drop open. It was a wonder the table didn’t fall into it. She felt as though her stomach had dropped to land on her feet. She felt sick. The rat. Now she’d have to fix this mess with Harley. Her own stupid fault for not forbidding her son to ask. As if she’d let him take her baby away. He’d never spent a night away from her.
Harley whooped most indecorously, Iain continued with his sandwich as if it was no big deal, and Jacinta looked at Noni with her eyebrows raised as an interested bystander. Noni covered her mouth with her hand and looked in horror back at Jacinta.
Not surprisingly, Harley didn’t notice his mother’s expression. He was smiling too hard and obviously imagining the treat in technicolour detail. As a last-minute thought he said, ‘I can go, can’t I, Mummy? You said I could ask him.’
Her brain had seized. ‘No. I’m sorry, Harley. Not this time.’ He looked at her like she’d put a garden stake through Buzz Lightyear until his face crumpled and he jumped up and ran out of the room.
She sighed and caught Iain’s eye on her. ‘Great work,’ she said bitterly. She pushed away her plate and got up. ‘I’m going for a walk.’ She couldn’t stay sitting at this table with everyone looking at her. She had to get away and think about how badly she’d handled this. Maybe she could let Harley go to his friend’s. She’d known the parents for years. Gone to school with Cath. But she’d never been without her son. She had only just become used to her baby going to school. Nobody had ever minded Harley except Aunt Win and her. All this was Iain’s fault because he’d said yes. Why couldn’t he have said no?
As she stood, dimly she heard the scrape of another chair, and someone else stood up.
‘I’ll come too.’ It was Iain’s voice.
‘So I’m stuck with the washing up. I thought I was the guest.’ Jacinta’s complaint followed.
Noni turned her head. ‘Leave it. I’ll do it when I come back.’
‘I would appreciate if you could do it, Jacinta.’ Her father’s voice cut across, low and expressionless, and his daughter hauled herself out of the chair and started clearing the table.
Noni breathed deeply when she hit the night air on the verandah. She could just smell the tang of the river, which meant the breeze blew their way. She felt Iain come up behind her and take her elbow. She shook off his arm.
He didn’t try again.
‘I’m heading down towards the river.’
‘Fine.’ He fell into step with her, but a little too fast, and Noni found herself skipping every second step to keep up.
After a little while, she stopped, and planted her hands on her hips. ‘Hey. This is my walk. Slow down or go on your own.’
He looked down at her shorter legs next to his. ‘Just a simple “Could you slow down, please, Iain?” would have been sufficient.’
She narrowed her eyes. She was the wronged one here. He’d expected her to let him take her baby to Sydney; had opened up the whole can of worms of her possessiveness with Harley, then dumped the whole permission thing in her lap and now her son hated her. ‘In your dreams. Keep your own pace and leave me alone.’
He didn’t start again when she did and she went a few paces before she realised he’d fallen behind. She stopped.
His voice followed her. ‘Did you want to have a fight, or just bicker a bit for the fun of it?’
‘Whatever you want, Doctor.’ She stood there belligerently. She felt small, but by God she felt fierce. Her feet were planted firmly on the ground and her fists were clenched.
He came up to her and admired her stance. ‘Actually, I didn’t mean fisticuffs. I could offer you sympathy.’
Despite herself she wanted that comfort. Wanted to rest her head on his broad chest and sob for the hurt she’d cau
sed Harley. For the pain of the five-year-old boy she’d never had problems with. For the absolute devastation of hurt that Harley could consider leaving her for five days without a pang. It was probably the beginning of the end of peaceful mothering.
‘So? Can I hug you?’
She didn’t answer but Iain did it anyway. He gently pulled her towards him and into his arms. She stood there rigid, her spine unbending, refusing to soften. She heard his breath whistle as he half laughed, before he bent down to look into her face.
‘So. Resistance.’ His finger touched the tip of her nose, then he kissed her there. Light as a moth.
Who said anything about kissing? But at the first touch of his mouth on her skin she knew she was lost. Rigid – but lost.
Then he kissed her again, her brow and her cheek and the spot under her lips and the side of her mouth. Light touches, tiny flutters of warm lips and breath against her skin that made her want things she shouldn’t want. Wanting him to catch her mouth with his and make the pain go away.
Then he leaned forward and kissed her neck and, finally, as light as a feather again, on her lips. It felt so right, but she couldn’t allow herself to respond even though every part of her wanted to. He stepped back.
‘Hmm.’ He took her hand and pulled her gently along until she fell into step with his slower walk. ‘How about I tell you a story?’
She didn’t say anything and he took it as encouragement. A story? Not what she’d expected. But then he did that a lot.
Iain said musingly, ‘Once upon a time, there was a ferocious, white-haired mother ferret.’
‘Ferret. Great, I’m a short, stumpy, white-haired ferret.’
He shook his head. ‘You’re so vain! What makes you think I’m talking about you?’
She reached up and flicked him in the arm.
He went on. ‘I think ferrets are cute. Where was I? Oh, yes, a ferocious mother ferret. There was no father ferret and she was very protective of her baby ferret. By the way, she named him after a motorbike.’
Noni saw his teeth flash again and she had to smile. ‘Get on with the story.’
‘One day one of the handsome senior ferrets, who quite fancied this mother ferret, offered to take the baby ferret for a field trip. The mother ferret said no. She was very frightened in case something happened to her baby while she wasn’t there to watch over him.’ He looked down at her. ‘Are you following this?’
‘Don’t push your luck!’
He mournfully shook his head. ‘But the mother ferret should have known that the handsome senior ferret would have taken care of the baby ferret as if he were his own. In fact, he intended to leave his own baby ferret with her to keep safe while he was away.’
‘Is there a moral to this story?’
‘How about, “You mind my ferret and I’ll mind yours”?’
She laughed, but to her mortification the sound turned into half a sob. ‘Your ferret is seventeen. Mine’s five.’
Iain stopped and turned her to him. This time she softened as she leaned against him. ‘It’s okay, sweetheart. I understand he can’t come with me. I agree now I’ve thought about it more, but the boy is getting older. There will come a time when you have to let him go. You’ve done such a great job as his mum that when you do, he’ll be fine.’
‘Yes. I know. It’ll do him good to get away from his mother when it happens. I might even ask one of the mothers if he can stay with his friend for a night, or a few days if he doesn’t miss me.’ She glared at him. ‘At least while you’re away and he’s heartbroken.’
He hugged her and kissed the top of her head. ‘You are a wonderful, stupendous, fabulous mother, and he’s a very lucky little boy.’
She barely heard him. ‘How long are you gone for?’
He threw back his head and laughed. He squeezed her once and then let her go. ‘Five days. The research into what happened to Adele might take a while. Harley probably won’t stay at his friends that long.’
She did feel better. They turned around and started walking home, and, somehow, her hand became caught in his and stayed there. When they arrived outside the gate he stopped and pulled her gently into her arms. ‘I’ll be back on Friday before you get home from the antenatal class,’ he said quietly.
He bent his head and she stretched up as high as she could until their lips met. When she drew away he smacked his lips. ‘Mmm. I’ve never kissed a ferret before.’
She flicked him again and he chased her into the house.
Iain left before Noni went to work the next morning. He’d spoken to Harley and whatever he’d said had stiffened her son’s upper lip and caused him to come to his mother and apologise. Then he’d asked to stay at his friend’s house for the four nights. Noni silently hoped he’d get homesick before then, and agreed.
Iain gave Noni five hundred dollars for baby shopping with Jacinta if they got the chance. Harley watched without complaining and glanced at his packed bag on the floor beside the door.
For some reason Noni felt like crying as the rear of Iain’s car disappeared down the street.
Aunt Win put her arm around her, but Noni knew she too was still in shock that Harley had asked to go on his first sleepover.
Chapter Twenty-six
Win
Win hugged Noni but couldn’t help shaking her head. How the heck had that happened? She would have lost that bet if someone had challenged her to put a stake on Noni’s permission for Harley to stay overnight anywhere for four nights. Even if she did know the parents.
When she’d left her niece on Saturday everything had seemed fairly normal, except for the fact that they’d found out about Jacinta’s mother. Win had been more concerned by Noni’s growing attraction to Iain than anything else.
She and Greg had had a hilarious weekend, with Greg’s initiation into naturism being surprisingly smooth and lighthearted. That man had many hidden depths and made her wonder if it had been her own prejudices keeping her single. Unfortunately they’d missed their lunch because he’d been called in for a child with croup. And then a man with chest pain had put an end to any chance of a recovery. He’d sounded most frustrated when he’d called it off. Muttering that ‘retirement couldn’t come quickly enough’.
Win had almost felt relieved because she would have liked to talk with Noni about her relationship with Greg, but her niece had so much on her mind Win couldn’t find a good time. She could also see Noni was struggling with her own attraction to a man. The jury was out on Iain’s intentions, though Greg seemed to think Iain was an honourable man.
Win sighed. She might just have to miss the next few weekends with her friends until Jacinta had her baby and their lodgers left.
Noni turned away as the car disappeared from view. ‘Harley won’t miss Iain if he goes to Nathan’s,’ she said. ‘He’ll be fine.’
‘Yes, he will. And if he gets homesick, we’ll just pick him up.’ Win put in as much cheeriness as she could. ‘This is a big adventure for him.’
Noni’s strangled laugh made Win smile. At least she’d had that much response. ‘The best thing you can do is have some girl time with Jacinta, and make sure she has everything ready for the baby. We could go on a baby-shower trip into Wagga?’
‘Sure,’ Noni said. ‘Maybe late-night shopping on Thursday night, after I finish work. It’ll give us something to look forward to.’
‘It won’t hurt Harley to miss you. And you won’t have a five-year-old demanding your every moment. Why not do some pampering this week? You never have time for that. Take Jacinta and you could both get your hair done late Wednesday, and your toenails late Tuesday. You loved that when you were pregnant, remember?’
Win saw the surprise on Noni’s face. The puzzled impression of a bizarre suggestion that wasn’t so bizarre. That’s right, she thought. Maybe it is a good thing your son is away for a few days. And she waited for Noni to complete her thought processes.
Noni shook her head as she considered it. ‘Is it five years sin
ce I walked into the nail bar and had something done?’
Win glanced sideways. ‘I believe it is,’ she said judiciously. ‘And Jacinta lost her mother. She’s been living hand to mouth. She might enjoy something new to take her mind off the coming weeks. Go get your hair done together. Have a few days of girlie stuff. I’ll treat you. I’m rich.’
Noni laughed and hugged her. ‘You are not rich. But you’ve taught me to save and I can afford a few pamper sessions. I don’t do it enough by your standards.’ Her mouth tilted into a smile as Win ushered her back inside.
‘There’s nothing wrong with a standing appointment to have your nails done every fortnight.’ Win glanced down. Hers always shone with some new gel design her long-suffering nail artist had to copy from Win’s phone. ‘I found some lovely Pinterest pins with feathers. You might like that?’
There was absolutely nothing wrong with the little pleasures if you were sensible with other things, Win thought.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Jacinta
‘Pedicures with shellac are bad.’ Jacinta squinted at her pink exfoliated feet and shiny black toenail polish.
‘Bad as in bad, or bad as in good?’ Noni said as she climbed awkwardly out of her own pedicure chair and reached for her wallet.
Jacinta knew Noni wasn’t sure about copying Jacinta’s choice of colour, if black could be called a colour, but as far as she was concerned, both pairs of feet looked perfect.
Jacinta looked at the small woman who had become more of a friend than a landlady or midwife in the last few weeks, but especially in the last three days. She had no idea of street slang, which was a little sad, as if Noni had had to grow old too soon. Still, she was the one Jacinta had just shared her first pedicure with. And seeing as how her new dad was loaded with cash, maybe it wouldn’t be her last trip to the beautician’s. ‘Bad as in good. GOAT. Greatest of all time,’ she added to tease. Not that she used that expression herself.
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