Isadora
Page 42
‘Emperor Falco of Sancia,’ Falco said, holding out a hand.
Without looking at him, Thorne said, ‘The boy who plays at being a man and has his city snatched out from under him. The boy who lets men reclaim his throne for him.’
My anger erupted. ‘I’ve never cut out the tongue of a ghost before. I wonder if they bleed like the living.’
King Thorne turned to behold me, and his expression changed. He took a deep breath through his nose and smiled wolfishly. His eyes were alight with a strange fascination as they moved over my body and face. ‘And what kind of creature are you?’ he asked softly. The only way to describe his voice was to call it a growl.
‘Just a woman,’ I replied, holding his eyes.
‘A blood and snow woman. An ice woman.’ His smile widened, and when his gaze darted back to Falco he gave a low rumble of laughter. ‘This one has more spirit than you, boy. Endeavour to fight in her shadow and you might just last the night.’
With that he strode back down the ridge to talk with his brother. It felt a little like a hurricane had passed through.
Falco and I shared a look, and he started laughing. After a few seconds even I cracked a grin. Things weren’t often better than the stories described them.
Falco
We could have moved. We should have – the moon was barely there, the night dark. But Ambrose seemed to want one last night with his family, and for that I could hardly blame him. After all, it was me who’d asked him to endanger each of their lives for a cause not his own. So I sat with them, looking around at their faces and realising that this was my family too. Ava and Ambrose had a daughter in each of their laps. Sadie was giggling as she fed her father his bread, purposely missing his mouth and shrieking as he snapped his teeth at her fingers. King Thorne was next to his brother, gently holding Roselyn’s hand and talking softly with his son. Finn was upright, sipping at whisky to calm her nerves and leaning her head wearily on Jonah’s shoulder. I couldn’t see Penn anywhere, nor Izzy.
After a quick search I found them sitting on a branch of a mangrove at the edges of the marshes, silently swinging their legs in time with each other. ‘Come on, you two,’ I bid. ‘Join the party.’
Penn jumped down happily, but Izzy shook her head.
I walked closer. ‘I want you beside me.’
She hesitated a long moment, then allowed herself to be tugged back to the group. All eyes went immediately to our linked hands as she sat beside me.
‘You two are the biggest idiots I have ever met,’ Finn snapped. ‘I’m really glad we all went through what we did for nothing.’
Izzy removed her hand from mine, dropping her eyes. I sighed, levelling Finn with a look. ‘Isadora and I are only here because we broke the bond, that I can assure you. We owe you for that.’
Her expression softened. ‘If you say so, Fal.’
I turned to King Thorne. ‘Have they explained why you’re here?’
‘To fight,’ came the rumbling reply. Oh, to be such a simple creature.
‘We were waiting for you, Fal,’ Ambrose said.
I glanced at Ella and Sadie. ‘It might be bedtime for the twins.’
‘Just five more minutes, Da?’ Finn whined, winking at Ella and Sadie so they exploded with laughter.
‘They can hear anything you have to say to me, boy,’ King Thorne said.
‘I’ll decide what my children can and cannot hear,’ Ava interrupted.
He looked at her, his lip curling. ‘And swaddle them like soft little babes?’
‘What exactly do you think you know of my children?’
‘I know my own blood. My kin.’
Ava rose to her feet. ‘You don’t get a pardon just because you died, slaughterman.’
‘In what world do you think I’d ever seek pardon from you?’
‘Enough,’ Ambrose snapped. ‘There’s no place for this. It’s twenty years old and well and truly over.’
Ava looked livid – it was clearly with great effort that she shut her mouth and sat back down. Nobody said anything more about Ella and Sadie, so I shrugged, addressing King Thorne. ‘We need to know how you were killing warders under the mountain. It’s the only chance we have at facing them in battle without magic of our own.’
‘You have magic. You have my boy’s girl, and the first tier. And a whole reeking group of them camped north.’
‘“My boy’s girl”,’ Finn mused, sharing a look with her husband. ‘Better than “the loud magic one”.’
‘There are about a hundred warders in that city,’ I said. ‘We don’t have anywhere near enough magic.’ I was running out of patience – I needed to know the damned answer.
‘You don’t need magic to face warders,’ King Thorne said.
We waited for him to go on.
‘Where’s the first tier? Find him, kid.’ He seemed to be addressing Penn.
Penn jumped up, unbothered.
‘No need, Penn,’ Finn stalled him. Then she placed her hands around her mouth and bellowed at the top of her lungs, ‘OSRIC!’
We all winced, and the girls erupted into laughter again. If they were in the vicinity, Finn would spend her energy acting like an idiot to amuse them, and it worked every time.
‘He’s coming.’ Finn grinned, and I realised she’d sent for him with some sort of magic, the scream being for King Thorne’s benefit. ‘What?’ she asked innocently. She was out of her mind, antagonising the Slaughterman of Pirenti.
‘In my land, young women behave with decorum,’ he said coldly.
‘Well then, I suppose it’s lucky we aren’t in your land.’
‘It is,’ he agreed, glancing between her and his son with a degree of scorn I’d never seen before. The man was really something. He seemed utterly content to point out every flaw he saw, without giving a damn what anyone thought of him in return.
Osric turned up, preventing any further arguments.
‘Don’t attack Izzy,’ Finn warned him. ‘Or you go to sleep again.’
Osric didn’t attack, but he did look at Isadora and spit at her feet. His fury was tangible. It was disorienting seeing him like this, when normally he couldn’t be forced to emote over anything. Isadora didn’t react.
‘You. Can you read my mind?’ King Thorne asked Osric.
‘No.’
‘Why?’
‘Because you have a natural shield.’
‘Who else does?’
‘Falco and Isadora do. Ambrose has an even stronger one.’
‘The pretty whelp has one?’ King Thorne asked, surprised.
‘Am I the pretty whelp?’ I asked. ‘That’s sweet of you.’
‘Indeed,’ Osric answered over Finn’s laughter. ‘It’s even stronger than yours, slaughterman. I could crack through it, but it would be difficult and might kill him.’
‘Let’s not try that,’ I suggested.
‘They’re not natural shields,’ King Thorne said. ‘It’s lack of fear.’
I frowned, glancing at Izzy. That didn’t sound right.
The big man leant forwards, lacing his hands together. He looked at me as he explained. ‘Fear is a natural response when meeting with someone who has greater power than you, both physically and mentally. It’s an instinctive thing, not a choice or a conscious decision, but part of our humanity. Warders use this, even if they don’t know it. This fear creates avenues for them to slip inside, allows them much easier access to a mind. Where there is no fear it feels to them like a block or a shield.’
My eyebrows arched.
‘So we need to be braver and they won’t get inside our heads?’ Sadie asked.
King Thorne’s expression softened as he looked at his niece. ‘It has nothing to do with courage or cowardice, love. Fear, or a lack of fear, is caused by experience.’ He turned back to Isadora and I. ‘What is it that has scoured away your fear of warders?’
We didn’t answer and I didn’t think he expected us to. I wasn’t sure what my answer was. ‘But they can
still … affect us,’ I argued. ‘I watched Izzy suspended in mid-air and tortured with pressure in her head.’
‘That’s because they don’t fear you,’ he answered.
A quiet fell over the circle.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Lack of fear in you makes you harder to manipulate. The other side of that is in a warder. If they fear you it makes their powers unwieldy. The greater their fear, the weaker they become. It’s an adrenalin thing, an instinct thing.’ He looked at Osric. ‘You need calm and control to work magic, correct?’
Osric nodded.
‘The problem is, they don’t fear very much, and they train for years in the exercise of maintaining calm. They certainly don’t fear normal humans. But they fear berserkers.’
‘Why?’ I asked.
King Thorne shrugged. ‘A cycle. I don’t know how it started – it has always been so. Berserkers don’t fear warders, and therefore warders fear their lack of power over us, perpetuating the cycle.’
‘How did you make them fear you?’ Isadora asked softly, and all eyes went from her to King Thorne.
He smiled at her, a dangerous thing in his eyes. ‘My brother says you are called Sparrow. You have been hunting warders longer than any of us, so you know very well how I make them fear me.’
Isadora’s eyes glittered, the red in them reflecting starlight.
‘Find me later,’ he said. ‘You and I will speak more of this.’
She nodded. That was going to be one creepy conversation.
I considered what King Thorne had said, which wasn’t much of an answer at all. No trick, no tactic. Nothing I could use to strengthen my soldiers. You couldn’t order a person not to fear the very thing about to destroy them. You could only hope to instil some courage in them, and courage, it seemed, was nothing against magic. My heart sank.
Isadora rose and left before I could stop her. I watched her vanish into the darkness. I couldn’t hope to imagine what made her do the things she did, but I had seen a change in her over the last couple of days. She was no longer the stone queen or the ice goddess. She was flesh and blood, and in a way that was scarier because it made her vulnerable. But she had me now, to protect the unarmed parts of her.
‘I would walk with my niece,’ King Thorne said, rising.
Sadie jumped to her feet, looking excited.
‘Not you, love, your sister.’
Sadie’s face fell and I reached for her, pulling her onto my lap. I whispered in her ear, ‘He’s only worried for her.’
Ella didn’t look surprised by her recently awakened uncle’s request. She tried to move from her ma’s lap, but Ava’s hands tightened. ‘Alone?’ the queen demanded. ‘Why?’
‘I’ve things to tell her that aren’t for others.’
‘Why?’ Ava repeated.
‘He can help her,’ Roselyn said.
‘Why does she need help?’
‘It’s alright, Ma,’ Ella said.
Still Ava hesitated.
‘You think I would let harm come to my kin?’ King Thorne asked. ‘You think I wouldn’t die first?’
And that was the thing, wasn’t it? No matter how much of a cruel, aggressive brute he seemed, this was a man who gave his life for his family. Didn’t just speak of it, or proclaim the intent, but actually did it. That was not something to be taken lightly, a sacrifice of such magnitude. So Ava let her daughter go and we all watched her take King Thorne’s hand and walk with him towards the marshes.
Without warning Finn slumped to the ground.
‘Inney!’ Jonah exclaimed.
Thorne was across the space in an instant, lifting her into his arms. ‘What is it, my girl?’
‘I just need sleep,’ she murmured. ‘Sorry.’
‘Is it the veil?’
‘It isn’t meant to be opened.’
‘So then close it!’ Jonah snapped. ‘This isn’t fair!’
‘I’m fine. Take me to bed, Thorne.’ He lifted her into his arms and carried her away.
‘This isn’t fair,’ Jonah repeated, standing with a burst of anger to stride after them.
I stroked Sadie’s long hair, rocking her a little to ease her anxiety about Ella. It wasn’t working, so I traced my fingers over her back in the shape of moth wings, and felt her pulse slow. Penn was sitting beside me, counting under his breath, strange multiples I couldn’t follow. Roselyn was listening to him too, and I saw her smile a little. Perhaps everyone was listening, for no one was speaking anymore, but sitting quietly together. The air felt heavy; for some or all it could be our last night alive. I was glad now that Ambrose had made me take this night to spend with them. It mattered, spending last moments together and understanding for what we fought.
Isadora
I found her with Brathe and Inga, sharing wine and talk. All three looked at me as I arrived, and Radha was the only one who didn’t smile. ‘We need to have words,’ I told her, and she rose to follow me.
‘Isadora.’ Inga stalled me. ‘Is there news on the plan?’
‘You’ll fight under Falco. He’ll give you your orders.’
‘And you?’ It was Sharn, appearing with Valerie and a host of others from the prison. ‘Will you not fight with us?’
‘I’ve another task. But fear not and fight hard, and we will meet on the other side.’
It seemed to bolster them. Sharn bowed her head. ‘If you asked, Sparrow, I’d follow you.’
‘Follow your Emperor,’ I told her. ‘That’s how you serve Kaya now.’
Radha and I walked along the expanse of soldiers, listening to their voices in the night.
‘That’s far enough,’ she said, turning to me abruptly. ‘Far enough for whatever ludicrous apology you seem about to make.’
I let out a breath.
‘I don’t forgive you,’ she snarled. ‘I could never. You disgust me.’
I nodded, opening my mouth, but she wasn’t done.
‘You stole the life of the best person in this world, the only one trying to make a difference. And you didn’t even steal it from her – you made me steal it from her! Like a coward. You – you …’
She was trembling as she slapped me across the face.
‘I should run you through,’ Radha hissed. ‘You vile, depraved monster.’
Cheek stinging, I forced myself to hold her eyes; she was the first person who’d ever called me names because she knew them to be true.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, despite how pathetic it was. Just to have said it once, just to have spoken one true thing to her.
She laughed in my face, a choked sound. ‘Of course you are. Of course you’re fucking sorry. But you won’t pay any kind of price for what you did. No, not having stolen inside Falco’s heart. I don’t know what he deserves, but it’s better than you.’
‘I have been paying,’ I promised. ‘And I will make sure no more die at my hands.’ No more but two.
‘How?’ Radha demanded. ‘How will you do that? By cutting them off like the handless King has done?’
‘I won’t need to,’ I said. I wasn’t long for this world. She saw something in my face, some measure of certainty, perhaps, for she didn’t say what she’d been about to. Instead she stared at me for a few agonisingly long moments, and then she walked away.
It hurt inside, all the way through. I revelled in the pain; it belonged to me and in me, was mine to own and endure. My footsteps took me to the slaughterman. He was with his wife, and Roselyn looked at me worriedly. ‘Are you well?’
I couldn’t make myself respond.
King Thorne understood, for he rose like a giant and steered me away. We walked and walked, until we got beyond the camp, until we were walking through the empty, grassy floor of the ravine, far enough that no one would overhear us. ‘What plagues you?’
‘You told me to come.’
‘Ask, then.’
‘Why did you kill warders?’
His eyes in the darkness were too pale, eerily pale. Paler than
either his brother’s or his son’s. ‘Because they are corrupt.’
‘How did you learn that? What taught you such a thing?’
I knew the story: a little boy went north into the ice and came back forever changed. There, I later learned, the boy had become a man by torturing warders for the truth of their magic, for a way to end the bond that bound Kayans against their wills. He and I believed in the same things, it seemed.
King Thorne tilted his head to study my face now. It was almost comical, how much taller he was than me. A giant and a child. ‘They were travelling north,’ he said. ‘A ship of them. They wanted to take the mountain, and thought little enough of us to try. The first I caught got inside my head and made me believe the worst kinds of things. I almost killed myself in despair. Truly. I had the knife at my own throat, ready. And in that moment I learnt not to fear what was within me. By torturing me, the warder had taught me to connect with my beast, to embrace him. For that, I returned the favour.’
‘Cruelty, then,’ I murmured. ‘You killed them for their cruelty.’
‘I killed them because they threatened my power with their own,’ he answered bluntly. ‘I do not abide threats.’
It thrilled me, filled me.
‘How many have you killed, Sparrow, because their magic threatens all else, because their corruption threatens life?’
‘I’ve lost count.’
‘Liar,’ he breathed.
‘Thirty-two.’
His lips curled slowly. I could feel the beast in the air, the animal. ‘On my chest are five Marks. Five kills. More than anyone I had ever met, until you.’
I realised why I’d come to find him. ‘I want you to Mark me.’
King Thorne laughed, long and slow, not in amusement but with pleasure. Then he used his knife to cut thirty-two Marks into the flesh of my inner arm. They bled and hurt, but I enjoyed it. When he was done, he kissed me on the mouth and said, ‘People will hate you for being ruthless. But they will be alive because of it. Remember that.’
I licked my lips, tasting him on me long after he’d gone.
With my bleeding arm I found my way back to the top of the ridge. I was still filthy with mud, so I didn’t worry that I’d be spotted at such a distance. I stood tall, watching, thinking, readying myself.