The Billionaire Lesbian

by Jessi Loveless

  The dream blurs, fading to black, but my heart continues to race like it's going to explode. There are arms around me and a soft voice in my ear. Haley holds me, saying soothing words that don't register. I'm not fully awake, but I'm not asleep. I'm caught in between. I feel Haley's warm skin on my arms. She holds on to me with her face nuzzled in my neck. My cheeks are cold and damp like I've been crying forever. I wish it would stop, but it never does. Drowsiness overtakes me and pulls me back under, but I don't dream.

  The next time my eyes open I notice the darkness has been replaced by light coming in through the window. I stretch out my body, noticing there's more space in the bed than there should be. I sit up and look around to see that I'm alone.

  "Haley?" I call out.

  A piece of paper on the nightstand catches my eye. I grab it, it's a note from Haley telling me she had to go home. I'm disappointed, but I'm glad she left before I woke up I don't have to explain to her where I'm going or why. I look at the clock and jump out of bed in a frenzy.

  I text Tommy on my way out the door. He replies back a few minutes later informing me that everything is in place.

  Harrison drives me to the airport where I board my private jet to California.

  I call Haley half way into my flight.

  "Hello." She says.

  "Hey, I'm gonna miss lunch, I have a meeting out of town today." I say.

  "Okay. Well be safe." She says.

  This is where one of us should say bye and hang up, but neither one of us do.

  "Thank you," I finally say.

  "For what?"

  I press my lips together. I don't want to say it, but I should.

  "For last night. I know you woke me up and calmed me down. I kind of suck at that. So thank you."

  "You're welcome Jessica." She says.

  "I guess I'll talk to you later." I say.

  "Okay, bye Jessica."

  "Bye."

  I hit the end button on my phone and take a deep breath. I run my finger across the small scar on my neck and think. I hate that I'm keeping secrets from Haley again, but I don't want to fight with her about what I'm about to do. After today we'll both be safe.

  My nightmare from last night returns and I shutter. I'll protect Haley and myself with my life if I have to.

  When we land there's a rental car waiting for me, just as I asked Tommy to do for me. I text Tommy again and tell him I'm on my way.

  I stop at an abandoned warehouse and go inside. My heart is pounding.

  "Your good to go Jessica." Tommy says when I get to him.

  "Jessica?" That voice.

  My spine straightens. Every little hair on my neck stands on end. I look around for him. My fight or flight kicks in and my feet want to run, but fear holds me. It's the same voice from my nightmares. It's a voice that I'll never forget.

  I spot him, Tommy has him tied to a chair. He can't touch me I remind myself.

  "We found this on him Jessica." Tommy says holding out his hand.

  I take it from him, and I'm suddenly aware of how much air I'm breathing, and the way my skin is prickling. Little bumps form on my arms when I see the knife Hoyt used to use on me.

  I move closer to Hoyt, ready to end this. Hoyt gives me a smile that makes my blood run cold. It's the same look he had in his eye before he...I push away the memories, but they won't be tamed. I'm suddenly there again, letting him use me however he wants. I feel the pain from the knife sear my neck like he just did it. I shiver and try to force them back, but I can't, not with Hoyt right here.

  "Nice way to say hello. You were always a bit of a bitch, weren't you?" His eyes drop to my neck and he grins.

  "It scarred." He says, looking back into my eyes.

  I can't. I can't. I can't, is replaying over and over again in my mind, but I say nothing. I'm frozen.

  "Fun times, huh, Janie?" His eyes sweep over my body and it feels as if I've been raped all over again.

  That's when I move. I step forward and open the blade.

  "Remember this?" I flick it close to his face. He tries to get away. There's nowhere to go.

  "Yeah, you want me to use it on you?"

  I laugh, but there's no joy in it.

  "I remember all the times you used it on me, all the things you did."

  I touch the knife to his throat as I speak, pressing the tip into his neck deeper and deeper. The last string that was holding me together has come undone.

  Hoyt starts swearing at me, threatening all kinds of things. I twist the point and watch a bead of red drip down his neck.

  "Now we match." I say.

  My eyes flick to his. I feel the tension in my arm, the need to release the energy and fear, inside of me.

  That's when I hear her voice. It moves through the shadows toward me. At first I think I'm hallucinating, then I actually see Haley.

  "Jessica stop." She says.

  But I can't move. I grip the knife tighter, thinking that Haley will try to take it away. I don't wonder why she's here or how she found me. I see flashes of silver and think the blade is on me. I act like I'm the one being attacked and I can't stop. I don't want to stop.

  "He used this on me, this same blade. He scarred me inside and out."

  "I know he did." Haley is next to me, but she doesn't touch my arm. "But this isn't the right thing to do."

  The sound of my breath fills my head. I feel like I'm in control, but I'm not. I can't think, I can't blink. I'm locked in place, staring down the man who ruined my life.

  I press the blade deeper.

  "Jessica please." Haley says, pleading with me.

  I pull back and the knife moves off of Hoyt's neck, He inhales sharply. Emotions violently slam into me, so hard that I'm shaking as I move away from him, I'm forced to bend at the waist as my body tries to expel the contents of my stomach, but there isn't anything there, so I dry heave.

  Haley holds my back and speaks softly to me. Her words float by my ears, but I don't understand her. I'm letting the bastard go. After all the years of searching and waiting for the right moment, I'm going to let him walk out of here, but I can't.

  "I have to end this. I can't have him..." I trail off as I try to get back up. Haley's breath is on my neck.

  "You'll never see him again. I promise. Give me the knife." Haley slips her hand over mine as she speaks and closes her palm over mine. She gently takes it out of my hand.

  "I'll take care of this. Get her out of here." I hear Harrison's voice.

  Someone's holding me up but I don't know who. Haley has stepped towards Tommy to give the knife back to him. I look up into the face of Arthur Isles.

  "What the hell." I say.

  "She cares about you." He gestures towards Haley. "I can't let you get yourself in trouble for her sake Roven."

  Arthur starts pulling me away.

  "Wait." I choke out. But Arthur doesn't stop.

  We are back on the plane before I realize it. I don't even remember the car ride.

  I slip into the seat and let fear silence me.

  Their voices finally make it through to me. Haley is still speaking softly to me Arthur is speaking to Tommy and I haven't heard Harrison voice since the warehouse.

  "I'm so sorry Jessica." I hear Haley say for the tenth time since I finally started listening again.

  "Don't apologize. I hate it when people apologize. It doesn't change anything! I yell, startling everyone Including myself. Haley looks as if I slapped her with a board, sitting rigid in the seat, shaking her head in a yes motion.

  Chapter 14

  Haley's point of view.

  I don't say anything else to Jessica after her outburst. I understand why she's mad, and I don't blame her. I just wish I knew what to do now.

  When Angela called me at work this morning and gave me Tommy's number, and told me it was important that I get ahold of him I knew today wouldn't be as great as yesterday. I just didn't know it was going to end up like this.

  When the plane lands, we gre
et Charlie who's been waiting on us since we left. We all climb in my fathers car. Jessica doesn't say a word to anyone, and wish I could read the expression on her face.

  We stop at Angela's and Tommy is the only one to get out, I want to stay with Jessica. I tell him thank you as he steps out. If it wasn't for him we wouldn't have been able to stop Jessica today. Jessica and Tommy share a look, and I know they will have words soon.

  Jessica and I get out at her place.

  "Call me tomorrow." My dad says before I shut the door.

  "I will." I say.

  Jessica places her hand at the small of my back and leads me forward. When we get in the elevator Jessica turns towards me.

  She stays silent, but she looks like she wants to say something.

  "I was only trying to help you." I whisper.

  The look on her face turns angry, like she's lost some battle of self control within herself.

  "You took the only chance I had at ending this nightmare away from me."

  She takes a few steps towards me, and I step backwards. I lean against the elevator wall as she locks her arms on each side of me.

  She shakes her head as if she's having a conversation with herself, and her expression softens slowly as she looks at me. She drops her arms, and looks away from me. She doesn't look back at me again as the elevator continues rising up to her floor.

  When we walk out of the elevator and into Jessica's apartment she walks ahead of me, lays her phone on the table in the living room as she walks by to get the the stairs.

  "Jessica, please talk to me." I say.

  "Don't go looking to pick a fight with me, Haley. Seriously. I am not in the mood."

  "Im not trying to fight I just want to talk, maybe it'll help."

  Jessica ignores me and continues to walk away.

  I grab her phone without thinking. Without meaning to, I'm not even aware of it until its too late to do anything about it, and I hurl her phone at her. Hard. And I miss.

  Jessica spins back around to face me.

  "Have you lost your fucking mind?" She demands. It suddenly seems like I have.

  Her anger makes me crumple. Heat floods my cheeks.

  "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to throw your phone i really didn't." I say.

  She throws her hands up like she is done with this conversation.

  "I'm going to sleep." She turns back towards the stairs, and I grab her arm.

  "Haley. Seriously. Enough." Its a patronizing tone. An indication that she thinks I am irrational and annoying. I don't let go.

  "Jessica please talk to me, yell at me again if you have to, but please don't shut me out."

  In a second she's got a hold of me and has me pinned to the wall, and she kisses me roughly.

  My body's on fire, my skin tingles all over, my stomach is doing flips the second her mouth touches mine. I try to catch my breath but she doesn't give me long before her hand slips between my thighs under my skirt and she moves my moist panties to one side and her fingers move inside me.

  I bury my head in her shoulder but she grabs my hair and pulls my head back so that I'm forced to look at her.

  "Talking doesn't help." She whispers, and I can't reply.

  She goes faster and faster, too fast. I can barely breath, I can't get enough air but my body can't get enough of her. I feel it coming on faster and faster. Her fingers cause the most perfect pleasure. I cant hold it back anymore. My hips buck and i come hard. The force of it leaves me quivering and whimpering in her arms. She pulls her fingers out of me and wraps her arms around me pulling me as close to her as possible.

  When my breathing slows I take everything in. We are so close that I can feel a bulge at my stomach. I've never noticed this before, but she's always kept that part of her body away from me. I move my body against her and hear her sharp intake of air. Her jaw clenches, and she moves her body away from me, but keeps me trapped against the wall.

  I look into her eyes, and the pain I see in them makes me want to help her with whatever she has to go through, and I will be here for her when she's ready, but not when she's like this.

  "I'm leaving, Jessica." I whisper.

  "What?" She asks, as if she didn't hear me.

  "Please let me go."

  "You can't be mad that I don't tell you every fucking detail on my mind?" She snarls.

  "That's not what this is about, and you know it!" I say, feeling my throat start to burn. "I just...I want you to let me in, I want to try to break down this emotional wall you have between us right now."

  "If I don't want to talk to you, you should respect my decision." She says.

  "That's not how a relationship works Jessica. It feels like we take a step forward, and you run two steps back."

  "When I first met you, this was how I was. This is who I am, and I'm going to be like this tomorrow. You knew this when you met me! You accepted it then. I never promised you anything different. Don't turn shit around now."

  "You think I'm going to accept that?"

  "Why not? Why do you focus on shit that isn't important? At the end of the day, all other bullshit aside, I'm here with you!" She yells.

  "Because I'm trying Jessica!" I shout back at her in disbelief.

  Her hard frown softens, I wait for her to say something else, but she doesn't. I guess she really doesn't have to, what else can she say?

  "Let me go." I growl, as I try to push her away.

  "You're kidding." She lets out a light laugh. That sends me over the edge.

  "Let me go now!" I yell so loud that I surprise myself. "Jessica, I swear to God, if you don't let me go right now.."

  "The next time you tell me you're leaving, you wont be coming back." She says coldly.

  Before I am aware of what I'm doing, my hand lifts, she knows it is coming. I see the recognition as I close in on her face, but she doesn't stop me. instead, she lets my palm connect with her cheek in a loud crack.

  Her eyes peer into mine with a warning look, and my heart is beating out of control. Its unclear what her next move will be. This is the first time I've truly been afraid of her.

  "I'm sorry. I just… I can't…"

  She lets me go.

  I scramble to get to the elevator. I never should have come here tonight.

  The doors open before I press the button and Angela is standing there, Tommy must have told her to come.

  Angela looks back and fourth between the two of us torn between staying here with her daughter or following me out.

  "Take her home, Ma." Jessica says.

  "Jessica." I say softly, purposefully erasing the contempt that laced my voice just a few minutes before. I don't think she should be alone.

  She looks at me, the expression on her face is set in a hard frown.

  "Take her home." She repeats herself, and then she turns her back on the both of us.

  Chapter 15

  Haley's point of view.

  I get dressed slowly the next morning, and I wonder if it's too late to turn things around. Is it too late for her to break the hard mold shes created around herself? I want to fix this, us, her. But is she fixable? I take a deep breath and finish getting dressed. I glance in the mirror, assessing my appearance. I still look tired even after applying a bit of makeup, but there's nothing I can do about it.

  I leave the bathroom and go into the kitchen where Angela is sitting down with a cup of coffee in hand. She smiles as I enter.

  "Let me get you some coffee." she says quickly. I start to protest, but realize it's easier to just accept it.

  I sit down.

  I take the cup she offers, and she sits down next to me.

  "Do you want to talk?" She asks.

  I don't know she if she will understand. She'll probably think I am silly or over emotional if I told her how I really felt.

  "Haley, you can tell me anything." Angela says reassuringly.

  I sigh, and look at my cup.

  "When Jessica and I first met, it was like… it was like I was d
reaming. She was this mysterious, intelligent woman. All that I could ask for. I'd never felt as attracted to anyone as I was to her. My hormones took control, and left my brain behind."

  I look awkwardly at Angela, who has a small smile on her face.

  "Go on." She says clasping her hands.

  "It was like I wasn't living in the real world. It was just us. In the real world, I wouldn't just go with someone I barely knew without asking any questions. But with Jessica, I basically knew nothing about her, and I didn't care. Because though I didn't know facts, I thought, well, I felt like we were connected. And then I found out about Charles Hoyt and her condition, and she really opened up to me, and I told her things that I've never told anyone." I pause, reflecting on last week with Jessica during our lunch hours that I'd revealed all my soul. Her eyes on me as if I were the only person in the world.

  "Her eyes… those eyes were what I fell in love with first. They're what makes me forgive her a thousand times over." My jaw drops as I realize what I've just said out loud.

  I look at Angela. She's smiling.

  "I just need to..." I trail off as Jessica comes into the kitchen. Did she sleep here? I didn't hear her come in the front door.

  Her face is expressionless, as she glances at me.

  "I don't…" I begin, but she holds a hand up, stopping me mid sentence.

  "I'm not doing this with you today. If you want to fight, stay here and argue with yourself." She says disdainfully. I look at her standing there expressionless.

  I think of how she has the nerve to stroll up as if all this is my fault. I want to throw a fit and yell at her. I fight every urge inside of me to smack her across the face again.

  "Let's go." She orders me, I stand. And I hate myself for moving so quick at her demand.

  We don't say anything to each other on the ride there or in the elevator. When it stops at my floor, Jessica doesn't even look at me as I step out.

  I work through a few new projects i have on my desk for the rest of the morning.

  During my lunch hour I go up to Jessica's floor, her office door is still shut. Susan, Jessica's secretary is sitting at her desk, and I go to her.

  "Hey." Susan glances up.