Ride Like You've Never Fallen (Summer Lake Book 11)

by SJ McCoy

  She met his gaze and nodded. She looked scared.

  “I’d like us to be a couple.” The way her eyes widened made him hold a hand up. “I’m not saying I know how to do that. I’m not saying I’d be any good at it. I’m just saying I’d like to give it a try.”

  She continued to stare at him.

  “If you would.” He needed her to say something. Even if it was only to tell him no, or that he was crazy to think she might consider it. He just couldn’t take her sitting there staring at him like that any longer. “Say something, Lil. Put me out of my misery.”

  Her eyebrows knit together. “Are you serious?”

  “Very.”

  “Wow!”

  “What does ‘wow’ mean?”

  She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m just, I didn’t expect, I didn’t think …”

  “You can’t be that surprised. I told you the other night; I’d like us to be more than friends.”

  “Yeah, but I thought you just meant sex.”

  “So, is that all you want?” His tone was accusing. He could hear it himself, and that was so unfair of him—he knew it, but he couldn’t help it.

  She shook her head rapidly. “I don’t do just sex; you know that. I just don’t want you to feel like you’ve got to try to be something you’re not for us to sleep together. I like you. You know that, but it scares me. It scares me that you’re going to feel tied down and at some point, I’m going to feel let down.”

  “Why would you feel let down?”

  “When you go back to your ways—and your women.”

  Nate sighed. “I don’t want to do that, though, Lil. I want you.”

  She smiled and put her hands on his shoulders. He loved the way she did that. “I want you, too, Nate.”

  He cupped his hand around the back of the neck and drew her toward him. “Then let’s try it.”

  She nodded slowly. “But what does it look like?”

  Nate’s mind raced. He was the wrong person to ask what a relationship should look like. It meant dates and hanging out and doing stuff together. Then he remembered. “It looks like you not having to pretend this weekend.”

  She looked puzzled for a moment, then it clicked. “You’d go to my sister’s engagement party with me?”

  He nodded. “I’d have gone as your pretend boyfriend, but I’d much rather go as your real one.”

  She shook her head. “You have no idea what you’d be letting yourself in for.”

  “Whatever it is, I can handle it. And I’d love to help you show your family how awesome you are.”

  She let out a short laugh. “There’s not much chance of that. I’m hopeless as far as they’re concerned.”

  “Why, though? I mean, you’re smart. You run your own business. You got an awesome education and worked as a therapist. How can they think you’re hopeless?”

  She shrugged. “They don’t see the stables as a real business. I’ll never make enough money doing this.”

  That worried Nate. He thought she did pretty well for herself. “Are you struggling?” Was that why she lived in the camper?

  “No. I’m doing just fine. I make more than enough to live the kind of life I want to live. It’s just that I’m never going to make millions; I’m never going to make a name for myself. They thought both those things were possible before—though I never did. I mean, there are some big name, big money shrinks in Beverley Hills, but I was never going to be one of them.”

  Nate shook his head; he couldn’t see why anyone would ever want to be.

  “Remember, I told you, money and reputation are what’s important to them. Well, they think I’m nuts not to be pursuing those things.”

  “But you’re pursuing what makes you happy. You love the horses, you love to ride, you love to teach the kids and share your enjoyment with them. You’re a natural, Lil. Even I can see that.”

  “They can’t and even if they did, it wouldn’t mean anything to them.”

  “It doesn’t mean anything that you’re happy?”

  She shrugged. “It doesn’t seem that way, no.”

  “That’s sad. I should definitely go with you.”

  “And why’s that?”

  “Maybe I can make them see things differently.”

  “No. They see things their way, and that’s it.” She smiled. “It would be nice if you come, though. At least they won’t be able to harp on about how I can’t keep a man happy.”

  Nate grinned. “They can’t say a word about that.” He winked at her and loved the way she lowered her gaze.

  “You liked it?”

  “No! I didn’t just like it. I loved it. I wasn’t joking when I said you’re the best.”

  She looked up. “I doubt that. I haven’t had much practice.”

  Nate slid his arm around her shoulders. He didn’t want to get into the subject of how much practice he’d had. He wanted this to be about the two of them and the kind of man he wanted to be—not about the kind of man he’d been up to this point. “We’ll have to fix that then, won’t we? I’ll give you all the practice you can handle, but like I said before, you don’t need it; you’re a natural.”

  She smiled and looked up into his eyes. “Are we about to get ourselves into something that’s only going to end in disaster?”

  “No.” He tightened his arm around her shoulders. “We’re onto something good. I can feel it in my bones.”

  She laughed and looked down at his lap. “Do you mean in your boner?”

  Nate shrugged. “Maybe, but I’m not taking any notice of that tonight.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He grinned. “I mean we’re going to take our time.” He was thrilled that she looked disappointed.

  “But why? We already have, and you know I want to.” She raised an eyebrow. “And you can’t tell me you don’t want to.”

  “No, I can’t, but I’d like to do this properly. If you’re going to be my girlfriend, then we should start this differently. We should go on some dates and hang out. Not just rush in.”

  She smiled.

  “What?” Did she think he was crazy? He was starting to wonder if he might be himself. Had he really talked himself out of the chance to sleep with her tonight?

  “You’re too sweet.”

  “Sweet?” He gave her a mock horrified look. “I may have to jump your bones right here on the sofa. I said I want to be your boyfriend, not that I’m going to let you neuter me.”

  She laughed. “Sweet is a good thing. Women love guys who can be sweet.”

  He gave her a rueful smile. “Okay. I’ll go with I can be sweet. Not that I am.”

  She looked at her watch. “Should I get going, then?”

  He gave her a stern look. “Why? You’re not interested in sticking around if you’re not going to get any? Is that what you’re saying?”

  She laughed. “Not at all. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to resist temptation, and besides, if we’re going to do this properly, then I’m not sure I should be here. I mean, it’s not right on a first date, is it?”

  Nate smiled. She was going to go with this then? He was glad. He liked the idea. “It probably isn’t, is it? I should see you safely home and then give you a chaste kiss on the doorstep, right?”

  She laughed. “Or you could just see me back to where I left my car at the resort. If you come all the way to my doorstep, I doubt you’ll make it home again tonight.”

  “Hmm, maybe that’s the way to go?”

  She shook her head. “No, let’s do this right.”

  He stood up and offered her his hand. She grinned as he pulled her to her feet. “Let’s see you home then.”

  Chapter Eight

  “Hey, Holly!” Lily smiled as she dismounted and led her horse over to the fence where Holly was leaning watching her. “How are you?”

  “I’m doing great, thanks. I want to book some more lessons. Now that the store at the plaza is going to be open, I’ll get to spend most of my time up he
re for the next few months. I want to make the most of it and get back into riding.”

  “That’s great. Let me put her away, and we can look at the schedule and get you booked in.”

  Once she’d returned the mare to her stall, Lily led Holly through to the office and pulled out the big diary. “When are you thinking?”

  “Whenever you can fit me in. I’d love to come out this weekend if you’ve got anything free.”

  “Sorry. I’m trying not to work weekends at all anymore. I’d make an exception for you, but I couldn’t do it this weekend anyway. I’ve got my sister’s engagement party.”

  “I forgot all about that. So, you’re going?”

  Lily couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. “I am, and Nate’s going with me.”

  Holly didn’t look too impressed. “Do you think that pretending he’s your boyfriend is a good idea? I could never do anything like that with my parents. They’d know straight away, and besides, we’re close.”

  “I can understand that you probably wouldn’t need to do anything that dumb just to get your parents off your back. They support you, right?”

  Holly nodded. “Yeah, sorry, sweetie. I didn’t mean it was dumb. I just couldn’t imagine … sorry.”

  “No problem, and besides, I don’t have to do it anyway.”

  “But I thought you said Nate was going with you?”

  Lily grinned. “He is.”

  “Oh!” Holly grinned back at her. “You mean you two are …?”

  Lily nodded happily. “We are. At least, we’re giving it a go. I have no idea how it will work out. Nate’s not exactly boyfriend material. And I don’t have a great track record with relationships myself.”

  “Yeah, what is your story?”

  Lily shrugged. “Nothing too traumatic or dramatic. I met a guy in grad school. He was nice. Steady, boring. Destined to be a dentist. My parents loved him, of course. We got engaged, each made a start on our careers, and I finally admitted that I was in danger of being bored to death.”

  “He was that stuffy?” asked Holly.

  “He wasn’t all that bad. He just bought into the whole deal of you live to work, your social life centers around your career and everything is about making money and being seen to be successful.”

  Holly nodded. “Yeah. I can’t stand people like that.”

  “Then you wouldn’t like my family.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean …”

  Lily smiled. “Don’t worry. I feel the same way.”

  “Nate’s not like that. He’s all about enjoying life and whatever it throws at you,” said Holly with a grin.

  Lily’s smile faded a little. “Yeah. He is. Or in his case, whoever it throws at him.”

  Holly nodded. “I like him a lot. He’s a great guy, but you said yourself, he’s not exactly boyfriend material. I hope you’re just in this for a fling?”

  “I’m trying to be.”

  “Uh-oh!”

  Lily nodded. “I think I’m falling for him. In fact, I think I already have.”

  Holly gave her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. “There’s always hope. They all change at some point. I mean, look at Smoke. No one was worse than him. Although Chase and Eddie weren’t much better. They’ve all settled down now, and you never see any of them look at another woman.”

  “I know, I just don’t dare believe that Nate might do the same. I mean, all of those guys fell for gorgeous women.”

  “And Nate has fallen for a gorgeous woman, too. You won’t see it because it’s you, but it’s true.”

  “I’m not bad. I know that. It’s not about self-esteem, it’s just about being a realist. Nate is pretty set in his ways. I’d be stupid to think that he’s going to change them at the snap of my fingers, or that he could change even if he wants to.”

  Holly nodded. “Well, you’re going in with your eyes open, that’s all you can do.”

  Lily knew that much, but she also knew she was riding straight for a fall when Nate decided to go back to his old ways. She didn’t think he was the kind of man who could be happy with just one woman, and yet she was still setting herself up for major disappointment and heartbreak when he proved her right. “I guess so. I am a realist at heart like I said, so I’m going to keep my eyes wide open and have as much fun as I can while it lasts. I won’t expect too much of him, and I’ll do my very best not to take it personally when he reverts to form.”

  Holly raised an eyebrow.

  “I’ll try not to fall apart and hate him when he decides he’d rather keep seeing lots of women than just me.”

  “Good luck with that, girlfriend. We all say we’re going to be reasonable, but when it comes down to it, it’s much harder said than done.”

  “I know, but if I don’t kid myself that I can do that, then I won’t even let myself try—and I want to. Anyway, enough about all that. Let’s figure out when we can get you in for a lesson.”

  “When will you be back from your sister’s party?”

  “Sunday evening, we’re both back at work on Monday.”

  “Have you got anything free Monday morning? I’ll come for a lesson and to hear all the juicy details of your weekend.”

  Lily laughed. “Okay. Does ten-thirty Monday morning work for you?”

  “It does. Book me in, and I’ll look forward to it.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Nate climbed out of his truck and looked around. The plaza was all ready to go. There had been times when it seemed like he’d never be able to meet the deadline, but he’d pulled it off. The storefronts were starting to fill up as the retailers brought in their merchandise. He couldn’t wait now to see them all open for business. This place was going to be a big success. He knew it.

  “Hey, Nate.” Laura came out of her store and waved at him.

  “Hi, Laura. Are you all ready for the grand opening next weekend?”

  She grinned. “Almost. It seems like it’s been forever since we first talked about this place, but now it’s finally here, and I’m scrambling to be ready on time.”

  “You’ll pull it off. I know you will.” He peered in through the window at the elegant displays. Laura’s jewelry sparkled under the lights. “It looks great.”

  “Thanks. I’m getting there. I’m glad I’ve run into you. Smoke’s planning to grill out this weekend. Do you want to come over Saturday afternoon?”

  “Sorry, I can’t.”

  “What, you’ve already had a better offer? I thought you didn’t line up your weekend entertainment till Friday night when you see what’s available.”

  Nate made a face. He hadn’t ever really given much thought to his lifestyle before, but it seemed that all his friends were aware of how he lived.

  “Sorry. I wasn’t being critical.”

  He smiled; he knew she wasn’t. Laura was a good friend, and she’d become one because she was with Smoke. Smoke used to live the very same life Nate was living until he met Laura, so she must understand. “That’s okay. I didn’t think you were.” He wondered if he should tell her what his plans were, but maybe Lily wouldn’t want him to.

  “So, what are you doing?”

  He stared at her for a moment. Should he tell her? What the hell—he wanted to. He hoped she’d be pleased. “I’m going with Lily to her sister’s party.”

  Laura gave him a raunchy grin. “Good for you. Enjoy yourself.”

  He nodded. He intended to, but he’d hoped she might ask him about it, not just give him the wink and knowing grin that said she knew he wanted to sleep with Lily. He sighed. What was happening to him? First, he’d gone all clingy on Lily; now he was going all needy and wanting to talk with Laura.

  Her smile was gone. “Want to tell me what’s up?”

  He shrugged. He did, but now he felt stupid.

  Laura took hold of his arm and led him inside the store. “That is a troubled look if ever I saw one. Come sit down with Auntie Laura and tell me all about it.”

  He gave her a ruef
ul smile as he took a seat in the little office in the back.

  “What’s the problem?” she asked.

  “There isn’t one. No problem at all. I’m excited to go with her.”

  “You’re not worried how it might go?”

  “No, I think it’ll be fine. I just … I’m more worried about where we go from here.”

  Laura pursed her lips. “It sounded like a one-off deal to me. She needs a pretend boyfriend, you want …” She stopped herself with an apologetic smile.

  “No!” Nate realized that Laura didn’t know how much had changed between him and Lily since they’d all been out for breakfast last weekend. “No. It’s not a one-off deal; that’s the whole point. At first, she just needed a pretend boyfriend, but we’ve seen each other a couple of times this week and now, well …” He peeked out from under his eyebrows, wondering what she might say. “I asked if she wanted me to go as her real boyfriend.”

  Laura pushed a strand of her long dark hair back behind her ear while she eyed him coolly. “Is that a good idea?” she asked eventually.

  “I hope so. I want it to be.”

  Laura frowned. “Lily’s not like you, Nate.”

  “She’s not like me how?” He knew Laura was right, but he wanted her to tell him how she saw it.

  Laura searched for the right words. “Well, there’s the obvious, she doesn’t sleep around, but more than that. She … I don’t know … she cares!”

  “And you’re saying I don’t?” He did care. He cared about Lily; he cared about his friends. Maybe he didn’t care too much for the women he usually spent his weekends with, but they didn’t care about him either. That was just how it was. No one got hurt because no one expected anything.

  “No, I know you care. I just think maybe you don’t understand how much you could hurt her.”

  Nate sighed. “I don’t want to let her down, but I haven’t made any promises either. She knows me better than anyone; she knows what I am.”

  “Sorry. I don’t think you’d hurt her intentionally. You’re not stupid, and neither is she. I just …” she shook her head. “Be careful. That’s all.”

  “I will.” Nate stared out the window and pondered it all. Was it just a dumb idea all around? Yeah, he liked Lily, he wanted to try it out and see if maybe they could have a relationship, but would it be better to admit from the get-go that he just wasn’t cut out for it?