by Lori Foster
He patted Ray’s cheek. “Come on, sweetheart. Open your eyes for me.”
Ray moaned softly, turning her head away from him. She looked so damned debilitated with her face washed clean of color and dark circles ringing her eyes. Her bloodless lips parted on a sigh and Eli wanted to defend her against the world. He couldn’t stop touching her.
As his thumb drifted over her smooth, stubborn chin, her lashes flickered. She blinked vague eyes open. “What happened?”
Matt leaned over her. “You fainted dead away and would have hit the floor except that Eli caught you, even with your dog chewing on his butt.”
Eli didn’t look at Matt when he said, “You spilled the tea, Matt. Why don’t you get her some more?”
Seeing Matt rush from the room without question, Ray frowned. “Don’t order my brother around. I don’t like it.”
“Should I have said please?” Eli smiled gently, and his thumb still drifted over her lips. He’d missed touching her so much. He’d even missed her quarrelsome tone and commanding manner.
Ray raised a shaking hand to her forehead. “That’s never happened before.” And then, with suspicion: “You’re sure I fainted?”
“I sure as hell didn’t knock you out, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
She closed her eyes, but said, “Right. As if you could.”
Eli sat on the side of the bed. He took Ray’s hand, stroked her slender fingers. The dog came bounding past him, and with one less than agile leap, landed square on Ray’s chest, making her grunt.
She smiled the sweetest smile Eli had ever seen her bestow, and said to the dog, “Hello, Precious. Were you worried about me?”
Eli shook his head. “Worried?” Then the name she’d used registered and he laughed in disbelief. “Precious ?”
Ray continued to smile. “That’s right. He’s a very sweet dog. And he’s always trying to protect me.”
So, she allowed her dog that privilege, but no one else? “He attacked my backside. What did he think I was going to do? Sit on you?”
Ray glared at Eli. “You didn’t scare him, did you?”
“No, I didn’t scare him. I’m the one with teeth marks in my ass. And there is absolutely nothing precious about that damned mutt.”
“I told you a long time ago that Precious didn’t like men.”
“Yeah, well, I think Precious and I understand each other well enough now.” His gaze went to the dog, and it immediately laid its ears back and whined, then gave a tentative, lopsided doggy grin, complete with lots of tongue and drool. Satisfied, Eli scratched Precious behind his furry ears. “As to my injury, I think I’ll survive.”
Ray pushed up to her elbows. “I’m sorry.”
Eli had the feeling she didn’t say that too often, and that she was talking about quite a bit more than just the dog. He traced the dark shadows beneath her left eye with his fingertip. “What’s going on, Ray? Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”
Hugging the dog, Ray avoided looking at him. “I hadn’t heard from you . . .”
“You ran off.”
“I know. I had to. But . . . you were so obstinate about things, I sort of expected you to try to follow me. When you didn’t, and then I found out I was pregnant, I just wasn’t sure what to do.” She looked up suddenly. “I would have told you, though. Eventually.”
She’d said a lot, and he needed time to wade through all the misconceptions and insecurities without making matters worse. He considered his next words carefully. “You should call the doctor and tell him you fainted. Maybe you need vitamins or something.”
Ray gave him a wry grimace. “I’m already taking tons of vitamins. Believe me, I don’t need any more. And besides, he’ll probably tell me the same things he always tells me.”
“And what’s that?”
“Every woman reacts differently to pregnancy and every stupid thing that happens is normal. Bear with it and eventually it will go away.” She made a disgusted face. “After I give birth, is what he means.”
Eli couldn’t hide his small smile. “Has it been so horrible, honey?”
“You’re damn right, it has. I stay sick all the time, and I’m tired and my boobs hurt and my ankles are swollen and—” She stopped suddenly, her lips compressed as if she’d only then realized how she complained.
He wanted to hold her, to tell her to cry if she needed to. He started to tell her he loved her and would take care of her. But he knew such a sentiment would be abhorrent for Ray, so he quickly changed the subject.
“My grandfather was ill with pneumonia when I got home. It was pretty serious for a while there. I couldn’t leave him, but I had people searching for you. The damned agency wouldn’t give me a single hint about your location so I had to search every small town in Illinois.”
“The agency protects me by keeping things private.”
“I understand that. But it wasn’t easy. I should have known you’d live in the most inconspicuous place imaginable. I’m not even sure it’s on the map.”
“You were really looking for me?”
She sounded uncertain, keeping him off guard. “Isn’t that what I just said?” He squeezed her hand. “Lady, I about went nuts when I couldn’t find you right away. I went from swearing I was going to make love to you all night, to wanting to lock you in a windowless room so you’d never get away from me again. I may as well tell you, it’s still a toss-up.”
Ray didn’t take that threat seriously. “How’s your grandfather now?”
“Anxious for me to bring you home so he can meet the woman who’s had me so distracted. It’s not something he’s used to. There was so damned much to do, tending him, breaking off the business arrangement with Jane, making certain Jeremy was settled. And all I could think about was you.”
Ray affected a look of casual interest, though Eli saw through the ruse easily enough. “How did Jane take the news?”
“She still thinks our families should unite.” He smiled. “I thought about siccing her on Jeremy, since he’s been behaving like such an ass. Would serve them both right.”
Ray licked her lips. “You may have jumped the gun here.” She didn’t meet his gaze, choosing instead to stare at her hands while she petted the dog. “I’m still not interested in a relationship.”
It was in Ray’s nature to put up one last grandstand. Eli didn’t begrudge her the effort, but he had her and he wasn’t letting her go. He already knew it, and he imagined Ray did, too.
Matt came back in with a tray. “I brought the tea and the soup. Usually once she eats a bit, it settles her stomach. I think working in that stupid restaurant is what really nauseates her. But she won’t listen to me.”
“I finished that job today, so quit harping.”
“I was thinking about your work,” Eli told her, while moving the dog from her lap. He ignored her incredulous expression when all Precious did was wag his stubby tail in seeming joy, then plop down across Eli’s feet.
After Ray scooted up to sit against the headboard, he placed the tray across her legs. “Why don’t you teach self-defense or something? You’d be really good at it.”
Matt chuckled. “She tried that once.”
“Being my brother won’t save you, Matt.”
Matt just winked at her. “She even worked for the cops. But they kept sending her women to train and the women kept running off in tears. Ray here isn’t all that good at tempering her strength or showing any sympathy with broken nails or messed up hair.”
Imagining the whole scenario, Eli grinned. “Prissy women, huh?”
“Regular women,” Matt claimed, “and not up to Ray’s intensity.” He leaned toward Eli in a conspiratorial way. “She had them all whining and crying within minutes.”
“I can see where that might make things difficult.”
Ray’s expression had gone from embarrassed to annoyed to chagrined. “Why are we congregated in my bedroom? I’m feeling fine now. Let’s go downstairs to eat.”
/> Eli and Matt said, “No,” at the same time.
“Not until we’re certain you won’t faint again.” Eli handed her a spoon and sat back to wait while she ate her soup.
“I won’t faint.”
Gently, Eli told her, “I’m not sure that’s a promise you can keep, honey.”
Ray gave an exasperated sigh at his insistence, then relented. Eli thought she must surely be exhausted to keep giving up so easily.
He waited until she had a spoonful of soup in her mouth, then said, “I have a suggestion. One for you both to consider.”
Matt looked interested, but said nothing. Ray tried to ignore him.
“Come to my ranch with me. Ray can get plenty of fresh air and some much needed rest, and you can both get to know my family. They’re dying to meet you.”
Ray promptly choked.
Chapter Twelve
Very casually, Eli leaned forward to pat Ray on the back. He pretended not to understand the source of her distress. “Don’t gulp your soup, Ray.” Then he settled back in his chair and continued. “My grandfather is back home now, and my grandmother and Jeremy, of course. You won’t find a place more conducive to rest, and the weather is beautiful this time of year. You could—”
“No.”
Eli gave her a level look. “Why not?”
“Because . . . because . . .” She looked at her brother in near desperation. “Matt and I both have jobs. We can’t just take off whenever we please.”
Quietly, Eli contemplated the problem before giving his attention to Matt. “You’re going to college soon?”
“This fall.”
He nodded. “The men who work for me make good wages. It isn’t easy work, but if you’re interested, I can always use another hand. You can put in as many or as few hours as you like. It would be up to you.”
Matt flicked a glance at Ray. Again, Eli noted the strong family resemblance between them. They shared the same dark eyes and hair, the same high cheekbones and stubborn chin. But where Ray seemed intensely purposeful most of the time, Matt had a natural geniality about him. Eli imagined Ray had done much to see that Matt maintained that carefree attitude—at her own expense.
Ray put her spoon on her tray. “It doesn’t matter if Matt agrees. I still have a job to think about.”
Eli hated pushing her when she wasn’t up to snuff, but this was too important. “You also have a baby to consider. Look at yourself, Ray. You’re exhausted and as pale as your sheets. You need to take care of yourself right now.”
“I’ve always done just that, Eli. On my own. And without your help.”
“Agreed. But now you have my baby—our baby—to think of, too.” He stood next to the bed and looked down at her. “So you’ll have my help, whether you want it or not.”
“Is that so?”
He leaned down, caging her in with his arms. “I’m not going away, Ray. I don’t know what it’s going to take to convince you, but whatever it is, I’ll find it.”
Ray tightened her mouth mutinously. Then she suddenly blurted, “Your brother doesn’t like me.”
Incredulous, Eli straightened. “For God’s sake, he doesn’t even know you. I can’t believe you’d be offended by anything he said when you knew what he’d just been through. He sure as hell wasn’t himself, and your introduction wasn’t under the best of circumstances.” Eli shook his head. “I want you to marry me, Ray.”
Her eyes looked ready to fall out of her head. “Marry you?” The words were little more than a horrified whisper. “But . . . why?”
Eli’s thoughts scrambled for credible arguments. “I can help with Matt’s college bills.”
The color returned to her face in a rush. “We pay our own bills.”
“Don’t sound so damned offended. As my wife, you and your family would become my concern, so they’d be my bills, too. Matt would have a good job in the summer, and attend college the rest of the time.”
“I can take care of Matt on my own.”
Matt made a rude sound. “You two make me sound like an infant who needs to be taken care of.”
“Speaking of infants, you are having my baby.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Yeah, at this point, marriage isn’t going to change anything.”
Exasperated, Eli snapped, “I care about you, damn it.”
There were three beats of silence before Ray replied. “You never said so before.”
“Hell, Ray, you kept telling me to get lost. I wasn’t sure you’d want to hear it.”
Matt cleared his throat. “I wouldn’t mind going with Eli. You’re not the only one who likes to use his hands, you know. I do, too. What he’s offering sounds better than working at the mall, which is about the only summer job I could get. And you did say you finished your carpentry job today . . .” At the expression she aimed his way, he rushed to add, “But naturally, it’s up to you.”
Ray sighed.
“I have to go out for a while,” Matt said with sudden decisiveness. “Don’t, ah, expect me until late. Okay?” He picked up the dog and started out the door.
“We’ll leave early in the morning,” Eli called after him. “I’d give you more time, but I need to get back for my grandfather.”
Matt nodded.
Scowling, Ray said, “Matt, wait. Nothing’s been decided . . .”
He was already gone, the door closed softly behind him. Eli blew out a deep breath. One down, one to go.
The love Ray felt for her brother, the protectiveness, was plain to see, and Eli decided to use that to his advantage. “You should consider Matt before making a decision, Ray. Don’t you think he’ll feel better knowing you’re well taken care of? I saw how he dotes on you. He’s worried.”
“I know.” Ray tilted her head back in frustration, then viciously punched the mattress next to her hip. That didn’t appease her and she hit it again, then twice more.
“Feel better?”
“No,” she snarled.
Knowing victory was imminent, Eli hid his satisfaction and reseated himself beside her. He removed the tray before she spilled it and took her hands in his, rubbing her knuckles until she relaxed, loosening her fists, then he kissed each palm.
It was time to get serious, and to do some apologizing. “What happened in the hotel . . . it was my fault. I should have thought of protection, but it never occurred to me. And that’s strange because I’ve always been careful.”
She shrugged. “Me, too. And it wasn’t all your fault. I remember being there, Eli, a willing participant.”
Always honest. She pleased him so damn much. “Very willing. But that doesn’t excuse me. At the time, all I could think of was showing you how much I cared.” He touched her cheek. “I really do, you know.”
Ray shied away from his declaration. “Here I thought maybe it was the comfort of a real bed.”
“With you, I’m finding time and place doesn’t matter. In the jungle, that ratty little hut out in the middle of nowhere, it all seemed . . . I don’t know. Surreal.” He would have said magical, beautiful, incredible—but he didn’t want to push her more than he already had. “At the hotel, I already knew you were planning to skip out on me. I felt it.”
Ray looked uncomfortable at that. “You’re too damned astute.” And she grumbled, “I’m sorry.”
He acknowledged that with a nod. “I’d like to make love to you in my bed, without worrying about bats or guerillas. I’d like to love you knowing you’ll still be there in the morning, that you don’t want to leave.”
Her bottom lip started to quiver, totally unmanning him. “Ray.” He scooted closer to her on the bed, pulled her into his side. “Honey, I know it’s a little late to be asking you this, but how do you feel about having the baby?”
Her throat worked as she swallowed. She shook her head.
He frowned over her distressed expression. “I don’t know what that means, babe. Talk to me.”
She looked up at him. “What do I know about having babies or bein
g a parent? I scare grown men, Eli. Matt wasn’t joking about those women running off in tears just because I tried to instruct them. Can you imagine what I’d do to a kid?”
Eli felt caught between a laugh and suffocating tenderness. He pulled Ray into a hug, rocking her. “Everything will be all right, Ray. Trust me.”
“You don’t understand.” Her voice was shaky and self-derisive. “Look at me, Eli. I’m a thirty-one-year-old part-time mercenary and carpenter. What a joke.”
“You’re a beautiful, sensitive woman.”
Her laugh was raw, heartbreaking. “I don’t have anything to teach a kid except how to protect himself and how to survive, and given a choice, I don’t want any kid to have to worry about stuff like that.”
Eli squeezed her tighter. “Those are important things to learn. But you’re wrong when you say that’s all you know.” He caught her chin and brought her face up to his. “You know honesty and honor, pride, integrity, and the value of hard work. You, Ray Vereker, are going to be an excellent mother.”
Ray blinked at him before laughing. “Did you fall off another planet, Eli? Because you sure as hell don’t have your feet planted firmly in this one. And you don’t talk like a rich man, either. What’s all this about hard work? I thought your type disdained that sort of thing.”
“One of these days, you’re going to really piss me off, Ray, do you know that?” Though he knew she resorted to insults to distance herself, it still bothered him. He stood to pace restlessly around the room, finally stopping before a high window. Keeping his back to Ray, he said, “There are a few things you don’t know about me. Since you’ll soon be my wife and the mother of my child, maybe it’s time you did.”
She scooted up higher in the bed. “I didn’t agree to the wife part, but I’m all ears.”
Eli turned to face her. “I’ll make this as short and uncomplicated as I can.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“I never knew my father, Ray.” She didn’t look shocked or judgmental, just curious. “He married my mother against my grandfather’s wishes, and they ran off together. My grandparents still loved him, but they’d argued and . . .he became estranged from the family.” Eli shoved his hands into his pockets and starting pacing again. He hated rehashing old news, and if Ray hadn’t persisted in trying to make him out as some wealthy snob, he might not have told her. At least, not yet. “My mother hadn’t counted on that because, just as my grandfather predicted, she’d married him for his money, not out of love. It didn’t take my father long to realize my grandfather was right. She was . . . immoral, to say the least.”