Untrusting (Troubled)

by A. J. Wells

  “Steve, Maria and I spend Christmas with our parents. I’m sure there’ll be some changes, but I don’t know what those might be. We all need to make arrangements for Christmas this year.” I’m beginning to wonder if they all think we’d automatically change to meet their expectations.

  “She’s right. We’re an expanding family and we need to expect to accommodate the other side of the family, too. We’ll have to make some arrangements and change some traditions in order to include the in-laws. We can’t ride rough shod over the girls’ families. Now, I’m going to bed. Goodnight.” Steve’s heading for the stairs when we say goodnight and we all go to bed.

  On the way to bed, I check on Penelope and she wants to go to the bathroom. I take her then show her where our bedroom door is if she needs us. She asks about her mother and I tell her we’ll call the hospital if she wants. She wants to.

  I speak to the nurse and she says Mrs. Perez is having a restless night, but her vitals remain good. I ask her to tell Penelope so she can go back to sleep. She asks if Penelope wants to talk to her mother, but her mother can’t say much to her, so not to be scared. “Hello? Mama I’m with nice people ‘til you get outta the hospital. I’m fine. I love you, get well. See ya tomorrow. ‘Bye.” Penelope talks to her mother in Spanish.

  I take the phone and say to Mrs. Perez, “Penelope will be taken care of ‘til you get outta the hospital. She’s a very nice little girl and we’ll be good to her. We’ll see ya tomorrow. Get well soon.”

  “Miss Sher, Ma’ma doesn’t speak English.” She used the Spanish word for mama.

  “That’s okay. Mama’s speak the language of love and they hear it in the tone of voice, not the words. You feel better now?” She nods. “Ready to go back to bed?” She nods and yawns. I pick her up and carry her back to her bed and tuck her in. Steve comes in with a teddy bear for her and she snuggles up to it and falls asleep.

  Steve and I go to bed, but not to sleep. We snuggle and talk, but I’m not sure I like the way he’s talking. If anything happens to Mrs. Perez, he wants to adopt “Penny.” He wants to have a kid filled Christmas this year so we can all play with them and their toys. He wants to go Christmas shopping while we’re in Gatesville tomorrow. He wants Mrs. Perez and “Penny” to spend Christmas here with us.

  “Steve, this all about what you want. What about what they want? Maybe they have family somewhere they’d rather be with. And what about my family? I don’t know what I’m doing Christmas Day.”

  “Are you saying ya won’t spend Christmas with me?”

  “No. I hope we’ll spend Christmas together, regardless, of who we spend it with. Are you saying ya won’t spend Christmas with me and my family, if that’s the way it turns out?”

  He hesitates to answer a little too long. “You are saying that aren’t ya.” I’m getting a little ticked at his inconsideration.

  “No, that’s not what I’m saying. I just needed a minute to think about changing my Christmas traditions to accommodate yours. I don’t feel it’s fair, but I know it’s the right thing to do. I like your Mom and Dad and I like spending time with them, but I, also, like a relaxing day. I don’t know how it is to go from one place to another. I just need a little time to adjust to it.”

  “Are you saying you’re old and set in your ways?” I snicker.

  “I guess I am, but I’m not too old for this.” He turns me toward him for a kiss and takes me right into the inferno.

  As we’re settling down to sleep, we hear a child scream. I grab my robe and run to Penny’s room. She’s sitting up in bed and crying. I hug her and she cries, “Ma’ma es muerta.” Mama’s dead.

  Steve hears her and calls the hospital, but Mrs. Perez is fine. “Penny, the nurse says your mama’s fine. It was just a bad dream.” Penny sits in my lap and talks to Steve for a few minutes and falls asleep. I lay her down and she asks me to stay with her, so, after a nod from Steve, I lay down beside her and snuggle with her and her teddy bear and fall asleep with her. Steve stays and sleeps behind me, his arm across both of us.

  Penny wakes us up at six, hungry. We go downstairs to fix breakfast but find Miss Lili and Glen has beat us to it. Miss Lili comes over to hug Penny and asks her if pancakes are okay. Penny smiles and nods. I help Miss Lili get the syrup and fruit out for the pancakes while Glen flips the pancakes. Steve sits with Penny while I get a glass of milk for her and coffee for us then sits down with her. They talk about going to the hospital. She wants to know if we were all going and Steve says he and I will be coming at lunch to stay with her and her mother. Glen puts a plate of two small pancakes with bacon in front of her and we pass her the fruit and the syrup. She takes what she wants and it’s sparse, but we say nothing. She can’t eat both pancakes even tho’ they’re small.

  Now she wants to clean up and go see her mother. Miss Lili says she and Glen are going to finish eating and get dressed then they can go. She nods. I take her upstairs to clean up. She starts cleaning up with a washcloth. I offer to help her with a bath or a shower. She decides a shower is faster and I wash her hair. I wrap her in a towel and we go into her room to dress her. She thanks me for her new clothes and shoes. I tell her Steve got them for her, while I’m brushing her hair. I go into my room for some clips for her hair. She smells like flowers and looks like an angel when she comes down the stairs to wait for Miss Lili and Glen.

  Her big brown eyes, dark brown curly hair and tan skin are more noticeable in the light pink tee shirt and jeans. She goes to Steve and thanks him for the clothes. He responds and holds his hands out to her. She goes to him and he sets her in his lap. “Where’s your Daddy?” he asks. She says they left him. He was bad to her mother. “Do you have any Aunts or Uncles?” She doesn’t know.

  Miss Lili comes in, asks if she’s ready to go and Penny races to the door. We say ‘bye and they’re gone. Steve and I go back to bed, after we let the dogs out, setting the alarm for ten.

  Maria calls just before the alarm goes off. Steve talks to Bob and they’ll take the afternoon shift with Penny at the hospital and we’ll take the evening shift. Shay needs to stay on schedule so Maria wants to be home for supper.

  So okay, we get to go Christmas shopping this afternoon. We get dressed, grab a burger and look around town for an hour then start for the hospital, stopping at several stores along the way. We’re mostly finished with our shopping when we reach the hospital. I think Steve went overboard on the kids, but I kept track so Bob and Maria don’t duplicate, or we don’t.

  Penny and Shay are playing with some toys Bob and Maria had purchased on the way, mostly cards, coloring books and crayons, and story books. They had bought a tote bag for the toys too. Steve and I hadn’t thought of those things, we’d bought a doll and a teddy bear.

  “Did ya bring flowers for mama? The others did,” Penny says.

  “No we didn’t, but would ya like to go with us to eat and we’ll let you pick the flowers and a gift for your mama. Okay?” I hope she agrees, I’m starving.

  She smiles and nods, “Where are we going for supper?” She says ‘bye and hugs Bob and Maria, but only says ‘bye to Shay. He looks a little hurt, so I tell Penny she can hug him if she wants. She sorta hugs him and says ‘bye again. We all go down together in the elevator after we see Mrs. Perez to let her know we’re going to supper, but we’ll be back. She smiles and Steve lifts Penny to kiss her mother’s cheek.

  Penny doesn’t know about pizza or hamburgers so we find a Mexican restaurant and she orders what she wants. Then ate and ate. I thought she was going to explode. We refuse to get her dessert, afraid she’d get sick from so much food. We tell her we’ll get dessert on the way home.

  We go a florist to get fresh flowers for Mrs. Perez and Penny picks some large orange, yellow and white daisies. She says they look like the paper flowers her mother used to make. We get a card and look at something for a gift. But Penny’s adamant, she wants to get her mother some nice smelling soaps and shampoo. Penny must’ve smelled every gift basket in Walma
rt before she decides on Gardenia. Then we go get shampoo and conditioner to go with it. And we get a card.

  Penny walks into her mother’s room carrying the gift and I brought in the flowers. Mrs. Perez is feeling better and is able to stay awake for an hour to talk with Penny. At eight the nurse says we have to go so Penny hugs her mother and we say ‘bye and assure her Penny will be back tomorrow morning. “No. I have to go to mass tomorrow morning, to pray for mama.” She says. Then after lunch because mass will last ‘til lunch time. Maybe Maria will bring her and chat with Mrs. Perez. Then we’ll take over at supper. Miss Lili and Glen can have the day off, or work on the town’s Christmas.

  After dessert of ice cream cones, we get home to find Miss Lili and two dozen volunteers working on the referrals that have been collected from the churches and the boxes. They’re coordinating the requests for help for the needy. Steve joins them while I get Penny ready for bed with her new teddy bear. She’s much more at ease about her mother so goes to sleep right away. I go downstairs and join the work force.

  When Bob calls, I go over to talk to them. I ask Maria about taking Penny to church and then to the hospital. I want her to talk to Mrs. Perez so we can find out as much as possible about them. The information will help us to help them. I ask Maria to find out about Mrs. Perez’s work skills and Penny’s father’s status. Maria says she’ll do it as long as she’s relieved before dinner time. I agree then go home.

  When I get home the volunteers are gone and the living room has been rearranged. Steve says ‘our’ Christmas tree will be delivered Monday. This year it’ll be decorated for us, since he and Bob can’t do the climbing to get it decorated. I’m okay with that, not that I have any say.

  I ask what he’d done with our shopping bags. He says they’re in the maid’s quarters. I ask him to show me where that is. There’s a door off the pantry that leads to a living room then there’s a good sized bedroom and a nice bathroom. I sort through the bags to find what I’d bought and set them aside. Then we go to get a shower, check on Penny and go to bed.

  I have Penny up, fed and dressed when Maria arrives to pick her up for church. Then I go back to bed. At ten we’re having breakfast with Glen and Miss Lili. They tell us Glen’s family of eight will be here two days before Christmas and will leave two days after Christmas. Now we have to figure out where everyone will sleep. Two per bedroom upstairs will leave no bedroom available for Steve or Bob. Bob will stay at Maria’s and Steve can stay at my place, or Steve and I can keep that bedroom and two of them can stay in the maid’s quarters. It’s settled. I stayed out of it. It’s not my house or my relatives.

  Steve and I go to relieve Maria and her brood at the hospital. Maria tells me Yolanda Perez has been a housekeeper, a maid, a cook at a café, a transient worker in the citrus groves, a ranch cook, well there isn’t much she hasn’t done. Penny’s father was American, that’s why they’re here. But she knows nothing about him now. They were never married and he knows nothing about Penny. She wasn’t married to the last man either, but he kept them fed. That’s the only man Penny knows. Maria shrugs and I thank her for helping.

  They leave and we go in to see Penny and Yolanda. Penny’s sleeping in bed next to Yolanda who’s asleep, too. The nurse comes in to take Yolanda’s vitals, smiles at Penny and tries not to wake her while she does her job. I ask how Yolanda’s doing and the nurse says she’s getting better. The doctor can tell us more and he’ll be in soon.

  When he comes in he says she’ll be ready to go home Wednesday, if she continues to improve. He’s going to start Inhalation Therapy tomorrow to clear her lungs. He says she was very serious when she was admitted, another day or two and she might have died. She’ll have medication and she’ll need to do her breathing exercises for a few weeks. She’ll need to see her doctor before Christmas to get continuing care for about a month after she leaves the hospital. She’ll be getting her strength back slowly, but it will come back. She’ll need some help for a week or so after she leaves the hospital. I can see we’re going to have a problem, or two, or three.

  Penny’s coloring when we go back into the room. We talk to Yolanda in our broken Tex-Mex Spanish. She said the doctor had told her in Spanish. I tell her Penny will be in to see her tomorrow after supper because we all work and that’s the earliest someone can bring her. I tell her to feel better and get Penny to say ‘bye so we can leave.

  We haven’t eaten yet so we stop to eat and feed Penny. Penny’s asleep before we get home. I change her and put her to bed. Then I go down to face Miss Lili with the information from the doctor. I ask where Penny and Yolanda are going to stay for about six weeks. She says she’ll have to arrange a place. Steve wants them to stay in the maid’s quarters and pay one of Maria’s sisters or nieces to stay with them while I’m not here. I’m suddenly understanding and not liking it.

  “Steve, we’ll be out at my place. I won’t be here except for supper.”

  “Oh, that’s right. Maybe Glen’s daughter will help out.”

  “Steve, what are ya thinking? They’re guests. We can’t ask them to do that for a stranger.” Miss Lili is miffed at the thought of imposing on Glen’s family, but not at imposing on me. I wait it out.

  Miss Lili mentions my Mom taking them in. “I wouldn’t consider asking Mom to take on Yolanda and Penny. That would be bad manners and an imposition on her.”

  “Are you saying ya won’t ask her?” Steve’s shocked.

  “Yes. And nobody else had better ask her either.” I’m looking at him sternly and he seems not to like it.

  “Sher, we help the people of the town. It seems only right that the people help others.” Miss Lili’s just as shocked.

  “My family helps in any way they can, but I hardly think imposing on them is helping anyone. I suggest ya find somebody else to help, someone that has the time.” I’m getting pissed and if Penny wasn’t upstairs asleep, I’d leave.

  “Are you insinuating we impose on the people of the town?” Steve’s getting mad now.

  “No. I suggest ya ‘ask’ for volunteers to help, not volunteer someone and expect their cooperation.” I’m going to stand up to this challenge.

  “That’s not what we do and I’m insulted that you would say that.” Miss Lili is getting mad, too.

  “Miss Lili, I didn’t intend to insult anyone. But I’ve been listening to your plans and it sure sounded exactly like what I’d said. You may not have meant it the way it sounded, but that didn’t stop it from coming across like that.”

  Miss Lili looks at Glen and he nods. “Oh, my gosh! I’ve been doing this so long I’ve become brash, ill mannered and commanding, rather than charitable to others who help me help others. I need to get more help from the town’s people to make this the town they want, not try to keep it the way it is. We need progress here, not stifle updating....”

  I interrupt her, “Miss Lili, that’s not what I meant. I don’t believe you’re stifling the town, just overpowering it a bit. But who else would push the town to keep going, if not you. Miss Lili, maybe they have someone they can stay with. I think we’re just taking over too much without asking Yolanda. And trying to guilt or shame one of the town’s people to take them on isn’t mannerly. That’s all.”

  “I see. I’ll ask around to see if someone is willing to take them in for a few weeks and help care for them, if it’s needed. I’ll help them out financially and anyway I can. I need to remember to aide in the organizing of things, not command it the way I think it should be done. That’s my New Year’s resolution and you and Glen have to make me stick to it.” She’s looking at me so I nod.

  “Does this mean there’ll be less done for the town?” Steve’s not so sure about this.

  “That wasn’t my meaning. Miss Lili has done a great job of keeping people’s spirits up and things moving. I just think she needs to get more backing from volunteers to decide and accomplish what needs to be done. After all, the term ‘for the town’ indicates the town is involved. Otherwise, it might
be termed ‘to the town’ if only one person is doing the deciding. That’s a lotta blame to take on if the town doesn’t agree.” Now Miss Lili and Steve get it and they nod to show it.

  “There’s another thing, concerning Yolanda and Penny. Yolanda has the experience to be a housekeeper and cook. I asked Maria to find out about their background so we can help her get a job. Miss Lili, I wanted to ask ya if ya thought ya could use a housekeeper. With the four of us working, the house and cooking is left to you and you have the town to keep up with. You could decide what the housekeeper’s duties would be and keep the duties ya want when ya want them. Think about it.”

  Glen smiles at Miss Lili and she smiles back. They’ll have their heads together discussing my suggestion, later. Steve’s thinking, too. “I’m going to bed. I told Yolanda, Penny would be in to see her tomorrow after work. If someone wants to take her before that, let me know.”

  I go upstairs to shower and go to bed. Steve’s not upstairs yet.

  When I get up in the morning, Steve’s not in bed. I get dressed and go downstairs and Steve’s asleep on the couch. I don’t wake him.

  Maria’s at work already and doesn’t look happy, either. We discuss what happened last night. Steve went after Bob last night to relay the whole story. Bob didn’t go back to Maria’s nor did he call her. I tell her Steve slept on the couch. I don’t know any more than that. We shrug and get ready for our appointments. I have two spayings to do today so I’ll be staying the night here at the clinic.

  At lunch Maria tells me we have six reservations for the hotel starting Friday and lasting up to the third of January. We have room for six dogs and eight cats. That’s okay since it doesn’t look like this holiday season’s going to be too great anyway. I don’t even know, for sure, if I’m engaged. Oh well, with Miss Lili occupied with Glen’s family, maybe Steve and I can figure it out. Or, at least, maybe I can.

  Maria and I get the two puppies surgeries over and put them to rest in a kennel. We go outside to get a breath of fresh air and there’s a shaded patio swing and a patio set sitting there on pavers. Miss Lili, Glen, Steve, Bob and Penny come through the gate. “Do you like it?” Miss Lili asks.