12.10.0.68 Embedded Commands
Embedded commands provide another tool from the Milton model that proves extremely useful in delivering a therapeutic metaphor. Erickson demonstrated his expertise as a master at giving the unconscious mind directions through embedded commands. To form embedded commands, insert the client’s name in a sentence to draw the client’s attention to what follows. Suppose you desire for a client to “let go” some negative feelings. Within your metaphor you may speak of someone who lets some negative emotions go. In your metaphor you could say something like this: “And just like he let his emotions go, Ralph, let those emotions go, now!”
Erickson also marked out such words that he wanted to go into the unconscious mind. Marking out refers to emphasizing specific words or phrases by altering your tonality. In giving these commands and marking out words, both lower your tone and raise the volume of your voice. You can instruct a person’s unconscious mind through embedded commands to get well, now. (Did you get the command from the marked out words?) In a therapeutic metaphor incidents, concepts and/or characters provide the isomorphic tools which provide the essential elements of the metaphor. Marking these elements out draws the client’s conscious and/or unconscious mind to them.
12.11 Summary—The Attractiveness of Metaphors
Metaphors speak to the unconscious mind.
A metaphor suggests solutions to problems in a way that invites a client to enjoy solving their own problem. The client makes a movie of the metaphor and the movie in turn does the healing.
People identify themselves in the metaphor.
Metaphors help control the therapeutic relationship.
You can embed directives within the metaphor.
Metaphors decrease resistance.
Metaphors provide an excellent frame for reframing. In the story of the metaphor, reframe their problem.
Metaphors build ego-strength. When people hear a story about how other people solved their problems, they can identify with it and feel good about it.
When you use metaphors in your communications, you model a great way to communicate.
Metaphors provide a wonderful way to remind others of their own resources and to assist them in tapping those resources.
Metaphors assist people in desensitizing them from their fears. Metaphors provide another tool of dissociation.
Metaphor descriptions stimulate much more interest than most forms of communication. They immediately garner focus.
Metaphors provide much less threat than do directives.
Metaphors provide opportunity for flexibility.
Metaphors provide an exceptional tool for building rapport.
Metaphors provide a non-manipulative form of communication.
The listener must go inside to their own experience to make sense out of the story. Metaphors provide one of the easiest ways to get to Deep Structure.
12.12 Boiler Factory Metaphor
One time, when Milton Erickson was a student, he was walking down the street in his town and he saw somewhere across the street a rather large building and there was this noise coming from across the street from this building. And he looked up and he saw a sign on the building and it said ‘So and So’ boiler factory. Now I don’t know if you know this, but in those days they used to make boilers to heat the hotels that were rather large. In fact, imagine a boiler the size of this room and the sheets of steel this thick, or maybe this thick, going up like this around the outside and then along the top a seam with one rivet every two feet or two rivets every foot or maybe three rivets every so much space. Rivet around the edges like this to seal in the uh… pressure inside.
And Erickson, being curious, said there is something over there to learn, so he went across the street and even as he crossed the street the noise was louder and he got to the boiler factory and he went inside the boiler factory. When he got inside, he said the noise was horrendous. I mean people were going back and forth riveting the rivets, you know, along the thing and the plates of steel. And the men taking the steel off of… And, he saw all these workers going back and forth. And, they were communicating clearly to each other, but he couldn’t hear them… inside the boiler factory. So, he got curious about that. And, he said, I think there is something to learn here. So, he stopped one of the workers and he said, “Can you get me the boss? I want you to ask the boss to come outside. I need to have a conversation with the boss.”
So the boss came outside and Erickson said, “I am a student and I am interested in learning how to learn and I would like to sleep here for the evening.” And, the boss said, OK. So Erickson went home and got his pillow and his blanket… went back to the boiler factory. And, he said when he got inside once again the noise was horrendous, it was like, the riveting going on, steel coming out, and he said he found, after a while, a very quiet place over in the corner and he laid out his pillow and his blanket. But even so… I mean he was out of the way of the workers, but even so, the noise was horrendous… And, he said around about midnight he managed to take all the noise and put it out of his mind and then he fell asleep.
12.13 Metaphor Analysis
What does this metaphor talk about and what does it do? Here, Milton Erickson, as he walks down the street, sees something across the street and he moves closer to it. What does that do structurally? Structurally, he dissociates. He goes across the street and walks up and goes, “Now this is interesting.” So we zoom in. Not only does it zoom us in, but when he goes inside does he associate or dissociate? He associates when he goes inside. Now, what does he hear over there? He dissociates. What does he hear? Noise comes from the boiler factory. This provides for an internal auditory tonal. So, he hears noise coming from the boiler factory.
Now, he walks across the street, looks up, sees the sign and goes inside. When he gets inside, what happens? So much noise comes from inside he cannot think. The metaphor provides a direct correspondence or isomorphic relationship to what goes on inside people’s heads sometimes. By my gesturing (moving arms around), I make this training room the boiler factory. Thus we take everyone and close them inside this room, that is, the boiler factory. We take rivets and put them down the side to make sure that each person trances inside this particular space (the training room). Thus, this metaphor sets up the room as an enclosed learning space and a safe place for people to be.
So Erickson goes inside the boiler factory. He looks around and what goes on? People communicate inside but he can’t hear them. What is that? Unaware of his unconscious mind, so he says, “Gee, I think there is something to learn here.” Again, we have a direct correspondence to what goes on inside this class. What does he say? Since he has found something to learn here, he has decided the importance of communicating with the unconscious mind so he says, “Can you get me the boss? I want you to ask the boss to come outside.” And, the boss came outside. And, Erickson said that he would like to sleep in the boiler factory for the evening. So, he goes home, gets his pillow and blanket, finds a quite place in the corner and falls asleep. That implies a trance, right? Now, what does he do just before he falls asleep? He says he managed to take all the noise and put it out of his mind. We use a visual anchor by taking our hands, boxing up all the noise and placing it outside. Thus, this seemingly innocent metaphor has within its structure much about setting up a classroom (or a client) for learning. And, I bet it has even more to do with… your unconscious mind knows what else it has to do with, doesn’t it? This provides an excellent metaphor for installing a learning state. I (BB) learned it from Tad James.
12.14 Constructing A Metaphor
The major purpose of a metaphor is to pace and lead a client’s behavior through a story. In constructing your metaphor, keep in mind the following:
Displace the referential index from the client to some character in the story.
Pace the client’s problem by establishing behaviors and events between the characters in the story that are similar to those in the client’s situation.
Finish the story such that a sequence of events occurs in which the characters in the story resolve the conflict and achieve the desired outcome.
12.15 The Mother Of All NLP
I learned from John Overdurf the “Mother of all NLP” model and have found it most useful both in doing therapy and in teaching NLP. In analyzing the patterns of NLP, you will find that the patterns walk the client through the steps of this model. It also provides a super framework for building your metaphor.
Associate the Client to the Problem.
Dissociate the Client from the Problem.
Discover Client Resources and Associate Client to their Resources.
Associate Resources to Problem.
Future Pace Resources.
12.16 The Basic Steps In Generating A Metaphor
Identify the sequence of behaviors and/or events in question. This could range from a conflict between internal parts, to a physical illness, to problematic inter-relationships between the client and parents, a boss or a spouse.
Identify the desired new outcomes and choices. In NLP we communicate with an outcome in mind. Metaphors provide a rather unique way of doing this. Hold in your mind a visual construct of your outcome and let that outcome drive your unconscious mind in generating a metaphor for the client.
Displace the referential indices. Map over all nouns (objects and elements) to establish the characters in the story. The characters may consist of anything, animate or inanimate, from rocks to forest creatures to cowboys to books, etc. What you choose as characters has no importance so long as you preserve the character relationship. Very often you may want to use characters from well known fairy tales and myths.
Establish an isomorphism between the client’s situation and behavior, and the situation and behaviors of the characters in the story—map over all verbs (relations and interactions). Assign behavioral traits, such as strategies and representational characteristics, which parallel those in the client’s present situation (that is, pace the client’s situation with the story).
Access and establish new resources in terms of the characters and events in the story. You can do this within the framework of a reframing of the re-accessing of forgotten resources. You may choose to keep the actual content of the resource ambiguous allowing the client’s unconscious processes to choose the appropriate one.
Use ambiguities and direct quotes to break up sequences in the story should you detect resistance to the story. Conscious understanding does not, of course, necessarily interfere with the metaphoric process.
Keep your resolution as ambiguous as necessary to allow the client’s unconscious processes to make the appropriate changes.
Provide a future pace if possible.
12.17 Metaphor Exercises
12.17.0.69 I. Building Associations
The basis of therapeutic metaphors lies in similarity. The person(s), object(s) and/or things in the metaphor exist as structurally similar (isomorphic) to the client’s model of the world. The similarity rests in the items themselves, in the relationships between those items and other items, in the presuppositions behind the items or in the effect those items have on the client. The following exercise attempts to channel your thinking to that of isomorphic thinking. This type thinking obviously provides the basic essentials in metaphor construction.
Divide into triads.
“A” plays the therapist. “B” plays the client. And “C” plays the role of the meta-person.
“B” thinks of a category such as an actor, politician, sports figure or some other famous person.
“A” asks clue questions like: “If “B” became a part of nature, what would “B” become?” Or, “If “B” became a car, what kind, color, etc, would “B” become?” “If “B” became a piece of furniture, what piece would “B” become?” Some of the questions may not produce helpful clues. Some may produce great ones. For example, if the politician were Jerry Ford, the car question would elicit a great response. If he were George Bush, the nature question would give it away.
“C” assists “A” in asking questions.
Do a round robin.
The purpose of this exercise encourages “B” to give short metaphors to help “A” and “C” guess correctly, for “A” and “C” to try to find similarities, and for everyone to learn to think associatively or isomorphically.
12.17.0.70 II. Likeness
Divide into triads.
“A” makes a very general statement (large chunk) such as: “Seminars are like _______________” (or “Life/Marriage/Church/School is like ______________).
“B” spontaneously and quickly fills in the blank with something very specific (small chunk) such as “a river”. (A bathtub, a banquet, a woman, a man, a party, etc.) So the statement now reads: “Seminars are like a river.”
“A” now declares the first similarity that pops into their head, no matter how foolish or bizarre it may sound. “They just go on and on,” or “Sometimes they get mighty deep,” or “Sometimes the waters get muddy,” or “Some of them are pretty fishy.”
Do a round robin.
12.17.0.71 III. Therapeutic Metaphor
“A” shares (or role plays) a problem with “B” and “C” but does not discuss a solution. “A” takes 5 minutes to develop the story (or problem) they will tell. If you choose a role-play, make sure you have your story well rehearsed and that you tell it congruently, complete with non-verbal signals.
After listening to the story, “B” and “C” take 15 minutes to develop a therapeutic metaphor guessing at an adequate and reasonable solution. During this time, each “A” will go to a different group, and sit in on the development of the metaphor by a different “B” and “C.” “A” has freedom to make any suggestions that provides assistance. “B” and “C” make careful ecological checks, deleting any potentially unpleasant material or any possible misunderstanding their client (“A”) might make.
In 15 minutes, “A” returns to their original group. The “B” in each group delivers the metaphor using “A’s” preferred language patterns, vocal patterns, gestures, analogic markings, etc. The outcome of the exercise paces the present state and leads to the desired outcome.
As “B” delivers the metaphor, “C” watches for “A’s” non-verbal signs of responding to “B’s” metaphor. “C” pays particular attention to “A’s” non-verbal shifts indicating unconscious agreement, understanding, (or non-agreement/misunderstanding).
All parties debrief by sharing information about the exercise. “A” shares internal state changes that occurred while hearing the metaphor. “A” shares which parts of the metaphor were most and least effective. “B” shares their observations while delivering the metaphor. “C” shares all meta-observations.
12.18 4. Do a round robin.
12.19 Thought Questions To Assist Your Learning:
How does “story” or metaphor operate as a “hypnotic” language pattern?
Define a metaphor.
Name the three major components of a metaphor.
Explain how and why we say that all language operates metaphorically.
In metaphoric designing and use, why does isomorphism play such a crucial role?
What does it mean to pace and lead in the context of communicating a metaphor?
12.19.0.72 Notes – Chapter 11
14 Gordon, Therapeutic Metaphors (Cupertino: Meta Publications, 1978), p. 42.
15 Robert Dilts, Roots of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (Cupertino: Meta Publications), p. 77.
16 See David Gordon, Ibid., p. 53.
13
Satir Categories
Adding Variety To Your Communication
13.1 What you can expect to learn in this chapter:
The five categories of communication developed by Satir
How to use the categories for recognizing patterns
Until she died in 1980, Vi
rginia Satir served as one of the world’s foremost family therapists. She wrote and lectured extensively throughout her career. Today she has disciples in many disciplines, in many countries who use her techniques to heal dysfunctional families. She was an excellent choice for Richard Bandler and John Grinder to model in their initial development of NLP.
The User's Manual for the Brain Volume I Page 29