by A. J. Wells
He comes back with Chief and we go back inside to find Bob and Maria in a kiss that would melt the polar ice cap. They don’t stop when we come in, but as soon as Shay moves, Maria steps away. Maria says she needs to get Shay home, bathed and in bed. They prepare to leave and Steve does, too. I don’t understand, but I don’t say anything. We see them off and I turn to Steve, “What’s wrong? I thought you wanted to spend some time with me. Just us.”
“Sher, I have trouble keeping my hands off’a you and I want ya to trust me. So I have to go. I’ll see ya at the office Monday. Thanks for supper.” He hugs me and he’s shaking again. I don’t want to make a fool of myself so when he kisses me on the temple I step back. Chief licks my face through the open window, when I say ‘bye to him. Steve drives away and I go back in the house. I got more affection from Chief than I did Steve.
I try to fill the rest of the evening, but I’m having a tough time. I finally get in the truck and go into town for an ice cream cone. I run into a couple of friends, but we only speak in passing. I drive by Maria’s and find Bob’s not there. I stop to talk to her.
She says Bob didn’t stay long, either. We start talking about the guys and trying to figure out what’s going on. I tell her what Steve said about our being alone and trust. She says Bob said almost the same thing. Strange. Maybe, they’ve found someone they’re more interested in and all that was an excuse to leave. “But we had fun this afternoon and after supper. What’s the problem?”
I have to admit I’m at a loss, too. We talk about how we enjoy being around them, but they’re feelings seem to be changing. It probably has to do with our not jumping into bed with them, but we’re not sure that’s it either. The intense reaction to kissing says something, but we’re not sure if there’re any other feelings. We talk a while then I go home to shower and go to bed. I find I’m more confused than ever.
Sunday morning I get to the office early to let the dogs out. I’m dressed for church, but decide to go back home instead. All the way home I feel guilty for not going to church, but, I tell myself, it’s not mandatory that I go every Sunday. I can miss this once. I decide to go riding. Izzie is ready to go and we take off at full gallop. I don’t pay attention to where we’re going and we get away from the creek. We end up on the east side of the ranch on the ridge there. The creek that meanders through the ranch is about two miles below the ridge. We rode hard so I have to walk Izzie part way down the ridge toward the creek. When we get there, I’m so hot and dusty I take a dip in the creek.
The water’s cool but it feels good. This being Sunday, I can skinny dip without worrying about being caught. I relax and swim for what I think is about a half hour. When I come out, I have to air dry some before I can put my clothes on, so I relax, sitting on the bank and watching the dark green algae growing on the rocks at the banks swaying and rippling in the water. I guess I became a bit hypnotized by the motion of it because Izzie getting a drink from the creek brought my attention back with jerk. I’m dry so I dress for the ride home, slower than the ride out.
I don’t know how long I’d been gone, but it was nice not having to deal with anything. And I feel refreshed. I walk Izzie into the barn from the back door, get her taken care of and walk over to my house. Mom and Dad are at here looking for me and Steve comes outta the barn twenty minutes after me. They’re all here and concerned about my disappearance. I tell them what I’d done all morning and they’re relieved. Steve’d rode out to make sure I was okay, but other than my tracks, Steve saw no sign of me. They were concerned I’d had an accident since I was gone so long.
I wasn’t gone that long, I’m home in time for lunch. “No, you’re home in time for dinner.”
“Dinner? Oh my god, the dogs.” Dad had called Steve to let the dogs out when they couldn’t find me. Then he came out to help look for me.
Maria calls to check on me. She asks if I can talk and I let her know I have company. “Did your disappearance today have anything to do with our talk last night?”
“I don’t know. I just wanted a quiet day without any interruptions, so I went riding. It took longer than I expected, that’s all.”
“Did ya think about anything while you were gone?”
“Not really, I just watched the stuff in the creek float by, kinda dazed. I just needed some time away. I’m sorry I caused you to worry. We’ll catch up on the books at work tomorrow. I’ll bring in my floppy. Call ya later, ‘bye.”
Mom, Dad and Steve are standing in the living room waiting for me to get off the phone. “Okay, I guess you needed a real day off, but I wish you’d told us. We wouldn’t have been so concerned.” Dad’s still upset about my absence. I promise I’ll leave a note on my refrigerator from now on when I go riding and there’s no one around. Mom hugs me and she and Dad leave.
Steve stays to let me know everything’s okay with him. He didn’t mind tracking me ‘til he lost the tracks, but he did mind worrying about me. He didn’t know if I was hurt or something else had happened. Now that I’m back and okay, he’s okay. He hugs me, tight, and I feel him shaking again.
“Steve what’s wrong? You’re shaking again.”
“I guess I was more concerned than I thought. I’m glad you’re safe. Now I have to go, Grams needs me and Bob to…clean the garage so she can store some carnival supplies in it.” He leaves, just like that.
I had to get outta there. I lied when I told Sher I didn’t find her. I watched as she swam and dried off. I know I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. And getting close to her afterward was more than I could control, if I’d stayed. It’s all against everything I believe of myself.
I call Maria back and we talk for a few minutes. We decide to have supper at the Burger Barn and I need to let the dogs out. When I get to the office, before meeting Maria, Steve’s there, letting the dogs out. “I’d hoped to save you a trip in. I guess I should have let you know.” I thank him and he leaves, giving me back the key to the office. I didn’t ask for it, he just gave it back. No hugs, no kiss, not even on the head. He didn’t come near me.
I stand in the clinic backyard with the dogs, crying. I don’t know what I’ve done or what’s wrong. Steve’s shying away from me and I don’t know what to do. The dogs go in on their own while I stand there, blubbering. I finally get mad at myself, wipe my face and tell myself how stupid I am to cry over such nonsense. I close the kennel doors, lock the office and leave to meet Maria at the “Barn.”
We have a nice supper, since I told Maria when I arrived “I don’t want to talk about it, yet.” After our burgers we go over to the Frosty Freeze for ice cream. As we finish our ice cream Bob, Steve and Miss Lili came in. They sit with us, but Steve is still distant. I excuse myself, saying I need to check the dogs. I leave, going to the office. I don’t let the dogs out, yet. I sit in the office trying to figure out what’s going on. I sit there for an hour, ‘till nine o’clock, then I let the dogs out.
I’ve been talking to myself the whole time. Starting with Steve’s found another girl. We’re only friends that are attracted to each other. I’ve over reacted to his attentions and kisses and he thinks I’m a tease because of it, so he doesn’t want anything to do with me. Ending with, Okay, you’ve been dumped, except we weren’t a couple, so I wasn’t dumped. His interest was just sex, but he was the one that stopped it, every time. Obviously, he’s no longer interested in me as anything other than just a friend. Okay, I can handle that. We’re just friends. We’re just friends.
Once the office is buttoned up and locked up, I drive by Maria’s. Bob’s not there so I stop. We talk about the difference in Steve. She doesn’t know what’s going on and Bob didn’t come over this evening, either. Shay was glad to see him at Frosty Freeze, so she had stayed for a while after I left and Bob had hugged her ‘bye. Miss Lili did most of the talking after I left, that didn’t change.
“I guess I misunderstood the attention Steve was giving me and I over reacted. I guess, we’re just friends and I thought i
t was something else. I have to play it the way he wants it and back off the attraction completely. I can do that, but I may be in a little too deep to play it cool.”
Maria’s curious, “How do you play it friendly after some of the clenches I’ve seen you two in? I don’t know if I could. It’s starting to look like Bob isn’t far behind Steve in backing out of what he’s started. If he does, there’s nothing I can do about it, anymore than you can. But I don’t think I’ll be so gracious about it. I’d more likely get mad and tell Bob off. I guess we’ll have to wait for the guys to show us what they’re doing before we can do anything.”
“Maybe, they’re just exhausted from all the stuff Miss Lili has got going on. They told us she over does everything and expects them to make it work. I’m hoping that’s it and everything will be fine after the carnival is over.” Maria’s hoping that, too. We call it a night and I go home to bed.
After Grams goes to bed, I let Chief out and go out with him. Bob comes out shortly after, “Hey, what was that at the Frosty Freeze? You didn’t seem happy to see Sher. Y’all have a fight this afternoon?”
“No. I lied to her about finding her when I went looking for her. Worse yet, I found her skinny dippin’ in the creek and I watched ‘til she’d dried and was gettin’ dressed. Now I can’t get the picture outta my head. You know how much I wanted to ride down that hill and join her in that swim? But I didn’t. I stayed where I was and watched, like a peeping Tom. Then I had to get away from her as quick as I could. I couldn’t even get close to her to kiss her ‘bye before I left. And I left as soon as her Mom and Dad did.”
“Hey, you didn’t do anything any red blooded American man wouldn’t have done. Don’t feel bad about watching, or what it did to you. Most men come across things like that at some point in their lives. What I want to know is what scared you so much you took off like a scalded cat?”
“I don’t want to push her too far too fast. You know, like we talked about. And right then I couldn’t have stopped myself. I was in the wrong place to kiss her, if you know what I mean.”
“You don’t mean her place, do you? So, after seeing what you saw, you wanted to take the situation further, huh? Now we’re back to red blooded American male. No man would say differently. But I can see your predicament was precarious and running from Sher was probably the best thing you could do to keep things on the cool side. Most men would have stuck around and pushed the issue. You did well to leave.”
“Yeah? How come I feel like hell?”
“You did the right thing. I suppose you feel like hell because you didn’t stick around and take advantage of her, satisfying yourself. That’s not the right words, but its better than saying what the guys at the station would say. They get a little crass about these things.”
“Yeah. I’d been better off with a visit to Waco this weekend. We’d better get to bed, four o’clock is only five hours away.” I call Chief and we go in.
“You don’t mean that bar that has all those whores? You wouldn’t go back there after you found out that’s all it was. You said the ‘red light district’ wasn’t your scene.”
“And I meant it. Look at what Joe pick up there. It took him a hundred dollars to get over it. That one night cost him a hundred dollars for her and another hundred for the doctor and the medicine. It almost cost him his fiancé, too. He had to dodge her for a month after that little visit. Too much work and discomfort for me.” We stop talking as we step in the back door, Grams is in the kitchen getting a drink.
I’m at the office early to let the dogs out and get things set up so we can catch up on the books. I want to get some of the work finished before Maria arrives so there’ll be some free time. I look at the appointments and find there are only three. I schedule an hour after lunch for Maria and me just in case we don’t get the books finished. I’m hoping there won’t be as much to keep up with today.
Maria arrives at eight and we start on the books before we open. We get the books almost finished when the phone starts ringing. We’re supposed to be open, but there’s an hour before the first appointment. We decide not to answer the phone and continue with the books ’til we’re finished. Half an hour after opening hours we start answering the phone.
Most of the phone calls are for booth reservations. When Miss Lili arrives at lunch, all the booths are reserved. She’s very happy with the participation the carnival is drawing. She says the booths are being put together starting today. Bob and Steve are on duty right now, but they’ll be working on the booths after work this week. Some of the elderly are busy cutting the lumber for the booths and helping with the awnings. Others are busy planning refreshments to sell at the card tournaments. She continues listing the activities that are going on.
We turn down the late callers for reservations. I’m happy to be finished with the call barrage. Maria has to go the bank to make a deposit and I ask her to pick up some Chinese food for us for lunch. While she’s gone, I put the dogs out. I don’t mention the guys or anything else that happened this weekend. Miss Lili plays with the dogs, mostly Chaucee and José. When Maria returns we have lunch then I check out all the dogs. I keep busy with anything I can find to do. I don’t want to talk. I’m not rude to Miss Lili, I just keep busy.
Four o’clock comes and Miss Lili leaves to meet Steve and Bob to get them situated in whatever they’re doing. Maria and I clean the kennels and get things ready to close the office. The phone rings just before we leave. Miss Lili wants our help at the park to stake out the area for the booths. Maria needs to get home to Shay, so I go help. I need to stay in town to let the dogs out later, anyway.
I meet Miss Lili and two elderly men, Dave and Elmer, at the park. They help us measure the areas and stake them off. We get half of the park staked out when I have to leave to let the dogs out. As I’m leaving Bob and Steve arrive with more lumber for the booths.
I let the dogs out and put them away. Then I drive by the Burger Barn to have supper, but I notice Bob and Steve’s truck in the parking lot and decide not to stop. I drive over to the grocery store and pick up a frozen pizza. Maria calls as I’m putting it in the oven. We talk about what’s going on at the park. We talk for a few more minutes when she has to go, Bob’s at the door.
I turn the oven off, leaving the pizza in the oven and jump in the shower. I put my pajamas on and am about to take my first bite when Mom calls. She asks about the carnival then says Miss Lili had called asking if Dad would help out with the horse ride. She says Dad agreed to supply the horses and run it. We talk a few more minutes and hang up. I clean up the kitchen after eating and go to bed. The phone rings, but I don’t answer it. No reason, except I don’t want to get out of bed.
I’m at work early today, taking the dogs out and other things I need to do. Maria comes in and we open the office. There are no appointments today so we do a thorough cleaning of the office and exam rooms. I get a call from H.P. saying jury selection is over sooner than they expected and the trial has begun. I tell them about the carnival and they hope to have the dogs legally released by the weekend so I can adopt them out then. I tell them, all but the newborns, can be adopted. They want me to give discounts on spaying and neutering with the adoptions. I tell them I’ll figure a way to give some kinda discount with the dogs.
At lunch, Miss Lili comes by, but can’t stay. She’s trying to get rides and entertainment lined up, but she wants to see her dogs for a little while. She reminds us there’ll be students by to clean the back yard today and I remind her José is due for x-rays to get his cast off. She says she’ll check on José soon.
She asks where I was last night, I tell her I went home to a shower and bed. She says Steve tried to call me, but I wasn’t home. I explain I was home, in bed and too tired to get up to answer the phone. She asks if I can be available to help after work today and explains what she needs my help with. I agree to help ‘til I have to put the dogs out. She’s happy, but has to leave to make more arrangements.
After work, I g
o to the park to help stake out the remaining spaces. Dave, Elmer, Miss Lili and I finish that task and Miss Lili wants to stake out the ride areas and a couple of the awning areas. At eight I excuse myself to tend to the dogs. Bob and Steve are there, somewhere, I see their trucks when I leave. I lock the front door while I’m out back with the dogs. The dogs back in their kennels, I leave. Steve’s waiting when I come out.
I feel awkward when he says “hi.” I say “hi” back and ask how he’s doing. He’s fine, tired from the work he’s putting in on the carnival. We chat for a few minutes then he asks me to join him for a burger. I have to eat and we’ll be in public so it should be okay. We go to the “Barn” to find Bob and Miss Lili there. We join them and things are easier. We chat with Miss Lili about the carnival’s progress and I try to stay interested. I mention Mom’d told me about Dad running the pony ride. Miss Lili said Steve’d mentioned Dad as a prospect for the ride. I tell her the news about the dogs and she’s happy to hear that José can come home this week and first chance I get his cast is coming off. I remind her Chaucee needs another month before she can come home. Miss Lili is okay with that. When I finish eating I tell everyone goodnight and excuse myself.
Steve walks me out to my truck and stands there talking, standing so I’m not able to get in the truck. He has us wedged between the door and the seat. I have to admit I’m a little nervous. I don’t know what he wants. He says, “I missed you last night. Are we okay?”
“I don’t know, are we?”