Runner

by Lexi Reign

  "See, you did it," I said to her as I wrapped my arms around her. She was happy and it made me happy to see her smiling.

  "I love you, CJ," she said looking up at me. I stared down at her and I couldn't help myself. I kissed her lips and she kissed me back. We pressed our foreheads against each other.

  "Nia, we can't do this," I said to her as we both just stared at each other. My heart was racing.

  "I know," she said as I kissed her again.

  "I'm sorry," I said to her. She gripped my face and I deepened the kiss.

  "I love you, too," I said to her as she stared up at me. I quickly pulled away and sat on the couch.

  "I'm thinking about moving," I said to her.

  "Where and why," she asked.

  "I don't know. Maybe Virginia. I got some cousins out there, so that could help me" I said.

  "Why," she asked, looking sad.

  "Nia, we both know how we feel. I truly do love you and I know you and Lo can't go forward with me being here. I want you both to be happy" I said honestly.

  "What about your happiness, CJ," she asked.

  "I am happy already. I'm good. You don't have to worry about me. Plus, Lo already said that he won't ever get over what we had. And I know that. So I want to make it easier on y'all" I said honestly as tears ran down her face.

  "I'm sorry," I said to her. She nodded.

  "I'm sorry for doing this to you. I wish I would've never got so drunk and came between y'all" Nia said.

  "Don't go beating yourself up. It's not your fault. We both had a part in it. I'm low key glad you did it. The way I feel about you now, if I could, I would probably do it again" I said to her as she bit her lip. I smiled at her.

  "We all have done things to hurt each other, but I want you to have a clean start. Live your life and be happy. Stop letting your past haunt you and just let it go. Raise my niece and teach her from your mistakes and from your pain. Give her everything you didn't have" I said to her as she nodded.

  Nia's POV:

  "Here you go, mommy. You have 9lb 12 oz healthy baby girl" the nurse said as she brought me, my baby girl. I stared down at her and nothing but tears filled my eyes.

  "Hey, girl, I'm your mommy" I cooed. She smirked and latched onto my finger.

  "What are you going to name her," she asked.

  "Lori Milan Payne," I said to her.

  "Beautiful name," she said smiling as I signed the birth certificate. She tried to hand CJ the birth certificate, but he jumped back. I laughed.

  "No, he's not the father. He's the uncle" I said.

  "Where's the father," she asked.

  "He's in ICU. In a coma" I said sighing.

  "Well, you are a good uncle. The way you helped her through birth, I just knew you were the father" she said laughing.

  "So, you have 60 days after the child's birth to turn in the birth certificate. I will put this up in your files just in case he wakes up. It would be kind of a hassle and a lot of waiting to have his name added. But you could have him added if you wanted me to go ahead and turn this in" she said.

  "But you're going to need it for her first checkup" the nurse added. I sighed.

  "Well, I guess I'll go ahead and turn it in. He could always add his name" I said as she walked out.

  "Damn, she looks just like Lo," CJ said smiling.

  "Look at Uncle CJ. Say hey" I cooed at her.

  "She's beautiful," CJ said smiling.

  "Can I hold her?" he asked. I nodded.

  "CJ, have you held a baby before," I asked.

  "Nah," he said.

  "Hold your arms like this," I said as I showed him how.

  "Now, put her head right there. And hold her head up" I said to him as he did so.

  "Damn, she's so light," he said smiling.

  "I know. She's almost 10lbs" I said. CJ laughed.

  "That's why she killed you coming out. All them damn greens and cornbread your fat ass has been eating" he said making me laugh.

  "Shut up, boy. Don't be cussing at me in front of my baby" I said as he cooed at her.

  "I ain't gonna be fat for too much longer," I said.

  "Nah, and then you're going to have nothing but a big head," he said, cutting his eyes at me. He laughed.

  "I'm just joking," he said as we heard a knock on the door.

  Vera, Jackie, Turner, Larenz, Lauryn, Maurice, Terry, Vedo, and Olivia, all walked in with balloons, bears, and gift baskets. It kind of hurt me to not see my mom or Naomi, but I let it go.

  "HEY, CONGRATULATIONS," they all said. I smiled.

  "My time to go," he said, trying to not make eye contact with Lauryn. I shook my head at him. He handed me, Lori.

  "You good before I head out? You need something?” he asked. I shook my head no.

  "I'm good," I said as he slowly walked out. It kind of hurt me for him to leave, but I'll be fine. I sighed. Everyone hugged me and cooed at Lori.

  "Oh my goodness, she's beautiful," Jackie said. I forced a smile.

  "Nia, I'm sorry I've always caused you trouble, but like I've been trying to show you, I'm going to be better," Jackie added, smiling at me. I nodded.

  "I wanted to come back here with you while you were pushing, but they wouldn't let me," she said.

  "Yeah, CJ was with me, though," I said.

  "Thank God for CJ," Vera said.

  "I never thought I'd hear anyone say that," Jackie said laughing. It kind of offended me but I sucked it up. I don't know why people always try to play him like he's stupid or something. He's smart as hell and very wise.

  I let them all play with my baby and pass her around.

  "How you feeling," Lauryn asked.

  "A little sore, but I'm ok. I just really miss Lorenzo" I said.

  "I couldn't tell," she mumbled lowly.

  "Excuse you," I asked.

  "I was just saying. It's no big deal" she said as I felt Vera staring at me.

  "Everybody clear the room. I need to talk to Nia in private" she said as everyone started to walk out.

  "Wait," Vera said to Lauryn as everyone else walked out.

  "What you just say to her," Vera asked.

  "Auntie Vera come on now. I'm tired of you trying to come at me. I'm a grown woman and I am entitled to have my own opinion" Lauryn said to her.

  "Girl, I will break you down and snap you in half. Don't you dare talk to me like that" Vera spat at her.

  "I said I couldn't tell that she missed Lorenzo while she's in here playing house with Calvin" Lauryn spat while looking at me.

  "I sense jealousy," Vera said.

  "Please. Nobody's jealous of her" Lauryn said.

  I just sat there looking at her. I really don't care about how she feels. CJ really tried to get back with her, but she continuously pushed him away. Then she gave in to let him have sex with her, then pushed him away again.

  "Yes, you are. Regardless of what has happened between her and Calvin, he's been here for her. And knowing him, I'm sure he did it because of Lorenzo. Regardless of how everyone is trying to make it seem, I know Calvin and I know Nia. And I know you" Vera said looking at Lauryn.

  "Let it go," she said to Lauryn as she stormed out.

  "Are you ok?" Vera asked me. I nodded.

  "Honey, the man you love is fighting for his life, right now and you just gave birth with the help of the other guy you love, which happens to be your baby father's best friend," Vera said. Even as it came out of her mouth, it sounded worse than I thought. I felt tears running down my face.

  "It's ok," she said, rubbing my back.

  "Give me her," she said as she placed Lori in her incubator.

  "Listen to me, I see that look you and CJ have with each other. Trust me, I'm sure being with him every day for the last 4 months has increased both of you all's feelings for each other. A woman is always most vulnerable when pregnant and she remembers everything. You will never forget the love and goodness CJ has shown you while you were pregnant. It won't go away" she said.

&n
bsp; "I love my nephew, but you have to make up your mind. I know you probably think you can't be with CJ, but this has been in the middle of you all's relationship for months. You love him, and there's nothing me, you, Lauryn, Lo, or CJ can even do about it" she said.

  "You have to figure this out," she said.

  "I kind of already have. CJ is moving soon. He said he can't be around us anymore" I said. She chuckled.

  "Lord have mercy. Well, if that's what he wants, then ok. But what about you? CJ can leave all day, but when you are with Lo, how will you feel" Vera asked.

  "I don't know. I miss Lo and it truly feels like he has been dead for months. He hasn't been here. I've been through so much over the past few months and CJ has been there. And I hate to say this, but CJ has been doing a damn good job. Better than Lorenzo has ever done with our baby" I said.

  "But that's the thing, it's you and Lorenzo's baby. You have to give Lorenzo a chance to even try to be a good daddy. Trust me, you know how Lorenzo is. He's very loving, affectionate, and patient when he doesn't have the weight of the world on his shoulders. And I know that caused his accident" she said as I saw tears in her eyes.

  "What if he never wakes up," I asked.

  "Baby, we can't think like that. We just have to take it one day at a time. He can never stay away from you for long" she said smiling as she hugged me. I squeezed her tightly.

  "Thank you," I said.

  "No, you're welcome. I've been here for you and I will continue to do so, just follow your heart" she said to me as she kissed Lori's cheek and walked out. I sighed and got comfortable. I'm beyond tired. I closed my eyes and let sleep take over.

  Chapter 41: New Life

  Nia's POV

  August 15th

  12:30 pm

  ||| 2 Months Later |||

  I'm currently sitting in the closet on the floor. Lori has finally taken a nap. I'm scared to even move because she might wake up. Her little butt has been giving me hell with all this nonstop crying. This new life has been hard.

  "Nia, where th-" Vedo started to say as he walked in.

  "SHHH," I said quickly, but Lori started crying.

  "Got dammit, Vedo," I said as I got up.

  "Girl, what the hell are you doing in the closet," he asked.

  "I was looking for my clothes, but I finally had put her to sleep and didn't want to wake her. She won't stop crying" I said as I picked her up. I rocked her and she immediately stopped crying.

  "I told you to stop holding her so much. You've spoiled her. You have to put her down and let her cry sometimes. As long as she's fed, changed, and not sick, she's fine. She can cry" he said, shrugging. I looked at him in disbelief.

  "What baby have you had," I asked as he laughed.

  "My grandma used to babysit all the neighborhood kids and I would sometimes help her when I saw she was tired. Let me get her" he said.

  "Where you headed," I asked.

  "To work," he said.

  "Work," I asked.

  "Yeah, Nia. I got a job. I told you this shit like a month ago" he said chuckling.

  "I'm sorry. I don't even know if I'm coming or going" I said to him.

  "I'm proud of you, though," I said to him. He smiled. I am very much proud that he has left the streets alone. He doesn't slang no more and I'm happy.

  "You have to give mommy a break" he cooed at Lori. She giggled at him. I sighed.

  "You need to go wake Naomi up," he said to me. I rolled my eyes.

  "I'm sick of her, Vedo. All she does is have a funky-ass attitude and get mad when I tell her to do something. I can't pay these bills on my own. I have to get a job, too" I said to him.

  "You can't go back to your accounting job," he asked.

  "No, but I'm going to apply for some in the area. I have to do this if I want to provide for Lori" I said to him.

  "Well, I got you. I'll help you out as much as I can" he said.

  "If I get a job, Naomi is going to be my babysitter," I said to him.

  "Hell, that's fair. You've been giving her a break for months. I agree" he said shrugging as Lori just stared up at him.

  "I miss Lorenzo so much," I whined.

  "He's gonna be up soon. Trust me" Vedo said as he handed me, Lori. I kissed her cheek and he walked downstairs.

  "I'll see you later," he said as I heard the front door shut.

  I walked down the hall towards Naomi's run. She was knocked out.

  "WAKE UP, NAOMI," I said yelling.

  "Damn, Nia, why are you yelling," she asked.

  "Because I need you to babysit, so get up," I said.

  "Babysit? I don't want to babysit Lori. She doesn't like me" she said.

  "Well, I wouldn't like you either if I never saw you, and you only come out at night," I said to her. She smacked her lips.

  "Where are you going," she asked.

  "A job interview," I said, lying.

  I need a damn break. Being a mom is killing me and I don't want to really ask Vera or Jackie for help. I got this, I just need at least 20 minutes of quiet time.

  "Ok, fine. And you are grown, so you have to help me with these bills. Either you get a job, or be my babysitter. Your choice" I said.

  "Are you going to pay me?" she asked, rolling her neck.

  "No, not at first. You show me that you can do this and maybe I'll think about it. I've been letting your ass slide for too long" I said to her as she reached for Lori. Lori cried, but Naomi rocked her, and she eventually stopped.

  "Take care of my baby. Her bottles are in the fridge. Heat them up for like 30 seconds and she just ate at 11:30. So every two hours" I said to her.

  "I got it, Nia," she said as she shooed me out.

  "Me and you are about to go to sleep. Are you going to sleep for TT Nae" I heard her cooing to Lori. I laughed because Lori is about to give her ass hell.

  I walked to my room and slid on my jean shorts and a tank top with my gold flip flops. I put my hair in a bun and ran downstairs. I walked into the basement to make sure Lorenzo's hidden security cams were on.

  "I'LL BE BACK" I yelled to Naomi as I hopped in Lorenzo's Challenger. I swear I've made his car mines over the last few months. It still smells like him. God, I miss my man so much.

  I sped off down the highway. I sighed deeply because I'm so tired. I know Lorenzo would be so proud of me. I'm trying my hardest to keep my head above water, but this is killing me. I'm so tired of being strong. I just want to lay up with him and have him tell me that he got me.

  I pulled into the mall's parking lot and parked. The wind was blowing heavily today and it was such a pretty day. I cracked the windows down and just enjoyed the breeze as I scrolled on my phone looking for a job.

  BUZZZ BUZZZ BUZZZ

  I looked down at my ringing phone to see the hospital calling me. I instantly got excited.

  "Hello," I asked into the phone.

  "Is this Nia?" Dr. Spain asked.

  "Yes, it is. How are you Dr. Spain" I asked.

  "I'm good, but I have good news for you. Lorenzo is awake. We haven't really said too much to him and he hasn't asked any questions. We're kind of waiting on you to get here" he said.

  "Oh my Lord. Thank you, Jesus. I'm on my way" I said as I quickly sped off back home to get Lori.

  I quickly texted Naomi letting her know that I was on the way to get Lori. I texted Vera, Jackie, Vedo, and CJ to let them know.

  I pulled up in my yard and Naomi was waiting for me outside.

  "Girl, why in the hell are y'all waiting for me out here," I asked.

  "Little miss cranky pants didn't want me to lay down, so we've been chilling out here the entire time," she said as she handed me, Lori.

  "Thanks," I said as I quickly strapped Naomi in.

  "So, is Lo coming home today," she asked.

  "Hopefully. I'll be back" I said to her as I sped off down the highway.

  I gave it all for a fantasy

  Is anybody gon' remember me?

  If I go tonight, I doub
t the world would change

  I just pray they don't forget my name

  Is it game rules? I can't lose

  When it's all said and done, will I still be cool?