‘We have an appointment with a cardiac specialist on Monday in Canberra, and Dr Soams will run a few tests in regards to a bleeding disorder they also found with Adele. It hasn’t shown up in any of the other tests you’ve had, so that’s unlikely as well,’ he told Jacinta. ‘Unless something shows up I believe what happened to your mother won’t happen to you.’
There was silence in the room as his words died away. Jacinta stared into the empty fireplace and Noni’s eyes traced the lines of strain on Iain’s face. It hadn’t been easy for him, either.
Jacinta slipped out from under father’s arm and looked unflinchingly up at him. ‘Thank you for finding out. I think I’ll go to bed now. Goodnight.’ She didn’t look at either of them as she left the room and silence settled again.
Finally, Iain said, ‘Would you like me to carry Harley up to his room?’
Noni hugged her son and smiled at the little snoring noises he’d started to make. ‘Yes, thanks, he’s out for the count.’
Iain lifted him and she wriggled the blood back into her legs before standing up. Her baby boy was getting quite heavy. It made her catch her breath to see her son lying in Iain’s arms, and she had a brief flash of other times he and Harley had shared.
It was going to be hard on both Harley and her when Iain and Jacinta went back to Sydney. Very, very hard.
Noni had to hurry to beat Iain to her son’s room and turn back the sheets. She tucked them around Harley’s shoulders when Iain had laid him down. She stood back then straightened his head on the pillow. He grunted and rolled himself into a ball, anyway.
It was so good to have Harley home. She felt as if someone had stitched her limb back on. She reached over to kiss his cheek. ‘Love you, baby.’
She heard Iain leave the room and she stayed where she was, brushing the hair from her son’s forehead as she thought about the changes in their lives these last few weeks. She also thought about the changes to come.
The arrival of Jacinta’s baby.
The sexual tension building between her and Iain.
The prospect of Iain and Jacinta leaving not long after that.
She rubbed her forehead. Iain was starting to occupy a huge part of her daily life, even just in the number of times she thought about him. Little memories of the way he laughed. How she was starting to hoard anecdotes of incidents she knew would amuse him. The hard part was to try to keep things in perspective. Especially when all she wanted to do was lose herself in his arms.
She’d missed him this week. More than she would have believed possible a couple of weeks ago. But she had to be sure of both their feelings before she did something stupid like say she’d fallen in love. If she could stop herself.
She stood up. ‘Sweet dreams, Harley.’ She pulled the door half closed behind her so that she would hear him if he called out, and walked slowly back down the stairs to the library.
Iain was reading the newspaper in the chair, but Noni’s lips twitched when she noticed it was upside down. It was nice to know she wasn’t the only one who didn’t know what to do about their mounting attraction.
‘So, can stockbrokers read columns upside down?’ she teased.
He turned the paper round the right way. ‘Ah. That’s much better, thanks.’ He folded the paper and tucked it into the side of the chair and stood up.
He looked at her like she was the best thing he’d seen all day. Maybe he’d missed her, too. Noni felt her face heat with the intensity of his scrutiny. He shoved his hands into his pockets as if to stop himself reaching out for her as she stood there. Tilting his head, he spoke. ‘I’m trying to guess what you’re thinking.’
She wished. Most of the time she was an open book. ‘What you see is what you get.’
‘What you get is pretty special,’ he said softly. ‘Is there much chance of you coming over here?’
She shook her head and they stood there, staring at each other across the room.
‘How about we meet, say, at the table?’
Noni pursed her lips and nodded, and they both moved forward until they were standing together, almost touching. The top of her head rested under his chin and her face was level with his second top button.
His deep voice drifted down to her. ‘You know, I’ve put some thought to this positional problem we have. Would you like to hear it?’
‘Uh-huh.’ She nodded her head, but she was actually savouring the faint drifts of aftershave that teased her nose. She really wanted to open that button of his shirt and bury her nose in his chest.
‘Better yet, I’ll show you.’ He took her hand and knelt down on the floor, pulling her down on her knees as well. ‘I think it could get better,’ he said.
Still holding her hand, they lay down on the carpet with elbows resting on the floor and their noses almost touching.
‘That’s better. Would you like to hear about my trip to Sydney?’
She wanted his arms around her. It was crazy and she felt like she was balancing on the edge of some dangerous cliff.
Noni frowned. ‘I’m not really comfortable. Can we go up to my room and lie on my big bed and talk there?’
She watched him blink and try to keep his face expressionless, but she saw the flare of emotion in his eyes. Her own lips twitched.
Iain was on his feet and pulling her up after him before she knew what was happening. ‘Hmm, that’s a hard one. Okay.’
He dragged her behind him at a very fast walk and Noni started to giggle. They climbed up the stairs to the top, where they slowed to an exaggerated creep past Harley’s door and into Noni’s room.
Iain stopped inside the door and looked around.
‘I really didn’t take much notice that first day you had sunstroke. I’ve been trying to remember what your room was like. It’s like I’ve walked into an underwater cavern.’
She’d chosen solid colours, different shades of blue and green in the curtains and the bedcover, and all the furniture was painted dark blue.
‘I’ve never seen anything like it,’ he said. ‘It’s very restful.’
‘What were you doing, imagining my room?’
He grinned at her. ‘Purely from an interest in interior decoration, of course.’
‘I thought you were a surgeon. Or was that a stockbroker?’
‘Yes, we have to talk about that.’
Noni stared at him. There was more? ‘Help me fix these pillows so we can sit up comfortably, then.’
She felt him watching her and thought again about how much she’d missed him. How would she feel if he went back to Sydney in a few weeks and she never saw him again? She sat up with her back against the wall and patted the bed beside her. She tried to keep her voice normal.
‘Tell me about your week. I’m dying to know how you found all that information about Adele.’
Iain climbed up next to her and nudged her forward so he could slip his arm behind her shoulders. She snuggled against his chest and looked into his face. ‘This is so much more comfortable.’
It wasn’t really. It was hard to stay sane. What had possessed her to suggest coming up here? As if she didn’t know. Then she remembered that he hadn’t even spoken to her on the phone once while he’d been away. She needed to hold that thought.
He looked at her as though he liked what he saw, and then leaned over to kiss her firmly on the lips before sitting back as if he’d been perfectly circumspect. ‘Ready?’
‘Before you begin, I have a bone to pick with you.’
He sighed. ‘It must be my technique. I kiss you and your mind ricochets off and remembers some trivia.’ A long suffering sigh, then, ‘What is it?’
Noni had noticed the kiss, but … ‘You rang that woman and yet you didn’t ask to speak to me once while you were gone.’ She sat back away from his chest and folded her arms.
She watched him bite his lip to stop smiling. Smug. She hated that.
He held up his hands, in an innocent plea. ‘I didn’t ring to talk to Penelope. I rang to ask her
father about Jacinta’s antenatal visit. But, yes, I spoke to her and not to you.’
Noni’s elbows came up and then down again as she sat with her arms crossed. ‘Why not?’
He pretended to frown. ‘Do ferrets sulk?’
She sighed heavily. ‘Don’t start that again!’
Iain laughed out loud then. He pulled her resisting body back onto his chest and kissed the top of her head. ‘Because I missed you like crazy and I wanted to talk to you in person, not over a stupid phone. I picked it up plenty of times to do it but I knew it would just make me miss you more. All right?’
He stared into her eyes and eventually, she had to let it lie, because she had the feeling it was the truth. But really?
‘Okay.’ She uncrossed her arms. ‘You can start telling me about Sydney now.’ She slid off his chest to scoot down a little beside him, then snuggled in as close as she could get. Unconsciously, her hand lifted to play with the button she’d wanted to undo on his shirt.
Noni felt his chest rise as he drew a deep breath and then his hand covered hers.
‘If you keep doing that I’m not going to be talking at all. Maybe we should go back to being uncomfortable on the library floor.’
She lifted her hand. ‘I’ll be good.’
‘Why doesn’t that make me feel better?’ He sighed again just to tease her. ‘Fine. I arrived on Monday afternoon and my flat was musty and lonely on my own. Did I tell you it overlooks Luna Park, beside the harbour? Harley would love it.’
She shook her head. ‘You haven’t told me anything about your life in Sydney.’ Or your work. Or your family, if you have any. But she thought she’d better save those gripes for later.
She tuned in again and had to concentrate to catch up.
‘I connected with some people I know who have access to the particular hospital concerned, and arranged a visit for late that afternoon.’
She was sceptical it had been that easy, but she didn’t say anything. The heat that was building between them made her fingers itch to roam his skin. On an impulse she reached over and kissed the little triangle of skin below the collar of his shirt.
He turned to face her. ‘How about I just kiss that bit of skin on you?’
‘I don’t think so.’ She waved at him. ‘On with the story.’ But she’d been well and truly derailed and was enjoying the vibration of his voice more than the information he was giving.
He tut-tutted. ‘Very unsportsmanlike. Anyway, my housekeeper is a whiz on the internet and she tracked down Adele’s old residential address.’
‘Hang on. Housekeeper? Should I be jealous?’
Iain rolled his eyes. ‘She’s a grandmother.’
‘So? You’ll be a grandfather and you’re sexy.’
He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively a few times, then became serious. ‘She’s thirty years older than me. But thank you, kind lady. Now, let me finish this so we can move onto other things.’
Other things, eh? Noni snuggled back and rested her cheek on his shoulder, dreaming a little about other things, until she remembered she should be listening and all of this was very important to Jacinta.
‘I’ve studied all of the notes and findings for Adele’s case. Apparently, she’d had chest pain most of the day so it would have been pretty scary for Jacinta at home with her even before she’d started to have the hemorrhage.’
She squeezed his arm in sympathy.
‘On Wednesday, we discovered the name of Adele’s boyfriend and traced him to Redfern. He wasn’t as bad as I’d worried he’d be. He’s still upset over Adele’s and the baby’s death. And he seemed genuinely relieved I had Jacinta. He’d heard she was pregnant but said she hadn’t spoken to him since her mother died. Said she blamed him, but he blamed himself, anyway. I’m pretty sure he didn’t know about Adele’s medical history or I think he would have taken her to hospital earlier. Hopefully, he can get on with his life now that he knows a bit more.’
She squeezed his arm again. ‘You did well tracking everyone down. I also think Jacinta will be more settled now that she knows.’
‘I hope so.’ This time the toll of remorse showed clearly from his expression. ‘I don’t think her mother had much of a life – in fact, I think it was borderline poverty for most of Jacinta’s childhood. I’ve got a lot of making up to do.’ He seemed to shake himself to get rid of the guilt that plagued him.
‘Friday afternoon, I could finally access the coroner’s report, then dropped in at work, and began the drive home after lunch.’
He said ‘home’. Noni heard it, no mistake. That had to mean something.
He slid his arm out from under her shoulders and clasped his hands behind his neck with an innocent expression on his face. ‘So that’s my story. What are we going to do now?’
‘Why, talk about my week, of course.’ She leaned across and kissed him on the lips.
His hands moved from behind his neck faster than she could shift away, and he captured her face and rolled her body onto him in one movement. She was resting on his chest, looking into his face, before she knew it. The muscular hardness of his body was firm under hers and she felt the fever he caused in her bubbling away below the surface. If she didn’t move now she was going to spontaneously combust.
He seemed quite happy about it, though. ‘Now, that’s a comfortable position for us to talk,’ he said.
She sat up, placing her legs on either side of his body, and tucked her knees up to sit upright on his chest, looking down. ‘Ha! I’m looking down on you for a change.’
‘I can cope with this.’ He lifted his hips and she rose in the air. ‘Ride me, cowgirl.’
Noni blushed. Not just a little, but a consuming, hot-cheeked, cherry-red crimson. She felt his hardness through the clothes they wore and the heat glowed in her belly in response. She needed some space between them. Now.
She fanned her face. ‘Ah, I’d better get down from here. I think my horse is smarter than I am.’ She slid off his chest and sat, with her feet tucked up under her bottom. Struggled to talk sensibly. ‘Maybe we should leave this room. Go somewhere you can hear about my week?’
His expression became ever so slightly remote and she wasn’t surprised when he said, ‘Love to, but if we’re moving, can we get something to eat first?’
He was slipping off his side of the bed as he spoke, and Noni narrowed her eyes as she watched him move towards the door.
She didn’t say anything. He’d deliberately cut her off. Why? There had to be a reason because she really didn’t believe he was that shallow. She hoped, anyway. But she couldn’t help the disappointment that gnawed at her. She jumped off the bed and followed him.
Noni never did get to tell him about her week. By the time she’d made a late supper and Aunt Win had reappeared, after ‘giving them time to catch up’, it never made its way into the conversation. She wondered if her side of the story ever would.
When she lay in bed that night, she mulled over Iain’s active disinterest in her work at the hospital. Did he have a reason or was he just incredibly self-centred? Did she have room in her life for someone who might be fairly demanding and yet give only a small piece of himself back?
Maybe she was better off keeping the status quo. But what would she do about the fact that she was starting to feel only half alive when he wasn’t around?
Chapter Thirty
Noni
After an early finish at Saturday cricket, they arrived home in separate cars as Noni had refused Iain’s offer of transport. She planned to try to avoid him as she grappled with her confused thoughts and feelings, which had become worse. She really didn’t have any prior experience to draw on, and she hated not knowing what she was doing.
The few times that morning Iain had tried to engage her in conversation she’d been very unforthcoming. Now, as she came through the door he held open for her, she pulled her body noticeably out of the way, avoiding any possibility of brushing up against him.
Aunt Win looked at both
of them and pulled her cardigan tighter across her shoulders. ‘Brr,’ she said. ‘Chilly in here.’
Iain frowned and disappeared into the hallway.
Win stopped beside Noni and said quietly, ‘Do you want me to stay home this weekend, honey?’ They were in the kitchen and Win was about to leave. She tilted her head and searched Noni’s face.
Noni almost said yes. But she was a big girl. ‘No. We’ll manage fine. You have your time out. If my work problems don’t resolve themselves there might be too few of your weekends to come.’
The older woman hugged her. ‘Don’t worry, Noni. We’ll manage, whatever happens.’ She picked up her bag and keys. ‘Don’t let a man get you down. But don’t be stubborn either.’ With those cryptic comments she opened the door and sailed out.
‘Yeah, right. That makes sense,’ Noni grumbled at the closed door.
‘What makes sense?’ Iain had come back down the stairs as Win shut the door.
‘You and your ears are getting right up my nose this weekend. I’ll be glad when you’re gone.’ She knew it was a terrible thing to say – plus, it wasn’t true – but she couldn’t do anything about it now that it was out. She pushed past him and ran up the stairs to her bedroom.
Noni lay across her bed. This was so unlike her. She hated these see-saw emotions Iain brought out in her. She hated not being in control. For the last five years, with Aunt Win’s help, she’d known where she stood and where she was going.
She’d really enjoyed Iain’s company for the first few weeks; she’d enjoyed their verbal sparring. But she had to admit she was starting to think serious thoughts about him, like worrying about his relationship with Jacinta and trying to heal the breach between them. She ached for his guilt at not helping Adele and worried about how he was going to cope with Jacinta in labour – and after the baby was born. His voice gave her shivers and she loved the little gestures that amused her, like opening doors for her and worrying about her safety. But it had only been five weeks. And he’d been away for one of those, so she was being foolish to fall for a man she really didn’t know.
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