“It’s not my fault, bruh. You were a naughty outlaw rocker, gotta pay the price at some point. This is your penance,” I explain to a dog.
He rolls over on his back so I’ll scratch his chest.
“People have limbs blown off and cut off all the time, Hen. They learn to walk with prosthetics and they even have these crazy robotic things your brain can move like a real appendage. We gotta get Cash some opposable thumbs. We shouldn’t get to have all the fun,” I say.
“He’d eat them.”
“Well we just have to keep buying him more until he connects the thumbs to his past life,” I explain.
“You’re an idiot,” she says as she has a million times before.
She always smiles when she says it. It’s a term of endearment for her.
“Yeah, but I’m your idiot,” I reply as I have a million times before.
“You are.”
My dick gets hard when she calls me an idiot and all the blood drains from the brain in my head, the one attached to my neck. I take a minute to remember why I came in here in the first place… God she’s beautiful. My dick is so hard it hurts.
“The next scene is the angel on her knees crying and Chauncey wanted you to be prepared for it. Makeup will streak your makeup to help, but he wanted you to tap into something inside to produce the emotion. I just wanted to warn you. I don’t think he felt comfortable asking you,” I say.
“Okay,” she says.
“You going to be okay doing this?” I ask.
“Yeah, it’s just acting, right?” she sounds unsure.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Hen.”
“I know,” she smiles.
She’s so committed to this project, so supportive of this song and vision I’m scared she’ll do anything to give Chauncey and me what we want.
“I mean it, Hen.”
“I know, Kip. It’s fine. I’ll figure it out. I’ve never had to cry on command, but once I learn how you’ll never stop me. I’ll cry every time I get pulled over for speeding, every time they get my order wrong at Starbucks, and when I have to wait in line at the ladies room. I’ll be unstoppable, bending the world to my will with my mad acting skills and manufactured tears,” she smiles.
I chuckle because she’s fucking serious. If she learns how to cry on cue we’ll all be in trouble.
I kiss her on the forehead and leave her to check in with Chauncey.
Henley returns to set an hour later and seeks Chauncey who I assume is explaining the next scene, so I make tracks to join them.
“We’re looking for raw emotion. Makeup will fix your makeup for this scene. There won’t be audio of you crying, so it will need to be a visually moving emotion,” he explains.
“Okay, I’ll try. Can we play music loud? I mean if you don’t need to hear me cry, can we drown that out with music?” she fidgets.
“That won’t be a problem,” Chauncey says.
She goes to makeup and returns a few moments later with a tear streaked face. It looks believable as shit. Chauncey intercepts her and guides her to the set where the stools and piano sat earlier. They were removed, but the massive candles are blazing around her making her look like a real fucking angel. As Chauncey talks to her, she smiles up at him and I wonder if he sees what I do when I look at her. I wonder if her smile makes his stomach feel all fucked up.
He helps her down to her knees where she sits, and he moves behind a camera.
After a few moments, with no one saying anything, Henley looks up, “So I just cry?”
“I know it’s much more difficult than it sounds. Tell me if there is anything I can do to help you,” Chauncey advises.
She remains on her knees and looks around. She looks so small sitting in this huge room by herself. Anxiety radiates from her tiny body.
Jessica walks to the middle of the set and speaks softly where only Henley can hear her. Henley nods a few times as does Jessica as they talk. Jessica stands and makes her way to Chauncey and me.
“We’ve got to make the environment conducive to what you’re looking for. She can see all these people standing around, so the lighting behind the camera needs to go. She also needs music to drown out the auditory of her crying if she will be comfortable doing this. If it was me I wouldn’t be able to do this with all these people watching and listening,” Jessica informs.
“Okay, is there something particular we can play to help?” Chauncey asks.
Jessica laughs a little, “She said to play the sad puppy song that makes her want to give all her money to them.”
I belt out a laugh because I know exactly which song she’s referring to by Sarah McLachlan. Shit, it makes me want to give them all my money too.
A few moments later, the back lights behind are off and Sarah McLachlan croons a depressing ass song through the speakers. It’s so fucking loud there’s no way we’d ever hear her cry.
It looks like she musters some tears, but she doesn’t full on cry. She makes a valiant attempt through the entire song to cry and when it ends she falls over in laughter.
“Fuck, I need sad puppies with an eye missing or something,” she giggles.
The entire sets cracks up at her, and I think Chauncey will burst a blood vessel from laughing so hard.
“This is no laughing matter people. Sad puppies with a missing eye plus Sarah McLachlan equals real fucking emotion. I need one-eyed puppies!” she yells and we all boom in laughter again.
“Do I really need to find her a one-eyed puppy?” Chauncey asks.
“No, she wouldn’t cry. She’d be too busy cooing over it like it’s a damn baby, and then Cash will be pissed off because he’ll have a new brother or sister,” I explain.
“Cancel the order for the one-eyed puppy!” Chauncey yells to no one in particular and we erupt once again.
“Why don’t we do another scene?” I ask. “Maybe we can push this scene to tomorrow?”
“That’s fine with me, she’ll have more time to prepare,” he answers. “Let’s get her back in makeup and shoot the scene with you and her dancing.”
They usher Henley off to makeup and move the candles around for the dance scene.
Chapter 24
Kip
Hen returns a half hour later with her makeup perfectly in place.
Chauncey brings everyone together for the scene, “Kip and Henley will stand in the middle of the candelabras and dance together. We’ll more than likely take anywhere from five to ten cuts. We’ll play the song for each cut.”
A few moments later I look down at Hen’s mischievous grin and as the music plays she turns around and bounces her ass up and down against me.
Chauncey yells “Cut!”
“It’s difficult to twerk in these wings,” she deadpans.
The set once again breaks out into laughter.
I smile down at her. She’s so fucking happy, radiating pure joy from her.
“It’s a ballad, Hen!” Rhys yells from behind the camera. “Have some fucking respect! This is like Every Rose has a Thorn shit. Get it together and look lonnnnngggingly into Kip’s eyes,” he teases.
“I’m good, Chauncey. I’ll try to behave,” she giggles.
Damn what a sound.
Chauncey calls for us to get into our places, so I grab Henley by her hip and pull her to me. When Chauncey calls action, the song plays. She looks up lonnnnngggingly into my eyes, like the smart ass she is. Her eyes almost bulge out of her head, and my head instinctively leans back as I laugh at her. I wait for Chauncey to call cut but he’s apparently rolling with our madness.
I smile down at her as she grins up at me, and I can’t tell you a time I’ve ever felt so fucking alive. Taking my hand she spins herself around and the smiles never leave our faces. She comes back toward my body and sings the words to me as I peer down at her. Grin firmly in place. We dance as I twirl her around every so often, and towards the end of the song she pu
lls my hand, leans all the way back causing me to grip her hand tightly to keep her from falling down. Her hair and wings touch the floor as her head leans all the way back while she spins us in a circle.
The song ends and instantly replays. She stands upright to me, and I pull her to my chest. A piece of hair is in her face, so I reach up and brush it out. Her eyes close when I touch her causing me to sigh. I’d give anything to kiss her right now. Instead, I look into her eyes and sing the song to her. The song ends and begins again. I’m not sure what else Chauncey wants me to do. He’s not calling cut and giving instruction.
I throw it all out there not giving a shit who sees. I’m tired of hiding. I’m so fucking tired of feeling like the way I feel about her is wrong. I may not deserve her, but I’d cherish her. I always have. I think back to when I was a boy who was dirty and broken and often hungry. She put me back together, only a child herself. She cherished me and saved me from a darkness I still fight every day.
I lean my forehead down to hers and sing to her again. She looks into my eyes for the first part of the song, and then her lashes lay against her face as she takes in my words. My hands grip her hips when I felt overwhelmed with emotion and she lets out a sigh that tells me she’s feeling this shit too.
Fuck me.
I pull her closer and she lays her head on my chest. I continue to sing the words into her ear, knowing she can hear every word. I know she can feel every goddamn one too. My chest is tight and fucking hurts, but it’s a good pain.
The song stops and starts again, with no instruction from Chauncey. I’d wish he’d fucking say something. I have no idea what I’m doing, other than dancing with this woman and putting all my shit out there for everyone to see. As the song plays Chauncey finally calls cut. Thank fuck for that.
We separate, but I leave my hand on the small of her back, not ready to stop touching her.
“That was fucking great,” he says.
“Thanks,”
“I think we should do the scene in the window ledge while her makeup is still perfect,” he instructs.
“Yeah, okay,” I say.
He instructs the stage hands to set up the scene. It won’t take much but they have to get the cameras in position.
Jessica pounces on us while we’re waiting.
“How come your angel couldn’t be a black girl? This video is so fucking racist!” she says as she peers up into my eyes like a little school girl.
“Ummm, what?” I say.
“Mother fucker, I am crushing so hard on you right now. Hold me like that, please,” she says all breathy and then attaches herself to me.
Henley giggles, and I know I’m going to have to dance with Jessica or she’ll stop the entire process of making this video until I give her what I want.
“Cue the song!” I yell and someone plays it.
Henley walks away as I dance with Jessica and I feel it. I hate when she’s not beside me.
Jessica slaps me on the chest as I watch Henley walk to her brothers, “Look at me lonnnnngggingly, damnit!”
I give her the same smart ass look Henley gave me and Jess chuckles.
“Damn I gotta beg men to look at me like that now. What the fuck is wrong with me?” she asks half-serious.
“Not a damn thing,” I answer.
“Then you should kiss me like you did when we were sixteen. I’m a big girl now, so I’m gonna want that dick too.”
I grin, “I’m not going to fuck or kiss you Jessica.”
“You said there wasn’t anything wrong with me!” she protests. “God I need to get laid.”
“I’m tired of fucking for sport,” I confess with a look that tells her I’m serious.
“Jesus, Kip. What’s up with you?”
I twirl her around.
“I’m tired,” I answer.
“Well sing me the song and I’ll leave you the hell alone. I’ll rent a male escort tonight,” she teases.
“I can’t.”
“You can’t what?” she scrunches her face up.
“Sing you the song.”
“You sang it to…,” she stops. “Holy mother fucking shit, ass, fucking hell… oh my God!” Her eyes almost pop out of her head.
“Don’t make a scene,” I plead.
She looks up at me, “Oh God, how did I not see this?”
I lick my lips and look away not sure how to explain myself to her.
“I… uh… I,” I start.
“No.”
“No?” I almost shout.
She thinks I shouldn’t feel this way? Fuck, I’m tired of feeling guilty.
“No. You don’t get to be ashamed of how you fucking feel. If anyone deserves to be with her, you do Kip Paxton. You two are fucking perfect for each other. I’m just… I see it so clearly now. This isn’t new.”
“No,” I admit.
“You just stood by and watched her with Jagger… and then Ian. How could you do that?” she’s baffled.
“I didn’t want to feel this way, Jess. I wanted to love someone else. I wanted it to be simple and easy and not hurt anyone. There was unresolved shit between her and Jagger. They were always attracted to each other, and I couldn’t compete with that. What was I supposed to do?”
“So you’re just letting it happen?” she questions.
“We all have to live our lives Jessica. Her and Jag needed to explore that, and I didn’t have a choice but to watch it. Ian could be what she needed him to be at a time I couldn’t.”
“The song is about her.”
“Yeah.”
“Does she know?”
“Yeah.”
“Wait, if you’ve slung dick in her and I haven’t gotten a play-by-play I’m going to be so fucking pissed at her,” she smiles.
“We haven’t,” I shake my head.
“But something has happened?”
“Yes.”
She squeals and then presses her lips together in an attempt to reign it in.
Right before the song ends I tell her, “Go to Koi, Jess. The man loves you. You fight it every step of the way. We don’t always have tomorrow, we all know that better than anyone. Let him love you. You’re so fucking gorgeous and funny. You’re smart and talented and can be the baddest bitch or one of the guys. You’re perfect, and he wants you. He loves you so much. You’re only downfall is you are your own worst enemy. Stop fighting it. No matter how much you were hurt as a child, Koi never did that to you. Koi has always been there for you and would throw himself in front of a moving bus for you.”
“Just like you have always been there for Henley?” she asks.
“Just. Like. That.” I smile and wink.
“When are you proposing?” she asks.
“Way to change the subject, Jess.”
“Well?”
“Jesus Christ woman! No one is getting married.”
“Yet.”
“Yet,” I agree.
“Jagger?”
“That ship has sailed, don’t you think?” I ask.
“Yeah, it has. I don’t think he’s over her though.”
“He’s not. He may never be, but it’s his own damn fault. I don’t want to hurt him, but I’m tired girl. I’m so fucking tired of fighting this shit inside of me.”
The song ends and Jessica grins and walks away. She looks over her shoulder and says, “You’re wrong. You didn’t have to compete for shit. You were just the better man.”
I nod in understanding, finally feeling like maybe I did the right thing by letting her live her life and hoping she would see me when it was time. Maybe I was right all along. It was a long fucking road though.
Chauncey yells for us, so I meet her at the window he stands near. He instructs me to sit on the ledge with my back to frame of the window, and then he instructs Henley to straddle me.
“Yeah, mama,” I yell out.
Cheers erupt around the set.
“I’m going
to kill you,” Koi teases.
“This is all a sacrifice in the name of art fucker,” I reply.
“Yeah? What are you sacrificing?” Memphis asks.
“Blue balls,” I answer.
“Nuff said,” Koi says. “You have my blessing you asshole. No hands under the dress or I’ll end you.”
“Fuck you.”
Chauncey gives us direction, sits behind the camera in his chair and calls action as the song plays again. Henley and I pass a cigarette and whiskey bottle back and forth. We sit in a window ledge and have a conversation about helping Cash learn how to play the guitar. I still can’t convince her on the robotic opposable thumbs. We laugh and talk and the beautiful thing is no one can hear us.
“You’re the worst mom ever,” I insult.
“Because I won’t spend tens of thousands of dollars on something that’s fucking insane to begin with, only for Cash to chew up because it’s shiny? Fuck that. You’re a bad dad, always spoiling him and making me be the bad guy.”
I put the whiskey bottle to my lips and try to figure out if she realizes what she just said.
“What?” she asks as she blows out a billow of smoke.
“You called me his dad,” I answer.
It’s stupid, I fucking get it. I’m a man and we’ve got stunted emotions because our penis takes up so much time and thought process. It’s biological, not our fault. I mean I’m a little emotional right now because she called me his dad and not Uncle Kip. Cash is a dog, not a child, I get it. I mean he’s kinda like a child, coolest dog ever, but we’ve had him together since the beginning, and now she’s calling me his dad.
“Yeah,” she says like it’s no big deal, but it is.
“I didn’t want to be his uncle,” I announce.
She takes a swig of whiskey and then licks her lips when she’s done, causing my dick to strain against my poor zipper.
“You’re not,” she says.
She takes another swig and before she can lick what’s left behind, I grab her face with my hands and bring it down to mine where I put my lips on hers. I kiss her with everything I’ve got. I drive my tongue into her mouth where her own dances with me. She grabs a handful of my shirt in her hands, and rocks against me. Fuck me, I’m gonna come on myself.
Guitar Face Series Box Set: Books 1-4 Page 81