Forbidden Instinct

by Cassandra Chandler

  Darren growled and flexed his fingers, still trying to reach Shade. The vampire seemed to be gaining space, though, slowly pushing Darren back.

  “You are a neophyte. You’re dangerous. I can help you. Help you protect Miranda. But you have to control yourself. Right now.”

  Throughout his change, Darren had talked about their bond helping him. It seemed Shade knew exactly what buttons to push to help Darren calm himself down.

  She felt his muscles tense beneath her. He stopped trying to bite Shade, but was still growling.

  “Darren, please,” Miranda said. “You can do this. I know you can.”

  Darren shifted his weight, standing and pulling Shade halfway off the ground with him. Miranda kept her arms around Darren’s neck, her feet dangling.

  Shade’s eyes were wide. He looked like he didn’t know if it was a good sign or not. Miranda didn’t either.

  Darren released him. Shade grunted as he hit the ground.

  She let out a breath, leaning against the back of Darren’s head. He lifted one hand to her arm and touched it—so gentle it surprised her—then nuzzled her cheek.

  Shade pulled himself onto all fours. The leg that Miranda was sure Darren had broken was still at an odd angle, but as Shade turned, it popped back into place. He let out a small grunt, then ran to Eden so fast he blurred. Darren followed at a slower pace, still holding Miranda’s arm to keep her in place on his back.

  “Eden, hold on,” Shade said.

  Miranda’s stomach felt leaden. They couldn’t have come so close to saving Eden and then fail. There had been too much loss already.

  “You need to turn her right now,” Miranda said. “If there’s any chance—”

  Shade cut her off. “Not without her permission.”

  He spoke so vehemently, she knew he wouldn’t budge. But if Eden couldn’t wake up, how could she give it?

  “Then Darren will do it,” Miranda said.

  “No,” Shade yelled.

  Darren shocked Miranda by forming words in his mostly-changed state. His voice was guttural, but he said, “You’d rather lose her than have her be a werewolf?”

  Her heart sank further. If Shade thought it was worth letting Eden die rather than having her become a werewolf, Darren might have second thoughts about turning Miranda.

  “I wouldn’t care if she became a chupacabra,” Shade said. “But she has to give permission first. It has to be her choice.”

  “What if she’s beyond that now?” Miranda said. “What if she can’t?”

  “She can,” Shade said. “She will.”

  He lifted Eden to his lap, cradling her face in his hands. “Eden, sweetheart. I need you to open your eyes. I need you to talk to me. Just one word.”

  He bent to her ear, whispering so quietly Miranda couldn’t make out the words. But Darren’s grip on her arm tightened.

  He sucked in a breath, then let it out slowly. As he did, the dark fur covering his skin retreated. His muscles and bones shifted back into place as he shrank to his normal proportions.

  Miranda slid down his back, but couldn’t bring herself to let go. She was terrified.

  Darren managed to twist in her embrace, wrapping his arms around her and tucking her into his side. He still seemed tense, watching the intimate scene before them playing out.

  Finally, Shade let out a sigh and lowered his forehead to Eden’s. Darren squeezed Miranda closer against his side.

  “It’s okay,” Darren said. “He got his answer.”

  Shade didn’t waste any time. He lifted his wrist to his mouth and tore a deep gash with his…fangs. He pressed the wound to Eden’s lips.

  “Come on,” Shade said. “Please.”

  Her brow furrowed at first, but then relaxed as she started to drink. Shade let out a breath, slumping a bit as he pulled her closer.

  Miranda felt a little sick to her stomach. It was one thing to read about vampires biting people and sharing blood, or even to see it in movies. In person it was more…gruesome than she expected. Still, she was so relieved that Eden was going to be okay, she felt a little giddy.

  “That’s enough for now.” Shade pulled his wrist away from Eden’s mouth, then rose, lifting her into his arms. “You have my gratitude. And incredible respect. I seriously don’t know how you managed to rein yourself in like that.”

  “I get that a lot,” Darren said.

  Shade cast a cock-eyed grin at them. “I was sure I was going to have to kill you.”

  “Yeah, I hear that a lot, too.” Darren grinned back at Shade. It wasn’t exactly what Miranda would call a pleasant expression. “Nobody’s managed it so far.”

  She wasn’t sure this was safe territory for them to be wading into. She didn’t want Darren to be set off again, so she brought the conversation back to Eden.

  “Is she going to be okay?”

  “She will,” Shade said. “My blood will keep her out of danger. She just needs some time for it to regenerate her system. As soon as she wakes up, we can proceed, but the rest of the change is going to take a while and is…a private matter.”

  “We’ll come back tomorrow night,” Miranda said.

  “There are a few things we need to go over first.” Shade turned and started toward the house. “Starting with you telling me everything you know about what happened to Niall.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Vampire business was better than good. It was fantastic, judging by Shade’s home. Darren had been in some swank houses during his work with Ford Security. This one would hit the top ten.

  Darren and Miranda followed Shade through a foyer that was two and a half stories high. A double-staircase wrapped around the edges of the room. He led them through a door beneath one that opened to a sitting room.

  The walls were covered in yellow and white striped wallpaper. Flower-shaped sconces lit the room. A few chairs and small couches filled the space, with a coffee table in the center and a sideboard between two doors set in the wall on their right.

  The cheeriness of it seemed odd to Darren. He’d expected a vampire’s home to be gloomy and gothic. Then again, he could say the same about the vampire himself.

  Shade seemed to be constantly smiling—when he wasn’t worried about Eden, or trying to kick Darren’s ass. After gently setting her on one of the couches, Shade sat on the floor next to her, holding her hand.

  “You’re sure she’ll be okay?” Miranda’s grip on Darren’s waist tightened.

  “Yes. Well…” Shade half-shrugged. “Pretty sure.”

  “Pretty sure isn’t very reassuring,” Darren said.

  “Whatever illness she has is affecting her blood. Weakening it. I’m not sure how it will affect us.”

  “Us?” Miranda said.

  “Turning for vampires is about mixing our blood. Whatever fate is in store for her, I’ll share.” He glanced over at them, then smiled. “I’m okay with that.”

  Miranda started to fidget. “Is there anything we can do to help?”

  “Actually, it would probably help for me to be at full strength. Healing that broken leg took a little out of me.” He stared at Darren, but was still smiling.

  “What can we do?” Miranda said.

  “I need blood.” Shade spoke casually, as if asking for blood was no big deal.

  Darren felt his hackles rise, even though he was in his human form. He stepped forward and growled.

  “Not hers.” Shade laughed. “Come on, we’re not savages here. I have a supply in the fridge in the kitchen.” He gestured over his shoulder at one of the doors next to the sideboard.

  “You’re just going to let a couple of strangers wander around your house?” Darren said.

  “Friends of Eden’s are friends of mine. Besides, if Niall turned you…” Shade’s smile faltered. He looked down at Eden for a moment, as if collecting himself. When he looked back at Darren, he was smiling again, but his eyes glittered. “If Niall turned you, that sort of makes you family.”

  Something sh
ifted deep in Darren’s gut. Forester had tried to claim Darren as family, and the offer had sounded so hollow, it didn’t affect him at all. The sincerity in Shade’s eyes, in his voice… Darren could feel that he meant it.

  He started to feel hope again. He had been afraid after their fight that he had ruined any chance that Shade might help them.

  “We’ll be right back.” Darren led Miranda toward the door. It opened to a narrow hallway lined with several more doors.

  “How will we find the kitchen?” Miranda asked.

  Shade laughed. “Just follow Darren’s nose.”

  “Very funny.” Darren scowled back at Shade, but only half meant it.

  “I’m a comedian,” Shade said. “You’ll get used to it.”

  Darren chuckled, leading Miranda down the hall. Finding the kitchen was easy. Just as Shade said, Darren followed the scent of food—and the sharper, metallic scent of blood. He opened the door to the kitchen and let Miranda go in first.

  “Holy crap. This place is huge.” She spun around in a circle, looking at the high ceilings, the tiled walls, and the rows of tables and workspaces.

  “Do you like it?”

  He remembered with a start that he still didn’t have a job. With Scott and Mrs. Ford gone, there was little chance he’d be going back to the security company.

  If Miranda wanted a house with a kitchen as big as her apartment, he didn’t know how he’d swing that. How the hell did werewolves provide for their pack?

  She shook her head. “It’s completely impractical. I mean, maybe if you were entertaining a bunch of people or threw lots of parties. But I like my little kitchenette. Everything is one step away.”

  “My apartment has a small kitchen. It’s a little roomier than yours, but nothing like this.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  He let out his breath. As soon as he had this whole werewolf thing squared away, he’d find another job. They would figure out how to make it work.

  He started to lead her deeper into the huge room, but she stopped. She put her hands on his face and stared into his eyes for a few moments.

  “Are you okay?” she said.

  “Yeah. Shade barely touched me.”

  “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

  Darren was aware. He was just trying not to think about it.

  The fight had been terrifying. Primarily because it had been…fun.

  He’d been focused on protecting Miranda at first, but the longer it went on, the more the violence sang to him. He’d ended up wailing on Shade just for the hell of it. The power in his limbs, in his claws and teeth, had made him feel invincible.

  It scared the hell out of him.

  The only thing that was anywhere near that rush was when he was making love to Miranda. Thank God Shade had reminded Darren of her, brought his focus back to her. It had helped him to pull himself out of it.

  “I thought I was going to lose you.” Her eyes filled with tears again. They were still red from crying earlier—when she’d thrown herself on Darren’s back to try to get him to calm down.

  He dusted his fingertips across her cheek. “That’s never going to happen.”

  Then he kissed her. He needed it as much as she did, probably. The reassurance, the connection. He let his tongue slide into her mouth, feeling her embracing him, welcoming him into her body. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close.

  He lifted her from her feet, encouraging her to wrap her legs around his waist. Once she did, he walked them to the nearest table and sat her down.

  Dammit, she was wearing jeans. He could tear them off easily enough, but then what would she wear after they were done?

  “Do not have sex in my kitchen,” Shade said.

  Darren broke off the kiss, wheeling around and expecting to see Shade right next to them. But they were alone.

  “What is it?” Miranda said.

  “Shade.”

  “You’re kissing me and thinking about Shade?” She cocked an eyebrow and smirked at him.

  Darren scowled in return. “No, I heard him just now.”

  “She can’t hear me,” Shade said. Darren realized his voice was coming from the sitting room.

  As if confirming Darren’s thought, Shade said, “Vampires might not be able to smell things as well as werewolves, but we have great hearing.”

  Darren shook his head and slowly backed away from Miranda. Picking her up by her hips, he set her feet on the floor.

  “Shade says we’re not allowed to have sex in his kitchen,” Darren said.

  Miranda’s eyes widened and she blushed. “How did he know what we were doing?”

  “He heard us.” Darren smiled at her. “Let’s hurry up and get him his blood.”

  She nodded and followed Darren as he led her to the fridge where the metallic scent originated. When he opened the door, he saw that most of the fridge was filled with vegetables, drinks, meats—things you’d find in anyone’s kitchen. But the bottom two drawers were filled with bags of blood.

  He barely raised his voice as he said, “How many do you want?”

  Miranda glanced around the kitchen.

  “Three should do it,” Shade said.

  Darren plucked three bags from the drawer and closed it along with the doors to the fridge. “Big eater.”

  Shade chuckled.

  “You could hear him from in here?” Miranda said.

  “Yeah.”

  As they headed back to the sitting room, she said, “How does anyone have sex in the house without hearing each other?”

  Shade didn’t reply until they’d returned. “We don’t.”

  He stared at them intently as Darren handed over the bags of blood.

  “Thanks,” Shade said.

  His fangs descended again and he bit into the first bag, draining it in seconds. When they were all empty, he tossed them on the coffee table and sat back with a sigh.

  “That is much better.”

  “Sorry about the leg,” Darren said.

  “No you’re not. You loved every minute of that fight.”

  He stammered, wanting to deny it, but not wanting to lie.

  “It’s okay,” Shade said. “It’s a werewolf thing. Fighting is like catnip…or something that makes more sense for werewolves.”

  “You’re really okay?” Miranda said.

  Shade smiled at her. “I’m fine. It’s one of the benefits of being a vampire—or a werewolf. We’re very resilient.” He gestured toward a nearby chair. “Please, have a seat.”

  Darren chose a small chair and pulled Miranda down onto his lap. Having her close would help him keep a lid on his temper if Shade said or did anything that upset him.

  Darren had a feeling they’d be wading into some murky waters in their conversation. It didn’t take long for Shade to start up.

  “Eden said you’re an oracle,” Shade said. “Does that give you special strength or healing powers? Maybe mind control?”

  Miranda laughed. “I wish. Aside from the visions, I’m a garden-variety human.”

  Shade let out a thoughtful sound. “I somehow doubt that.”

  “What do you mean?” Miranda said.

  “You seem to be a pretty ‘well bonded couple’. Not to be crass, but I’ve never heard of a werewolf having sex with a human without…” Shade seemed to be struggling to find words. Given what Jack had said back at the restaurant, Darren couldn’t blame the guy.

  Miranda pulled Darren’s hand onto her thigh, holding his wrist. “Darren would never hurt me.”

  “That’s what I thought about Eden.” Shade’s smile fell as he turned to look at Eden, smoothing some hair away from her forehead. “I still was so carried away that I…” He shook his head, his voice trailing off.

  “You bit her,” Miranda said. “That’s what sped up her descent.”

  “If she had died, it would have been my fault,” Shade said. All traces of playfulness left his tone. “I can never repay you for helping me save her.”r />
  “Saving her is good enough for us,” Darren said.

  Shade let out a soft laugh through his nose. “We’ve always known it was dangerous to be with humans. I thought I could control myself when we…”

  He shook his head. “It was so natural, though. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I stopped. I caught myself so quickly. For a normal human, it wouldn’t have harmed them at all.”

  “You didn’t know she was sick, did you?” Miranda said.

  “Not until I tasted her blood. Niall must have known. He kept trying to warn me away from her. I thought it was just because of—” He shook his head again.

  “Listen, you want information from me,” Darren said. “I need information from you, too. We’ve been fumbling our way through this blind.”

  Shade laughed. “Fumbling? I’d say you’re navigating these waters with amazing skill, my friend.”

  “It helps that he has an oracle as a guide.” Miranda smiled and leaned into Darren.

  He wrapped his arms around her waist. “That’s true. I guess we haven’t been completely blind.”

  “Remarkable.”

  They both turned to Shade.

  “I’m just stunned to see you in such control,” he said. “We’ve always thought that we couldn’t have that kind of… intimate contact with humans without harming them. That’s why it’s forbidden.”

  “Forbidden?” Miranda said.

  “Niall fell in love with a woman from one of the villages we were protecting back when we had all just changed. It didn’t end well.”

  “Did he turn her?” Darren didn’t want to ask, but had to know.

  A haunted expression passed over Shade’s features. He took a deep breath, and said, “He killed her.”

  Darren’s heart started to pound. That didn’t make any sense. Darren loved Miranda. He would never hurt her. He was sure of it. But if Niall loved that woman, he might have thought the same thing—and been wrong.

  Miranda turned to Darren and lifted her hand to run her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and focused on the sensation, letting it calm him.