Guitar Face Series Box Set: Books 1-4

by Sasha Marshall

  “Bae? I like that. We were in the middle of something, Hen,” he scolds me like a child.

  “Kip, I have a meeting you can finish dry humping me when I get back. If you’re a good boy I might even touch it when I get back,” I wiggle my eyebrows.

  “Promise?” he raises his eyebrows.

  “Yup,” I wink.

  “If you’re not back in an hour I will kidnap you from these two barbarians,” he says.

  I manage to get through the door without Kip attached to me and follow Memphis and Koi to a meeting room so we can set up for the meeting.

  “Please don’t ever say you will do anything with Kip’s dick in my presence… ever again,” Memphis says.

  “I can’t believe you’re fucking Paxton,” Koi laughs.

  I shrug, “I’m not.”

  “What?” they both turn their heads.

  “Haven’t fucked him,” I admit.

  Koi looks up at the ceiling of the elevator, “Please dear Lord forgive me for what I’m about to do. If you haven’t fucked him what’s got him acting like a lovesick teenager.”

  “Not going there.”

  “Blow job,” Memphis says.

  “Nope.”

  “Wait, what?” Memphis asks.

  “No blow job.”

  “So you have not put his dick in any orifice of your body?” Koi asks.

  “Nope.”

  “Holy fuck, he really…,” Koi looks shell shocked.

  “What?”

  He rubs his hands over his face, “I… wow… I thought… I don’t even know what to say.”

  “About what?”

  “Nothing,” Koi looks so serious.

  “I’m confused,” I say.

  “Koi is confused by Kip’s intentions I believe,” Memphis says.

  “What?”

  “Can’t talk about it,” Koi says.

  “Why not?” I ask.

  “Gotta talk to Kip,” he answers.

  “Jesus Christ. This is some kinda bro code shit, right?” I throw my hands in the air.

  “Yep.”

  Fuck it. I’m not going to get anywhere so I sit down in the conference room and let them set up the hardware.

  Red’s handsome face comes on the screen.

  “’Lo,” he says and looks into the computer like it came from outer space.

  “Dad, you look right here,” mom says.

  When he realizes he can see and hear us on the screen he smiles, “Well would ya look at that?”

  We exchange greetings with him and watch him light up like Christmas, and Chauncey joins the conference which really throws Red for a loop.

  “So you’re in Detroit?” Red asks.

  “Yeah,” Koi says.

  “And you’re in Los Angeles?” he asks Chauncey.

  “Yes, sir,” he answers.

  “Well I’ll be damned,” he says.

  We finally get down to the business about the video. Chauncey gives us an amazing vision of using old home videos for much of the video since it complements the song so well. He also wants to film us performing the song and hanging out in Red’s studio, where all this crazy shit began. I love the concept. It’s simple and yet is speaks so loudly. It gives a visual meaning to the words I wrote.

  Red, being the southern man he is makes sure Chauncey has somewhere to visit for Thanksgiving. I don’t know what made him ask Chauncey, but I swore I saw tears form in Chauncey’s face. Koi, Memphis, and I made sure we were all inviting him, but Chauncey gave a noncommittal answer. Red must’ve sensed he has no one. I’ll call him back when I get upstairs and figure out what that was all about.

  We say our goodbyes and Memphis talks Koi and I into having a beer in the hotel bar.

  “What was all that shit with Chauncey?” Memphis asks as the barkeep slides beers in our direction.

  “Don’t know yet. Red sensed something though. When that man senses something, you learn quickly not to question it. I guess if you don’t grow up with it, it can be a little disconcerting, but we’ve seen shit with him that would blow your mind,” Koi explains.

  “Ha, even If I questioned it I wouldn’t question it to his face. I’m scared might kick my ass,” Memphis admits.

  “One of the few outlaws still left, bruh,” Koi says.

  “Shit was so much harder for a lot of them back then. Red was American Indian so nobody fucking wanted him. Parents were alcoholics, and their race was probably just as despised as the blacks back then. Then Red hooks up with the black blues musicians up in Chicago, and he was even more of a pariah. Hooked up with the white trash outlaw musicians in country music after that and man those mother fuckers lived hard. After that, it was the hippies. You don’t see a great deal of shit about anything beyond the Civil Rights Movement in the South during the sixties, but southerners weren’t very open to the hippies either. Times were changing, and the South has a history of not wanting to let go of ancient beliefs or traditions. Red was hated by many of the people that lived around us for a long time. They’d change sidewalks when they saw him coming, spit on him, and when he married a white woman… I’ve heard there was a time he was afraid they might string his ass up in a tree. Red never gave a fuck what people thought about him and he wasn’t going to let someone tell him who he could like or love. Still doesn’t give a fuck,” I say.

  “I respected the shit out of him the first minute I met him. He’s got this presence that says ‘I have infinite knowledge, but I will put my shit kickers so far up your ass if you make me.’ The old guys don’t act like some of these fucking pricks playing music out there today. It’s like they forget their own humanity when green flows their way,” Memphis says.

  “Money does crazy shit to people,” I say.

  “None of you seem to be like that, though,” Memphis smiles.

  “Ha! Red would put his shit kickers up our asses,” Koi laughs.

  “Henley!” Jessica screams from across the bar.

  We turn on bar stools to see her out of breath. I exchange concerned looks with my brothers and we immediately go to her while she’s leaned over catching her breath.

  “He’s dead,” she huffs out.

  “Who’s fucking dead?” Koi asks.

  “Kip….”

  “What?!!!” I scream but don’t wait for an answer.

  I run out of the bar to the elevator to find him.

  “Henley, stop! It’s not Kip,” Koi says.

  The three of them reach me at the elevator just as the doors open for us.

  “What the fuck?” I look at Jessica.

  “Kip’s dad passed away unexpectedly this morning. I was trying to say Kip’s dad, but I was out of breath,” she says.

  I look to my brother’s for confirmation, but it’s useless because they just heard for themselves.

  “Oh God,” I can’t seem to find my bearings.

  I lean against the inside of the elevator as Memphis repeatedly pushes the button that closes the doors. I will the elevator to speed the fuck up so I can get to Kip. I just need to put my hands and eyes on him.

  When the elevator doors open I run towards our room and insert the key card. The goddamn thing won’t open so I push it back in.

  “He’s not here,” Jessica says from behind me.

  “What?” I ask.

  “He called me up here to ask me to make a reservation for you two tonight for dinner. His mom called not long after I got here, I didn’t even have time to make a reservation. His mom was still at the hospital and I could hear her through the phone. She was hysterical, bless her heart,” Jessica explains.

  I open the door and walk in not missing that it still smells like him. I close my eyes and take it in.

  “His bags are still here,” I say.

  “He stood up, told me his dad died, and walked out the door. I’ve been looking for you ever since to tell you,” she says.

  I pull my phone out to see if he called
or text and I just didn’t hear it, but he didn’t. Koi and Memphis do the same, and nothing.

  I call him immediately and it goes to voicemail. I don’t know what to say on it so I hang up and call again and again.

  I give up and try texting, “Kip, please call me and tell me where you are. Please. I’ll come to wherever you are, just call me.”

  Koi and Memphis text him too. They also gather the rest of our band members and even a lot of the crew members. We’re all pacing the room and halls trying to find him. The roadies look all over the hotel for him, but he’s nowhere to be found.

  I close myself in the bathroom and call him one more time to see if he’ll pick up, but I get his voicemail.

  I sink down the wall to the floor and sigh into the phone, “Kip. I don’t know where you are right now and I’m so worried but I know you’re doing what you need to do. I guess I just wanted you to know that I’m here, waiting on you. I’m waiting on you to tell me where to run to because when you tell me where you’re at I’m running to you. I can’t change this or fix it, all I can do is run to you and give you all I’ve got. All I can do is give you whatever it is you need to be okay. When you’re ready please call me. Be okay.”

  I emerge from the bathroom and sit on the bed with my head in my hands.

  Please call me Kip. Please be okay.

  Cam kneels down in front of me and takes my hands from me, so I sit up straight.

  He purses his lips together the way you do when you don’t know what to fucking say but still want to show someone how sorry you are for them. I’m fucking lost not knowing where he is.

  “Sam called. She’s spoken to him briefly. He took a cab straight to the airport and went back to Georgia,” Cam informs.

  “I would’ve went with him, Cam,” I cry.

  “I know girl. Why don’t we go to him now? He needs us,” Cam finishes.

  I nod my head and watch roadies and body guards come into my room and remove the suitcases that were never unzipped from it.

  “Sam got us a private jet,” Koi says and I nod.

  “She’s cancelling the next two shows and rescheduling them as soon as possible. She’ll release a statement about Kip’s dad along with the announcement on the shows,” Cam adds.

  “Let’s go find him,” Rhys says.

  We all load into a limo, and normally they would bitch because we’re all crammed into one limo. I guess that seems trivial now. We ride in silence to the airport, everyone concerned for Kip and saddened by his loss. His father was not a good man, but he is still his dad and it hurts no matter how bad your relationship is with your parent.

  We remain in the limo for another hour while we wait for the plane to be prepared. It’s a two hour flight straight into Macon, and will take us another thirty minutes to get to Kip’s mom’s house.

  Before the flight takes off, I send him one last text, “Boarding a plane to Macon now. I’ll be there as soon I as I can. I’m so sorry about your dad and I know that doesn’t fix it or the shit you must feel right now. If I could take that from you, I would. I would take it on for you in a heartbeat because I don’t want you to hurt. I’ve been so worried about you. I miss you.”

  I power my phone off and settle in for the flight.

  Jagger approaches me and Memphis thirty minutes after takeoff, “Can I sit with her for a minute?”

  Memphis looks at me with concern, but I nod to indicate Jag can talk to me.

  Memph vacates his seat for Jagger, who sits down and sighs.

  “I’m okay with it,” he says.

  “Me and Kip?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I didn’t mean for it to happen,” I admit.

  “Maybe not consciously,” he says with no anger.

  I look at him with raised eyebrows.

  “I’ve thought about this for days. I once asked you if you and Caleb had ever been intimate or if he had feelings for you past your friendship. I explained then that watching you two play together was almost like watching two people make love. I get it that you two connected on some higher level without having to physically connect. Caleb was a part of you, I’ve always known that. I was selfish with Kip, I didn’t mean to be. Sometimes you feel something so intense that you forget to look around you. I forgot to look at Kip. The day he kissed you in front of all of us made me angry and envious, but I saw him on the video of the crash the day you watched it for Chauncey and him.”

  I sigh, “Yeah. I saw it too. I felt like a shit for not seeing it sooner.”

  “I watched me and him fall apart beside you and with you, but the minute he ran into the video for the first time, I realized that he is another part of you similar to the way Caleb was… or still is. The look on his face was one only a man who thought the most precious thing in this world was about to be taken from him. As much as I love you, he loves you more,” he rubs his hands over his face.

  “Jagger,” I start but don’t know what to say.

  “He deserves you. I never did. I tried to deserve you once, but I fucked it up at every turn. I know now I lost you the day I told you Caleb’s mom was right that night. I lost you forever when I told you that you should’ve died instead of Caleb. I really didn’t mean it, Hen. In all the shit I’ve done and said to hurt you, I’ll always regret that the most. I’m sorry I said that to you.”

  “I know. I know you didn’t mean it. There was some truth in some of it.”

  “No, there wasn’t. You just needed time to learn how to be the you life created, molded, and shaped. We pushed and prodded, and couldn’t deal with you not being okay. You and Caleb had always been our guiding light, and then suddenly in the blink of an eye, neither of you were. I don’t know if we knew what we were looking for in you, but I know we wanted you to be the girl you were before he died. I wanted you to be that girl. With time to put things in perspective, I realize I wanted something from you that you couldn’t give me. I expected something from you that was unreasonable and selfish, and I’m sorry. I wanted you to be someone you’re not, and no one should expect that. I’m not sorry for any of the time we spent together or the time I spent loving you. I’d like to burn a lot of shit from your memory, make you forget that I ever hurt you, but maybe this was good for me. Maybe I can learn what not to do next time.”

  “Jag, I wouldn’t have you take back one thing you did because I’m sitting right here as the person I’m supposed to be. The shit we went through, both good and bad, it made me who I am. While living through it was rough, I wouldn’t give it up. I love you Jag. Not the way I originally thought I did, but we had history before all this, we had friendship. We had love and respect for each other, and I see no reason for that to not be in our future.”

  “Kip?” he asks.

  “You think Kip would want us to hate each other?”

  “No.”

  “Do you think Kip would want us to ignore each other or feel uncomfortable in the same room?”

  “No.”

  “Then I think Kip will be just fine with the Jagley we are now,” I smile.

  “It always sounded way too much like jack leg for me anyways,” he smiles. “Kipley sounds way better.”

  I scoff.

  “It does and you know it. He loves you, more than I ever could. He’s a good man, a better man than me. Do me a favor?”

  “What’s that?”

  “Love him like you always have and never take him for granted. And please don’t forget I’m here. I’m still your friend, and I want to laugh with you and make music with you. Please don’t ever take that away.”

  “I never did, Jag.”

  “No, I did that,” he says.

  “No, you didn’t. Sometimes we need space and time to heal wounds. And sometimes we need tragedy to put shit in perspective. Kip’s dad is gone and he’ll never have the opportunity to make shit right with the son he never saw as one of the most amazing people to walk this earth. I’m glad we made this right. I nev
er wanted to hurt you. I didn’t see Kip coming, it just happened and there wasn’t time for me to sit you down and explain shit because fuck if I understand it all.”

  “I know you two wouldn’t hurt me. I’m an ass who made himself unapproachable, that’s on me.”

  He pulls me into a tight hug and we stay like that for some time. I feel the burden that is Jagger ease from me, and I hope it feels the same way for him.

  “Nothing to understand with Kip. The man loves you and would give up his next breath to make sure you were happy. He’d throw himself in front of a bullet or fight an entire army to save you, to spare you one ounce of pain. Kip’s not going to sit you down and have the exclusivity talk. He won’t send you a note and ask you to check yes or no. Kip marches to the beat of his own drum and will do shit the way he always has. He’ll assume you were his from the first time he kissed you, and he’ll expect you to just know what goes on in his crazy fucking mind,” he explains with amusement.

  “Wait, I’m supposed to just know what goes on it that insane asylum?” I ask.

  “Oh, Henley I do not envy you there. If you’re honest with yourself, you’re the only one who has ever known what goes on in his big, genius brain.”

  I laugh, “What do you think people would say if they knew how intelligent he is?”

  He chuckles, “The government would lock him away forever, so he doesn’t take over the world.”

  “Who?” Koi asks.

  “Kip,” Jag answers.

  “Why would they want his crazy ass?” Koi asks.

  “Because if they ever realized he is as smart as he is, they would never allow him in public,” Jagger says.

  Koi takes him in and then me. “You two good?”

  “Yeah,” we both say.

  “Thank fuck for that.”

  ***

  I walk up the front stairs to Kip’s childhood home, one that holds troubled memories for him. I remember the first time I stepped foot in the house, you could feel the misery in the air. This place almost destroyed him, and I’ve been thankful every day of my life it didn’t extinguish the love and light within him.

  Maxine opens the door when Koi knocks and she looks right past Koi at me. She takes a few steps towards me and then throws her arms my neck and squeezes tight. There was once a time I would’ve been repulsed by her touch for what she had done to Kip when he was a boy, but Kip made peace with that and I had to as well.