by Gina Wilkins
“Maybe you do.” He looked at the clock and pulled his keys out of his pocket. “I’m going to take off now. I’ve got a meeting with a software client in town late Tuesday afternoon. Should be done by about six. If you’re free that evening, how would you like if I bring a pizza and we stream a movie or something?”
“Tuesday?” She did a quick mental run-through of her upcoming schedule, at the same time surprised that he’d asked. They didn’t usually get together so often and he’d never suggested a quiet movie night. The word domestic hovered uncomfortably in her mind for a moment, but she told herself she was overthinking. As he’d said, he was going to be in town, anyway. It made sense for him to come by for dinner.
“I’m free Tuesday evening,” she said, thinking she’d have time for the paperwork she’d planned to do that evening after he left. Probably he wouldn’t stay too late if he was coming over that early. “Pizza sounds good. Light on the tomato sauce.”
“You got it.” He kissed her, gave her a playful squeeze on the butt, then called his dog and let himself out of the house.
Alexis tightened the sash of her robe, then bent to pick up Fiona, snuggling the warm cat in her arms as she walked into the living room to lock up for the night.
Something had been different tonight. Logan had been different. Even before he’d surprised her by telling her about a part of his life he said few of his friends here even knew about, she’d sensed a slight change in him. The way he’d looked at her when he’d arrived. The way he’d swept her off her feet to carry her to the bedroom. Even the extra tenderness he’d displayed in their lovemaking. Though she couldn’t quite define it, something had changed.
It must have happened during their vacation in Seattle. After all, tonight had been the first time they’d been alone together since.
She supposed it was inevitable that those days and nights together had added a new dimension to their relationship. A new intimacy. They’d each learned things about the other during the trip. For example, she’d heard for the first time about the unscrupulous business partner he’d considered a friend. That betrayal had to have hurt him. Now she knew he’d survived even more blows than she’d realized. His father’s abandonment. Surviving a terrible illness. Losing friends—and a woman he’d thought he loved enough to be engaged to her. Betrayed by his partner. Losing his mother. Losing his beloved great-uncle. No wonder he’d become so prickly. And yet...
She thought of the way he supported his sisters in anything they wanted. Grumbling at times, but always coming through for them. She wouldn’t want to be the man who hurt either of them if their occasionally intimidating brother was around to champion them. She considered his gift of arranging garland and fairy lights to make a bride gasp with delight. His kindness toward animals—the bond he’d formed with a “quirky” stray, his patience with her attention-loving cat. His dry sense of humor. The way he made her feel beautiful and desirable and sexy without flowery words or studiedly amorous gestures.
Sudden panic gripped her, squeezing the breath out of her. She didn’t want to think of him like this. Didn’t want to admire him so much or understand him so well. It was supposed to be easy between them. Casual. Superficial. Sensible and realistic. That was all she wanted. All she could handle for now. She simply would not risk anything more.
It had hurt her badly enough when Harry had told her that he no longer wanted her as part of his life. That the passion had faded, the excitement was over, the feelings were gone. The same things her parents had said to each other years earlier. Things her brother had probably said to his two ex-wives. Even imagining hearing those words, or variations thereof, from Logan made her whole body tighten in dread.
Fiona squirmed and meowed, and Alexis realized she must have tightened her grip a bit too much. “Sorry,” she murmured, setting the cat down and stroking her in apology. “I was just being silly.”
She was, of course. Logan had made it clear from the start that he wasn’t looking for permanence or romance. He’d given her no reason to make her believe he’d changed his mind, right? No promises, no potential grief.
So maybe he’d shared a little more of his past with her. They were friends. Friends talked. It didn’t have to mean anything more than that.
They’d have pizza Tuesday night, she thought, heading for the bedroom with her chin up, her mouth set in a resolute line. Probably they’d have sex. And then he would leave, as he always did, and they’d turn their attentions to their individual busy schedules. After that, they’d stay in touch with occasional friendly phone calls, get together when they could—certainly not as often once the wedding season picked up. And when they mutually agreed the affair had run its course, they would end it as friendly associates, just the way they’d agreed from the start.
Feeling much better now, she got ready for bed, then climbed beneath the covers while Fiona curled up beside her. But it was the memory of being held against Logan’s warm, bare chest that accompanied her into sleep.
* * *
The scents of melted cheese and steaming vegetables filled the cab of Logan’s pickup as he parked in Alexis’s driveway Tuesday evening. He juggled the box and the bottle of good red wine he’d brought as he climbed out of the truck and headed for her front door. He’d actually considered bringing flowers. He’d seen a display when he’d stopped for the wine and he’d found himself debating between roses and daisies before he’d stopped himself. He would buy her flowers sometime, but not tonight. She’d think he was up to something for sure if he showed up with dinner and wine and flowers.
She opened the door with a smile that was so bright it almost glittered. He wasn’t entirely sure it reached her eyes, but she looked down at his hands before he could study them through her glasses. Maybe she was just tired. She’d said she would be putting in some hard hours this week.
“That smells delicious,” she said, ushering him inside. “I’m really hungry. I had a salad for lunch and that was hours ago.”
“Good. I’m starving, too, so let’s eat while it’s hot.” He handed her the wine, which she studied approvingly before turning to get wineglasses.
Fiona walked a big circle around Logan, meowing and obviously looking for Ninja. When she conceded that her friend hadn’t come, she made a show of turning her back on Logan and stalking away, tail in the air to express her displeasure.
He laughed. “Your cat makes her feelings known, doesn’t she?”
“Very much so.”
They talked about work during the meal, discussing the things they’d done since they’d parted Sunday night, chatting about upcoming obligations. Alexis had nothing scheduled at the inn for the next few weeks, though she had several events scheduled at other venues. She had a big wedding at a church on the coming Saturday evening and that, in addition to her usual meetings and duties, would keep her occupied for the rest of this week, she said. Logan told her he would stay occupied for the next few days with spring plantings in the gardens and numerous flower beds surrounding the inn, along with some routine maintenance chores.
When they’d eaten their fill, he helped her with cleanup and then they carried their wineglasses into the living room and sat side by side on the couch, though Alexis didn’t immediately reach for the television remote. Proving she’d forgiven him, Fiona leaped onto his lap to head-butt his hand in a demand for strokes and scratches, which he obligingly provided.
“Did your software meeting go well?” Alexis asked.
“Yeah, he was satisfied with the report I’d prepared for him. I made several recommendations that will streamline his operation and let him spend less time on paperwork. He’s been wasting a couple hours a week on redundant forms that could easily be consolidated in one program.”
“Hmm. Maybe I should hire you to look at the programs Gretchen and I use for my business,” she mused, obviously impressed. “Saving us a c
ouple hours a week on record-keeping and ordering would be well worth the cost—assuming your services are affordable, of course,” she teased.
“For you—very.”
She frowned and shook her head, not exactly the response he’d expected though he probably should have. “I’d want to pay your usual rates, of course. I wasn’t asking for favoritism. Remember, we agreed to keep our personal relationship totally separate from business.”
“I remember,” he said with a slight shake of his head. Heaven forbid he step on her professional pride, he thought in mild exasperation. “If you’re serious, I’ll look at your operation at my usual hourly consultation fee, less a twenty percent discount because you bring so much business to the inn.”
“That sounds fair.”
“I’m glad you think so,” he said with mock gravity, earning himself a look.
He leaned over to set his wineglass on the table in front of the couch and drew a breath. He was about to take a major step, and he wasn’t entirely sure how she would react.
“One of the guys I play basketball with a couple times a month just got a big promotion in his job. He’ll be moving to Dallas in a few weeks. Some of us are getting together at another friend’s house next Tuesday—a week from tonight—for a party in his honor.”
“That sounds nice,” she said, a little distracted by the cat, who had climbed into her lap and was sniffing her wine. She lifted her glass a little higher and set Fiona gently aside.
“So I thought maybe you could go with me. If you aren’t busy that night.”
It must have taken a moment for his words to sink in. When they did, she froze for a moment before asking, “You want me to go with you?”
“That’s what I said.”
“Like...a date?”
Okay, judging by her tone, he wasn’t the only one who thought this was a big step. Still, he couldn’t yet read anything in her expression except blank shock. “Exactly like a date.”
“Oh, I don’t—I don’t think that’s a very good idea.”
His eyebrows beetled. “You have other plans that evening?”
She tucked her hair behind her ear in a nervous gesture. “No. I mean, I don’t think so. I haven’t checked my schedule, but we shouldn’t go to a party together.”
“Why not?”
Her loud sigh signaled impatience with his obtuseness. “Well, because. Even if your sisters aren’t there, and even if they don’t know your friends, it’s still too likely that word would get back to them that you’d brought me as a date to the party. It’s not like in Seattle, where the chances were slim that we’d be recognized.”
“And yet, we were,” he reminded her. He was getting a little irritated, but he warned himself to give her time to adjust to the idea before he started growling at her.
She waved a hand in dismissal. “Isabella never even heard your name. That’s less likely this time.”
“True. I would definitely tell my friends your name.”
She looked agitated now, squirming on the couch until Fiona jumped down and walked away to find a more comfortable place to sit. “And you know what they would think.”
“What would they think?” he asked her evenly.
“That we’re a couple. Or at least that we’re seeing each other.”
“Alexis, we’ve been seeing each other—intimately—for seven months. I think it’s time we stopped pretending otherwise, don’t you?”
She set her wineglass on the table so hard it was a wonder it didn’t shatter. And then she jumped to her feet and began to pace. He watched her in surprise, having seriously underestimated her response to his simple invitation.
“You think it’s time,” she repeated flatly. “Is that right?”
“Obviously, I wouldn’t say anything without your consent. Which is why I asked you if you’d go with me to the party. Sort of easing into it.”
“Easing into what?” she demanded, whirling to look at him.
He rose slowly. “Into going public. Seeing each other openly, without pretending we hardly know each other when we cross paths at the inn. We had our reasons when we started this thing. We figured it was no one else’s business, and we didn’t know if it would work out long enough to bother mentioning it to anyone else. It was great to have time to get to know each other without well-intentioned interference from family and friends. But we’re past that point now, don’t you think?”
“No. I don’t think!”
He had to admit he was taken aback by her vehemence. “I don’t get it, Alexis. What’s going on here?”
He watched as she drew a deep breath, obviously struggling to regain her composure. She spoke more calmly then. “If we go public, as you say, everything will change. People—my mother, your sisters—will start expecting things from us. Asking us if we have plans for the future, that sort of thing. You said yourself it’s been great with just the two of us. Do you really want to deal with that sort of outside pressure?”
He’d spent a lot of time asking himself those questions before inviting her to the party. Now he shrugged and said, “Maybe it is time we start thinking about the future. We’re good together, Alexis. In bed and out. It’s not such a stretch that we could stay together. Maybe even end up getting mar—”
She didn’t even let him finish the word. “Stop! Just stop, okay?”
Squeezing the back of his neck with one hand, he glared at her. “I’m going to need a little clarification here. I don’t know why you’re freaking out like this.”
“Because you’re changing the rules,” she shot back. “This is not what we agreed on. Everything’s been going so well, and now you’re trying to change it.”
“You changed things when you invited me to join you in Seattle.”
She winced. “Maybe that was a mistake. I thought we could have a good time, relax for a few days, then go back to the way we were after we came home.”
His hand tightened at his nape as a jolt of pain shot through him. He dropped his arm, feeling himself stiffen. “Things change. Evolve. I thought we were moving forward in this relationship. Apparently I was wrong.”
She threw up her hands, her face flushed, her eyes stormy behind her glasses. “We haven’t had a relationship! We’ve had sex. An affair. That was what you said you wanted, and now out of the blue, you’re saying something different. And you just expect me to go along with it?”
He didn’t like hearing her describe it—their relationship—that way. “Look, I didn’t mean— It’s obvious I haven’t handled this very well. If you don’t want to go to the party, fine. We can talk.”
“I think we’ve talked enough,” she whispered, avoiding his eyes as she wrapped her arms around herself in a protective stance. “I think it’s time to let it go.”
“It?” he repeated coolly.
“Us.”
She was ending it. Right here in her living room, without any warning, and all because he’d invited her to a party. He could hardly believe it was happening, but he’d be damned if he would beg. “If that’s what you want.”
She nodded, still speaking so quietly he could hardly hear her. “I think it’s for the best. I hope you’ll stand by your promise that this won’t affect our working together. After all, of the two of us, I’m the one with the most to lose.”
In one breath, he went from hurt to furious. “Is that right?”
She nodded again.
“Fine. You needn’t worry that I’ll say anything to affect your business reputation. I’ll trust you not to take your clients away from the inn just because you’re done with me. Kinley and Bonnie don’t deserve that.”
“I wouldn’t—”
He was already moving toward the door. “You needn’t worry that it will be awkward between us at the inn. Kinley would just as soon I st
ay out of client meetings, anyway. Tell her what you need, and I’ll do my best to fill any reasonable requests to your clients’ satisfaction.”
“Logan—”
He didn’t wait to hear more. He let himself out, closing the door sharply behind him, and stalked toward his truck. He should have known better, he thought savagely. Apparently, he hadn’t learned the lessons his life had tried to teach him as well as he’d thought. He’d let himself care. Let himself hope. Let himself...
Love.
Damn it.
He really should have known better.
Chapter Eleven
For more than a week, Alexis vacillated between missing Logan so badly she ached with it and being utterly furious with him for ruining everything. Even after mentally replaying the scene a hundred times during the days since he’d stalked out of her house, she couldn’t remember all the details of their conversation, how it had so quickly spiraled out of control. She did, however, remember that he’d started to imply that he was beginning to consider marriage as a potential future for them.
She freely admitted to herself now that she had panicked. To the point that she’d barely been articulate when she’d told him it was over. She knew she’d angered him with her rejection. Maybe she’d even hurt him, though probably it was more his pride than his heart that had taken the blow. He would get over it.
She wasn’t entirely sure she would.
Had she really let herself go and fall in love with the man? Was she really that foolish, even though she’d spent most of her life believing that romantic lives didn’t—couldn’t—last?
Groaning, she planted her elbows on her desk and buried her face in her hands, unable to concentrate on the work surrounding her. Which was also his fault.
As she had many times before, she assured herself she’d done the right thing in ending it all before it got entirely out of hand. She’d hoped the end would be more amicable, less abrupt, but she’d always known it would come. Obviously, it had been time. If she hadn’t taken that step, she and Logan could have gotten carried away with it all. She could have gone to his party with him. They could have had a great time. He’d have introduced her as his date, eventually as his girlfriend. They could have continued having great sex, having fun doing other things together, and their marriage-inclined friends and family would have started seeing them as a couple. Logan and Alexis. Alexis and Logan. Maybe they’d have even convinced themselves that they could make it work, despite the odds they knew so well.