It Might Be You

by Jennifer Gracen

  Maria’s dark eyes got glassy. She closed them, but the tears escaped and slid down her cheeks.

  “It’ll be all right,” Lew told her gently. “I’m here. He loves you. Tell him.”

  A strangled sob burst from her mouth, and she clapped her free hand over it. More tears fell. Lew kissed her other hand, which he didn’t release.

  A chill prickled over Nick’s skin. He’d never seen his parents like this. He moved back and again sat in his chair, but brought it closer until he sat right at her side to stare down at her. “Whatever it is, he’s right. I love you. So go on—I’m listening.”

  Her eyes opened and focused on him, liquid with emotion. “I just pray you’ll forgive me. Try to understand. . . .”

  Nick didn’t say anything. He clasped his hands on his knees and waited, trying to ignore the churning of his stomach.

  “I . . . I lied to you, mijo,” Maria finally said. “I know who your biological father is. I’ve always known who he is, and where he is.”

  Nick felt like she’d slammed him in the chest with a sledgehammer. The air left his lungs with a hiss. He just stared at her as his heart skipped a beat, then took off like a shot.

  “The only two people I ever told were your abuela and . . . your father.” She glanced to Lew, whose eyes never left his wife’s face. “I couldn’t marry him, start a life with him, with any secrets between us. I told him a month before we got married. And he didn’t leave me; he supported my decision and kept my secret. He’s the best man I’ve ever known in my life.”

  Lew’s jaw clenched and a muscle jumped, but all he did was lift her hand to his lips and kiss the back of it.

  Nick cleared his throat hard, trying to dislodge the boulder that had formed there. Maria turned, trying to lie on her side to better face her son.

  “When I was twenty,” she said, “I worked during the day and went to community college at night. I used to work as a waitress, but then my cousin got me in as a housekeeper for a very rich family. Better pay. So even though I lived in Queens with my family, I took the bus out to Long Island every day.” She swiped at her wet cheeks. “I was young, naïve. . . . Well, I had a short affair with someone, and I got pregnant. But I quickly realized I meant nothing to him. And what was worse, much worse . . . I’d come to understand he was a horrible man. So I quit the job and left, without ever telling him I was pregnant. I didn’t want him to know.”

  She sniffled hard, but the tears kept coming, rolling down her face. “I’d seen how awful he was to his own young son. He was downright cruel to him, and I didn’t want him to do that to my baby. And I knew if I told him I was pregnant, he’d either make me get rid of it, or try to take it away from me . . . so I ran. I told Mama, and she sent me down to Florida to live with Titi until the baby came. By the time you arrived, Mama was here. She gave up her job, her whole life in New York—my other sister and my brothers—to come down here to live with us . . . you and me.” A sentimental smile flickered. “You were her first grandchild, after all.”

  The blood roared in Nick’s ears and his heart pounded, but he sat very still. After a long beat, he managed to choke out, “Who was the man? Tell me his name.”

  Maria gulped, sniffled hard, but met his eyes directly. “His name was Charles Harrison. The second. So this boy you’re a match for? I guess he’s Charles’s grandson . . . and your nephew.”

  Lew shook his head in slow astonishment. “Jesus, what are the odds of something like this happening? I mean . . .”

  Nick felt the blood drain from his face and sat back. A strange whirring noise took over his head, something like a tornado. He gripped the arms of the chair, trying to stop the sudden sense of falling. Maybe he was going to pass out too.

  “Charles Harrison had four children,” Maria went on quietly. “The oldest was Charles the third. You said you spoke to him? Well, he’s your half brother.”

  Nick nodded. His head felt fuzzy, and he closed his eyes, trying to process the words. Jesus fucking Christ, he’d had a conversation with some stranger in New York, and it turned out the guy was his half brother? He could barely breathe.

  “You have four half siblings,” Maria continued. “First two brothers—Charles, then Dane. Then a sister, Tess, and then the youngest son, Pierce. He was only eight years old when I worked there.” Maria sniffed back the tears and sat up a little more. “Charles was horrible to him. He either ignored the poor boy, or picked on him, absolutely went after him. The mother had left a few years before. The other kids were older than him, early teens, so it wasn’t as hard for them. But that boy . . .” Maria shook her head. “So alone. So sad. The nannies were raising him, not his own father. And then I watched him start to get angrier. He’d fight back, lash out.... He changed. For the worse.” She sniffed hard, wiped at her face. “And I didn’t want my own child to turn into him. To have that kind of life. So—”

  “Were you ever going to tell me this?” Nick asked roughly. His voice felt like gravel in his throat. “I mean . . . ever?”

  She looked at him and her eyes filled anew. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to.”

  Nick swore fiercely under his breath.

  “She was scared,” Lew said. “You have to understand—”

  “No, I don’t.” Nick rubbed his now clammy palms on his shorts, but his eyes locked on his mother. “You’re scared of the guy, fine. But me? Why wouldn’t you tell me this? Didn’t I have a right to know the truth?”

  “If you ever had kids,” Maria whispered, “I was going to tell you then. So you’d have a medical history.”

  His stomach twisted. “Ah. But I didn’t deserve that same courtesy?”

  “Mijo,” she whispered weakly. “Please . . .”

  “Please what?” Nick felt his blood surging, his temper starting to strain. “Please don’t be mad? I think I have every fucking right to be mad right now, no?”

  “Nick,” Lew said, stern and low. “Watch how you speak to your mother.”

  “I’m speaking to both of you! You lied to me too,” Nick spat. “You have no moral high ground here, so just step off.”

  Lew’s jaw clenched. “I understand you’re shocked. But it was your mother’s decision to make. Her choice. I went along with it because I love and respect my wife. And by the way, I love you too. You are my son, in every way that counts, and we all know that.”

  Nick sprung to his feet and started to pace the small living room. The whirring in his head got louder as the blood rushed by his ears. He ran his hands through his hair, trying to calm himself.

  This was . . . he couldn’t absorb this. They’d lied to him about his whole damn life.

  When he was eleven, a middle school project about genealogy had raised questions about his biological father, whom Maria had never talked about. She’d sat her son down and explained that she’d gotten pregnant via a one-night stand when she was twenty. Said she’d gotten drunk at a party and made a foolish choice—but she was adamant that Nick knew she never thought of it as a mistake. That she took responsibility for her choice, that Nick had been a gift from God to her, and most of all, that she never regretted her decision to keep her baby.

  Maria had told her young son that she’d never even known the man’s last name, which was why she hadn’t put one on his original birth certificate. All she could tell Nick was he was white, probably some basic Anglo-Saxon mix, and he’d never known she was pregnant. When she met and fell in love with Lew, it had been another gift from God to her, and they’d built a family together, made a good life for their three kids.

  Young Nick had been surprised, but hadn’t given the news much thought. It did explain why Nick always felt there was something that was just . . . off. He’d heard some of his aunts whispering once when he was six years old, something about Maria being an unwed mother and his white father, and he’d assumed it was about Lew. . . .

  Apparently not. Maybe his gut instincts had been strong even then. So even at the young age of eleven, Nick had been gl
ad to know the truth about his conception because it helped some things make sense, things he’d felt that, before, he just couldn’t make sense of or verbalize. When he heard relatives whisper about his mom once in a while, he’d, knowing the truth, felt a protective sting for her. Then he’d pushed it into the recesses of his mind and gone on with his life. It hadn’t altered who he was. He had a dad who loved him. His mom had kept him and loved him. That’s all that mattered.

  Now Nick looked at his dad, and his mom . . . and betrayal broke over him like a tidal wave, crushing him with its ferocity. He could barely breathe. Honor and truth were driving forces in his life. Few things held more weight with him than honesty.

  They knew that about him. Yet they’d known the truth all along and purposely kept it from him. He was almost thirty years old. Would they have ever told him the truth? Even now, he didn’t know, and that made something dark and hot snake through his chest.

  “You have to listen to her,” Lew said. “To both of us.”

  Nick stopped pacing and crossed his arms over his chest as he glared at them.

  “Charles was smooth,” Maria said, “and he was a ruthless man. I knew he was that way in business, but he sweet-talked me and I didn’t know any better. Until I saw how he treated that boy. It always made me so . . . uncomfortable.”

  “But you slept with him anyway,” Nick ground out. “Spare me the pity party.”

  “You watch your mouth!” Lew shouted, springing to his feet.

  Maria shot out a hand to grip her husband’s arm. “Yes,” she said to Nick. “Yes, I did. I was naïve. He was charming to me. Handsome, powerful, and very persuasive. I was young, flattered that someone like that would pay attention to someone like me.”

  “Don’t make her do this,” Lew growled at Nick, his fair cheeks splashed with high color.

  “I’m okay,” she said, but her wide eyes, filled with sadness and anxiety, said otherwise. “He deserves to know all of it. I can take it, and so can he.”

  “Damn right. So. Serious question.” Nick pinned her with his eyes. “Why didn’t you get an abortion? You were young, had no money. Why keep me?”

  Maria’s mouth dropped open in shock, but she recovered quickly. “For me, there was no choice. You were my baby, so I wanted you. That was it.” She brushed her hair back from her face and he saw her hands were shaking. “I was willing to do whatever I had to, to make sure you had a good life. But a normal life. I didn’t want Charles Harrison’s money, or all the strings that would come with it. I didn’t want him anywhere near you.”

  “You don’t know how it might have been,” Nick said. “You assumed.”

  Maria’s dark eyes flashed. “Go Google Pierce Harrison sometime, the boy I’m talking about. He’s a grown man now, older than you. You’ll see what I saved you from. He turned into a hell-raiser. A spoiled, entitled bad boy—the whole stereotype. Got in trouble a lot. He was a professional football player in England, and he quit suddenly in the middle of a scandal. His life was a mess. I’d bet this house that his antics are a direct result of growing up the way he did . . . mistreated by his father. So I’m not sorry for leaving and saving you from that kind of life.”

  “Saving me from what, a rich man’s life?” Nick snorted out a laugh. “Oh, please.”

  “You don’t have to defend yourself,” Lew said to her.

  “Yes, she does,” Nick snarled. “She absolutely does.” He’d always known he had been adopted by Lew, and that somewhere out there was the man who’d helped actually create him. It had rarely bothered him. The few times it had, he’d dealt with it and hadn’t let it take over his head and heart. But now, he felt like the world had teetered sideways and he didn’t know which end was up. There was a name. A face. A history. A whole other family out there.

  “I’m asking you,” Maria said carefully, “not to go to New York. I think it’d be a disaster. I’m asking you not to meet or get involved with these people.”

  At that, Nick’s eyes rounded. “These people, as you say, are my blood relatives.”

  “But they’re not your family,” Lew said. “We are. We know you, we love you, and we’re trying to protect you.”

  “I’m a grown man who’s quick on my feet, strong, smart, and licensed to carry a weapon,” Nick said. “I don’t need protecting from anyone, thank you very much.”

  “Yes, you do,” Maria said. “You’ve never dealt with someone like Charles Harrison before. The older one, not the younger one. If that man finds out you exist, and that you’re his son? He’ll try to take over your life.”

  Nick snorted out a laugh. “Yeah, right.”

  “You don’t know!” she cried, lurching to her feet. Lew’s hand shot out to grab her arm and steady her. “People like that, with that kind of money and power? You have no idea what—”

  “I deal with murderers, drug dealers, violent criminals, addicts who go fucking crazy, every day,” Nick said. “Every single day. You think some pansy-ass white-bread billionaire scares me in the slightest?”

  Maria shook her head. “You don’t understand.”

  “I guess not. And right this moment, I don’t need to. I’m outta here.” Nick turned and headed for the door.

  “Don’t go!” she yelled, her voice breaking. “Please!”

  He whirled around to face her. Her fear was palpable, and his heart squeezed at the look of terror on her face, but he was more furious than he could ever remember being. “What.”

  “Don’t go there. I’m asking you not to go there,” she begged.

  His mouth twisted as he seethed, “You’re asking me not to help save a kid’s life to keep your secret? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

  She jolted as if he’d slapped her.

  “That’s not what she’s asking you to do,” Lew said, “and you know it.”

  “It’s what it sounds like to me.”

  “Then you don’t know your mother if you think she’d ask you to—”

  “I don’t know who she is right now—you’re right!” Nick shouted. His heart thumped wildly as he turned to his mom. “You lied to me my whole life.”

  Her mouth quavered and her eyes filled with fresh tears, but she stood her ground. “I lied to you to protect you. I’ll never apologize for that. I just . . . should’ve told you sooner. That, I apologize for.”

  Nick’s jaw clenched so tightly, his teeth ground together. “I’ve never felt so betrayed in my entire life. It’s a fucking knife in my heart.”

  The tears rolled down her face. “I know,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry, mijo. And again, I’m still begging you not to go to New York.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” Nick said, his frustration growing. “It’s not like I’m going to walk in there and a neon sign’s gonna go off—‘long lost family member here!’”

  “They’ll know,” she said, her voice dropping, somber. “You . . . you’re so much like him. You walk in there, they’re going to take one look at you and know who you are. I know it.”

  “You are the neon sign,” Lew added.

  Nick flinched as if he’d been slapped. “I look like him?”

  “Very much so.” Her voice was a ragged whisper. “Yes, you have my coloring, but his features. You’re tall and lean like him. You have his frame . . . the shape of your eyes, your nose, your square jaw . . . even your hands, your long fingers. . . .”

  Nick’s breath caught and stuck in his chest. Somewhere in his mind, as a little boy, he’d decided his more Caucasian features were like those of Lew’s Irish family. But of course, once in a while, he’d wondered if he looked like his biological father. Now, to know he did look like someone, much less bore a strong resemblance, undid him to the core.

  “Please don’t go to them,” she pleaded quietly, eyes wide. “Please. It can’t end well. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

  “I’m not going there for a goddamn family reunion,” Nick seethed. “I’m going to try to help keep a sick kid from dying.”


  “I know. I hate to hear a child is sick. But—”

  “But nothing,” Nick said. “I’m not going to punish that boy for your sins.”

  Now it was Maria who flinched as if he’d hit her, gasping. She took a step back.

  “That’s it.” Lew strode purposefully to Nick and got right in his face. “I know you’re in shock, and I know you’re mad. You have every right to be.”

  “Gee, thanks for your permission,” Nick snarled. “Dad.”

  “You wanna come at me, fine,” Lew said. “But I won’t have you continually insulting your mother. That’s unacceptable.”

  “What’s unacceptable is that you two kept this from me all this time,” Nick said. His chest was still tight, like the air in the room was vanishing.

  “You need to try and calm down,” Lew said, “so we can all talk rationally about this.”

  “I’m sure you have questions,” Maria said. “I’ll try to answer whatever I can.”

  “And why should I believe anything that you say?” Nick asked. His blood rushed through his body and his heart beat wildly. “It’s not like you just kept this from me when I was a kid who might not understand. You lied to me my whole life. Both of you! I . . . I can’t look at either one of you.” He turned away and walked straight to the door, out of the house, right to his car, even as his mother desperately called his name from the front porch. Without a look back, he slammed the car door shut with all his might, started up the engine with a roar, and sped away.

  Chapter Two

  Every day, when Amanda Kozlov drove past the slightly imposing gates with the sign marked PRIVATE PROPERTY, up the long driveway to the front of the elegant, contemporary estate, she had to steel her heart a bit before going inside. Charles Harrison III, his wife, Lisette, and their four children lived in such a magnificent mansion, and were such a loving family, it was hard to think of it as a sad place. But these days, it was.

  For fourteen months, she’d been a private nurse for their younger son, Myles. She went to the mansion five days a week to attend to his needs. She knew she wasn’t supposed to get attached to her patients, but she adored him. Now twelve, he was just starting to shed his boyishness for tween-dom, but his sweet blue eyes and vibrant nature still shone with childlike optimism despite his harrowing situation. He’d been fighting valiantly for almost a year and a half now.