Hidden Desires

by T J Vertigo

  "That's you Jo, not me. I'm really tired of it."

  Jodie rolled her eyes and jumped up to sit on the counter. "Hey, what ever happened with that blonde... what was her name... did she ever come back?"

  Cayden frowned harder. "Yeah, Brooke. She came back, with "Fred". Forget it, she's straight."

  "Oh my god! That's why you're so pissy! You asked her out and she freaked!"

  "No! I didn't ask her, but I wanted to. I was really going to do it."

  "Then why are you so upset? She didn't shoot you down or anything. Besides, how do you really know she's straight?"

  "Her boyfriend simply hates the smell of dog." She said sarcastically.

  "Oh." Jodie said sadly. "Well, Cayd, there'll be others. And if you really like this one, remember, we were all straight once? She wiggled her eyebrows.

  "Oh no. I will not go there. No way." Cayden protested.

  "We'll see." Jodie said more to herself than out loud. Something about this little blonde touched Cayden differently than any others. Jodie had a feeling she'd be hearing if not seeing more of Brooke in the near future.

  Grant cleared his plate from the table and brought it to the sink. Since Brooke was in front of him washing her dish, he took the opportunity to wrap his arms around her from behind. He sighed when she squirmed away. "What honey?" He asked.

  "I'm not in the mood... please." She said shortly.

  Grant pursed his lips. You win some, you lose some. He made his way to the fridge for a beer. "So, I made the doctors appointment for Saturday morning, this way you could meet up with Mom at Lord and Taylor in the afternoon. She hates shopping alone."

  Brooke glared at the back of his head. "Um, I don't really want to go shopping."

  "How do you know how you'll feel Saturday?"

  The blonde frowned. "I just know. I was planning on visiting my mom on Saturday anyway."

  "Why? You see her all the time."

  "She's my mother, Grant, I should be able to see her whenever I want." She argued.

  Grant rolled his eyes. Here we go again...

  "Honey, look, I know you can't be bitching because you're tired, I've seen you sleeping lately. So, what's your problem?"

  Brooke nearly blushed. Sure she'd been sleeping, but she'd been dreaming too. "Nothing." she snipped.

  "You've been crabby ever since this sleep thing started, but now you're just bitchy. I mean, just because I suggested that you go shopping..."

  "Suggested? No you didn't suggest anything. I bet you already told her I'd go didn't you?"

  Grant looked shocked. Brooke certainly was acting very strange, even for her.

  "That's what I thought. Just like you made plans for me on Sunday too. Well, I'm not going with your mother on Saturday." Brooke stomped her foot.

  Grant stepped back. "What the hell's gotten into you?"

  Green eyes narrowed. "Nothing." she lied, throwing the dish towel on the table. "I just don't want to be bothered."

  "Oh, so mother is a bother?" Grant asked hotly.

  The blonde closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "I didn't say that." she said through a clenched jaw.

  "Fine. Do what you want on Saturday. I don't care, but you are going to call mother and cancel."

  Brooke growled, startling Grant. "Fine." she said as she stomped into the other room. He's just lucky that I didn't tell him I don't want to be bothered by him either.

  Cayden decided to walk home after she closed up the shop. It was a long haul to Tribeca from uptown and it was a rare occasion that she'd walk the distance, but she really didn't feel like the subway or a bus. She fished her walkman out of her back pack and set it to her favorite station. Her dark glasses hid her blue eyes as she ambled on. She wasn't one to stare, but when she got lost in her music or deep in thought, it seemed like she was staring when in reality, she wasn't even seeing the people. New Yorkers have no tolerance for that sort of thing, and after a few altercations, dark glasses became a permanent part of her face. She wasn't in a hurry, but was making good time as her long legs ate up the sidewalks. While waiting for a traffic light a flash of blonde hair caught her attention. After investigating further, Cayden furrowed her brows. Why would I think I saw Brooke? Of all people, her? Get over it Cayd. She mentally slapped herself in the head and crossed the street. She tried to get lost in the music but the DJ's were rambling on, annoying her, and the little blonde kept coming to mind. She scowled behind her glasses. I could have sworn she was checking me out, I'm never wrong about those things. How can she be straight? Unless she didn't like what she saw and made up a boyfriend. That's never happened to me before. Cayden wasn't cocky, but was aware that she was attractive. However, SHE was always the one who made up excuses, never the other woman. That's strange... now I know what it feels like. Serves me right I suppose for being so overly critical of every woman I meet. Cayden began a laundry list of all the things she found wrong with the last few women she dated. No, those were legitimate observations. They were all nuts. I wonder what's wrong with Brooke? She seems pretty normal. I wonder if she really does have a boyfriend. What's he like? Does he love her? He obviously hates dogs. This made Cayden mad. It's clear that Brooke loves Fred, how can she date a man who hates dogs? Ok Cayden, there you go again, making assumptions. Maybe it's just Fred. Maybe the little dog really smells bad and her boyfriend loves dogs, but not Fred's smell. Cayden sighed heavily. Shut up... just cut it out. she scolded herself for going on and on about nothing. Her stomach suddenly growled and she realized she hadn't eaten dinner. When she neared her neighborhood, she stopped into a Chinese take out and called Wade on her hardly used cell phone. "Hey, I'm getting Chinese. You hungry?"

  "Yay! I was just thinking to myself how lovely a fried won ton would be right now. "

  "Dipping sauce?" Cayden asked.

  "But of course."

  "I'll be home in a few."

  "Get shrimp for La La."

  "La La can bite me." Cayden shut her phone and ordered. Maybe Brooke and her boyfriend have a dog at home for all I know. I bet if she does, its hairy. She looks like the type to have a small hairy dog. A Maltese, or a Pekingese... or maybe she has a cat. A Persian or an exotic breed... Cayden frowned. What the hell do I care? Jeez Cayd! Stop this nonsense this very minute. You act like you're obsessed with her! Suddenly frightened, her eyes widened. No. I can't be. Must just be horny.

  Brooke was feeling rather haughty about getting her way with Grant. She wasn't really so against shopping with his mother, she just didn't want to spend any more time with the snooty woman than she had to. Brooke's family was an extremely social group, who used every opportunity to get together and celebrate. Grant's family were all busy bodies only interested in the status of each other's bank accounts. Brooke's family had fun together... pool parties, barbeques, beach days... memories she recalled fondly with a smile on her face. She dreaded get-togethers with Grant's family, and was left disgusted afterwards. Frankly, she didn't care for rich people's problems and wished she'd speak her mind when they complained about their Dolce and Gabana skirt not pleating properly. Actually, now that she thought about it, she really didn't know why she was being so submissive in the first place. Brooke wasn't the most outspoken person, but she certainly wasn't as namby pamby as she'd been acting. Could I possibly be afraid of his family? Why? Do their opinions mean so much to me? Since when? Brooke thought seriously for a moment. Exactly why have I been allowing Grant to make plans, decide for me, even order my food in a restaurant? I've never been like this with anyone else. Why Grant? She really wondered about this and it began to disturb her. She thought about when she met Grant and how he claimed to love her for who she was. It was so refreshing to hear that for a change... and he had a stable job unlike all her other boyfriends, another rarity among her past. Plus, he was seriously handsome. There was no reason why she shouldn't have been smitten with him. Except... well, he's never asked me my opinion now that I come to think about it. He never flirted with me either. Jeez, no wonder
it took me hours to realize that Cayden was flirting with me! It's been so long that I forgot what it was like. Brooke heard the front door close and frowned. He didn't even tell me where he was going. When I'd have a fight with my other boyfriends, they'd always buy me flowers or get me a card. Even if it wasn't their fault. I don't think he's ever gotten me flowers! Why have I settled? He respects me doesn't he? I thought he did. Is he taking me for granted? Bev said Nancy respects Sam. I wonder what she means. They seem so incredibly happy. I wonder if Cayden's girlfriend respects her, I bet she does. Maybe that other woman was her girlfriend? Nah, that woman was weird, probably not Cayden's type. I wonder what her type is? I bet Cayden buys her girlfriend flowers when they fight. Brooke furrowed her brows in confusion, not knowing when her thoughts turned from Grant to Cayden. She shook her head and stood in front of her mirror, taking stock of herself. She found herself to be attractive, she had pretty eyes when they weren't red and puffy, and her lips were always described as full. Her body was tone and tight, she had a good sized chest and a nice round butt. Two things Grant was very happy with. Sometimes she felt that was all he was happy with. Could I just be a trophy? Me? Nah. Brooke had seen pictures of his former girlfriends, frilly froo-froo girly girls. She wasn't overly feminine and giggly. She was quite athletic and loved to roller blade, ski and play sports. It's been ages... she thought as she looked to the closet. With a slight smile she dug out her roller blades and put them on. Why the hell not? He left, and I have no idea where he went. Funny enough, I really don't care. Probably complaining to his mother. She smirked to herself. Yeah... now where were those wrist guards?

  * * *

  Wade set up the coffee table with plates and beers and waited for Cayden to come home. When he heard the key in the door he smiled, and La La Bird ran to the door like a dog to greet her. It wasn't often that Cayden wanted to eat together, usually she'd hole herself up in her room and eat by herself. Wade was happy he'd have the opportunity to eat and talk with her.

  "Hey, call off the hounds." Cayden said as La La stretched his long fat body up the tall woman's leg.

  "He's just happy to see you, and don't play that game with me, I know you love him."

  "Do not." the brunette said, walking into the living room with the cat attached to her leg. "He's not a pet, he's as big as a house, eats as much as I do... he should pay rent."

  Wade grinned. "Gimme the dumplings!" he said excitedly.

  "God, you're easy." Cayden joked, handing him the entire bag. "I'm going to change, be right back."

  Wade unpacked and set up the food, and smirked knowingly when he found the shrimp. "See, I told you she loves you," he told La La and began cutting up shrimp for him. When Cayden came back, Wade frowned. She looked tired and sad and reached for a beer first. “How was work?" he asked, opting for the roundabout approach as to what was bothering her.

  "Same as always. Oh, Blanche came in this morning. She annoyed me a little, her dog needs some attention."

  "Why don't you call the groomer to make a house call again?'

  "The groomer refuses to go to her house any more."

  "That bad huh?"

  "Worse. So how was your day?" she asked as she speared a piece of broccoli. Wade's day was always the same. How exciting could it be working as a security guard in a lingerie shop?

  "Cool! I got to play butch cop today." He said puffing up his chest.

  "No joke? Someone stole something?"

  "Yeah, this chick took a few pairs of panties. I got to hold her in the back room and look menacing until the cops came." He failed to tell her that the only reason he caught her was because he was scoping her out as a possible date for Cayden.

  "You have the sweetest job. Half naked women running around you all day long. "

  Wade shrugged, feeding La La shrimp. "It's nothing special for me, but it could be dangerous for you. Too much eye candy for you to handle. You're hormones would rebel and stage a coup."

  Cayden threw a chop stick at him. "I like being single just fine... and I get sex, my hormones are comfortable thank you very much."

  "EW! I don't want to know that! Now every time you close your door I'll be thinking that your doing it."

  Blue eyes twinkled playfully. "How do you know I only do it in my room?" she teased.

  Wade looked at the coffee table, Cayden raised an eyebrow. He looked at the easy chair, she raised the other. He looked at the couch he was sitting on and Cayden wiggled both eyebrows.

  "You did it on the couch didn't you." he said more than asked, standing and sniffing the cushions. "La La get off the couch, Aunt Cayden soiled it." he moved over to another spot on the couch.

  Cayden laughed out loud and it felt good. "Shut up! Like you don't do it."

  "Yeah, but I don't sit here on the couch, ankles to the wind..." he said, spreading his legs and lifting them in the air.

  "You should try it." Cayden winked.

  "Speaking of all things sexual, how's Jodie?" he asked, wondering if they may have had a fight, causing his friend's mood. "I haven't seen much of her lately. Anything new in the romance department?"

  "Please." The tall woman rolled her eyes. "You know, I think she actually wants to date Shelly! She seem interested and Shelly is only after one thing so I think they'd get along perfectly."

  "Really" After you told her what a disaster your date was?"

  "Hmph. Well, she doesn't think it was all that bad. Actually, I've probably not been giving anyone much of a chance. I think I'm just supposed to be alone. I'm over dating."

  "You always say that though." Wade said with a knowing smile.

  "Yeah, but I mean it. I had enough. Either they're nuts or they're straight."

  Wade watched her eat as he thought about what she said. True... they've all been crazy in one way or another but straight? Where'd that come from? "You never mentioned any straight girls before." he said curiously.

  "There was this woman, at work. Most adorable smile, sparkling green eyes, great hot little body, cute dog too..." Cayden drifted off.

  Wade raised his eyebrows in surprise. Cayden was actually showing genuine interest in a woman. "Yeah, and..."

  "Straight." she frowned.

  Bingo! Here's the big pisser! Straight girl turned her down! Poor thing. Go easy Wade. "Oh, are you sure?"

  "Actually, I don't really know. I may have come on too strong and scared her."

  Not expecting that answer, Wade almost choked on a won ton. "You! Too strong???" He was floored. This woman must be something else on wheels for Cayden to react in such a way. "For real?"

  "I just said maybe I did. I don't know. She was definitely checking me out... with interest and suddenly just as everything's flowing perfectly she throws her boyfriend at me."

  Cayden looked hurt and pissed at the same time. Not knowing the exact circumstances, Wade knew to tread carefully. "Maybe she told you she had a boyfriend to see your reaction? She may not have read you right." he offered. "I mean, when's the last time you flirted with someone?"

  "Maybe. I don't know. She really got to me Wade. I don't know why but I can't stop thinking about her... just forget it." she said, frustration clearly evident.

  "Ok, but if you see her again, don't write her off completely. You never know, Cayd. She might be at home kicking herself right this moment for passing up the opportunity with you."

  Cayden shrugged and continued eating. Wade ate too, but his mind was working a mile a minute. Must speak to Jodie.

  PART 5

  B Y THE END of the week, Grant was completely at a loss as to what happened to Brooke. His usually easy relationship suddenly turned complicated. Brooke was going out every day after dinner rollerblading and not coming home until after dark. When she did come waltzing back home, she showered, drank a bottle of water and went right to sleep. When he would ask her where she went, she would shrug and reply, "Around." Grant didn't like this new independent Brooke. He liked the old compliant one much better. The only plus side to this whol
e thing was that Brooke was asleep moments after her head hit the pillow and the majority of the time, she fell asleep with a smile on her face. However, this did nothing for Grant, and her independent attitude was unacceptable. As he sat and waited or her to come home, he went over everything he was going to say to her. After all, he was the man, he was the one who was supposed to go out gallivanting while she stayed home. That's the way things were supposed to be and he was going to tell her so.

  * * *

  Cayden's week went by as it always did, slow but not painfully so. Jodie popped into the shop on occasion, telling tales of her newest dates, suggesting a few women that she thought Cayden might be interested in. The tall shopkeeper just rolled her eyes each time. Cayden wasn't interested in dating. She was happy to go home alone, eat dinner and watch TV in her bed. No complications, no responsibilities. She often wondered how Jodie could have this long string of one nighters without any problems. She also secretly wished that she was able to pull something like that off, meet a good looking woman, sleep with her and forget her. It would make things so much easier for the brunette to have a no strings fling once and a while, but she knew she couldn't do it. She'd feel guilty, like she used the women, and that would bother her too much.

  At home, Wade tried to draw more out of Cayden in regards to the blonde that seemed to disrupt her life, but nothing was revealed. Cayden wanted to forget that she ever met Brooke, and refused to talk about her to Wade, to Jodie, to anybody. It was bad enough that Brooke invaded her thoughts and dreams, she didn't need to talk about her too.

  Cayden came home Friday evening with a veal parmagiana hero and was eager to prop herself up against the foot of the bed and eat in peace. However that was not to be.

  "CAYD!"

  Blue eyes narrowed at the half opened door and the tall brunette stopped mid-bite. "What?"

  "Phone. It's Jo!"

  "Tell her I died." Cayden bit into her sandwich and sighed. Moments later Wade thrust his hand into the room with the phone swinging by the antenna from his fingers. "Thanks bud. Didn't you owe me one?" She took the phone and sighed again. "Yeah."