by Lori Foster
“How so?”
Eli shook his head and stared beyond her. “They divorced and my father went home, before my mother told him about me.”
She straightened in the bed. “Eli, I swear, I would have told you—”
He smiled to reassure her. “You’re nothing like her, Ray, I know that. You would never use a baby. But I can remember my mother laughing about it, saying she’d duped him and that soon she’d cash in. She said I’d take my rightful place in the family and there wasn’t anything they could do about it. She made no bones about the fact that I’d be a pawn. Hell, she loved it.”
“That’s awful.” She placed her hands protectively over her belly, and it pleased him. “So did she finally introduce you to your family?”
“I don’t think she quite had the nerve. Whenever she drank she’d make plans, but when she sobered up, she wouldn’t mention it.”
“She was an alcoholic?”
Inside his pockets, where it wouldn’t show, Eli’s hands curled into fists. “She wasn’t really a drunk so much as a partier. I can remember one man after another trooping through. We lived with some of them, sometimes we lived in trailers, and once at a women’s shelter.”
“But Jeremy . . . ?”
“Is my half brother. My father remarried and they had Jeremy and were very happy together, from what I’ve been told. They died in a car wreck before I could ever meet them.”
“Then you must have introduced yourself to your grandparents on your own.” She gave Eli a look of admiration. “That had to be tough.”
He laughed with self-derision. “It wasn’t like that, honey. When I contacted them, it was with the intent of using them, just as my mother had always planned. You see, she’d long since washed her hands of me. She disappeared completely when I was seventeen. I just . . . I came home one day and she was gone. Not that I should have been surprised. She told me she’d leave if I didn’t stay out of trouble.”
Softly, Ray asked, “And you didn’t?”
“Hell, no. If anything, it seemed I got worse, until finally I was arrested for hurting a guy during a brawl. I spent two days in county jail because I didn’t have anyone to call or any way to make bail.” His eyes searched her face, looking for some sign of what she thought, how she took his news.
“Why’d you hurt him?”
“Who?”
“The guy in the brawl.”
“Oh.” Eli didn’t know why it mattered to her, but he said, “He was drunk and a bully and he was picking on this skinny little guy—”
Ray grinned. “I see. So you called your grandfather?”
“Not exactly. I’d been in trouble before with juvenile authorities, mostly just pranks, but I knew this time it would probably be bad. I decided I had nothing to lose, so I tried looking up my father.”
Ray leaned forward on the bed, curling her legs beneath her and listening intently to Eli. “What happened?”
“My grandfather showed up instead. And let me tell you something about Granddad, no one uses him.” Eli relaxed with that memory, smiling with genuine affection. “He took one look at me, saw a family resemblance, and claimed me as a Connors.”
Ray nodded. “Smart man.”
“So damn smart, it’s scary. His bones are weaker now, but his mind is still razor sharp.” He settled his most somber gaze on Ray. “You think my grandfather must be a snob because he’s wealthy. But he went through the Depression a poor man. Everything he has, he earned the old-fashioned way—by nearly working himself into the grave. He’s a self-made man and even though his attitudes tend to be hard in some ways, he’s always fair.”
“Was he hard on you?”
Grinning, Eli said, “He was a mean son of a bitch at first, but then so was I, and we fought all the time. He didn’t put up with anything. Before I knew it I was sitting at a table for three meals a day, because Granddad said my grandmother expected it and he wouldn’t let me disappoint her. When I wasn’t in school, he had me working by his side at the ranch until I was so exhausted, I didn’t have the energy to get into trouble. He also bought me my first horse, and my first car.”
“Something fancy?”
He laughed. “A beat-up trap that we had to work on together. But by the time we finished, it looked and ran great. It got me through college, and when I graduated with honors, just to prove to him that I could, he told me how proud he was of me. I’d never heard that kind of praise in my whole life. The next year, after I’d trained in the business, he gave me responsibility and trust.” Eli’s jaw flexed as he remembered the swell of emotions he’d suffered that day. “He gave me his business to run.”
Ray nodded. “I think I like your grandfather already.”
Her comment helped him to shake off the memories. “He said the same thing about you when I told him about the piranha.”
“You didn’t,” she protested. But she was laughing.
“It’s been tough on Jeremy. He lost his parents when he was little more than a baby and then I showed up and stole half his grandparents’ attention. I hope you’ll give him some time.”
“To do what?”
“To get to know you like I do.”
“You don’t really know me.” As if admitting a grave sin, she said, “I screw up sometimes. I make big mistakes and I fail at things.”
He shrugged. “You’re human. It happens.” Ray frowned in thought. “What?” He bent to capture her gaze. “Come on, Ray. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“Why me? That’s what I can’t understand, Eli. Despite everything you just said, you know good and well it won’t be easy between us, especially on me. I won’t fit comfortably into your life, so why don’t you look somewhere else for a wife?”
Eli sat beside her on the bed. “I’m thirty-three years old, I haven’t been a monk, but I’ve never met a woman I enjoyed as much as you. You make me proud, Ray, with all you’ve accomplished and all you can do. Not many people, man or woman, can claim your talents. You also make me laugh and you sure as hell make me hot. I like talking to you, holding you, and the sex is phenomenal.” He stopped to smile. “Far as I can tell, your biggest complaint about me is my money.”
She was still frowning over his straightforward compliments, but said, “Not just money, Eli. You’re rich.”
“Yeah. But you know, a wise woman once told me there was a big difference between people born with money and those that acquired it on their own. My father and Jeremy are the only Connors men able to take wealth for granted. And as for me, well, I think I fall somewhere in the middle.”
“You’ve been rich a long time.”
“I wasn’t born that way. And though a lot of it was given to me, I’ve made quite a bit since starting to work with my grandfather all those years ago. I didn’t have to create the opportunity, but I’ve definitely taken advantage of it. And I work damned hard to make everything run smoothly, for myself, for my grandparents, and for Jeremy. If that makes me a bad person, Ray, then so be it. But it doesn’t change how I feel about you. And if you’re honest, you’ll admit you care about me, too.”
She lowered her head. “I used to think about marriage. Even about babies.”
Eli’s heart beat faster. “Yeah?”
“A long time ago, when I was a different person. Young and stupid.”
“You were never dumb, Ray.”
She drew a careful breath. “When I was a kid, when my folks were still alive, I had all the same silly dreams most girls have. Then things changed, and I found out I’m different.”
“Wonderfully different.”
She didn’t look up. “I had a partner once. I was crazy about him. I’d have died for him. But . . .” She shook her head. “I let him down.”
The words sliced into Eli. “No, Ray. You did the best you could, and if things didn’t work out, then no one was to blame.”
She didn’t realize he knew the story. She thought he was just speaking in generalities. Her gaze met his, somber and distant and
so damn sad. “Don’t you see, Eli. I disappointed a man who was so much like me, a man who knew what to expect from me. I tried, but I couldn’t . . .” She bit her lips hard before continuing. “With you it’d be even harder. The things you’d need from me, I can’t give, and I’d end up disappointing you, too.”
Rage burned in his gut. “Just what the hell do you think I’ll want you to do?”
“Dinner parties? Society events? I don’t even know, because I don’t know your world. I used to think I did, but now I’m not so sure.”
Eli came to his feet. “I never thought I’d say this, but you’re being a coward.”
Her mouth tightened.
“You refuse to even try because you’re afraid of failing. Come to the ranch with me, see what it’s like, then decide. Who knows, maybe I’ll surprise you. If you don’t want to stay, we’ll work something else out. But that’s not too much to ask, not of you, not of a mercenary who faces down armed guerillas, and not from the woman who’s carrying my baby.”
Eli held his breath, waiting to see what she would say. Regardless, he wouldn’t give up on her. He couldn’t. He’d never wanted anything as badly as he wanted Ray Vereker and the baby she carried.
She sighed. “I’m feeling better. And I’m starved. You want to go downstairs with me and have some soup? This bowl’s gotten cold already. Matt makes great soup.”
Lunch wasn’t really the first thing on his mind. “You’ll come to the ranch with me?”
She was already leaving the bed, her face not quite so pale now. “I’ll go—for a while. And then we’ll see. I’m not making any promises about marriage, though.”
Eli was content with the bargain. Small steps, he told himself. Ray’s life had been very unique and trying. He couldn’t expect to change everything, certainly not her insecurities, overnight. “We’ll leave tomorrow. First thing.”
“Maybe. I have to make some arrangements first.”
Her back was to him as he followed her out the door, so she couldn’t see his wide grin of triumph. He even picked up her dog on his way down the steps, rubbing the shaggy little rat behind his furry ears. Precious growled deliriously, appreciating his touch but apparently not willing to let Eli know it.
He thought the dog and Ray shared some definite similarities.
“Soup sounds great.”
Ray glanced over her shoulder at him, her eyes questioning.
“But after lunch, I intend to strip you naked, shower with you, then put you back to bed.”
Ray shivered. “You know, I think I feel another faint coming on.”
Eli chuckled as he slipped his arm around her waist. “Don’t worry. I promise I’ll revive you so you don’t miss a thing.” Then he kissed her brow. “Trust me.”
Ray groaned as Eli pressed small, gentle kisses onto her belly. “I can hardly believe you’re pregnant.” He covered her with his hand, his fingertips touching her hipbones. “You’re still so slim.”
Ray arched into his palm. “I’ll be fat as a cow soon enough.”
Eli lifted his head to smile at her. “The idea of you all round and womanly with my baby makes me hot.”
“That’s no test. Everything makes you hot.” She started to laugh, then groaned instead as Eli very gently and very slowly slid his finger deep inside her. He was being especially careful with her and it drove Ray nuts. “I’m not in a good frame of mine, Eli. You shouldn’t play with me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Ray.”
She curled her hand around his head, her fingers tangling in his soft brown hair. “You would never hurt me.”
His gaze shot to hers, smoldering hot. “You believe that now?”
She nodded. He would never deliberately hurt her, but that didn’t mean he could control the future, or shield her from the rest of his family. Regardless of what he said, Ray still couldn’t imagine any family, rich or poor, taking her in stride. Even the people who didn’t know her well—her neighbors, teachers at her brother’s school—gave her a wide berth and watched her with the same caution they’d give a wild animal.
She used to do her best to fit in; now she just got by and took what pleasure in her life that she could. Eli was pleasure personified—so should she take him at his word?
Eli forced her mind from that train of thought when he nuzzled against her breast. She gasped, and he asked quietly, with great interest, “Are you tender already?”
He hadn’t stopped touching her to ask that question, hadn’t slowed the gentle, rhythmic thrusting of his finger, so Ray was only able to nod. But Eli was satisfied with her answer. He suckled her with gentle care, drawing her nipple deep into the heat of his mouth and very lightly stroking her with his tongue.
It was an exquisite torture, and her tolerance was excessively low these days. Ray decided she’d had enough. With little effort, taking Eli by surprise, she switched their positions. She might be pregnant, but she was no slacker.
Eli found himself flat on his back. Ray straddled his upper thighs, captured his hot, hard erection in her hands, and grinned wickedly as she felt him flex in excitement. “Let’s see how you like being tormented, Eli.”
“I wasn’t tormenting you,” he started to object, but ended by groaning loudly. Ray stroked him, smoothed her fingers over the tip of him, and then leaned forward to kiss his hard, hair-roughened belly, much as he had done to her.
“There’s something you need to understand right now, Eli Connors. You’re not always going to be in charge in the sack.” She made that statement between careful nibbles on his hip, her fingers wrapped firmly around his pulsing cock, stroking, enticing. He strained against her. “I’ve let you have your way most of the time, but right now I’m not feeling so generous.”
Eli caught her shoulders and pulled her higher so that she was poised just above him, her thighs open and vulnerable over his pelvis, her breasts within reach of his mouth. He raised his hips and slowly began to enter her.
“Honey, you can be in charge whenever you want,” he rasped, holding her tightly.
Ray almost laughed, since Eli was again taking over. But as he filled her, lifting his head at the same time to cautiously capture a tender nipple, she decided she didn’t mind at all.
Ray braced her hands on his tense shoulders, tightened her thighs on his hips, then thrust herself down, taking his length completely. The pregnancy had made her more sensitive and she yelled with the pleasure of it.
Eli’s fingers dug into her soft buttocks as he held her steady for his accelerated thrusts. And Ray, smiling in satisfaction, let him have his way.
“I hope Matt doesn’t get lost.” She would have preferred for them all to leave together, but that hadn’t been possible, not with Eli rushing, and Matt insistent on telling his friends good-bye.
“I gave him detailed instructions, Ray. He seems like a real levelheaded kid, so have a little faith, will you? He and Precious will make it in one piece.”
“How much farther do we have to go?” It already seemed like they’d been on the road forever.
Eli shrugged. “A couple of hours. Why? Do you need another break?”
“No, but I can’t blame you for asking. Being pregnant has done strange things to me. I swear I have a bladder the size of a titmouse.”
Eli laughed as he reached over and squeezed her knee. “I don’t mind stopping, honey, as long as you don’t overdo. You’re finally starting to look like yourself again. I don’t mind telling you now, I almost suffered shock when I saw you at that restaurant.”
“Most people have to work, Eli.”
“Don’t get defensive. That isn’t what I meant at all. It’s just that I’m used to seeing you carry a weapon, not a tool belt that probably weighs more than you do.”
She punched him in the arm, earning a grin.
“And then your brother goes and tells me I’m to be a father.” He shook his head. “It’s a damned good thing I have a strong constitution, or you two would have been picking me up off the
floor. Mortal men can only take so much.”
It seemed to Ray that Eli had accepted the pregnancy much easier than she had. Of course, he wasn’t the one suffering the side effects. “You’re okay with the whole thing?”
His voice softened. “Are you kidding? I’m thrilled. I’ve already been imagining what he’ll look like.”
“He?” And just to be contrary, she asked, “What if it’s a girl?”
“Then I hope she looks exactly like her mother.”
If she had her way, her baby wouldn’t have a single similarity to her. She wanted this child to be happy—she just didn’t know if it was possible, not with her as the mother. “Does your family know you’re bringing me back?”
“They knew that was my intention. My grandfather wished me luck.”
Be careful what you wish for. “And Jeremy?”
“Try to be understanding with him, Ray. He’s always had to be my little brother. There’s a fourteen-year difference in our ages. When I showed up, Jeremy was only four years old and very used to being the center of everyone’s attention. Even though Jeremy’s always treated me exactly like a brother, I think it bothers him that I’m only his half brother, and yet everything that should have been rightfully his by birth has been handed to me. Until Jeremy finishes college, he’s dependent on me and the company.”
Ray scowled. “Nothing was handed to you. You worked hard for what you have. The fact that your father didn’t marry your mother shouldn’t have anything to do with it.”
Eli laughed. “You don’t have to defend me, honey. No one treats me like an outsider, least of all Jeremy. But it can’t be easy for him being so much younger. He’s forever trying to prove himself.”