by A. J. Wells
I’d wanted to go the Burger Barn for a quiet burger then back to let the dogs out and home to bed. It’s been a hectic day and I suspect Monday will be just as bad, if not worse. I’m feeling tired and cranky and don’t want to go to Miss Lili’s. Steve notices I’m standoffish and asks why. I tell him the truth. He understands, but asks me to indulge Lili this time. He’ll try to run interference in the future. He says Miss Lili wants to talk to us about the reservations and delivering the flyers tomorrow to the other towns.
I tell him I’m too tired to be of any help tonight. He understands and will “take notes” so he can fill me in later. We corral the dogs and go to supper. Supper’s very good, but Miss Lili is wearing me out talking about all the work that’s left to do. She wants Maria and I should go with the “boys” tomorrow to hand out the flyers. Maria and I make excuses so we don’t have to go. The guys are a little confused as to why we can’t, or won’t, go with them. Shay finally complains he’s tired and Maria goes home, Bob follows soon after. I tell Miss Lili I have to get back to the office to check things out. The office was so busy today I forgot to do some things.
Steve takes me back to the office. “You look frazzled. What’d ya forget? I’ll help ya.”
Now I have to find something to do to keep from being a liar. “I need to take inventory of the supplies. I haven’t been able to order anything the last two weeks, because of the storm and the carnival. I realize the carnival is partially Maria’s and my idea, but Miss Lili has blown it all outta proportion. I understand how it happened, but now the office is ‘carnival central’ as well as a clinic.” That wasn’t nice of me, so I change my tone, “I’m tired and cranky from lack of sleep, so don’t pay any attention to me. As for tomorrow, I have the dogs to let out; laundry that hasn’t been done for two weeks; a house that needs to be cleaned and a horse I haven’t ridden. I need to take care of things at home, as well as here. You understand, don’t ya?”
He nods, “But I could help with those things and you could still go with me tomorrow. I want to spend some time with ya without a lot of distractions.”
“And what happens if I fall asleep. Steve, I really haven’t had a minute to myself for two weeks. I love spending time with ya, but I have a lot I still have to do for the clinic and so I can wear clean clothes next week. Don’t be upset. Why don’t ya come out for supper, I’ll ask Maria or someone to put the dogs out tomorrow night. Maybe we can go riding, if I can get things done so I have time.”
Steve comes to hug me and, quickly, kisses me. “Let’s get the office taken care of so you have more time tomorrow and maybe you should sleep in. I’ll let the dogs out tomorrow morning then you can let them out at noon and, maybe, Maria can let them out tomorrow night. Or we could come in to let them out then go back to your place. Whatever needs to be done, I’ll help.”
“That sounds great.” I kiss him, quickly, hand him a pencil and the inventory list and tell him to follow me. I count, he writes it down. We let the dogs out, and clean the kennel room. Then we look at the receipts and the checks and organize them to be put on the books, at home, Sunday. Steve sees I’m behind in my work and apologizes for his grandmother.
“I thought she was helping, freeing up time for ya to do some of these things. I guess she was taking more time than she was giving.” Steve’s concerned he’ll have to tell Lili she needs to stay away from the office more.
“She was helping, but after the accident and the storm, things have gotten behind. My attention has been everywhere but on the administration of the office. I’ve been trying to keep up with the newsletter, the things H.P. needs, Miss Lili, you and me, and still take care of the dogs and appointments. That’s a lot for Maria and me to keep up with.” We walk out back to check on the dogs.
“I was afraid Grams would take things too far. She’s a dear, but, sometimes, she needs to be hog tied. Unfortunately, she drags those she cares about and who care about her, into the middle of a whirlpool and things get hard to keep up with, mostly Grams. But she wants so much to help those who’re having problems that she doesn’t consider those who’re helping her.” He hugs and kisses me and as tired as I am, I can’t help responding. He didn’t bring Chief this time.
The kiss progresses and his hands are moving over me. He’s doing things that’re taking me into areas I’ve never been before. His hand, under my shirt, comes up my back and he gently squeezes the muscles there. His hands are warm causing a relaxation of the muscles, allowing the sensations they’re giving to spread the lightening storm in my stomach to much lower. The kiss becomes frantic, making it hard to breathe. He strokes my back firmly ‘til I can’t breathe at all and the lightening in my abdomen is beginning to flame. He brings his hands around to my breasts sending shocks through me. I’m holding on tightly, feeling like I’m going to fall from the alternating waves of lightening and shocks. He moves his head down to nuzzle my breasts and slips his hands inside the back of my jeans to pull me tighter to him.
I can feel his excitement in his hands, his kisses, in his shaking, and tight muscles. He brings his head and hands up and groans. He whispers my name into my neck and steps away from me so fast I sway, unbalanced. He walks away from me and I’m left to catch my balance and breath, and wonder what happened. He keeps his back to me and I stand there settling back to earth and not liking it. After a few minutes, forever, or so it seems, he turns and comes back to me. “Sher, I’m sorry, I got outta hand. I don’t want to take advantage of ya while you’re tired. Let’s get the dogs in and you go home and get some sleep.”
“Steve, it’s okay. I let it get outta hand, too. I’ve never felt anything like that before and it just, sorta, took over. I’m sorry, too.” He looks at me, comes over to hug me, but doesn’t kiss me again.
“Looks like the dogs went in without us.” I look around and he’s right, we’re the only ones left in the yard. I laugh, he chuckles and we go in to shut the kennels. We close and lock everything up and Steve walks me to my truck. “If I’m going to let the dogs out in the morning, I’ll need a key.” I give him a key and he gives me a long, restrained, goodnight kiss. He walks, quickly, to his truck and we both leave.
I go home, shower, turn the alarm off and get in bed. I lay there trying to figure out if I’d done something wrong. I fall asleep before I have an answer.
After I leave Sher, I drive out to the falls, parking below the bluff. I need some time to…I don’t know what I need to do. She felt so good. Her cool skin under my hands was almost too much for me to give up. I’ve never experienced anything so…intense. I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop next time. She was tired tonight and vulnerable, I could’ve continued, but she might regret it later. I wouldn’t be able to face her regret and not be sorry I’d let it go that far. We need more time. But she’s so responsive and I want her, too much. I was kidding when I made the crack about “burning up the sheets,” but after tonight, I’m not so sure we wouldn’t. I hope she’s not playing games with me.
The knock on the window next to my head, makes me jump, I hadn’t heard anyone come up. I look and it’s Bob. I roll the window down and he wants to know where my head is. I tell him, Sher. “Wanna talk? I got girl troubles, too.” He goes around to the passenger side and gets in.
“What’s the problem with Maria? I thought you were crazy about her.” I’m not ready to talk about my problems.
“I am, but I’m not sure she’s as crazy about me. We get to a point of takin’ it one step further and Maria backs off. I don’t understand. I know she has a past and we talked about it. She says she knows I’m not like her ex, she can tell from the way I treat people. But she has some kinda wall tellin’ her she can’t trust herself and her instincts. I don’t get it.”
“Women have a way of sayin’ things that don’t make sense to us, but then they have the same problem with us, I’m told. Sher said Maria was in the hospital for a week after the beatin’ her husband gave her for gettin’ pregnant. That’s a bad beatin’ and not
easily forgotten for someone as gentle as Maria. Sher didn’t say anything about broken bones or anything like that, but she did say Maria was confined to bed rest for a long time after she got outta the hospital. That’s a lotta time to think and a lot to handle alone. She had to testify against her husband then divorce him. She had to listen to him curse her for gettin’ pregnant and makin’ him beat her. She had to have some mental issues come into play to shield herself from all that. If you care about her, she’ll come around. Just be patient and give her and you time for her to do that. I suspect you won’t be sorry ya did.”
“Good advice. I’ll try to remember it when I feel like Gibraltar is sitting on my gut and shoulders. I’d like to get my hands on her ex. He needs to be torn apart and buried in a dozen different places. How about you and your ‘Gibraltar’?”
“I’m havin’ trouble keepin’ things low key. Every time I kiss her, it’s like we’re swallowed up. It’s that powerful, but I don’t want to push things when I’m afraid she’ll regret it later. She responds, but it’s too soon for her and she’s told me so. And I don’t wanna push her so she reluctant to give us a chance. The next step may not be mine. Ya know?”
“Yeah. It’s tough when women have pasts that cause them not to trust. The next man has to work twice a hard to prove they’re trustworthy. I think that’s our problem. We’re already in love with ‘em, but they aren’t able to love as easily. Do ya love Sher?”
“Love? Hadn’t thought about it. I know I want her every time I see her and I can’t stop it. But she’s conditioned to men that are only after sex, so I have to keep my hands to myself, when I can, ‘til she responds to me, not lust. What about you?”
“I have the same problem, but I think I’m in love with Maria. I must be, she frustrates me so much and not just sexually. I want her to see me for me and not like she sees the other guys. I want to marry her and not just to have sex with her, though that would be a great perk.” We chuckle.
“If y’all were having sex and Shay walked in, what would that do to him?”
“I hadn’t thought about it from his perspective. He might think I was gonna be his Daddy and then when I’m not there the next night he might think…a lotta things. It could mess up our friendship and when he got older he might think badly of Maria, too. That’s not something I want to happen, even if Maria and I don’t work out. I don’t want to do that to him, or her. I see what you mean, I’ve gotta back off, for all our sakes.” We sat quietly for a few minutes. “You need to talk some more?”
“No. I was just out here to take some time to talk myself into something. Didn’t have a clue what and still don’t. I’m ready to go home, how about you?”
“Yep. Thanks for the talk, see ya at home.” Bob gets out and goes to his truck on the other side of the tree. I can’t believe I didn’t hear him drive up. Sher must have me in more knots than I thought.
I start my truck and follow Bob home. I have to meet Sher at her place tomorrow. We’ll be alone. Can I control myself and her? Good question, but I don’t have an answer.
Maria calls at ten, waking me up. She’s got guy problems. We talk and finally I ask her to come over for supper, tonight, with Steve and me, and if Bob’s around, he can come, too. That should postpone any guy problems either one of us might have. We can enjoy the afternoon with them without having to fight ourselves. She’s all for it. We plan the menu for supper and hang up.
It’s eleven by the time we get off the phone so I get up to start my laundry and house cleaning. House cleaning doesn’t take long in basically one room. After dusting and vacuuming, I haul my laundry down to Mom’s. We talk while my laundry’s going.
I tell her about the dinner tonight and ask if we can take four of the horses out this afternoon. She says it should be okay, they haven’t been ridden today. I ask if she and Dad would like to come over, we’re barbecuing for supper. I’m getting steaks and hot dogs, Shay’s coming. They have dance classes tonight at seven, so supper will have to be finished by six thirty. She offers to let the dogs out since they’ll be in town. I thank her and in a panic I ask her if she’d mind watching my laundry. I forgot I have to let the dogs out and I have to go shopping for supper. She tells me to go, she’ll take care things.
I run home, grab my purse and keys and take off for town. I get to the office just as Maria’s coming out. “What are you doin’ here?” I ask. She came to let the dogs out since we’d talked so long and she knew I had things to do at home. I thank her and ask if the dogs are okay. They are, so I ask her to go shopping with me. We get all the supplies we’ll need for supper and I head home. Maria and Shay will be out in about an hour. I tell her we’d be going riding when the guys arrive. She hasn’t been riding in a long time, but she’ll love it and Shay will, too.
I get home and get the groceries in the house. Then run up to Mom’s to collect my laundry, making it home just as Steve arrives. While I’m putting my laundry away, we talk about the flyers and the towns he’d covered this morning. Chief is lying beside the arm chair where Steve’s sitting. He asks how the dogs are and I have to admit I’d forgotten them, but Maria let them out for me. I tell him about my trip into town. I remind him Chief is due for x-rays to determine if the ribs are healed.
Then I tell him I invited Maria, Shay and Bob out, if he’s around, to spend the afternoon and part of the evening with us. He’s okay with that and is visibly more at ease. I add Mom and Dad will be here for supper. Then they have dance class so they’re going to let the dogs out for me.
I finish putting my laundry away and we go out to the barn. Izzie is glad to see me after two weeks of no attention. She takes to Steve right away, as do all the horses. I don’t know if I’m glad or miffed. We hear Bob’s truck in the driveway so we go to meet it. Bob, Maria and Shay come in for a cold drink before we go riding.
We get the horses saddled and Shay insists on riding with Bob. Maria’ okay with it, thinking he’ll change his mind and ride with her. We ride down the creek so we’ll be close to water and in the shade. I have to admit the guys look good in cowboy hats. It’s obvious they’re experienced riders in the easy way they handle the horses. Shay’s never been on a horse outside of the barn and he’s so excited Bob has to hang on to him. Eventually, Bob talks with him and he settles down and rides like he was born on a horse. Maria asks Bob what he’d said to him when we stop to water the horses. Bob confesses he appealed to Shay’s cowboy side…with a little showing off included, meaning, riding like he’s been riding his whole life, confidently. Maria laughs and asks Shay if he wants to ride with her now. He declines, preferring to be a “cowboy.” Bob tells him, “A cowboy always takes care of his woman,” and Shay rides with Maria to protect her from…whatever’s in his imagination.
Steve and Bob kick they’re horses up, since the horses are acting antsy and gallop up to the top of the ridge. We take it slower and Shay’s disappointed, he wants to go faster. Bob hears him and comes back for him. We’re only a hundred yards from the ridge crest when Bob takes him and gallops up the hill. Shay’s laughing, hanging onto his hat and having a ball, totally fearless. But Maria’s anxious. We gallop along with Bob and Shay to the ridge. Maria hides her concern when we go galloping off the ridge to the pasture below. The cattle are at the water trough and Shay is in awe. He’s never been this close to cattle before. We get off to rest and water the horses.
“Mama, my butt hurts.” Shay announces, pulling at the seat of his jeans. Maria explains riding does that sometimes. He also announces he has to pee. Bob hears and says he’ll take care of it. The three guys mount and ride over to the stand of trees to take care of the problem. Maria and I stay with the cattle at the water trough. When they come back, Bob apologizes to Maria for Shay’s wet jeans. He didn’t realize Shay wasn’t standing for that “activity” yet. Maria laughs and says she brought a change of clothes, just in case. They’d put him on a tree stump so he wouldn’t wet his boots, but didn’t get his jeans clear. They had to put on a “sho
w and tell” for him to understand what he was supposed to do. We’re chuckling at the visual THAT brought to mind. I check the time and tell them we need to head back to start the grill. Mom and Dad have to eat by six, they have plans tonight. We ride home a little faster than we rode out, since Shay’s a veteran rider now.
We take care of the horses and are firing up the grill when Dad comes over to get the guys to help him bring the picnic table over. When they get back with the table, Maria starts setting it. Dad brings out the beer he’d bought for the occasion. We all have one while the grill’s heating up.
Steve asks what I’m going to do with the steaks when we go in to get them to put on the grill. Salt and pepper is what I always use. “You mind if Bob and I fix the steaks? We do a lotta cooking at the station and no one’s died yet.” I tell him to go ahead, next thing I know they’ve fixed the whole meal and the steaks are on the grill with Bob in command. Mom comes over to join us and has a beer with us. Supper’s ready at five thirty five. The steaks have some kinda rub on them and the rest of the food is great, too. The grilled baked potatoes are heavenly.
During supper the guys get to talking about the ranch. Steve and Dad discuss ideas about increasing revenue and other things. Mom interrupts them to say they have to go. Dad says he wants to talk to Steve some more about the ranch and they agree to talk again, later.
Shay stays close to Bob most of the afternoon. When Maria and I go in to clean up after supper, the guys help. Shay’s occupied watching TV. My little kitchen can’t hold all four of us without our bumping into each other, there’re a few hugs and when we finish, there’s kisses. Shay’s fallen asleep on the couch, tired from the heat and not getting a nap this afternoon. It’s still early, so Bob turns on the radio and we dance in my little dining room and kitchen so we don’t disturb Shay.
Chapter 6
Chief comes over to get our attention when Steve and I sit down, me on his lap. He wants out so we go out with him. He didn’t get to go on the ride with us, too much activity for him. While we’re out Steve puts his arm around my shoulders and it progresses to a hug, then a kiss. But it’s a gentle kiss and a quick one, little more that a peck. When I try for more of a kiss, he moves behind me and holds me. I can feel him shaking. “Are you okay? You’re shaking.” He’s fine he says, but he lets me go and goes looking for Chief. I’m left wondering what’s going on.