Forbidden Instinct

by Cassandra Chandler

“I was pretty sure I’d be okay.”

  “Pretty sure?”

  He turned back to the road, his hands clenching the wheel. She heard a metallic clink.

  “Darren, you need to ease up on—”

  His skin had turned gray. A muscle was leaping on his cheek, which was…longer than she remembered. His cheekbones were higher and more prominent.

  “It wasn’t an accident,” he said. “My boss and her goon set it up as a diversion so they could steal those goddamned coins.”

  Her stomach sank. How could they risk people’s lives like that? They had almost killed a family. They had almost killed her. No wonder Darren was freaking out.

  She started to unfasten her seat belt, planning to climb onto his lap if she had to. She was already reaching for him when he shook his head.

  “If I’m going to live with this, I need to learn to control it,” he said.

  He took a few deep breaths, blowing the air out forcefully. His skin gradually turned pink again.

  Miranda laughed. “That was amazing! How did you do that?”

  “I thought of you. The future you say we’re going to have. Getting to spend eternity with you.”

  “Oh.” She tried to laugh it off, to shut down the reaching of her heart toward him. “I didn’t know I was that good at blowjobs.”

  He let out a tiny snort, but shook his head. “Well, first of all, you are. But that’s not what I was thinking about. I wasn’t kidding when I said I loved spending time with you at the restaurant. You’re quirky and fun and make me look at things differently. You care about people enough to put your own life on the line. I was thinking that I get to keep you safe—I need to keep you safe. And losing control wasn’t going to help with that.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. They spilled down her cheeks as she clenched her eyes shut. No one had ever said anything like that to her before.

  She needed to tell him. The truth had a way of getting out. And he deserved to know. The longer she waited, the worse it would be. She just had to time it right.

  “I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he said.

  “I’m sorry.” She wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I just wasn’t expecting that.”

  “What were you expecting?”

  “From what you and Jack have told me about werewolves, I kind of thought your attraction would be more physical. When I asked about fantasies before, I was just thinking of sex.”

  He let out a huge laugh, smiling broadly enough that both dimples showed on his cheeks. “Is that all you ever think about?”

  “It’s all I felt safe letting myself think about.”

  “Wait a minute.” He put on an expression like he was thinking really hard. “So, while you were wrapping silverware and glancing over at me…”

  She started to nod. “I was usually thinking about you bending me over the counter or knocking everything off one of the tables or—”

  He shifted in his seat, his smile fading. “I really wish I had known that sooner.”

  “I couldn’t have told you.”

  “I still don’t get that.”

  “Everybody dies. Everybody. And I can’t… I can’t watch people I care about…”

  He reached across and grabbed her hand, squeezing it tight. His skin was warm.

  “Don’t,” he said. “You don’t need to worry about that with me. I’m stronger now, and… Hell, I can’t believe it, but I guess I’m immortal. And I can control this. For that future with you, I will.”

  “Does that mean you’re feeling better about turning me?”

  “I don’t think better is the right word for how I feel, but I’m going to do it.”

  Forever with Darren. She couldn’t think of a better future. They’d find the Knights, learn how to use their abilities to help people. Heck, with a whole pack of super-powered werewolves to help her with her visions, she could make a real change. Starting with preventing that apocalypse.

  Well, starting after…

  “There’s no way your boss is watching my apartment too, right?” she said.

  “I can’t see why she would.”

  “Then we should go there next.”

  “I don’t know if I’m ready to change you yet. I mean, the full moon is so close, and we haven’t figured out what that will be like and how to keep people safe.”

  “Relax,” she said, casting what she hoped was a sultry smile at him. “That’s not what I’m planning.”

  “Oh.” He laughed. “Damn, that is all you think about.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Awkward barely scratched the surface of how Darren felt following Miranda into her apartment building. What they’d done in the car had been passionate and intense—not really thought out. This… This was purposeful.

  It had been a long time since he’d gone home with anyone.

  The building looked like it was over a hundred years old. The bricks were chipped, the stone worn from rain, and the stairs creaked loudly as they headed to the second floor. Every noise made him wince.

  There were already newspapers laying on some of the welcome mats in front of people’s doors, and the sun had risen before they’d arrived. Darren was afraid one of her neighbors would poke their head out and see him following Miranda with his raging hard-on. There was no point in even trying to hide it anymore. At least it didn’t seem to be bothering her.

  She opened the door to her place and walked inside. “Come on in.”

  He stepped across the threshold, wiping his hand on his pant leg. She seemed as nervous as he was. Her heart was beating fast, and her blood was pooling in her face and neck and…other places.

  He could smell a mix of fear and arousal from her again. He didn’t know if it was just anticipation about what they were about to do, or something else—something he was almost too afraid to ask about.

  Finding out that she had risked her own life to save that family had nearly set him over the edge again. It was the first time that he had wanted to become like the thing that had turned him. Niall.

  Darren couldn’t believe how strong the urge had been to change—then track down Blake Morrison and Mrs. Ford and rip them to pieces.

  But even more than that, Darren wanted to stay with Miranda. Both in the moment and in the future. If he killed someone who was innocent or coerced into action, he knew it would taint his relationship with Miranda forever.

  Before he did anything, he needed the whole story. He had to stay in control. He couldn’t risk hurting anyone.

  Yet.

  Once he had control of his powers, he was already forming plans for what to do with everyone involved in the theft. First on the list was to track down Forester and wring his neck.

  The dark urges were getting easier to deal with. But they were still there.

  “It’s a nice place,” he said.

  “It’s nice enough.”

  She locked her door and slowly slid the chain in place, keeping her back to him. Was he starting to scare her after all?

  “I want you to know that I’m getting better at dealing with this,” he said.

  She turned around and smiled at him. “I’m glad.”

  “I know we’ve already…done things,” he said. “But that doesn’t mean anything else has to happen.”

  “I get that there’s no have to here, but I think it’ll be safer for us both if we don’t fight our attraction.”

  “Safer?”

  Her heartbeat picked up again as she took a deep breath. He thought she was about to say something, but she was keeping herself from speaking her mind.

  “Miranda, you don’t have to be afraid of me.”

  “I know. And you don’t have to be afraid of me, either.”

  He laughed. How could he ever be afraid of her? She was human. She’d even left Jack’s gun in the car. He could rip her to shreds without—

  He shook his head, forcing the thought from his mind, the image of her in his bloody claws. There was no way he would ever hurt her.


  But now he knew an important truth. On some level, part of him saw her as prey.

  Only for now.

  He reminded himself that she was going to become like him. The thought of eternity with her was compelling.

  The more time that passed since his attack, the easier it was for him to handle the disturbing thoughts his new nature presented to him. If he could handle it, so could she. He just needed to be careful with her in the meantime. And he needed to turn her as soon as possible.

  She closed the distance between them, grabbing his face and pulling him down for a kiss. He responded immediately, instinctively.

  One hand went to the back of her head and the other her lower back, pulling her up against him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, meeting his tongue as he thrust it into her mouth. He slid his hands lower, cupping her backside and pressing her hips against his, grinding his erection against her heat.

  When he shifted his kisses to her neck, nipping and suckling the skin, she groaned the word, “Bedroom.”

  He lifted her up off her feet. She wrapped her legs around his waist, smiling as he walked them into her room.

  This was his future. It began now.

  He wanted to set her on the bed and melt into her. He wouldn’t even have to bother with a condom after what Jack had said.

  He did need to strip off his clothes. His clothes…that were covered in dirt, grime, and his blood from when he’d still been human.

  He noticed a bathroom connected to her bedroom, and turned toward it instead.

  “Where are you taking me?” she said.

  The breathless quality to her voice made him want to growl in triumph. Was that even a thing?

  “The bathroom,” he said. “I need a shower.”

  “That’s a good idea. I stink like diner.”

  “You smell amazing.”

  She snorted, then nuzzled his neck. “You’re biased.”

  “You smell like sex and honeysuckle.”

  “I’ve…never heard that before. But I have to also smell like grease and bleach.”

  “There’s that, too.”

  She laughed as she slid down his body, keeping as much contact as possible. She leaned back a bit and pulled her shirt over her head, revealing her olive-gold skin. Her bra pushed her generous breasts up into soft mounds that he couldn’t resist kissing.

  He ran his hands over the smooth skin at her sides, lifting her breasts so he could suck more of them into his mouth, gently biting and then kissing them. She burrowed her fingers through his hair, groaning as he kneaded their heavy weight.

  He couldn’t take anymore. He lifted her from her feet and set her on the counter next to the sink. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him close, opening herself for him to grind his dick against her.

  She felt so good, even through their clothes. He could feel her heat, her wetness. Fucking her would be heaven.

  She grabbed his hair again, turning him to face her. He’d never had a lover so sure of what she wanted, so willing to let him know. He gladly captured her lips again, delving into her mouth with his tongue.

  Her legs tightened, increasing the pressure of their hips pushing together. He released her mouth and latched onto her neck, suckling the skin hard. She let out a groan, her hips moving against his.

  His fingers curled against her back, digging into her soft flesh—but not too much. He had to be careful not to hurt her. He had to hold back.

  Apparently, she didn’t feel the same way.

  For a moment, her pulse seemed to pause, then it pounded through her body. He could feel it in her pussy, her muscles clenching, reaching for something that was so close, but out of reach.

  He thrust against her harder and faster, wanting to make this release as spectacular as he possibly could. She cried out his name, nearly pushing him over his own edge, but he held on. The next time he came with her, he was going to be buried deep in her flesh.

  And it was going to be soon.

  Her body went limp against his and he paused. He wanted to see her face after what they’d just shared.

  A soft smile curved her lips and her eyes were heavy-lidded. She blinked a few times, as if she was disoriented, then she gave a brief laugh—almost a giggle.

  “That sort of took me by surprise,” she said.

  “Don’t worry, it happens to everyone.”

  She laughed harder, burying her face against his chest. The sound delighted him on yet another emotional level he had never reached. He was starting to acclimate, though. And he wanted more.

  “Maybe I should have gone with, ‘What, you didn’t see that coming?’” he said.

  She groaned, but laughed again.

  He kissed the side of her head, then nuzzled her hair. He wanted to give his body a chance to calm down a little, but not completely. He wanted this to last. He wanted them to last. Forever.

  He pulled back and cradled her face in his hands, his chest filling with a pressure that was similar to the urge to change, but much more pleasant. It was like his heart was trying to shift into her body. He didn’t bother trying to fight it.

  “I have to tell you something,” she said. “Before anything else happens between us.”

  What could she possibly have to talk about during this perfect moment? And she didn’t look happy. The nervous expression from earlier was creeping back onto her features.

  “Okay.”

  She gripped his wrists and gently moved his hands away from her face, placing them on the counter on either side of her hips.

  “Sometimes my visions call for sacrifices. Like me taking the place of that family in the accident.”

  His body tensed at the thought. From what she had told him already, her powers had made her so lonely. He wanted to kiss her and tell her that was all behind her. Something in the way she was looking at him made him wait.

  “Sometimes I don’t know what the sacrifices will be,” she said. “Sometimes I only know the consequences of action…or inaction.”

  “That seems pretty vague.”

  “It can be. But I only receive visions that are really important. And I usually know what I need to do to save the most people.”

  “That’s a lot of responsibility.”

  Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded. “But I can help people. More people than you can imagine, Darren. The vision I had of the apocalypse could affect the entire world. Billions of people suffering, dying…”

  “You said you’d stopped it.”

  “I said I think I’ve stopped it. At least, I took the first step.”

  His skin started to crawl. He needed to change her, to give her the strength and speed he possessed. To give her a chance to survive any future ahead of them.

  At the same time, her expression was making him uneasy. He already knew she was willing to risk her own life to help a handful of people. What would she do to protect billions?

  “What did you do?” he said.

  “It’s what I didn’t do.” Her eyes were sparkling with unshed tears. “I didn’t warn you.”

  “About what?”

  “What would happen if you got out of your car. About…the attack.”

  “The…”

  The attack. Being bitten by a werewolf.

  She had seen it, had known it was going to happen—and she hadn’t warned him. She hadn’t even tried to explain, to prepare him for what was about to happen.

  “Wait. You didn’t know that werewolves were real until Jack told you. Until I told you.” He voice was rising, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop it.

  “I know.”

  “What did you think was going to happen to me? What exactly did you see?”

  She closed her eyes and the tears spilled over.

  “I saw a giant animal bite your arm and take you to the ground.” Her voice hitched. “I heard you scream and saw…blood.”

  His heart started to pound. “Did you even know I was going to make it?”

  Whe
n she opened her eyes, he saw the truth in them. She hadn’t known he would be okay.

  She sent me to my death.

  And the coldness in her gaze made it clear…she would do it again.

  His blood was rushing in his ears. His fingers itched and his skin prickled.

  He’d thought they were connecting, forming a bond unlike anything he’d ever been able to experience before. He’d thought she valued him, but she had thrown his life away.

  He stepped back.

  She followed, sliding from the sink to stand before him.

  “Think of what was at stake,” she said.

  All he could think about was letting his claws burst out of his fingertips and flaying her neck. She would see blood then, too.

  He grabbed his head and pressed his temples, as if he could squeeze the violent thoughts out of his mind. She had said something important.

  Stakes.

  She had asked him to think of what was at stake. Billions of lives.

  Dark thoughts rose up in him.

  It shouldn’t have mattered.

  She’d said she already cared about Darren. That they would fall in love and be together forever.

  It shouldn’t have mattered that she might save billions of lives by letting him die. She should have chosen him.

  “Please, Darren. Hold on. Please don’t change.”

  “What the fuck do you care?”

  He never swore at people.

  This isn’t me.

  “I do care,” she said. “Whether you believe me or not. Letting you go was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”

  He snorted and shook his head. She actually reached for him, putting her traitorous hands on his chest. As angry as he was, he still felt it jolt through his body. He still wanted her.

  “I’m not asking you to forgive me or even to trust me,” she said. “I’m asking you to let me help you.”

  Was she seriously still thinking something would happen between them after this? Had that been what she was doing all along? Working him up, getting him attached, just so she could safely drop this bombshell on him and not get killed from it?

  His skin heated as rage swept over him. Maybe he should fuck her first. He could always rip her throat out later.

  No… No. What the hell am I thinking?