She never wrote the words “I have seen the future” until she was nineteen.Though there were many instances of her mentioning how she was always right about this or that.
I was convinced by all I read that she did not want to acknowledge that she could see the future. She had other gifts to attend to. But she was at odds with her mother who had the same gift. I was not, and I had no mother to guide me but in this displaced way. So, I promptly wrote the words in my part of the journal.
I can see the future.
Then I shut the book and pondered what this could mean for me. I wondered if I would be gifted with strong sight like my mother or just occasional sight like my grandmother. And I wondered how it would affect me. Would I see my own death, as my mother had? Would I see the deaths of those around me, as my grandmother? Was I cursed to see only death?
For the first time, I felt fear. I did not want this part of my power to be great. I did not want to know what lay on the path before me. I did not want to be responsible in that way.
Closing the journal, I looked at my shaking hands and, for the first time, wished I was a regular girl. I feared myself and my future. I feared what I could see.
In the middle of May, Kat received a letter from Father, one that she did not want to show me. Telling me I must wait until studies were over for the day to have the letter, she folded it up and stuck it in her corset. Of course, I fretted all day long over what she did not want me to know. When the time finally came to read it, she hesitated giving it to me.
“Kat, you can have no reason for keeping this from me. I will have my father’s letter. Please hand it over.”
I tried to say it with as much respect as I could muster, but when I saw the determined look on Kat’s face, I reached for my power to surround me with its protection and almost sent her an orb. However, remembering my oath, I did not. It burned me to force myself to stand there as she looked me up and down with an eye of anger. After a few moments, she retrieved the letter and handed it to me.
My Lady Katherine,
* * *
The king has requested that Elizabeth be brought to Hampton as soon as is manageable. The king would like his children to meet Lady Katherine Parr, for within the month she will be our newest queen.
* * *
Lord Thomas Cranmer
Royal Secretary to the King
Henry VIII of England and the Isle
“Father is going to be married again?”
I could not believe the words that were on the page. Part of me hoped so much that Lady Katherine Parr was one whom I could call stepmother, but I did not want to have one more woman in my life who could be dead by my father’s hand within a year.
Kat was watching me closely, so I looked to her with a smile filling my face and said, “I suppose this means that I shall be at court for a while, and you know what I expect if I shall be at court?”
Only one corner of my governess’s face lifted wryly.
Episode 6
June 1543
Hampton Court Palace, London
My new dresses filled an entire trunk. The yellow satin and green embroidered one I wore as Mary and I entered the hall of Hampton made me feel like the princess I was, in all but name. Father was absolutely resplendent in his gold and white satin and velvet doublet, with black breeches and hose covered in gold embroidery and pearls. His gold chains, staff, and crown sparkled as the noonday sun glittered through the windows at the height of the long hall. Well-dressed courtiers lined the aisle as I walked slowly down with my sister, but they did not have my attention.
My eyes were upon the lady at my father’s side.
She was nothing like what I expected. Katherine Parr was very handsome, yet middle-aged. She had dark hair and bright eyes, with a round nose, mouth, and body. She was dressed in crimson and gold with a white starched collar and feather-plumed diamond hood. A thick necklace of gold and rubies flattered her thin neck and gold encircled every finger of both hands. Most importantly, she had a very sweet countenance and a motherly smile. I found myself smiling back at her with exuberance as I curtsied in front of them.
After a rather formal greeting, one that silenced the hall, a courtier with a deep resonating voice spoke. “What a very great pleasure to finally meet you, Lady Elizabeth. Lady Mary, it is likewise always an honor to meet with you.”
I tuned out the niceties to pay attention to an exchange between Father and Katherine. She placed a hand on Father’s and looked at him with adoration and maternal love. He looked back to her with happiness in his eyes, but it was not the same look I had seen him give Catherine Howard. This woman had had two husbands previous to Father and it seemed she knew how to treat a man. Nevertheless, I saw that he was not in love with her, although he did care for her.
Father smiled, spreading his arms wide as he turned back to look at me, and the silent chamber seemed to sigh as he bellowed, “Bessy, Mary, come give your father a hug!”
In that moment I did not care who was in the room. I rushed to hug him. This was one thing known about my father: if things were well in his life then things were well for everyone around him. He doted, laughed, and ignored proper form when he pleased; however, when he was unhappy, heads flew for the slightest misstep.
As I buried my face in his neck, I smelled the medicines he had on his leg and the unwashed hair of his head. But none of that mattered as I squeezed him tightly.
He whispered in my ear, “How is my little nighttime equestrian?”
When I pulled away to look up at him, I saw a small sparkle in his eye. It warmed me as much as the letter from my mother had. He saw me. He remembered our special conversation and he let me know that he remembered. I felt loved. It was a new sensation for me and I wanted to jump up and down with happiness, but I resolved to control myself and only spoke in a lively manner.
“I am well, Father, and very pleased to see you and meet Lady Katherine. I am very excited to be at court. Very excited indeed.”
Father smiled broadly and the courtiers behind me laughed at this comment. I stepped aside as Mary bent to hug my father, and who should be the first person I noticed in the crowd but John Dudley. He had an admiring smile on his face as he glanced up at me and I nodded to him. He was standing next to a very handsome man whom I had never seen before. The man smiled adoringly and winked at me, making my cheeks flush. Katherine must have noticed and wanted to relieve my embarrassment for she took my hand and pulled me in front of her as she cast a hard glance over my shoulder.
When she met my eyes, she smiled warmly. “I am Lady Katherine and I will soon be Queen and your stepmother. I hope that you will come to love me as a stepmother and that I can be a comfort and joy to you. I can see that we are going to get along wonderfully, and if what your father tells me about you is at all accurate, we shall have many amusing and stimulating conversations.” Then she turned to Mary, “How lovely you look today, Mary. I am always telling Henry how beautiful his children are. You shine like a Spanish jewel today, my dear.”
“I do not assume that I am beautiful, my Lady, but I think God has given me all I need,” was Mary’s curt reply, and she looked around the room uncomfortably.
Katherine smiled a tad smugly. “Yes, my dear, I believe he has. You are such a good girl.” There was a tiny bit of condescension in her voice and I had no idea what would make Mary and Katherine behave so.
We all proceeded to the dining hall where an elaborate dinner was served. I sat close enough to Father to speak with him.
“Thank you so much, Father, for letting me study with Edward. It was so enjoyable I thought I would never want to leave. Nevertheless, I am not ungrateful for my new tutor. He is all I hoped, and I am learning so well I doubt even the princes of France could do as well as I.”
“You seem to know that we are at odds with France again, my wise little one. I wonder what your tutors are teaching you.”
“Oh, Dr. Coxe is always at Edward to recall political information. I could
not help but learn it,” I said with a smile. “I fear I always learn much more than my teachers intend.”
Father laughed so that his big belly shook. “You are right, my little Bessy. All that teach you are impressed. I hear that you are becoming quite accomplished on the lute. I would love to hear you play.”
“I will oblige your smallest whim, Father. Name the hour,” I said, eager to share my talents with the crowd.
Father laughed again, “She is eager,” he said happily to the table of guests, and all laughed with him. “I like that in you, Bessy. I like that very much. I have always been a bit eager myself.” I glowed with exultance at his words and he eyed me with real notice now. “Do you not think it time we find a real suitor for this young lady?” He turned to Katherine and smiled. “If we wait too long to marry her off she will be so independent and stubborn that we will not be able to find anyone to please her, for women are not in the same situation as men. They do not need to marry. Why, look at Mary. She is already twenty-seven and is so set in her ways that she will not have anyone.”
Mary blushed deeply, and I could tell she wanted to excuse herself from the table, but Katherine spoke up. “I think that we all could work a bit harder at finding a proper husband for a…woman of Mary’s standing. I do not think she would be opposed to the situation of marriage if a suitable man were found. Would you Mary?”
“The lady is quite right.” Mary seemed to get her back up, then her face went white and I knew that I would not want to hear the rest of what she said. “I would like very much to have a suitor, if Father would be so kind as to tell me what station of man I am to expect. I am neither princess nor mere courtier. My mother was a princess and a queen, and my father is still the king, yet he is unwilling to claim me as his own in the way that would affect my rank and thus my marriage. So, what is anyone to think? I am just as confused as everyone else.”
Father slammed his hand down on the table, silencing the whole room. “That is enough, Mary! Your provocations will not help your case! Better for you to be willing and happy as your sister is, for this attitude will get you no further with men or with the king!”
He had knocked his wine goblet over and a servant was bustling to clean it up as Father cleared his throat and straightened his sleeves, which now had tiny droplets of wine splattered over the white satin. Suddenly he called out to the musicians, “I want to hear Lady Elizabeth play. Bring us a lute.”
Startled by this pronouncement, I quickly wiped my fingers on the table cloth and rose from my seat. As I began playing, I noticed John Dudley watching me closely. His nose twitched and his finger bounced upon his lips as if he were deep in thought. The man that sat next to him was the same handsome man that had winked at me. He had an odd look on his face, intense and hungry, like a bear being kept from his dinner.
As I came to the part of the song that I was to sing, I cleared my throat nervously and surrounded myself with the power, willing my nerves to stay calm. My voice came out clear and sweet, the sound of a young girl with great singing talent, and I myself was extremely pleased to hear it so. As the melody swelled and became more elaborate, I watched eyebrows rise with wonder and I smiled inside, knowing that my wish of silencing a room with the beauty of my music had just come true.
Robert had been right, and I knew deep within me that he would be right where I was concerned regularly, for who knew me and loved me as well as Robert?
July 1543
Hampton Court Palace, London
Though I was only allowed into the daily parties of the court on special occasions, it was all I dreamed it to be. There was always something entertaining going on. Father’s fool, Will Somers, kept brightly colored balls up his sleeve and would juggle the most intricate patterns on demand. He would also tell jokes and sing songs. There were dancers and lute players, card tables and food, laughing and scheming. I loved it. It was all new and interesting to me. I had spent so little time in court or around so many adults that now that I was old enough to understand, in a way, what was going on, I was fascinated.
No, it went further: I was addicted.
I watched and learned the way a woman and a man acted while they were together. Married men and women conversed flirtatiously with those other than their spouses, and I saw more than one or two hands in the wrong places on the wrong person, but only because I was at the perfect height for observing. I also saw the tension between certain individuals and I imagined that they loathed each other, or perhaps secretly loved one another. I always watched those people the closest, for I was curious to see if I could figure it all out and was perpetually absorbed, yet shocked, by what I saw.
However, it did help me understand what exactly Robert had been practicing on me. There was a defiant art to these flirtations. I soaked it all up and hoped that soon I would be able to practice some of the more mild tricks on him.
The second time I was allowed in a court party, it was due to many courtiers wanting to hear me sing and play again. However, I stayed far after my singing was concluded. It was then that I noticed something. Katherine and the man that had winked at me (I learned his name was Thomas Seymour) watched one another a lot. It did not take me long to realize that, although Katherine was completely devoted to my father, she was in love with Thomas. He may have been in love with her as well, but he was far too distracted by other women for me to make that determination a certainty.
I caught him on more than one occasion groping a maid’s bottom or playing at innocence when kissing a lady’s hand then letting his lips go to her wrist. These things always happened in the darkest corner of the room where no one normally would see. But I saw. He did not care about the station of the woman he flirted with, only that she was young, petite, handsome, and of course willing.
This was interesting to me and I wondered if I could not cause him a little trouble. He was, after all, making Katherine—who was the sweetest of women—miserable. I watched her watching him; she was no fool. Even more troubling to me than this was what a man so carelessly forward in front of God, king, and the whole court, might be doing to these women behind closed doors.
I set myself to surveying him at every opportunity. At first, he noticed me and gave me far too many winks to be proper, but I met his gaze with one of my own that I hoped conveyed my thoughts. I see you for what you are, you scoundrel.
I focused on watching his eyes and contrived to know, long before his intended prey, what he had in store for her. As soon as he would approach her, I would fill myself with the light of the moon and send a message to the woman. “Find your husband,” or, “Someone is calling your name. Find them.” Sometimes I would say, “You are very sleepy. Make your excuses and retire—alone.”
I found that certain ladies were not as susceptible to my subtle power and I would end up using much more of the power than was necessary, and then they acted strange and confused because of my manipulation. As I studied these situations, I found that, nine times out of ten, the woman was staring down Thomas as much as he was her.
They were not receptive to my power because they wanted him to come to them.
I noticed how these specific women—mostly pretty servants—sought him out. They sought him out even though they were married!
I was shocked and dismayed by their behavior. What in the world was this man’s allure? That these women knew the certain consequences of being with a man, was undeniable. Yet they still chased him? Sure, he was handsome, rich, and single, yet, he was a self-proclaimed rogue. Why would any woman put herself in the power of a man such as him? This was so shocking to me that I decided I needed to understand. I was too perplexed to let it go.
One evening an opportunity arose for me to follow him. I only wanted to catch a glimpse of what he would do to the young serving girl he brazenly pursued out of the party. The girl had bright, friendly eyes and long blonde hair that was braided neatly and tied around the top of her head. She was perhaps four years older than me, so she was still youthfull
y slender, yet she had a disproportionately large bust. The blending of these two features was something I had seen rarely, perhaps because it was not natural to look that way. Yet I noticed how all the men eyed her, even though her face was rather squished and homely. This bizarre notice of a plain, yet buxom girl was helpful in educating me on the subject of men.
I was sure that he was too busy to see me following him, for I kept a safe distance behind and used a manipulation to influence him to keep looking ahead. I followed the two of them to a small room that had been lined with bookshelves and served as a makeshift library for long-staying guests.
It did not take me long to reach the room and peek in the door Thomas had entered, and by the scene before me, all I could assume was that he had attacked her upon opening the door. Several comfortable chairs and a few side tables littered the room, but in the center was a larger table. It seemed upon this the young girl had crassly been thrown, for she was in some sort of aroused panic. Presently Thomas handled her large breasts in a vicious manner ripping and clawing at them. Yet the girl did not complain, she only pulled on the strings to his codpiece. After sweeping her skirts out of the way, Thomas Seymore mounted the girl in a most grotesque manner. I could only watch for a moment before I felt so ashamed I had to turn away.
Elizabeth Tudor- Ancestry of Sorcery Page 13