Hidden Desires

by T J Vertigo

  "Well, you may be surprised to know that I take it very seriously, real mug me please." Denise said with a charming smile of her own.

  Cayden grinned, and poured them both coffee. "So," she began, not knowing how to start, "Are you gonna feed La La?"

  "La La?" she asked in confusion. "You're not going to tell me that his name is La La?"

  "Yeah, actually it's La La Bird, and don't look at me, I didn't do it." Cayden said as she prepared a bagel.

  The fat cat started dancing around Denise's legs and she thought it was awfully cute. "I guess a little lox won't kill him."

  Cayden snickered. "At this point, nothing matters."

  They ate in silence for a while, Cayden taking careful glances at Denise, and Denise wondering what Cayden was up to. Cayden wanted to make conversation, but she didn't know what to say, and every time she thought of something, she thought it was stupid.

  Eventually, Denise finished her bagel and gave Cayden a curious stare. She could sense the tall woman's hesitation and wanted to know what was going on. "Would you have invited me over on your own?"

  "Huh?"

  "I mean, if I didn't invite myself over today, would you ever have thought of it?"

  "Maybe. I guess I would have. I'm not that good at entertaining." Cayden admitted.

  Denise shook her head. Apparently Cayden was right, she wasn't very good at it. "Wanna go watch TV? Do you have any movies?"

  "Sure, I have plenty of movies. Go on in the living room and check out what I got, and I'll clean up in here."

  Denise wandered into the living room and found the stack of movies easily, she fished through them and was startled when Cayden crouched down behind her. She's definitely up to something. Denise played it cool, seeming to look through the movies as Cayden breathed down her neck. It was hard to concentrate, she was becoming increasingly turned on. She wanted Cayden badly, but the tall woman told her she wasn't interested, and Jodie told her Cayden was in love with Brooke. Denise thrust the tape she was holding behind her blindly and cleared her dry throat. "This one looks good."

  Cayden laughed "Didn't know you were into this sort of thing." She teased. "But if you insist...Naughty Sailor Boy it is."

  Confused, Denise took a good look at the tape and blushed. "Oh, uh, I meant this one." God... She was careful to make sure this one wasn't an all male porno too.

  Cayden grinned cockily. She never did it before, but using her looks and her body seemed to be working just fine. "Is something distracting you?"

  "Now that you mention it," Denise said slightly breathless, "Could you back up a little?"

  "Why?"

  "Because.. well... Cayden, what are you trying to do?"

  "I thought it was obvious." Cayden said in a deep sexy voice that sent a shiver down Denise's spine. Noting the reaction, the tall woman bent her head and touched her lips to Denise's ear. "Put the movie in and come to the couch." She whispered, then got up and made herself comfortable on the couch.

  Denise had to gather herself before she could even move. This was very unexpected, actually it was the last thing she had in mind. She invited herself over because after talking to Jodie, she thought Cayden might need someone to talk to about Brooke. She didn't think this was going to happen. Selfishly, she was excited, she very much wanted Cayden and here was the opportunity, however, something was wrong with the whole thing. She put the tape in the VCR and cautiously sat on the couch. "What's going on here?"

  "What do you want to go on?" Cayden asked. She was feeling rather good about herself, being able to seduce Denise so easily made her feel pretty cocky.

  "Hell, I want to throw you down on the couch and molest you, but...."

  Cayden felt a surge of adrenaline and leaned over, kissing Denise suddenly. While it didn't do to her what Brooke's kisses did, it was doing something. She grinned to herself when Denise wrapped her arms around her, pulling her closer, exploring her mouth urgently.

  Denise couldn't help herself, even though she knew this was the wrong thing to do, Cayden was so hot, and here she was for the taking. Never breaking the kiss, she climbed up onto the tall woman's lap and pushed her down onto the couch.

  Cayden's heart beat fast in anticipation of finally having sex with another woman. This was exciting for her, she never did anything like this before. Knowing Denise was hot for her, and using it to get sex was a bit of a rush, and she took it for granted that Denise knew this was a one time thing. A leg fell between her own and Cayden groaned. Okay, maybe a two time thing...

  Denise worked her hands between them and started making her way inside Cayden's shirt. She kept pushing away the conversation between Jodie and herself and concentrated on Cayden's stomach.

  The tall woman was full of adrenaline, waiting for Denise to touch her, she was convinced that this is what she needed to get over her obsession with Brooke. NO! Do not even think about Brooke. Argh, don't even think her name. Stop it. She ran her hands down Denise's back and held onto her ass. See, that's not Brooke's ass at all, Brooke's is rounder, more muscular, it'd fit perfectly in my hand. Now, this isn't a bad ass, not at all, but it's not Brooke's. Finding that last thought highly disappointing, Cayden focused her energy on the kiss, and the hands resting beneath her breasts. Definitely not Brooke's lips, you know exactly what that feels like and this is not it. That thought disappointed her even more than the last one. Look at how shy she is to touch my breasts, now if it were Brooke, that woman would have had me naked and spread eagled already. That thought gave Cayden a rush of arousal and she groaned loudly. Brooke would be all over me like white on rice, she wouldn't be hesitating like Denise is, she'd have her hand down my pants so fast....

  The loud groaning spurred Denise into action and she finally touched Cayden's breasts. Cayden jumped as if startled and Denise pulled away from the kissing to look at her. "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing." Cayden replied sheepishly. She jumped when she opened her eyes, fully expecting to see Brooke on top of her.

  "Are my hands cold?" Denise asked, noting Cayden's body stiffening up.

  "No, it's nothing really."

  "It's Brooke isn't it." Denise stated, rather than questioned.

  "Fuck Brooke! Why does everyone think I want her? I wouldn't be doing this with you if I wanted her would I?"

  Denise sat up and removed her hands. "I don’t know about that, Cayden."

  The tall woman got angry. "I don't want Brooke!"

  "I think you protest too much. Jodie told me..."

  "Oh crap! What did Jodie tell you?" Cayden jumped up from the couch and fixed her shirt.

  "She told me that you're in love with Brooke and you don't know how to handle it."

  Cayden stared at Denise as if she were crazy. "I am not! I want her out of my head immediately."

  "And you thought this was the perfect opportunity."

  Cayden shrugged guiltily.

  "I'm not hurt Cayden. In fact, it was nagging me at the back of my mind. I don't think I would have let it get too much further without asking you about Brooke anyway."

  "Fucking Brooke. She's ruining everything."

  "Talk to me, what is she ruining?"

  "You wouldn't understand." Cayden flopped back into the couch, embarrassed and dejected.

  "Try me. I said I want to be your friend, and I mean that."

  "She's haunting me. She's always in my head. And I mean always."

  "Are they good thoughts?"

  Cayden thought a bit before answering. "Yeah, I mean, I don't think about her in a bad way... but I don’t want to think about her at all."

  "Why?"

  "Its disrupting me. These thoughts, when I'm sleeping I dream about her when I'm awake I think about her. She's a determined little shit too, she wants me and she insists she'll have me."

  "Why does that piss you off?"

  "I don't want her." Cayden said, then blushed.

  "Oh? I think you do. Why are you fighting this so much?"

  "I'm perfectly happy th
e way things are, I don't want someone coming in and messing everything up."

  "In what way?"

  "She wants me, and if I let her have me then I have to be in a relationship. That's not on my agenda."

  Denise just hit pay dirt. Cayden does want Brooke, she may very well even love her but she's scared to death of change. "God Cayden, you don’t have to marry her, what about dating her?"

  "I hate dating."

  "You haven't tried it with someone you really like."

  "I never said I like her." Cayden said defensively.

  "Oh, yes you did, loud and clear. You said you'd have to be in a relationship with her if you let her have you. That pretty much says it all."

  Cayden frowned deeply. "I said that? Okay, I like, her. Fuck, I want her too. Why did this happen to me? I was minding my own business and she came along and screwed everything up!"

  Denise smiled. It was going to be really easy to help now that she got Cayden to admit it. "So, she wants you bad huh?" Denise asked, nudging Cayden with her shoulder.

  "Oh yeah." The tall woman nodded rapidly. "She made her intentions perfectly clear."

  "What's the problem? Is it because she's never been with a woman, or do you even know that?"

  Cayden shrugged, noncommittally.

  There's gotta be a reason you won't give her a chance." Denise pressed.

  "I don't want a relationship and Brooke does." Cayden stated, folding her arms across her chest.

  "How do you know that? Did she tell you that?"

  "No, but if she doesn't, I'm not interested either, I'm not an experiment for a straight girl. No way." Cayden rose and started walking into the kitchen. "Want more coffee?"

  "Yeah, please." Denise thought about what Cayden was saying and it made some sense. She wouldn't want to be an experiment either, but Cayden was really playing hard to get. If I had someone that looked like Brooke after me, hell, I'd give her a go. Fuck that she's straight...

  "Here." Cayden set the mug down and sat down next to Denise.

  "So, she told you she wants you, how much more did she say?" Denise continued the conversation much to Cayden's dismay.

  "She didn't only tell me... we kissed a few times and well... it wasn't your 'I got a crush kiss'. Those lips spoke volumes."

  "Is she a good kisser?' Denise asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

  Cayden closed her eyes and nodded, recalling the feel of Brooke's lips. "Oh yeah."

  Denise grinned at her friends behavior, Brooke must pack one hell of a kiss. "Obviously, she turns you on, why are you denying yourself?"

  "I don't want it to get too far. She's too intense, she's stubborn and pushy and demanding. She's determined to have me and I don't like it."

  Denise pursed her lips in thought. "Did you tell her to tone it down? Maybe she doesn't realize how it makes you feel."

  "She knows, and she gets off on controlling me. I can't believe how much she got away with."

  "You were sick Cay, next time you guys are together, things will be different. Just tell her to slow it down, if she really wants you, she'll accommodate."

  "You think so?" Cayden though a bit, then stood up. "Wait a minute, there won't be a next time, I don't want to get involved with Brooke. Period." The thought of having sex with Brooke frightened Cayden. It had been so long since she'd had sex, she was afraid of her own feelings.

  "You think about her all the time, you dream about her, she turns you on, and you probably fantasize about her too." Cayden's squirming gave her that answer. "No ones saying you must have a relationship from the get go, just give her a chance and take it slow."

  "Brooke won't take slow for an answer. Trust me." Cayden snorted.

  "Do you really want her to go away altogether?"

  The tall woman rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in defeat. "No, I guess not."

  "What's wrong with asking her for dinner, or even bagels and lox?" Denise grinned, patting Cayden on the leg.

  "I can't be alone with her, she'll be all over me and it makes me nervous." The tall woman admitted.

  "Tell her. Cayden, she can't read your mind, she wants you and she's moving to quickly for you. Just tell her."

  Cayden rolled it around in her head. She could tell Brooke to slow down, that would give Brooke the idea that there is something pending in the future, and maybe she'll ease up. Do I want to think about the future? Oh man, a relationship? That means sharing everything, talking about my day, being cute and nauseating in front of my friends.... holding hands and being romantic. Maybe sleeping with her isn't such a bad idea, being an experiment isn't that bad. Then again, straight girls usually fall in love with their first woman, and lord knows what will happen to me if we do. I may lose my mind and want to be in a relationship. Sex will do that to you. I know! I'll be lousy in bed, I'll be the worst lover, then she'll be turned off by me. Cayden knew she couldn't do that, and frowned.

  "Have you even called her to thank her for taking care of you?"

  "No! I didn't even want her here in the first place."

  "Tsk, tsk, where are your manners Cayden." Denise teased. "It will get you two talking and maybe you'll wind up getting together, and be able to discuss things."

  "Great, more talking, just what I always wanted." The tall woman said sarcastically.

  "Well, I'd thank her if it were me. She didn't have to come over here and see to you, I'm sure you were less than cordial."

  Cayden grinned. "I was a bitch, and she even made me soup."

  "All the more reason to thank her. Think about it Cay. I'm going to get going. You probably have things to do. Thanks for talking to me, it means alot that you trust me."

  "Yeah, well...." Cayden floundered.

  "Call me sometimes, maybe we can all go out together." Denise leaned over and kissed Cayden on the cheek and saw herself out.

  * * *

  Cayden pouted around the house after Denise left, going over their conversation again and again. She wandered into her bedroom and sat on the bed, still deep in thought. La La hoisted himself onto the bed next to her and began licking himself. She scratched him behind the ears and frowned. "You know if we humans could do that I wouldn't be in the corner I'm in now." La La stopped licking and looked at her smugly. "Not you too!" she said with a heavy sigh. "Shit, I am so confused." She laid down and stared at the ceiling, the cat sat right next to her, looking at her as if he was listening. "See, I have the hots for Brooke, I definitely want to sleep with her... " Cayden took a moment to explore that idea and wound up groaning as her body responded eagerly. "The thing is, La La, I don't want it to get too serious. I don't want to be that sappy 'yes dear', I don't want to be controlled by Brooke's vagina." Cayden pursed her lips, a small debate went on inside of her about the merits versus the downside of being controlled by Brooke's anatomy. "Yeah, I told Jodie that one day maybe I'll want to settle down, but not now. I'm pretty contented being by myself with no one to answer to, and stuff like that." Cayden rolled over onto her stomach and studied the cat. "At least I thought I was... but now, I don't know. Brooke is taking complete control of my brain, I think about her all the time. Do you know, yesterday, I thought about her when I... well, you wouldn't know, you don't have any balls. Anyway, its safe to say, that maybe my subconscious is telling me I do want to settle down... with Brooke." Cayden frowned, regardless of what her subconscious was trying to tell her the whole idea of being half of a couple made her cringe. "Then we'd be one entity.... Oh look, there's CaydenandBrooke... I saw CaydenandBrooke at the supermarket and they were soooo cute... yuck." The tall woman sat up and sighed. "Denise does have a point, it really would be polite to thank Brooke for taking care of me, even if I didn't want her here. Hmm, than that may give her ideas, like I may want her to do it the next time I'm sick. I don't want that. I do like kissing her though, she has the softest lips and I would like to get a feel of those breasts. God La La... those breasts.... they sing to me." Cayden felt the tingles of arousal flitting around in her stomach. "Jus
t thinking about them turns me on, I can't imagine what it would be like to touch them. Hell, just her kisses left me in bad shape, her mouth is so hot, her tongue...." Cayden shifted her position and pulled her shorts out of her crotch. "Its happening again." she complained. "Okay, I'm getting really horny thinking about her, maybe this is all a physical attraction, maybe I just need to sleep with her. Just have sex once and she'll be happy and I'll be happy and then we can go on with our lives." The tall woman smiled at her idea, until she thought about saying goodbye to Brooke. "Ooo, that was weird. It wouldn't be so bad to have her around after all. Shit. I just know she wants a serious relationship, I can't sleep with her right away, the quicker I sleep with her, the quicker we become CaydenandBrooke. Okay, so here's the deal, I'll call her to thank her, then maybe we can get together every so often, hang out, maybe even kiss a little. That should be alright. I'll tell her I'm not into sex right now, or relationships, and she'll back off and I can breathe. That sounds reasonable. Yeah," she gave the cat a squeeze, "That's what I'll do."

  * * *

  Wade stared at his cell phone is total disbelief.

  "Don't say anything, don't even blink funny, or La La gets it." Cayden threatened.

  "Excuse me, but can you repeat yourself? I thought you asked me for Brooke's phone number." Wade said, barely hiding his shock.

  "I did, and don't you even THINK about saying something stupid. I have the cat."

  "Yeah, um, what do you want it for?" He asked, worried Cayden may want to harass poor Brooke.

  "Just you never mind why, give it to me." Cayden insisted.

  "Okay, but no yelling, no attitude and no heavy breathing. Be nice Cayden."

  "I'll be as nice as I can."

  Wade narrowed his eyes. "Very frightening concept. Are you going to tell me why I'm giving you the number?"

  "I want to be polite and thank her for taking care of me alright?"

  Both Wade's eyebrows raised. "For real? You're not playing with me?"

  Cayden sighed. "Just give it to me."

  "Alrighty then."