The Lonely Lady

by Michelle Sutton

  Her doctor cleared his throat. "I need to finish my rounds. Do you need me for anything else right now?

  "No, but thanks for asking," Josiah answered, still clinging to Tara.

  She sighed with contentment. He wanted to be her husband regardless of their sudden loss. Even with their inability to have sex after the ceremony. Her heart had never felt fuller, despite their recent tragedy.

  Her doctor said, "I'll discharge you in the morning. You'll be free to go once we are assured no infection will set in."

  Tara glanced over Josiah's shoulder at her doctor and smiled. "Thanks for everything."

  He nodded and stepped out of the room.

  She was surprising herself with her positive attitude. Yes, the loss was devastating, but since she was assured of Josiah's love, she felt like she could weather any storm. Glancing up at the ceiling, she mouthed, "Thank you, Lord."

  *****

  The next week was difficult for Tara as she suffered from several crying spells. Her body was still adjusting to the loss of the little person growing inside of her. Her heart ached more than it had when she'd thought her mother was going to die. The private memorial service they recently had at home, just the two of them, had helped her to cope better with the loss. The fact that Josiah was always willing to hold her when she just needed to cry had made it that much lighter of a burden. He was the most amazing man she'd ever known and she was glad he'd chosen her to be his bride.

  The incessant bleeding had finally stopped a few days ago. She wasn't sure what that meant in regards to her regular cycle, but she supposed she would have her period again sometime after they were married. It would be her signal that things were returning to normal again, at least in her body. That way she would know her body had recovered enough that she could make love to her husband without fear or risk.

  She had thought about using birth control, but Josiah said he didn't want to use it. He'd told her if God intended for them to get pregnant again, it would happen. She loved how strong his faith was in regards to the sovereignty of God. If only her faith were that strong. Maybe being his wife would help. He had started a Bible study with her for just the two of them. Tonight would be their third meeting as they'd agreed to meet twice a week. Her mom usually sat in the room with them and just listened. Things were looking up.

  Someone knocked on the door. She peeked through the blinds and found Josiah standing outside as anticipated. She would never complain about their Bible studies together. She treasured them too much. If it hadn't been for the miscarriage, she wondered if they would have ever started their regular meetings. Now it was his precious gift to her every time they met.

  "Come on in, stranger." Tara stood on tiptoes and planted a solid kiss on his lips.

  "Hmmmm..."

  He kissed her back with such passion she couldn't wait for the healing process to be over with. Just a few weeks after their wedding they could be one in the eyes of the Lord, and their marriage bed would be pure and blessed. We only have to wait a little while longer.

  She squeezed him tight and released him. "Did you have a good day at work?"

  "The usual." He grinned. "Can I have another one of those?"

  Joy bubbled in her chest. "You mean one of these?"

  She kissed him with such tenderness and longing that it was sure to turn him on. Pressing a little closer, she could feel that her sensual kiss had done the trick. Was it cruel to get him excited for nothing? Suddenly, her behavior grieved her and she turned her face away, trying to rein in her stricken thoughts.

  "Why'd you stop? That was yummy." The lazy smile he wore confirmed his pleasure. She loved that smoldering sexy look in his eyes.

  "I just... I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking about how hard it would be for you if I get you all excited for... well, for nothing."

  He blinked. "You're sorry?"

  "Because we can't do anything yet. It makes me feel good to know you want me like this, but then I thought about how you can't... you know... Now I feel bad."

  He stuffed his hands in his front pockets and pushed them out, hiding his excitement. "I'll be fine. We're supposed to wait until after the wedding anyway, right?"

  "Yeah, but once we can finally do things and it won't be wrong, we still have to wait. How are we going to enjoy our honeymoon when we can't do anything yet?"

  Josiah frowned. "If you think I'm only marrying you to do it with you, you have a wrong understanding of how much I love you." He touched her chin. "You know that, right?"

  She nodded, but averted her gaze. "I guess so."

  "Hey." He tipped her chin up and searched her eyes. "I want you just for you, Tara, not for what you can do to make me feel good. We've got plenty of time for that later. I'm just going to enjoy getting to know you now. I mean, look at how much good has come out of this all ready?"

  She glanced at the Bible on the table and had to concede that he had a point.

  He offered a wicked grin. "Besides, I'm sure we can think of something else to satisfy each other. It's all good, right?"

  A tiny tremor shot through her and she nodded. He was right. Their marriage bed would be blessed.

  "I'm glad you're starting to see things my way. Now let's begin our study. Is your mom going to join us again?"

  Tara shook her head. "Not tonight. Mom has a bad headache. She crashed."

  Josiah eased onto the floor and pulled Tara into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder as he opened God's word on her lap and began to read. Peace washed over her as she listened to the low vibration of his voice, and the steady rhythm of his words.

  Was it possible to be any happier than she felt at that moment? Something deep inside told her that good things were just beginning for them.

  Chapter Twenty

  Josiah was walking home from Tara's house in the early evening when he saw an old Track and Field teammate from high school, Dakota, who was passing through the alley behind the hair salon where Tara worked. For some reason he fidgeted, like he was nervous when Josiah approached him. Then he remembered that Dakota had kissed Tara.

  He'd bet anything Dakota didn't know that she'd told him about it. Did Dakota feel guilty? If not, Josiah was tempted to smack an apology out of him. But if Dakota didn't know Tara had told him, why would he look nervous unless there was more to the story?

  "What's up, Kota." He reached for his old classmate's hand and knuckle punched his fist.

  The guy seemed to relax at the friendly greeting. "Not much, Joe. How's Tara doing? I'd heard about her... situation. I'm sorry to hear that."

  Josiah stiffened and a prickly sensation ruffled him. "What did you hear?"

  "My aunt told me she started bleeding heavy and she went to the hospital."

  "Your aunt? You mean Tara's boss is your aunt?"

  "Yep, and she figured out Tara was pregnant, even though Tara never told her anything."

  Josiah tipped his head down and scuffed his shoe on the floor. "She was. But we miscarried. I'm just glad she's okay."

  "We miscarried? You mean it was your baby?" Dakota slapped Josiah's arm. "Dude, I didn't know you'd do something like that. I heard you were all holy now and stuff like that."

  He swallowed hard and said with a scowl, "I'm not perfect." Then he realized what Dakota had implied and his head snapped up, "What did you mean by it was your baby? Whose else would it be?"

  Dakota shrugged. "I dunno. I mean, she figured I'd probably told you about our little incident, right?"

  Just what was this idiot implying? "Yes, she did. What about it?"

  "We didn't do anything except kiss, if that's what you're wondering."

  Josiah scowled. "No, I wasn't wondering that. She has always been faithful to me."

  "You sure 'bout that? She did kiss me first, you know..."

  Dakota's brows raised and suddenly Josiah had the urge to smash his face in. Josiah grabbed his former friend's shoulders and shook him. "Shut up, you jerk. I know her and she's not like that. Yeah, she told me she k
issed you, but that was after you lied to her. You just wish she'd give you a chance, but she won't."

  There was something else annoyingly familiar about Dakota and after a few seconds passed, he realized what it was. He wore the same shirt as the guy Josiah tackled to the ground the night someone had stolen from the salon. It was the guy whose mask he'd tried to rip from his face. The guy who nailed him in the forehead and knocked him out.

  "It was you." Josiah didn't resist the urge to punch Dakota this time, but he let Dakota have it in the jaw.

  "What the--" Dakota grabbed his jaw and massaged it, then stepped back and swore. "What did I do to you?"

  "You're the ass who nailed me in the head with the rolled coins and knocked me out."

  Dakota's eyes grew wide. At that moment Josiah realized with certainty that he was right.

  "So what if I did? You can't prove it."

  He shoved Dakota. Hard. "Tara could've lost her job because of you. What kind of scumbag steals from his own family, anyway? I should tell Frieda about this."

  Dakota whipped a knife from his back pocket, and before Josiah could react, the sharp blade pressed against his throat. Fear shot through him like liquid fire, and suddenly he wished he hadn't pushed so hard.

  He stood very still and said in a whisper, "I'm sorry, man. I won't tell a soul. Just put the knife back in your pocket and walk away. We'll keep this just between us, I promise."

  "You're lying. I should slice your throat right now."

  All he could think about was how devastated Tara would be if she lost him, too. How stupid could he be to challenge a hardened criminal like that? Then again, he didn't realize Dakota would get violent. Though he'd been a pothead as well as an athlete back in high school, he'd seemed like a decent guy.

  "Please. Don't. If you let me go, I won't tell a soul, and I'll even give you everything I have in my wallet."

  Dakota loosened his grip a tad. "Yeah? How much you got in there?"

  "A little over a hundred bucks."

  "You always were filthy rich." Dakota cursed. "That's the only reason Tara gives you the time of day, you know. She needs the money."

  He knew that wasn't true, but wasn't going to argue with him and tick him off any further. He whispered as loud as he could without moving his head, "Do you want the cash, or not?"

  Dakota hesitated just long enough to give Josiah the upper hand. He rammed his elbow into Dakota's stomach and slipped out of the headlock. Before Dakota had the chance to catch his breath, Josiah had him pinned to the sidewalk and had knocked the knife free. It bounced on the ground and landed about five feet from them. Too bad he couldn't hold him down and call 911 at the same time. Several drops of blood slipped down his neck and fell on Dakota's face like tears. Thank God it felt like it was only a surface cut.

  The idiot beneath him put up a good fight, and he had to admire him for that. He bucked and kicked his legs, but Josiah had a firm hold on him. Finally Josiah saw a young man on a bicycle riding down the sidewalk. "Call 911. It's an emergency."

  Dakota started fighting harder again and Josiah finally punched him to settle him down. The blood now seeping from Dakota's nose reminded him of the night Tara had slapped him. When she thought that he'd told everyone in the locker room that she was good in bed. Thanks to Dakota, she'd believed him for a moment and they'd had their first real fight. God help him, but he prayed they'd never fight like that again.

  Sirens wailing in the early evening told him the police were on their way. Just a few more minutes and they would arrest this scumbag and take him off Josiah's hands.

  Dakota cursed and renewed his struggle. Minutes later the police were updated on what had happened and cuffed his former classmate before hauling him to the squad car.

  Frieda quickly exited the salon and glanced over at the commotion. "Dakota?"

  She approached, wide-eyed, but something in her tone told Josiah she had been through this with her nephew at least once before.

  Dakota turned his face away as the officer started the engine and began pulling away from the curb. Frieda frowned at Josiah. "What's going on?"

  So he started at the beginning and filled Frieda in on every detail from the time they first became aware of the salon being burglarized to the present. She listened and inserted an occasional gasp in all the logical places, but by the time he finished his story, she was in tears.

  "I had so much hope for that boy, but he's ended up just like his father. It's a shame."

  Josiah couldn't argue there. "So how do you want to handle the deception on our end?"

  "I'll have to think about it, but I'm not inclined to do anything. While I admire that you tried to fix it, you should have notified me after the first attempt."

  "Tara wanted to tell you, but we were worried she could lose her job. We handled it all wrong. I apologize for both of us."

  "Apology accepted."

  "Good, since I didn't tell you then, but I'm telling you now, that helps?"

  "I suppose I'll let it go. Tara has all ready suffered plenty from the miscarriage. I hate to add to her grief. She's an excellent hair stylist."

  "I agree. She's had a rough life these past five years."

  "Indeed she has. When I see her tomorrow, I'll let her know that I'm aware of the situation and her job is safe with me. That should take care of everything."

  "I really appreciate that, Frieda. If you ever need anything..."

  "I know where to find you." The older woman winked and then turned and headed toward her car, her shoulders slumped. He felt bad for her.

  Josiah's shoulders sagged in relief. That was a close call, but he was thankful that he was able to get the truth out there. Now he just needed to tell Tara.

  As he turned to head back to Tara's house, he reflected on how blessed he was now that Tara was back in his life. He never would have guessed back when he'd first become a Christian after graduating from high school that Tara would eventually become a believer, too, and that they'd be getting married in just three days. He could hardly wait.

  *****

  Tara arranged for someone to sit with her mother during the wedding so they could remove her if for some reason her mother couldn't handle it or had a sudden mood change. Nothing was going to ruin her wedding day if she could help it. The fact that her boss knew about the burglary, and that she'd forgiven them for not telling her about it, made the day even better. Her conscience was clean. Today she was convinced that there was no greater feeling.

  God had forgiven her transgressions: past, present, and future. She understood this in a profound way since losing her unborn child. Had she not sinned in the first place, she may not have experienced such heartache. Sin always caused pain. Now she understood that God wanted to protect her from needless heartache, which was why He told people not to do things... like fornicate.

  She didn't believe God had caused the miscarriage, but He did allow it to happen. Rather than question why God allowed it, she chose to accept things and grieve the loss so they could move on with their lives. There would always be a special place in her heart for her first child. That would never change. And there would be other babies in their future... at least she hoped so.

  Josiah had told her he wanted to wear his Tombstone preacher's outfit instead of a tux, and she decided to wear her white spinster costume that she wore when she played the part of the wealthy socialite. The dress was white and frilly anyway, and the dress looked appropriate as a wedding gown, even though it was just a costume. She'd even added a veil over the front of her hat to make it look authentic as a wedding dress.

  Since they were being married in the Cowboy Church, it just seemed to fit. Most of their friends from town also wore their costumes. Even Sammie wore her saloon girl outfit, only she covered it with a heavy shawl so it wasn't immodest. As she glanced around the room waiting to walk down the aisle, she smiled with contentment. She had many good friends. However, Josiah was still her very best friend.

  Since Tara had n
o father to walk her down the aisle, her boss Frieda filled in and acted as both parents. It was an odd arrangement, but worked for their simple ceremony. Josiah had his mother by his side and she was in tears, no doubt wishing her husband could be there to see them married since he was their only living child.

  The entire wedding was emotional for her and passed by in a blur. Tara had to be careful not to fixate on the scar on Josiah's neck where Dakota had broken through the skin with his knife. The idea that Dakota could have killed Josiah a few days before the wedding made her legs tremble. She was so thankful God had rescued him from that situation. And now that Frieda knew everything about what happened and all was out in the open, Tara felt like she could enjoy her wedding. But it was still emotional. Even her mom seemed on the verge of tears.

  And what about after the wedding? She wanted to make love to Josiah so badly now that they were going to be free to do that with God's blessing, but she still had to wait two more weeks. Her only consolation in the matter was that Josiah seemed content to take their time getting to know each other. At least he wasn't feeling insecure about things. So why was she? Did she really think Josiah would love her any less?

  Pondering that thought as the music played, she chanced a gaze into Josiah's eyes and saw that he admired her. His face was soft, warm, and loving. She couldn't help staring back at him. She could get lost in his tender expression and just gaze at him for hours.

  Then the music stopped and their vows began. Josiah was so serious as he said his vows to her and slipped the ring on her finger that she burst into tears. She didn't deserve him. When her turn came to say her vows it took much longer than it should have because she had to force her voice to work through the crying jags. But she was so happy. Just very humbled that he still wanted to be her husband after everything they'd gone through together.

  Distracted by her many thoughts, she almost missed it when their pastor said he could kiss his bride. As Josiah moved her veil and cradled her face, she was lost in his eyes. His kiss was so full of love, and so amazing, she would remember it forever. Her heart was literally singing as they turned to face their small audience and were introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Josiah Reardon.