Forbidden Instinct

by Cassandra Chandler

  Darren nodded. “Before Niall died, he told me to ‘find the nights’. I thought he was talking about a time of day, but now I’m sure he meant the Knights who follow Antares. Like he did, from what Forester said. If we can find them, maybe they can help me.”

  “The Knights of Antares are a legend even among the people who fight fairy tales,” Jack said. “We always thought the fey made them up to try to get us to hesitate before killing vampires and werewolves.”

  “So there might be individuals out there who can control themselves,” Miranda said.

  “Not that I’ve ever encountered—before now.” Jack smiled at Darren. “I don’t know if I can convince my friends to help. But I’m going to try.”

  Miranda felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She let out a sigh, then leaned forward and carefully hugged him. “Thank you.”

  Jack patted her back. “Thank me when it’s done. But in the meantime, you two need to get out of here. If my friends show up and find a werewolf hanging around, they won’t give me a chance to explain what’s going on. Lay low. I’ll call you when I have something.”

  Darren suddenly stiffened, then said, “We have to go.”

  Miranda nodded, then stood. She led them through the kitchen. The side door seemed a better bet than either the front or back exits. It was closest to Darren’s car, at the least.

  Her purse was in a small closet that was on the way. She grabbed it and stuffed Jack’s gun and the box that held the coin inside, then looped the strap over her shoulder. They stepped into the warm night air.

  She looked at the dent on his front bumper and shivered. So much was happening in such a short span of time.

  Darren unlocked the doors and held hers open. She wished she could smile at the gesture, but was too tense.

  There could be werewolf hunters around. People who didn’t know that Darren wasn’t a threat. People he probably actually was a threat to.

  Just because he wouldn’t hurt her, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t hurt other humans. She didn’t deceive herself on that point.

  Darren would fight his urges as much as he could, but if someone threatened her… She didn’t need her powers to know that it wouldn’t end well for them.

  She breathed a little easier when they pulled out of the parking lot, and easier still when they had several blocks between them and the restaurant. She took off her purse and put it in the foot well.

  “That’ll be more useful if you keep it handy,” Darren said.

  “What, the gun? I’m not going to need it.”

  He snorted and shook his head. “I wish I had as much faith in myself as you do.”

  “It’s easier with my abilities.”

  “I suppose so. You should know…” His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “I’m struggling with it. I want to do…things.”

  They were going to do things, all right. She felt her face flush again. With all the adrenaline from the fight and just…everything…her body reacted to her visions of the two of them having sex as if it was happening in that moment.

  “Not those kind of things,” he said. “At least, that’s not what I was talking about just now.”

  “I’m confused.”

  He let out a sigh. “When you have those thoughts, I can smell it.”

  “Oh. Oops.” She rolled down her window, letting in the warm night air.

  He laughed and shook his head. “It isn’t that I mind. It’s actually… There isn’t a strong enough word for how much I like it. But it makes me want to do ‘other’ other things. Honestly, those urges are even harder to control than wanting to tear into people.”

  “Well, we did talk about redirecting your impulses.” She grinned at him.

  Darren was quiet for a moment, his knuckles still white on the wheel. He cleared his throat, then said, “If it ever comes near to that, use the gun.”

  “It won’t.”

  “Have you seen every moment of my future?”

  “No, but—”

  He cut her off. “Redirecting me to kill asshole fairies like that Forester guy is one thing. But I will never force myself on anyone. If that happens, Jack’s right. The Darren you knew will be dead.”

  “It. Won’t. Happen.” She glared at him, even though he was still looking at the road.

  If they were going to get involved, he was going to remain ‘the Darren that she knew’. She was sure of it.

  “I’m just trying to make sense out of this,” he said. “What I’m experiencing and thinking. The feelings I have surrounding you are…”

  “Scary?”

  “Intense.” He sort of half-shrugged. “And yeah. Scary.”

  “So far, I’ve only seen you protect me. That doesn’t seem so bad.”

  “You can’t hear what I’m thinking.” He glanced over at her, his eyes narrowed. “You can’t hear what I’m thinking, right?”

  She laughed. “That’s not among my skill set.”

  Darren let out a huge sigh. “Thank God.”

  He cast another glance at her, but was smiling that time.

  “Where are we going to go?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. I can’t go back to my apartment. I’m sure it’s being watched.”

  “By who?”

  “You heard me talking to Forester about the coins being stolen?”

  She thought back over the last few minutes. Amid all the chaos and terror, she vaguely recalled Darren asking about the coins he’d been transporting.

  “I remember,” she said.

  “My partner and I figured out it was an inside job. What I didn’t know until now is that the president of the company is behind it.”

  “Oh.”

  “She and her right-hand guy are trying to pin this on me.”

  “And they’re working with an elf to do it?” she asked.

  “I guess so.”

  “It won’t end well for them,” Miranda said.

  “I’ll be sure of that.” His voice was a low growl.

  She glanced over at him and saw that his knuckles had turned white again. The wheel was going to shatter if he tightened his grip much more. His brow was lowered over his eyes and a muscle was jumping along his jaw.

  She reached over to touch his cheek and he jerked away from her hand. His expression softened as he gazed at her.

  “Sorry,” he said.

  “It’s okay. It looked like you were heading into a dark place.”

  “I live there now.” He shook his head and scoffed. “Sorry. I guess I’m still adjusting to my new circumstances.”

  “I understand. But it’s not all going to be darkness. There will be moments of joy and…” She had been about to say, “love”, but stopped herself.

  Was that where they were heading? Love?

  It would explain a lot. She couldn’t deny that she felt something toward him. Warmth, tenderness, a connection that was getting stronger the more time she spent with him—the closer on the timeline she came to those visions of them in bed.

  “It must be nice to know the future,” he said.

  “Not really.”

  “What, because you miss out on being surprised?”

  She shook her head, a dull ache spreading through her chest.

  “It’s lonely.”

  He glanced at her briefly, but gave her a moment to gather her thoughts. Which was a good thing, because she hadn’t meant to open that particular can of worms just yet. There were a slew of things they needed to talk about, and this didn’t seem that important.

  Then again, if he understood how lonely her abilities made her—how much of a burden they were—maybe it would be easier for him to forgive her when he found out she had let him be attacked.

  She shivered at the thought of that conversation.

  All of her visions showed them together eventually, so she figured it wouldn’t go too terribly. Then again, maybe to reach that future, she shouldn’t tell him at all.

  He was using her as an ancho
r. If he stopped trusting her, that might be too much for him to handle. It could push him over the edge.

  She shook her head. It wouldn’t come to that. She wouldn’t let it.

  “I didn’t mean to broach an uncomfortable subject,” Darren said.

  “It’s okay. I haven’t talked about this with anyone since my mom died a few years ago. She was the only one I ever talked to about it, actually.”

  “That does sound lonely.”

  “Are you close with your dad?”

  Maybe if he thought about the people he loved who were still mortal, it would help him hold on to his humanity. And she just wanted to know more about him.

  Darren shrugged. “We get together once a week. I wouldn’t necessarily say we’re close, though.”

  “My dad and I were.” Her throat became tight and she coughed to clear it. “I was in elementary school when he died.”

  Darren glanced at her briefly, the most open expression she’d ever seen on his face. It was raw and filled with so much sorrow it made her ache for her own losses.

  This was probably not the best topic.

  She tried to shift the conversation in a more positive direction. “I haven’t been completely alone. Jack has been really supportive. Although, I wish he’d come out and told me he knew about my powers. That would have been nice.” She pulled herself back from her rambling, focusing on something she hoped would make him feel better about her situation. “But I had you and Eden to look forward to every night.”

  He glanced over at her again and opened his mouth as if to say something, then clamped it shut and turned back to the road.

  “What?” she said.

  “Just… You’re saying that your only friends—besides your boss—are two regulars at the restaurant. One of whom is me.”

  Miranda shrugged. “A lot of people don’t socialize much outside of work.”

  “Yeah, people who work with a team. Who see the same people every day and can form some sort of community. Don’t you have anyone else?”

  “The closer I am to people, the easier it is to see their futures. Even an accidental touch can show me things that most people wouldn’t want me to know. And—being the busybody that I am—if I see something I can probably help them with, I don’t sit on it.”

  Unless helping them means the world might end.

  She shook her head, pushing the thought away.

  “It’s really hard to get close to people under those conditions,” she said. “It’s just… It’s easier to be alone.”

  “And you’ve been living like this for years?”

  “I met Eden a couple of months before I met you. Things have been better with you guys to talk to.”

  The energy in the car was getting tense. She didn’t understand why he was fixating on this.

  Forester had said something about werewolves hating to be alone. She wondered if that was part of why rogues were so dangerous. Still, it was her situation, not Darren’s.

  “It’s not so bad.” She forced out a laugh, scrambling to try to lighten the mood. “I have one of those huge teddy bears they sell around Valentine’s day. She gives great hugs.”

  Darren braked suddenly, then pulled the car over and parked next to a sidewalk. Miranda hadn’t been paying much attention to where they were going. It looked like he had been heading toward downtown. He stopped in front of some dark storefronts.

  “What’s wrong?” she said.

  “I need to touch you.”

  Chapter Twelve

  The look on Miranda’s face was about what Darren would expect after his statement. Eyes wide in shock, jaw slightly dropped.

  Before the change, he would have thought he’d pushed too far and she was going to tell him to back off. Now, his senses told him anything but.

  The sweet, rich scent of her arousal floated to him. He wished her window was up so he could saturate himself in it.

  She wanted him. At least physically. Her body’s response made his chest feel full and his body surge with energy.

  It also made his pants way too tight.

  But that wasn’t why he had pulled over. The life she was describing would have made him sad before. Now, it made him ache. His head hurt, his heart pounded painfully in his chest, and his skin crawled with the need to hold her.

  “You’re not alone anymore,” he said.

  He reached over and cupped her cheek, pulling her closer. He didn’t even have to kiss her. He just needed to touch her, to comfort her, to brush his head against hers, push her back in her seat and cover her body with his...

  She unhooked her seatbelt and crawled into his lap.

  Darren groaned as her weight settled across his legs, her thigh pressing against his erection. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer.

  It was awkward as hell, with her legs bent and her feet resting on the cushion of her seat. Straddling him would have been a more comfortable option for both of them. Especially once he unhooked his seatbelt…and his pants.

  Then she kissed him, and he didn’t give a damn how she sat. He just wanted her as close as he could get her.

  Her mouth was warm and soft, her fingers cool as they burrowed through his hair. He slid his hand up along her side, lifting her breast and feeling its soft weight. Her breath hitched as he flicked his thumb across her nipple, and the honey-sweet scent of her intensified.

  His dick was so hard. He needed to bury it in her, needed to feel her clench around him.

  He moved his hand to her thigh, trying to pull her into his lap, but the emergency brake was in the way. She let out a little grunt, shifting her weight. He barely stifled a growl.

  They were wearing too many clothes. And they were too constrictive. He was sure he could tear off her jeans without hurting her. He just needed to get the right angle.

  He broke off the kiss as she struggled to reposition herself. Her hands were planted on his shoulders and she shifted again, exposing the softness of her throat.

  He had never found throats very appealing before. Seeing her baring that skin to him—that vulnerable part of her body—ratcheted him up even higher.

  He leaned forward and nipped at it, grabbing her shirt at her back and crushing her against his chest as he kissed the side of her neck. Her breasts were even softer, and larger than he’d realized. He imagined what they would look like if she rode him while he rocked into her as hard as he could.

  “Darren…”

  He let out a breath, kissing his way down the center of her chest. “I love it when you say my name like that.”

  He kissed her breast through her thin shirt, clamping his mouth over her nipple and sucking until the stiff peak pressed against the damp fabric. Her fingers curled in his hair, pressing him closer.

  They needed to be in a bed. He pressed her back against the steering wheel to get more room to work…and set off the car’s horn.

  They both jumped, then stared breathlessly into each other’s eyes.

  Miranda broke eye contact first. She shifted in his lap and said, “We better go. Someone might call the police.”

  He tightened his grip on her. “I’ll handle them.”

  “Handle them how?”

  He imagined a stranger approaching—then tearing their innards out and throwing them over his car like garlands.

  As appealing as that seemed, it was nothing compared to Miranda’s warm body in his lap. He wouldn’t let anything come between them.

  “However it takes,” he said.

  He leaned in to kiss her again, but she backed away.

  “Darren—”

  He stifled a growl. Barely.

  “Okay, you seem really worked up,” she said.

  He ran one of his hands down her back, cupping her ass and pressing her closer. “I thought we both were.”

  “Well, yes. But I have a feeling I’ll have an easier time calming myself down.”

  “So, you don’t want to…”

  “Oh, I want to. Believe me, I want t
o do all kinds of things with you.” She let out a sigh. “This doesn’t seem like the time or the place, though.”

  Something shifted deep in his guts. Almost painful. He wanted her so much, it actually hurt. His skin started to burn and itch as he pulled his hands away. But she didn’t want him as badly. She couldn’t. No mere human could understand this glorious need.

  What the fuck?

  He closed his eyes and said, “I think you need to get out of the car.”

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “Miranda, I can’t… I need to calm down, and I can’t risk hurting you. I feel like I’m about to burst out of my skin. Given my new circumstances, that’s really alarming.”

  He was taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. He’d managed it before, but he hadn’t been as worked up.

  Well, in a way he had. But then it’d been about fighting and destruction. This had been about forging a connection—a lifeline to his humanity. To Miranda.

  Her lips pressed against his again and he gasped. She nipped along his jaw, then down to his neck where she kissed and licked his skin.

  “What are you doing?” he said.

  “Giving you another outlet.”

  She slid her hand between them, her fingers raking his stomach as she felt for the fastener of his pants. His skin lit up as if her touch was silken fire. She reached into his pants and gripped his shaft.

  An explosive burst of air rushed from his chest. He threw his head back against the headrest, eyes clenched shut. She kept kissing his throat as she moved her hand, squeezing him, pumping him.

  “Miranda…”

  She nipped his ear, then whispered, “You aren’t alone either.”

  Something in him shifted, an energy he couldn’t name. He couldn’t speak at all, couldn’t move. All he could do was feel her touch soaking into him, soul-deep.

  She shifted off his lap, giving her more room to work. It meant she had to stop kissing his neck, but his attention was much lower at the moment. He felt her warm breath on his dick right before her lips closed over him.

  His body convulsed as she increased the speed of her hand and tightened her mouth around him. His hips bucked against her, desperate for more. The seatbelt locked up, holding him in place. She kept up her pace, her head bobbing on his dick as she hungrily took him in.