“Oh, goodness, no. It was my fault. Wait...are you Sarah?”
“Um. Yes. I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage.”
“Well, I’ll be. You’re prettier than Liam said you were. He’s told me all aboutcha, ya know,” she spews in her southern twang, making me sicker than I was just five minutes ago. Is she some bimbo he hooked up with? How old is she, and why would he tell this skank, this cougar, about me? Jesus, I can’t get control over my emotions lately.
“Huh. That’s nice. I’ve got to go find my friend. Nice to meet you...” I say quickly, attempting to sidestep her and hustle out the door.
“Chrissie. Chrissie Hamilton,” she announces, holding her hand out to shake mine. “I’ve been working with Liam and Cole, getting some of their original songs out to a few country artists for recording. They are just amazing, right?”
“You’re Chrissie?” I hate that I sound so confused, but she is not at all what I had pictured in my mind. She’s...older. Probably twenty years older than I imagined.
“Well, yes, honey. I am. I can’t wait to hear Cole and your guy tonight. My husband was supposed to be with me but had to return to Nashville for an emergency business meeting. I hope the next time we meet, he’ll be with me, so I can introduce y’all. Oh, he is so wonderful.” When she says that, her eyes brighten and she smiles sincerely.
The diamond ring–or rings, I should say–on her left ring finger shine like a beacon and for whatever reason, my breathing returns to normal. All of a sudden, I’m happy to finally meet Chrissie.
“Then I can’t wait to meet him. I’ll have a seat for you at our table near the stage, if you’d like.”
“That would be amazing, hun. I’ll be out in a jiffy.”
Raina is waiting at our table with drinks, along with Liam’s sister, Brooke, when I return and I’m glad my stomach has calmed down somewhat. They both howl with laughter when I tell her about my run-in with a very married Chrissie, and how I thought for sure she was some skank that hooked up with Liam. This is the first time I’ve met Brooke and telling that story makes me seem like some kind of insecure teenager.
“Wait till you see the diamonds. I’m not sure how she holds her hand up with the size of those suckers.”
“Oh my God, Sarah! You thought Liam was hooking up with her?”
“Damn, that sounds bad, doesn’t it? These last few days, it’s like every single emotion that can be wrung out of me has been. The other day, I cried when a little boy in my class stood up and read his poem aloud, and it wasn’t even sad. You must think I’m some kind of crazy.”
Brooke laughs, putting her hand gently on my arm.
“Not crazy, no. Unless it’s crazy for Liam, then maybe so.” She winks at me and I can tell she and I will be great friends.
Just then, I see Chrissie exit the bathroom and motion for her to come to our table, pulling up another chair for her. The server takes her drink order and hustles over to the bar. I introduce her to Raina and Brooke and before long, the four of us are laughing and having a great time. Turns out, Chrissie has a very pleasant personality and is extremely kind and generous, offering to let us stay at their place in Nashville, if we ever want to tag along with Liam and Cole. She assures us, with six bedrooms, there will be plenty of space. My house has two, so six? Yeah. That’ll be plenty of room for Liam’s entire family.
Sexy and charismatic. That’s my man. He is on stage singing an original he and Cole wrote about a man who tries to convince a woman she is everything to him. That he is so deeply in love with her he’ll never let her go. I get lost in his eyes. Those fiery, tense eyes that are gazing into mine, because I know this song is about me. Through his music, he’s telling me what he needs me to know.
I have fallen so in love with this man. Right at this moment, chills come to life and work their way through my entire body, causing a shiver. Before I can shake them off, a single tear falls to the table, my shoulders visibly relax, and I nearly melt when I see the very honest, candid smile he gives me.
Liam and Cole talk at length with Chrissie after they finish both sets, and just the smile on Liam’s face indicates that the conversation is going as he had planned. If she likes the two originals they sang tonight, that would be four songs of theirs that may possibly be recorded, and I couldn’t be prouder of him.
“Babe, you ready to go? I’m just about worn out.”
The guys are finished packing up their gear, and the bar is cleaned and closed for the night.
“Let’s get out of here. I have kind of a funny story to tell you on the way home,” I say as we lock up and walk toward Liam’s car. “It’s about Chrissie.”
“Chrissie? Oh, shit, Sarah. You didn’t think...”
“Oh, yes I did. I’d never met her before, Liam. I had no idea.” I laugh just thinking about the first meeting with her. I can only hope she never finds out, or I will be mortified.
I proceed to tell Liam the story and he finds the entire situation just as humorous as Raina did.
“I know. She caught me completely off guard, and I didn’t think. I’m sorry I thought that. She really is a genuinely nice person. Offered to let us stay at her house if we ever tagged along to Nashville with you.”
It seems I’ve been staying more and more at Liam’s house as the weeks go on, which is totally fine by me because sometimes our schedules don’t mesh at all, and the only time I get to see him is in the morning or when he comes home late from the bar.
“Bathroom’s yours, babe,” he says, pulling me close and eating me up with a kiss.
“Don’t fall asleep, stud. I’ll be right back.” My hand grazes his cock, and I feel it twitch when I shift to walk into the bathroom. A little grunt passes his lips, and I know he’ll be more than ready. “Remember. You’re playing me like your guitar tonight, right? Plucking and strumming a perfect tempo. Mmmm,” I moan. “So, yeah. I’ll be right out.”
His smirk is back and he winks, smacking my ass...again.
I no sooner enter the bathroom than my stomach begins to churn again, and, for the second time tonight, the contents of my stomach are emptied. In reality, all that would be left is some wine and the crackers and cheese tray we ordered to share.
Liam must hear me because he’s standing right there at my side while I kneel in front of the toilet.
“Jesus, honey, are you okay?”
“Just wait for me out there. You don’t want to be in h–”
I can’t even finish the sentence before I’m sick again. Liam grabs a washcloth and runs it under cold water, then gently places it on the back of my neck while he holds the hair back from my face. My hands are gripping the edge of the toilet seat, and when my stomach settles, I rest my head on my arms, breathing out a sigh of relief.
The cold cloth feels refreshing when he strokes it across my forehead and dabs it again on my neck.
“This is twice tonight. I think one of those kids shared their germs.” I stand and brace myself, turning to Liam. “Let me wash my face. I feel gross.”
“What do you mean, twice? Were you sick earlier?”
“Well, yeah. I thought it was nerves. You know, meeting Chrissie and your sister and all. They’re both important to you. But I guess not. I mean, I felt fine when I got to our table, and even had a glass of wine and some crackers and cheese. I didn’t feel sick then at all.”
“I’ll stay right here with you while you change, then we’ll get you to bed.”
And he does just that. He helps me get my PJ’s on and stands like a guard dog at the ready when I wash my face. It’s so domestic feeling. Like we’re husband and wife, and for the first time in, well, forever, the thought of that kind of relationship doesn’t scare me at all.
“Can you just hold me?”
“Come here, baby. You feeling okay now?”
“Much better. Especially with you here. Thank you, Liam. I love you.”
“Love you too, babe.”
The tiredness hits me quick and hard, and I
know I’ll only last a few minutes before I fall sound asleep.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Sarah
The smell of freshly-brewed coffee and frying bacon hits my nose the moment I open my eyes, still exhausted after ten hours of sleep. And the next moment, I’m in the bathroom, sick again. This is not good. This can’t be happening. Not again.
Once my stomach settles, I lean back against the bathroom vanity, knees up, head down, and try to sort in my mind how this happened. I chuckle, albeit a brief one, and I’m reminded that I know exactly how this happened. Liam and I had sex. Liam and I love sex, and we have a lot of it. And the pill isn’t one hundred percent. But seriously, is it the universe conspiring against me that I would be in the one-percent of women on the pill who actually get pregnant? I take those little suckers every day at the same time. I only missed one. One pill. One time.
One teeny tiny little pill, and now there’s probably a teeny tiny little human growing in my uterus. Panic sets in and my breathing accelerates; my pulse is pounding. I can’t do this. I can’t go through this again. Tears come full force, and as soon as I try to stand and run, strong arms surround me.
“I’ve got you. You’re okay.”
“Liam. Liam, I think I...”
“I know, babe. I know what you’re thinking. And it’s okay, sweetheart.”
“Oh, God, Liam. I can’t,” I cry. “I can’t do this again.”
His strong hands hold on to me, rubbing up and down my back, his lips firm on the top of my head. It’s somewhat comforting, but then my mind goes back to six years ago and I break down again, nearly collapsing in his arms.
“Sweetheart, you need to breathe. Come on, babe. Breathe with me. Slowly.” His voice is quiet and calm, his fingertips caressing my shoulders. “In through your nose and out through your mouth. Take it slow,” he whispers in my ear, never letting me go. “That’s it. A few more slow breaths. I’ve got you, baby. I’ll always have you.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Liam
Sarah finally relaxes enough and I carry her back to my bed, holding on to her, letting her know I’m here for her. Her sobs and tears are damn near enough to break me.
I think I can pretty much confirm now what I thought last night.
She’s pregnant.
First thing this morning, while Sarah was still asleep, I called Brooke, who broke out in a scream when I told her Sarah might be pregnant. Her best friend is a nurse so I wanted to give her friend a call. After a brief conversation, I actually felt a whole lot better. She told me that if Sarah is in fact pregnant, the chances of another miscarriage are very small. It’s much more likely she’ll be able to carry a baby to full-term than to miscarry again. Although she’s going to be a hard sell, even with the facts.
But, first things first. We need to confirm she’s actually pregnant.
I can’t help but smile, thinking that Sarah could be pregnant with my baby. Unfortunately, this could be a nightmare for her.
Leaning down, I kiss her on the forehead, only to discover she’s asleep again. At least she’s settled right now. Her breathing is slow, but even, and her long, thick lashes are resting on her cheeks. With or without make-up, Sarah is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
For a brief moment, I think how beautiful a baby girl would be if she looked like her. Flawless, creamy smooth skin, with big, shiny green eyes, and dark curls. She’d be a stunner, the most gorgeous baby in the nursery, no doubt. And I don’t even think that would be a biased opinion.
I ease out from under a sleeping Sarah and go to the kitchen, to clean up the mess and put the cooked bacon in the fridge.
Deciding to let Sarah sleep a bit, I grab my guitar from the spare bedroom. Right now, lyrics to a new song are all jumbled in my head, so I also snag a pen and my notebook to jot them all down.
My mind drifts when I’m standing in the doorway to the spare room, looking around at what could possibly be a nursery. I know I’m way, way ahead of myself, but the visions of this comfy room being a place for our baby makes me happy, most likely because it’s with Sarah. So, I decide to sit in here to write and play, finding inspiration in the fact that I might be a father very soon.
It seems like I’ve been at this for hours. It’s so easy for me when the thoughts are there and the words are flowing. I’ve written nearly one complete song and the ideas for a second are scratched on the next blank page of the songbook.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice movement, and when turn to look, I see Sarah leaning against the bedroom door, her hand splayed across her stomach. Almost as if she’s protecting our baby. I keep forgetting that we really don’t even know for sure she’s pregnant, but it seems as though she’s almost certain. She’s in one of my shirts, and it practically comes to her knees. There is sadness in her eyes that I hate seeing there. She pushes off the door, walking slowly toward me. All I can do is stare at my gorgeous girl, eyes tired and red, hair piled on her head with a few tendrils framing her beautiful face.
“I’m scared,” she whispers as she sits on the ottoman, facing me in the chair. “And I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”
“Wait a minute. Last I checked, it takes two people to make a baby, and to be honest, we had a damn good time doing it. But sweetheart, we’re not even sure yet that you’re pregnant.”
“I missed a pill.” Her head is down, and her voice is so soft I almost missed it.
“What?”
“I missed a pill. But Liam, I swear to you, I didn’t do this on purpose. I swear I didn’t. I would never do that to someone on purpose, like Daniel said. And you know I don’t...I mean, I didn’t even want to get pregnant.” She’s talking faster and faster, starting to panic again.
“Stop. Stop right there. Deep breaths again, babe.”
Jesus, if I have to hear that man’s name again, I may just scream. It’s like he’s some kind of fungus that I can’t get rid of, try as I might.
“Sarah, I know you didn’t get pregnant on purpose. I know that.”
“You do?”
“Jesus. Yes, I do.” I put down my guitar and pull her over to my lap, framing her face with both of my hands. “Sarah, if you’re pregnant, I am completely, one-hundred percent okay with that. I love you.” Shrugging my shoulders, I continue, “I would’ve liked to ask you to marry me first, but it’s okay. This is not a hardship for me. I’m twenty-seven years old. And if I get confused on all things baby, I’ll ask Cole for advice.”
“Oh my God you wouldn’t.” She laughs. It’s a beautiful sight, I might add.
“No. I wouldn’t. But it made you smile, and that’s what I wanted to see.” I tuck Sarah’s head under my chin and rub her arm, trying to help with the anxiety she’s feeling. I take a minute and let the scent of her hair fill my nose. It’s the same scent on my pillowcase that I wake up holding after she’s gone to school.
Shit. I hope I never accidentally spill that little tidbit to Cole. He already tells me I’ve lost my balls.
“Let’s go to the drugstore today and get a test. We’ll get three if you want, just to be sure. We’ll find out together, and if you are pregnant, you will be fine.”
“How do you know that? You don’t know that for sure. What if I lose this baby too?”
“I don’t know for sure. Sometimes you have to take a chance. It’s a risk, but baby, virtually every good thing in life is. What I do know is that you’re young and it’s much, much more likely that you’ll carry a baby full-term than have another miscarriage. Just because you had one, doesn’t increase the chances of having another one.”
“Who told you that?”
“Brooke’s best friend is a nurse. I called her this morning. You’re tired, you’re sick. I just put two and two together and kinda figured it out myself. And I have to tell you,” I whisper quietly in her ear, “the vision I have of you pregnant with my baby is damn near the sexiest thing I can think of.”
Her eyes get misty again and her hands r
each for mine.
“I’m so scared. I’ve already had wine and I know you can’t drink alcohol when you’re pregnant. What if that does something?”
“That little bit isn’t going to hurt a thing. Just don’t have any more. And if you don’t calm your fine ass down, I’m gonna smack it,” I say with a smile. “Now, get the ass up and let’s get ready to go. We’ll get some drinks you like and saltines while we’re out.”
“You’re a smart man, Liam Reynolds, my ass smacker extraordinaire.”
“And you’re a beautiful woman, Sarah Witten, my little worry-wart.”
Three pregnancy tests and two panic attacks later, we discover that Sarah is pregnant. And God love her, she’s handling this the absolute best she can. It isn’t possible for me to completely understand her fear, but I’m doing everything I can to try to alleviate it.
Last time, she was so young, so stressed. This time she has me, and I can guarantee I will be sure she’s taken care of the way she should be. She told me I didn’t have to go to every doctor’s appointment with her.
I told her I did.
She told me I didn’t have to redecorate the spare bedroom as a nursery.
I told her I did.
She told me I didn’t have to buy her a new maternity wardrobe.
I told her I did. And not only did I buy her a new maternity wardrobe, I bought a diamond ring as well, and I’m waiting on the perfect opportunity to ask her to marry me. I’m thinking the sooner, the better.
So, I think she gets it now. I’m all in. And there’s no one in the world I’d rather have a family with than her.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Liam
It’s been eight weeks since we confirmed Sarah is pregnant. Some days have been calm, and other days, it seems she’s in a downward spiral of emotions...similar to being on a roller coaster...ups and downs, twists and turns, and a few loops along the way. There have been times when I’ve felt like my head was spinning trying to catch up. Yet, it’s one of the things I love most about her. Remember I said Mary Poppins or Satan? Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Hold on to Her (Only Her Series Book 2) Page 16