The Billionaire Lesbian
Page 17
"I'm intersex."
"Would you describe what intersex means for the people who don't know?"
"Intersex is used to describe people who are born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that does not fit the typical definition of female or male."
"What characteristics make you intersex?"
"I was born with male genitals."
"Ms. Roven, do you recall the first time Mr. Hoyt touched you inappropriately?"
"Yes."
"To the best of your memory, can you tell is exactly what happened?"
My stomach turn, and I squeeze my eyes shut. "Yes." I gulp. "At first he just asked about my condition, he was very interested in it." I take a deep breath and swallow hard. I can hear the blood pumping in my ears. Clenching my hands into fists, I continue. "But after a few sessions he started to touch me over my clothes."
"Can you tell us where?"
"My genitals."
"When did it go further than just touching you over your clothes?"
"The next session."
"Will you tell us what happened at your next session?"
I clench my jaw, and open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I look over at Haley, who nods and smiles reassuringly. I look back to Sarah and answer her question.
I answer every question Sarah asks about what Hoyt did to me. When the hard part is finished she goes a different direction.
"Ms. Roven, why did it take you so long to come forward?"
It must seem odd to people that I hadn't spoken out earlier, but I knew this isn't unusual for someone who'd suffered abuse.
"I was scared." I whisper.
"And what changed your mind?"
"I didn't want to go through the rest of my life afraid of him."
Sarah turns to the judge. "No further questions. Your Honor."
As soon as I step outside the room, I feel a rush of oxygen fill my lungs. I close my eyes and concentrate on relaxing my body, which is knotted with tension.
"You did great, Jessica." Sarah says softly. "I think your family is waiting for us outside the door." She squeezes the top of my arm and smiles. "You really did do well. You should be so proud of yourself."
"Thank you. Let's go meet them." I follow Sarah out of the room and into the hallway. My mother, brothers, and Haley are waiting for me. I stop and try to force a smile onto my face.
Frankie grabs me first, pulling me into a tight hug. "You did amazing in there, I'm so proud of you."
I clench my shaking hands around his back.
Tommy hugs me next, practically pulling me out of Fankie's arms. I sink into my brothers embrace feeling safe and protected.
"You're okay now." He whispers in my ear. I am, almost.
I pull away from Tommy and Ma looks at me. Her whole posture is tense and her jaw is clenched. I know she is struggling with what she heard in there. Later I will need to sit down and talk to her, apologize.
She hugs me. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." She mumbles.
"For what?"
"For letting that happen to you. I should have known. I should have stopped it."
"Dont. None of it was your fault. Please don't ever blame yourself. It's going to be okay now." I say, even though we've gone over this before.
"Okay?" She repeats.
"It has to be. I won't be the victim anymore."
She shakes her head, staring at me.
"You're amazing. I don't know how you can be so calm. I want to kill him."
I shrug. "I tried that."
She almost smiles as her eyes flickers in shock, and I laugh.
I step away from my mother to find Haley. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I push past everyone that is in between us. We don't say anything to each other when I get to her, but she puts her arms around me and my heart opens up and I feel it all. Every single emotion that's ever been inside me starts pumping through my veins. The good, the bad, the painfulness, the heartache, the loneliness, the happiness, the need, the knowing that there's more out there to life than what I grew up with, for the first time in my life, I feel it all and tell myself that in the end, i'll still be okay.
"Ready to get out of here?" She asks.
"Definitely."
Chapter 32
Jessica's point of view.
Hoyt's lawyer, Oliver Maxwell, is such an intimidating man. He makes me feel like a child. His face is hard with angular lines. Everything about him screams i'm going to break you.
Frankie and Tommy didn't say much yesterday after watching Hoyt on the stand with Maxwell, and I wonder if that's a good thing or bad thing.
Maxwell steps in front of me. He isn't even that close, but it feels as if he is just an inch from my face. I look at him straight on.
"Ms. Roven, you said the alleged abuse lasted for three years, until you stopped seeing him?"
Being on the stand means that I am slightly higher than him, so I use that to my advantage and straighten my back, forcing him to look up at me.
"That's correct." I say.
"You also claim that if you didn't do as Mr. Hoyt asked he would cut you with his knife, is that correct?"
"Yes." I reply.
Without blinking, he fires off the next question.
"If that's true how did you hide it? Did your mother take you to and from your sessions?"
"She did at first, but she had to work a lot, so I walked there and back most time. And he'd make sure they weren't visible."
He starts walking towards the jury. "So you could have stopped going long before you did and your mother never would have know?"
"Yes." I say cautiously, knowing this can't be leading anywhere good.
"I see. Why did you keep going?"
"He said I had to."
"Because you said he would threaten you. Is that correct?"
"Yes."
"Between the start of the alleged abuse and when you stopped seeing Mr. Hoyt you could have something about it. Is that correct?"
"Yes, I guess I…"
"Why didn't you?" He fires before I can finish.
"I was terrified of him."
"Ms. Roven, did your mother pay you a lot of attention when you were a child?"
What kind of question is that?
"Yes, of course." I say.
He nods and swiftly moves to his next question.
"Did you like it when she paid attention to you?"
"Yes."
"Mmm. And when you had to go to therapy you liked the attention you got, didn't you?"
My face falls. That's where he is going.
"No, that's not how it was."
Patronising, word twisting bastard. I think.
"You just said you liked the attention, and you never stopped going even though you knew you could."
"No." I growl through my teeth. Sarah looks up and widens her eyes, warning me to remain calm. I need to, but I can't help it.
Keeping calm is almost impossible. I hate that anyone can even suggest I am lying about it. All I ever wanted was a happy, normal childhood. I never wanted any of this.
"I didn't keep going to get my mother's attention." I whisper, and look to the jury. Please believe me.
Maxwell turns on his heel and takes a few steps towards the jury. He has been walking around the whole time. He seems so at ease here, as if this is his house and we are his guests.
"Are you bringing these claims against Mr. Hoyt now to get attention?"
My heart drops to my feet. I know what they are trying to say. No one will believe me, it'll be just like he said. Doing this was a mistake. A stray tear rolls down my cheek, and I angrily wipe it away. I am so stupid.
I look at him coldly. "If that's what you think you're naive or ignorant, or I don't know
what."
Sarah stands up. "Can we please have a five minute break."
Maxwell turns towards the judge.
"We don't need a break, I have no further questions your Honor."
Jordan, Sarah's colleague, comes over
to me and gestures towards the exit.
"Follow me please." I step down and follow him into the room Sarah brought me in before.
"What now?" I ask Jordan.
"I'm not sure. We'll just have to wait for Sarah. Can I get you something?
"No." I say.
"Jessica." Sarah says when she comes in a few minutes later. "You did great in there, but I am going to have to show those photographs now."
I nod and run my fingers through my hair. "I know."
The next day the crowd inside the courtroom seems to have grown and the looks they give me are worse than ever. There really is no need for me to be here. I had testified, given my performance and there was nothing left I could do.
I take the seat next to Haley while my mother speaks with Sarah. I don't care to know about their conversation.
Hoyt doesn't look at me as he enters the courtroom, but I stare at him. He seems to have changed overnight. The confidence is gone and he looks at the ground. He still doesn't appear remorseful. Not that I have ever expected him to feel that way.
The guard un-cuffs Hoyt's hands and he twist his wrists to regain the lost feeling. He looks at the clerk of the court while he swears his oath. It isn't until he starts to take his seat that I feel Haley's hand cover mine. I look down and realize I have been gripping her arm tight enough for it to turn bright red. I glance at her and give her an apologetic smile which she returns with a skeptical frown.
"I'm fine." I whisper.
"We can leave." She reminds me.
I shake my head and take her hand, careful not to squeeze too tight. But as I turn my attention back to Hoyt I know my grip must feel like a vise. He's staring right at me. I blink, just once, mostly out of pure shock. Even though we are surrounded by people, even though he's being judged by hundreds of eyes, and even though he knows it's wrong, he allows this short moment to pass between us. I know he can read my face like a neon billboard sign, I know he senses the fear in me.
I have to use every last bit of my willpower to keep myself from leaving the courtroom as Sarah cross examines Hoyt.
"Mr. Hoyt." Sarah starts. "How did you feel when you first heard the claims Jessica Roven brought against you?"
"Devastated. Shocked. Confused." He speaks fluently and calmly.
"Why?"
Hoyt nods and very swiftly replies. "I felt like we had a bond."
"What do you mean when you say bond?"
"It's not unethical for me to form some kind of bond with my clients. spending so much time with them, it's easy to do."
"So you formed a bond with a twelve year old girl?"
Charles smiles his award winning smile. "She needed one on one time, every child does, but Jessica was different I think she craved the attention because of her situation at home. She had siblings, her parents were divorcing because of her, she just needed someone to give her attention."
"Liar." I growl under my breath, and Haley squeezes my hand.
"When she decided to stop seeing you how did that affect you?"
"It was difficult to say the least. I was desperate to help her and I put everything into finding out why she didn't want my help anymore. I lost work because I was so preoccupied in finding out why. I didn't know how to help. I've not had a full night's sleep since she stopped seeing me."
"Probably worrying I would say something." I mutter in disgust under my breath.
"Mr. Hoyt, did you sexually abuse her?"
"No." Hoyt replies, appalled. "Absolutely not."
I stand from my seat and walk to the doors of the courtroom I can't sit here and listen to anymore of his lies.
I find a bench outside the courtroom and sit to wait on Haley, and my mother. It takes Haley only a few minutes to follow me out, she sits and holds my hand until my mother comes out.
Both Sarah and Maxwell do their closing arguments over the course of the next couple of days, but I don't go. I had seen and heard enough. I'm ready for all this to be over.
Into the following week Haley and I go to my mother's house while we wait for Sarah to call us while we wait for the jury to come to a decision.
"How are you doing, honey?" Ma asks, she hasn't moved an inch since we sat down. It's as if she is made of stone.
"Um, I don't know." I answer honestly.
Ma nods, and Haley grips my hand, and we fall silent again. I feel sick.
Three hours later, Sarah calls. In that time we had quietly drank too many hot drinks and entered in a few light conversations.
"The jury has reached their decision." Sarah tells me over the phone.
"Already?" I say, and jump up.
"Yes, are you going to be here for that?" She asks.
"Of course, we'll be there soon." I say, and hang up.
We head towards the door, but before I can step out Ma pulls me into a hug
"No matter what happens, it'll be fine." She tells me.
"Yes, it will be." I say, and for the first time I truly believe it.
When we get to the courthouse we walk with Sarah into the courtroom. She quickly runs through what will happen and how the judge will ask for the jury's decision on each individual charge.
We take our seats. I sit between Haley and Ma.
"Have the ladies and gentlemen of the jury reached their decision?" The judge asks, her voice business like and intimidating.
A tall lady with long grey hair and bright lipstick stands up.
"Yes, we have, your Honor." I take a deep breath. My palms start to sweat.
"On the charge of causing or inciting child prostitution or pornograhy, how do you find the defendant?"
"Guilty."
The air leaves my lungs in a rush.
"On the charge of holding indecent photographs of a child, how do you find the defendant."
"Guilty."
"On the charge of abuse of position of trust, causing or inciting a child to engage in sexual activity, how do you find the defendant?"
"Guilty."
"On the charge of sexual assault on a child, how do you find the defendant?"
"Guilty."
I let out a breath that I feel like i've been holding in for years. Guilty on all charges. The jury believed me.
I dont know whos arms come around me because I am too busy staring at Hoyt as he is being led away. He looks up, our eyes meet, and there is nothing. His expression is empty. My heart is beating at a hundred miles an hour and I want to run, but I hold his gaze, refusing to back down.
"Honey?" Ma whispers.
"It's okay now, Ma." I whisper back.
Chapter 33
Haley's point of view.
Seven Months Later.
I'm in labor. My water broke right in the middle of a restaurant. Jessica left me standing because she lost her ever loving mind when she saw that it was time. Her face turned white as snow and her mouth fell open. She stared at me like the baby was going to come out at any moment.
She comes back a second later, and takes my hand. She leads me out to her car, her hands shaking as she does so. She opens the car door and when she goes to help me in I bend over as the first contraction hits.
"Oh shit, is that suppose to happen?" She asks, wandering her hands all over my body like she can fix it and it irritates me.
"Get your hands off of me." I hiss and glare at her.
She jumps back holding her hands up in the air. "But, I need to help you in the car." She tries to reason with me. Sighing, I lift my arms so she can help me.
Once I'm sitting on the soft leather seats I lean back to relax. Jessica runs across the front of the vehicle and jumps in. She puts the key in the ignition and leaves the parking lot as fast as she can.
Another contraction hits, and I grip my stomach and hold my hand against the window.
"I'm sorry." Jessica says, and tries to take my hand, but I jerk away again.
I groan as the contraction starts to fade. Jessica doesn't say anything else and I start to feel bad.
"I'm
sorry, Jessica. It just really hurts." I tell her.
"I know." Jessica says, and I see the bright lights of the hospital up ahead, as I feel another contraction start to build.
I grab Jessica's hand and squeeze. Maybe a little too hard because she tries to pull away.
When we pull into the hospital parking lot Jessica holds her injured hand, and opens the car door and runs inside to get a wheelchair, nurse, or whatever.
"Push!" The doctor yells at me eight long hours later.
9, 8, 7, the nurse counts down for the umpteenth time. Jessica is holding my hand with one hand while the other is holding my leg back.
"You're doing great Haley." Jessica kisses my sweat covered forehead.
I bit my lip at the pain. Tears run down my face. "One last time." The doctor says. "Push."
The nurse counts down again, and then I feel when the baby leaves my body.
"It's a boy!" The doctor says, and then she places him on my stomach and I start to laugh, I touch his little forehead. God, he's so beautiful.
I look up at Jessica, and she leans down and kisses my temple. "He's beautiful, just like you." She says.
Hours later after Jessica's family leaves and it's just us again, I watch Jessica with our son. She's holding him against her chest with a content smile on her face. When he starts to stir and cry, Jessica sits on the edge of my bed with me, and I grab his bottle and hand it to Jessica. I run my finger across his chubby cheeks, as Jessica feeds him.
"We make beautiful babies, Haley." Jessica tells me in amazement as she looks down at him.
"Yes we do." I say, as I watch Jessica with him.
"What are we going to name him?" Jessica asks a few minutes later.
"I was thinking Theodore."
Jessica's face crunches up. "I don't like it."
"We'll be here until he's in high school at this rate." I say.
"We'll figure it out." She says.
Jessica's point of view.
Six weeks later.
"No." Haley whines. "I'm so tired." She slides her arm from over her eyes with a smile on her lips.
"It's okay, i'll get him" I say.
"Have I ever told you how much I love you?"
I kiss Haley on her bare stomach before I throw on a pair of sweats and walk down the hall to Theo's room.
"How's my little man?" I stare down at my perfect six week old son in his crib. His hair is dark like mine, but his eyes are the same as Haley's. I lose a piece of my heart everytime I look at him.