And so I take another leap of faith, and hold the heart against my chest. I can feel my own pulse pounding in my ear as I push the stone against my flesh.
It burns my chest in ways it doesn't my hand, and I nearly drop it.
Someone across from me calls out in pain, but I stay focused.
I press harder, pushing it into my flesh, like pushing a stone into bread dough.
And to my astonishment, it sinks in.
Pain flashes fiercely in my body, and I bite my tongue until it bleeds to hold in my scream. My whole body feels on fire. Not from the outside, but from within. As if a burning inferno was lit inside my chest and is spreading to all my other organs.
I drop to my knees on the stone floor, my skin splitting open from the impact, but I hardly notice or care.
The fire consumes me. Eats away at my tissue. At my soul. At my mind.
Everything spins. Bile rises in my throat, but it feels like the flames of a dragon rather than vomit as I spew it out on the ground before me. Tears burn my eyes and turn to steam on my cheeks. Sweat pours out of me, but dries instantly on my body. The room around me topples onto itself, and all goes dark.
Everywhere around me is fire. Flames growing brighter and stronger. A voice silences the blaze, but orange glow still permeates my vision.
"You are of the Chosen. You are a child of Ash. Rise, Ashknights, and take your place amongst your kin."
I blink and see Master Orcael standing before us. It was his voice I heard. I stand on shaky legs and look around. My squad mates are all here, and a softly glowing ember burns in each of their chests. I look down at mine, and see the same red glow from the dragon heart peaking out through my flesh, as if a part of me. It pulses to my own heartbeat, and I realize what has happened.
It is done. I am an Ashknight.
With a dragon heart beating in my chest.
Thirty-Two
Goodbyes
That night there is no talking as we make our way back to our room. We imagined ourselves celebrating, once upon a time, when we were a year or two into our training and envisioning what it would be like to get to this point. We imagined all of us would be here, aside from Naoki. But they had left us so early on, that while losing them was a tragedy, it didn't reshape the core of our group the way losing Enzo has. He won the day for us, and lost everything in turn.
We all sleep deeply, heavily. Our bodies still adjusting to the new hearts beating inside each of us. The faint glow of red casting ominous shadows on the stone walls. I'm told the glow will fade in time, that it will only be visible when using Spirit. But for now, its pulse is strong and bright.
My insides feel different when I wake. I no longer feel the pain of last night, but I feel something. Something new worming into my body, a kind of shadow creeping into my veins, changing me. I look around to see if anyone else is affected, but I can't tell. We all look spent. Sad. Exhilarated. A contradictory mix of emotions that none of us can quite reconcile.
Master Vane greets us as he has done every day for years, with a booming voice and his wolf by his side, before the sun rises.
"Good morning, Ashlings." His eyes twinkle and he smiles. "Or should I say, Ashknights."
We all stand at attention, eyes focused on him. We have no idea what happens next. No one prepared us for this part.
"I am proud of each and every one of you," he says in a quieter voice. "This road has been hard. Long. Perilous. But here you are. Stronger, tougher, more skilled in your use of Spirit. You might think you are done, that you have completed your training." He paces, making eye contact with us. "Your training is just beginning."
There are a few sighs as we consider what he means. How hard we've worked. How far we've pushed ourselves over the years.
"But alas, this will be goodbye for us. My time here is complete, for now, and I will be returning to my world." There's a bittersweet edge to his words. He will miss this. Us. We will miss him. But he gets to be back with his wife, his daughter. His family.
"I couldn't leave without saying goodbye. And without apologizing."
My eyebrow raises in surprise.
"I am responsible for Naoki and Enzo. I should have trained them better. Pushed them harder so they wouldn't break. It's a burden I could not share with you, as your master. But I'm no longer your master. Now, I am just Vane. Now, we are equals."
He grasps each of our arms and nods, until he reaches me. Then he smiles. "I will be telling my wife about you. Someday you two should meet. In the meantime… " he leans in, whispering so only I can hear. "Trust no one with your true identity. Do not assume that your secret is safe. Do not trust the Ashlords. There are a great many political machinations at work right now, and you are at the center of most of them. Watch yourself, and know this." He pulls back to look me in the eyes. "You have a friend in me."
My mouth drops. "How long have you known?" I ask.
He just smiles. "I knew before you did." He turns and walks away, then stops before he reaches the door. "Be well, Ashknights. Guard each other. Guard yourselves. It is only then that you can guard the Nine Worlds."
The room seems emptier once Vane is gone, and I suck in a deep breath and turn to my squad. "Anyone know what happens next?"
"You get a better living arrangement," a familiar voice says from behind me.
I turn to see Kaden and Phoenix standing there, both smiling.
His look lingers on me longer than the rest, before he speaks again. "Ashknights, this room is now needed for the incoming Ashlings. You will be enjoying much nicer accommodations. Pack your things and meet us at the barn. It's time for a field trip."
They leave as suddenly as they came, and the six of us stand there, mouths agape. Everything is moving too fast. But this is the way of it. We lived the same routine day in and day out for years, and now it's all shifting under our feet. What we thought was concrete was really just sand.
Quicksand.
"Are we leaving the Cliff?" Mabel asks, some tentative hope in her voice.
It's not that this hasn't been a good place to us. We have access to everything we need. But the walls start closing in on you after a while, being so isolated and removed from the world.
Landon shrugs, his eyes finding Zev. "Your books say anything about this?"
"Not specifically," he says, while filling his bag mostly with said books. "Though of course Ashknights and Ashlords have a variety of living arrangements depending on what or who they are assigned to. I had thought we would get what most new Ashknights get… stuck at the Wall in their shitty squatter huts."
I shudder, and hope very much that we do not end up in one of those huts by the Wall.
It doesn't take us long to pack our meager belongings, though Ashpaw is less excited about this adventure. I carry him in a makeshift pouch I wear at my chest. He claws and hisses at first, but eventually settles down as we head to the barn. Kaden and Phoenix wait for us with their horses. I mount Moon and we all travel down the long cliff.
I have a million questions I want to ask, but the narrow, rocky road that leads from the Cliff to the village is precarious and requires us travel in single file. There's no chance to ride up to Kaden's side and talk to him.
Instead, I ride behind him, and watch the ease with which he handles himself on horseback. How his strong back and arms are relaxed but in perfect form. How his thighs grip the horse so that he's never completely resting on the saddle. A rush of warmth passes through me as my mind flashes to our first kiss, interrupted by Skip. How new this world seemed back then. How crazy and scary and overwhelming it all was.
Now it's home. Now, I have to struggle to remember what I left behind. It's only been a few years, but some days it feels like a thousand lifetimes. Everything here is completely different. No world wide web connects us to everything and everyone. Here the world is smaller, shrunken onto itself based on where you can get on foot or horseback. Carriage if you're lucky. I've seen the same handful of faces every day since I arrived. I've eaten
the same foods for each meal. Repeated the same routines.
But then, no matter how big the world is, or how well connected the people on Gai fancy themselves with their cell phones and internet… at the end of the day aren't we all creatures of habit? Seeing the same faces, doing the same things, thinking the same bloody thoughts, day in and day out until we die. My life may not really be as different as I thought.
We reach the end of the winding road and I loosen the reins a bit on my horse so she can nip at the high growing grass that we pass.
Kaden takes us through the nearby village, to the end, where we find ourselves passing through the richer neighborhoods, where homes are bigger and built further apart, where the children are dressed in nicer clothing and the families have staff that work for them in their homes.
We stop at the end of a dirt lane.
Kaden looks up and beams. "Here's your new home."
Zev frowns. "This is your idea of a better living arrangement?"
I'm glad he said it, because I'm sure it's what we are all thinking.
It's big, the manor that looms before us. It's definitely big.
It's also a complete mess. Shutters falling off windows. A porch that looks like it will cave in with a strong wind. Peeling paint and rotting wood. Weeds overgrown in the expansive yard and extended property.
We all tie our horses to poles, since a quick glance at the stables shows that the hey is rotting with mold and bugs and would likely kill any horse we housed in there.
Kaden ignores Zev's barbed comment and leads us to the porch, but before he can open the door, it opens on its own.
No, not on its own. A man stands at the entrance, dressed in fine clothes that present a sharp contrast to the shambles of the manor. He wears long black robes that look made of satin, and a heavy golden key hangs around his neck. He's got a white beard that lands at his sternum in a sharp point, and eyebrows that form points above his eyes, giving him a menacing look. But when he smiles, laugh lines crinkle around his eyes, softening his face. "You have arrived. Lovely."
The man steps out of the door. "You must forgive the state of things. This beauty has been too long neglected." He looks at Kaden and Phoenix with no small amount of reproach on his weathered face. "But now that we have a proper squad here, all that is about to change."
Kaden chuckles. "This is Drenwald Appleseed, the Keeper of Dragoneyes Manor."
Drenwald bows his head. "It is an honor to be of service here once more."
From behind him a young man appears, no more than fourteen years old. "This is my apprentice, Devon Appleseed. Someday he will take over as Keeper and wear the Keys of his calling. Our family has served as Keepers to the Order of Ash since the time of the elder dragons." He bows deeply, and little Appleseed, as I can't help but think of him in my head, mimics his elder.
Kaden turns to us. "This will be your home now. And you are now our squad," he says, referring to himself and Phoenix.
Landon raises an eyebrow. "I heard you don't take squads under your command anymore."
Kaden acknowledges his words with a slight head nod. "All things change." His eyes flicker to mine briefly, before he makes eye contact with each of us. "You six have proven yourselves exceptional. You will not be wasted at the Wall. You will be trained in advanced skills typically reserved for Ashlords. Henceforth we are the Dragoneyes Squad."
A thrill of excitement runs up my spine as I consider what this means. Not only will I be closer to Kaden, but I will learn more. Have more freedom. Train harder. I might actually have a chance of finding Pike and avenging Kara.
As if reading my mind, Kaden looks at me again, his eyes carrying all of our shared secrets and regrets. "Come, we will show you around before work begins."
The tour is brief, but eye-opening. The entryway is huge, with vaulted ceilings and an old candelabra with remnants of dripping wax clinging to it. Next, is the Great Hall, which is furnished with chairs and couches covered in canvas on one side and four large rectangular tables positioned to form a square, with a huge fire pit in the center. You could comfortably seat the entire village at these tables. A large fireplace with a year's worth of ash piled in it is the focal point of the sitting area. The kitchen is designed with large banquets in mind, with oversized pots and pans, ovens for baking and generous fireplaces for smoking and roasting food.
Connected to the kitchen are the buttery with barrels of ale and wine, and the pantry, which should be filled with food, but houses only a lump of something that has since grown fuzz, and rotten straw. I assume the storeroom is just as empty. The wash room has two large baths for hot and cold water, the Keeper says. "It is a custom for some to alternate between the two for enhanced blood flow and youth." The baths could fit our entire squad and then some, but they have been drained of water and are collecting dust and mold.
And then there is the garderobe, which contains the most disgusting toilets I've ever seen. We can't even enter the room without gagging. I don't envy whoever gets that clean up job, though judging by the look on little Appleseed's young face, he's the likely victim. Poor kid.
The library is massive, but dusty, with many books disintegrating from lack of care. "Careful of the books, they have paper mites that also enjoy human flesh."
Zev pulls his hand back from the bookshelf so fast the book falls to the ground, sending up a mushroom cloud of dust.
Landon chuckles and Zev shrugs casually, but I notice he keeps checking his hand for flesh eating mites.
"And finally," Kaden says, waving his arm dramatically toward another hall, "we have the solar. Where everyone gets their own, private sleeping quarters."
This perks us all up. We've been sleeping as a group for years, but there isn't a single one of us that doesn't crave privacy. I thought living with Pat, Blake and the kids was chaos, but at least I had my own room.
We make our way into this wing of the house with a lot more enthusiasm, and even though everything is in need of cleaning and repair, we each claim a room. I take the time to let Ashpaw out of the pouch on my chest. He's been getting restless since we arrived.
My room, like the others, is large, with a fireplace, what looks to be a queen sized bed, a desk, dresser, side drawers and a two person wooden table. Ashpaw jumps from my arms and begins sniffing around, exploring all the secrets only a cat can find. I gingerly test the bed and when no bugs crawl out, I sit. It's more comfortable than I expected. I sniff the mattress and am pleasantly surprised at how fresh it smells.
"The Keeper had the beds cleaned, re-stuffed and stitched first thing," a boy's voice says. I look up and see little Appleseed.
"I'm Devon," he says.
"I'm Sky. Nice to meet you."
He doesn't smile, but his serious expression softens as Ashpaw comes out from hiding to rub against his legs.
"I'm impressed," I say. "He doesn't normally like anyone but me and my squad. But you… he likes."
"I 'aint… " he pauses, correcting himself as his face squishes together in frustration. "I have never lived with a cat before. Where did you get him?"
"You know how it is. Two souls meant to be always find each other eventually."
He squints as though he does not in fact know how it is. I change the subject, sussing out something he said. "You live here then? Full time?"
I assumed they came and went like normal employees. But of course, not here, in this world. That's not how things are.
He nods. "We lived somewhere else before, but the Keeper, he was waiting for this one to need him again. It's where he was born, you see. Where I should have been born."
"Ah. Well, welcome home to you both then. And please, thank him for making the bedding suitable. I have a feeling we will all need a good rest after today."
Devon chuckles unexpectedly, then nods and dashes out, but not before saying quickly. "I'll bring you linens right away."
He's gone before I can reply. I think for another moment about the boy, this place, this new chapter in my
life. Then I slide off the bed, open the curtains to a window in the room, and then give Ashpaw a pat on the head and a stern warning to use the outside for his bathroom needs.
I return to the Great Hall and wait as the rest of the squad returns from exploring their new quarters.
Phoenix turns to face the six of us. "You need to get this manor into proper living condition. There are also the outside areas that need tending to. The stables, the training arena, the gardens, the forge. Kaden and I have some errands to run while Keeper Drenwald gives you each your new assignments."
They both turn to leave as Drenwald nods and takes over. He assesses each of us, asking for our names, which we give, and within a moment seems to feel confident in assigning us our tasks.
"Zev, you will repair and restock the library." Zev's eyes brighten and I suppress a smile. Maybe the old man has some psychic abilities after all.
"Bix, head to the forge and do what you can. It needs to be fully functioning." Bix nods and seems proud of such an honorable task.
Mabel is assigned the garden, and I'm surprised she smiles at that, looking relieved. I didn't know she knows how to garden.
Landon is given the training arena and Raven the kitchen.
I'm praying I'm not assigned the toilets, but the Keeper says I'm responsible for the stables, and that he and Devon will handle the rest.
The poor boy turns even more pale than he is already, with the tips of his ears turning red.
We exchange glances at each other, and I know we're all thinking the same thing. How do we fix up this place? It will involve a lot of manual labor and many trips to the village for supplies.
It's daunting. I stand before the stalls and see how much bad hay has to be removed and burned, and the scrubbing, painting, wood repair… all of it. But I smile.
This is hard work, but it's straightforward. It's therapeutic. Straining my muscles, sweating, watching as the space changes in front of my eyes.
I pick up a rake and begin. Ashpaw joins me from time to time to meow something very important. Mostly I ignore him and keep working.
Of Dreams and Dragons Page 27