The Lookout: A Gripping Survival Thriller
Page 3
Erin reached across the table and placed a supportive hand on top of hers.
“You did walk away. It doesn’t matter when, only that you did. Right? Look at you now. You had the courage to leave.”
Kelly stared back at her through tears and nodded slowly. “But as long as I remain in Emery, I’m never really going to be free, am I? People talk. I’ll always be that woman who was abused, that cop’s ex-wife, that…” Kelly exhaled hard looking out the window, trying to control her emotions. “I don’t want to be that, Erin. I just want to move on, forget that it ever happened. But how?”
Erin studied her.
“Screw what other people think. Okay? They don’t have a damn clue. The ones that matter understand. We’re here for you. Anything you need, we’ve got your back. You know that, right?”
Kelly nodded as tears rolled down her face. “I appreciate that, hon. I’m just scared. About everything. The present, the future. That I won’t trust anyone again. I’m scared I’ll let the wrong person in.” She pursed her lips. “I’m scared I’ll wind up alone. Probably living with a house full of cats.” She looked at Boomer and he cocked his head. “Alright. Dogs.” Erin chuckled and then gave her a serious look.
“You’re not alone. And don’t ever think you’re not strong, Kelly. What you did walking into the police station took guts. Being vulnerable is strength. Moving forward is strength. Don’t let him have that part of you. It’s the best part. You’re stronger than you think. Just showing up here is proof of that.”
Kelly pulled a tissue from a box nearby and dabbed her eyes and then apologized for ruining her happy moment.
“Nothing to apologize about,” Erin said, brushing it off, but Kelly still felt a little stupid for crying. The thing was that’s all she’d been doing for the last few weeks. She sucked in a lungful of air to gather her composure. Erin straightened and gave her a steely gaze. “Listen, why don’t you come into town with us? Celebrate. We’ll go out and have some drinks, a few laughs, I’m sure there’s people who would be glad to see you.”
Kelly gave a strained smile and drummed the table with her fingers. “Um. Sounds lovely and I am grateful but… I’m not sure I’m ready for that. People. And, not to be a killjoy but you know what they say, two’s company, three’s a crowd. I don’t want to be the third wheel.”
Erin frowned. “You wouldn’t. Come on. Please.”
“Thank you. But I’ll pass.” She pointed to her bag. “I need to finish this book.”
“You mean start it?”
She cocked her head. “Same thing.”
They smiled at each other. “All right, but I’m coming up here on Sunday night, okay? Just you and me. I’ll bring a nice blush wine and we’ll drink the night away. Sound good?” She paused and stabbed a finger at Kelly. “And I won’t take no for an answer.”
Kelly smiled and nodded. “Sure. Sounds good.”
As Erin turned, Kelly piped up. “Oh, I forgot, my brother might be here.” She grimaced. “He said he was coming up.”
It didn’t deter her. “Good. I finally get to meet him.”
Kelly smiled.
They spent the next couple of minutes cleaning up and Kelly gave Erin a hand packing. Bryce eventually stuck his head through the hatch opening. “Ladies.”
“Oh, here he is,” Erin said.
“I thought I felt my ears burning.” He grinned. “Kelly!”
“I hear congratulations are in order,” she said as he climbed in. He glanced at Erin and Kelly could tell he was a little taken aback by the frog in her throat. Erin wrapped an arm around his waist and Bryce kissed her forehead.
“Yep, sealed the deal. Now I just need to go out and buy my ball and chain.”
Erin nudged him and he burst out laughing.
“You look after her,” Kelly said, wagging her finger at him.
“Oh, I intend to,” Bryce replied, looking lovingly at Erin. It had been a long time since Kelly had seen anyone look at her like that. It was hard not to feel jealous. She turned away and took some of the garbage and threw it down the chute ready to be bagged.
“By the way, Kelly. Thank you for letting us stay. And for free!” he said in a surprised manner. “I really couldn’t have thought of a better place than this to propose. It’s beautiful up here.”
“That it is,” she said looking out. The view of the sun retiring behind the western ridge in the summer months never got old. Watching the golden hues over the mountains inch back into darkness only to be replaced by a tapestry of speckled lights was something to behold. Now it was just gray, bland-looking skies.
“You are more than welcome.”
He cleared his throat. “Well we should get going. Hank’s getting a little antsy.”
They hugged it out and Erin reminded her that she would be back in two nights. Kelly watched them disappear behind the trees before she left the wraparound deck and entered the cabin. She took some of the kindling, tossed it in the fireplace along with a couple of logs and stoked up the fire before closing the heavy iron door and peering through the glass at the glow.
“Well it’s just you and me,” Kelly said to Boomer who had now curled up in front of the fire. She took out her computer and placed it on the table, determined to get at least one chapter completed. The idea was all there, an outline had been brewing in the back of her mind for months, but getting it done, well that was another thing. She sat for what felt like an hour staring at a blank page, her fingers hovering over the keys, before drinking another cup of cocoa. There was no internet, and barely any cell service. Still, she had solar panels on the roof that fed down to a small charging unit which offered guests a way to juice a few small electronics just in case they wanted to try and get a bar or two. It also doubled as a way to illuminate the inside. The charging unit powered one LED lightbulb that dangled down, and could be turned on and off at the pull of a cord.
Kelly sighed. Why weren’t the words coming to her? Her mind was like a highway of spaghetti, a tangled mix of the past and present. Realizing she wasn’t going to get anything done, she closed the laptop, got up and filled Boomer’s bowl with kibble, then grabbed a soft white towel. “Sauna time.” She pointed at him. “Now don’t you be getting up on the table and eating what’s left of my food, okay buddy?” Boomer glanced up with these deep brown eyes of his that melted her heart. Not overly hungry, she had whipped up some pasta, and shaved off some parmesan for the top, but after a few bites, she pushed it to one side.
Kelly collected a flashlight from a drawer, snowshoes hanging off the back of the door and headed down.
The sauna was by far one of the nicest amenities at the off-the-grid rental. She’d converted an old shed into a lap of luxury so couples could pamper themselves. It was a simple setup of an all-cedar insulated interior with two benches, and an old fireplace that had been modified to contain rocks on the top. As there was no running water up to the lookout, drinkable water came in the form of two and a half gallon containers below the sink, allowing her to hand pump it in. For the bucket shower and sauna, Hank had come up with a smart way of gathering water from a nearby spring, filling up multiple barrels and then setting one high up in a tree so it could be gravity fed down to a faucet. That was then used to load up a bucket which could be poured over the rocks with a ladle to create steam.
Kelly had to use one of the fire pokers to break the ice on top of the barrel’s opening to get access to the water beneath. She collected enough to fill a bucket and went into the sauna. Originally she’d opted to use candles inside the sauna but it just got too messy so she went with wall mounted tealights which offered ambiance at night. Beyond that, a shaft of daylight filtered through a small window that was two hands wide.
After getting everything set up, Kelly laid back on the cedar bench waiting for the rocks to heat up. Forty minutes later the temperature had reached around a hundred degrees before she tossed water on the rocks, and they hissed. A cloud of steam billowed and she felt her muscles
relax.
She closed her eyes and perched on the edge of the bench. She breathed in deeply, letting the steam open up her lungs.
It wasn’t long before she found herself thinking of that night.
Flashes of abuse tormented her mind. It was hard to forget.
It had all started with an accusation of looking too long at a male friend of Cole’s. He’d had one of his work buddies over with his girlfriend for supper. They’d joined them for drinks in the outdoor hot tub. She’d always seen it as a way for Cole to flaunt and brag about arrests or new toys he’d bought. The conversation was always about him. She thought the night had gone well, until his friends left.
Nope.
The accusation was followed by a slap, and a shove, then he grabbed her hair and dragged her back to the hot tub. Hands clamped around her throat, cutting off her air supply, he lost control and erupted, his face twisting as he struck her multiple times and then held her head under the water.
Kelly opened her eyes and glanced at the tealight set into a Himalayan salt holder beside her. Shadows danced off the walls of the sauna.
Instantly she was back there again.
Had it not been for a similar item, a heavy candle set into a metal holder beside the hot tub, she was sure he would have kept her head under the water, perhaps even killed her.
She could still remember writhing in water then grasping the steel as darkness closed in at the corners of her eyes.
What came next was swift.
Kelly struck him over the head and scrambled out of the tub, frantically running for her life.
When will the memories fade? Kelly took a deep breath and poured another ladle of water over the rocks. Her body disappeared into the cloud of steam.
3
A cold wind howled as tree limbs scraped against a window. It was what had awoken Kelly that next morning. She tapped a button on her wristwatch. The neon glow of five forty-five shone back. It was far too early to get up. She’d planned on waking at seven, making coffee and being at her computer by eight. Nope. She squirmed beneath her duvet trying to get back to sleep but it was useless — her mind and the dog wouldn’t let her. Boomer was splayed across the bed; his huge unmovable weight had her pinned to the bed, making every attempt to get comfortable impossible. She usually didn’t allow him on the bed but he must have hopped up in the night. Shifting beneath him was met with resistance and a snore. “Boomer. C’mon. Move. You’re crushing me,” she wheezed. His gums flapped as he snored; he didn’t even lift his head or blink. It was only when she scratched his back end did his tongue flop out and his body arch in euphoric bliss. The moment she stopped, he lifted his huge head and stared with groggy eyes as if to imply — Put another dollar in the scratch machine.
A jerk of a thumb and he got the message. Like a Slinky sliding over the edge of a staircase, he snorted and slipped forward, his front paws touching the floor before the rest followed in slow motion. “Oh that’s right, just take your good ol’ time. No, don’t mind me.” She grinned. The fire had almost gone out in the night so a thin layer of ice had formed on the windows. Even without curtains or blinds, the faint rays of sunrise wouldn’t offer light for at least another hour so it was pitch dark. She’d forgotten how chilly it could get even with extra layers. Kelly pushed aside the covers, stretched and turned on the LED bulb above her. Slipping her feet into a pair of slippers, Kelly rubbed her arms as she padded over to the fireplace to throw in a few more logs. A quick stoke of the dying embers and flames soon roared to life filling the cabin with heat and a warm glow.
Kelly hand pumped water from beneath the sink into a kettle and lifted the portable butane stove onto the counter. One click later, and a bright blue flame burst to life. She set the kettle on top. Boomer scratched at the hatch. “I hear you. The call of nature is calling me too.” That was the only downside to the lookout. In the summer months it was fine but when guests needed to use the bathroom in the winter they would have to don their winter gear and trudge through heaps of snow to make it to the outhouse. Kelly snagged up her jacket, boots and snowshoes and got herself ready to brave the blustery weather.
After a bright sun burst over the horizon, several hours later, Kelly was finishing up her second cup of coffee. In front of her, a cursor blinked with no text on the screen.
Ugh.
The words just weren’t there. Two years earlier, her first novel, A Call to War, had flowed out of her like a river. Nothing could have stopped it. It really was like catching lightning in a bottle. She’d tried to think what she’d done differently. Was it the writing location? A certain drink she’d consumed? The time spent in front of the computer? The outline? She was baffled by it all. There hadn’t been one day she was blocked when she wrote it, but now… now it was like someone had turned off the faucet of creativity. Nora believed she was capable of doing it again but Kelly had her doubts.
Between the constant stress of living with Cole, and the expectations of readers and the publishing world, she’d all but given up on the idea of writing another novel. Instead, she envisioned herself disappearing into seclusion like J.D. Salinger or ceasing to write for years like Harper Lee. Who would care? In her eyes she was a one-hit wonder. She imagined herself trudging around in a smelly bathrobe, muttering incoherently under her breath while driving ten feet down the driveway and back again just to collect mail.
Mail. Now that was a beast she didn’t even want to think about.
After the release of A Call to War, she’d accumulated a mountain of fan mail almost overnight — most were from genuine folk, good people who wanted to thank her and express their appreciation, and she loved reading them… but, like any endeavor, every now and again a bad apple would make its way into the bunch. Nora said it was par for the course now that she was a bestselling author. She didn’t mind but it was a little disturbing, especially at book signing events.
Her phone beside the charger lit up and vibrated. Although there was no Wi-Fi, and cellular service was spotty at best, occasionally her cell would catch a signal.
Kelly scooped it up. “Hey Mom.”
“Hi darling. I thought you were going to call me when you arrived?”
“Sorry, I got busy talking to Erin and then I couldn’t get a signal.”
“You know I worry about you being up there.”
“I know you do. Look, I’m fine. I’m trying to get started on this book and—”
“Nora called,” she said cutting her off. “I gave her your number.”
“I know, we spoke.”
“Good. Nice lady, a bit hyper but overall nice.”
Kelly smiled as she got up and refilled her cup with more hot coffee. Steam spiraled up as she poured it in, its nutty aroma awakening her senses.
“Look, I have some bad news. I just wanted to tell you that Adam won’t be coming up. I’m afraid he’s been called into the base. He wanted me to let you know.”
She poured in milk. “You’re joking? It’s been two years since I’ve seen him and he couldn’t phone to tell me himself?”
“Speak to him. I’m just passing on the message.” Her mother continued. “So have you given any more thought to what we talked about?”
“Mom, I just got up here.”
“I understand but…” She sighed. “I just know how busy you get with your work and a week will turn into a month and before you know it—”
“The world will end,” Kelly added, chuckling. She returned to the table and cursed the blinking cursor under her breath. “Mom, I haven’t forgotten. I’m thinking about it. I just need some time. Okay?”
“Are you sure you’re okay? Do you need anything?”
“Mom, I’m good. If I need anything I will let you know. Besides, I can always run into town and get it myself.”
Her mother grumbled. “Maybe I should come up instead.”
“Mom.”
“Okay. Just checking. Anyway, I’ll—”
The line crackled and then went dead.
Kelly sighed, ran a hand over her brow and looked at Boomer. He yawned as he rose from his lap of luxury by the fire and ambled over to the wall where his leash hung on a rusty nail. He pulled it off, returned and dropped it at her feet, then sat on his haunches staring at her. Her lip curled as she drummed the table with her fingers. “If walking you was the answer, I would have multiple books finished by now.” She laughed and snatched up the leash. “All right. C’mon. Let’s go.” Boomer bounded around, excitement getting the better of him. “Whoa, whoa, slow your ass down.”
On the ground, Kelly broke into a jog keeping Boomer at her side. She’d forgotten how much she loved to get outdoors. Running had been a way of life to her, a habit ingrained from her involvement in cross-country in high school. Even after leaving she’d continued to put in a few miles a day — making it a way of life — but like many things she’d enjoyed before marrying Cole, it was soon pushed to the back burner. His irrational distrust and need to control had stopped her from going out with friends, visiting family or doing simple things like joining a gym or running. Of course he never told her directly to stop but he didn’t need to — it was all a psychological game with him, a back and forth of mood swings that put her on edge, made her sick to her stomach and daily filled her with worry.
Snow fell around her, ice crystals getting in her face. The only sound was of powdery snow crunching beneath her boots. She liked the sensation of snow, the way it sank beneath her boots and supported her at times. Unlike the treadmill she once owned, she felt like she got a better workout being in nature. It also made her mind come alive, perhaps, that would kickstart her writing.