“Will be staying for a short time, then going back home. She’ll be coming back—”
Damn, Alicia thought. She hadn’t even told Charles about the baby yet but she figured since her aunt was here she may as well get it over with. Straightening her spine, she plunged ahead.
“Aunt Margaret, there’s something else I need to tell you.”
The older woman sighed. “I’m almost afraid to ask.”
“I also found Blake, well, Daniel.”
“Do not say that name in this house!” her aunt spewed, coming to her feet. “He broke Anna’s heart when he left. I will not have his name spoken in her home!”
Alicia came to her feet as well. Despite how it had ended, she loved Blake and this was her house now. She’d speak his name if she wanted to.
“Anna loved Blake, Aunt Margaret, and what happened to Eric wasn’t Blake’s fault. It was an accident and he’s sorry.”
“It is too late for pathetic excuses! She went to her death bed sick over losing her sons and I will never forgive him for that!”
“He’s your nephew.”
Rage dripped from her aunt. “No, he is not, not any longer.”
“Well, that’s unfortunate as he’s the father of the child I’m carrying.”
Aunt Margaret swooned. Alicia grabbed her arm, guided her to a chair, and helped her sit. Since her aunt seemed incapable of speech, Alicia did the talking.
“I’m expecting Blake’s child and I plan on raising the baby while I continue to work at the blacksmith shop, both before and after the birth.”
Her aunt’s mouth moved but it took more than one try before any words came out.
“Where is he?”
“Blake? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, he’s not coming back.”
“Well then,” she said, composing herself with incredible speed, “we’ll act quickly. You’ll come live with me, and when you start to show, we’ll keep you inside and out of sight until the child is born. I’ll tell everyone you’ve gone to spend time with your sister. Then, once the baby comes, we’ll find someone to take it and nobody will be the wiser.”
Alicia gasped. “I’m not going into hiding and I’m not giving away this child.”
“It doesn’t have a father and you don’t have a husband.”
“You’re wrong. My baby has a father, a wonderful one. And I’ll make sure he knows it when he gets older.”
“This man you find so decent bedded you and left you, and you’re going to parade that fact every day?” Her aunt looked pained. “I’m not surprised at Daniel’s behavior as it is not the first time he has proven himself selfish. But you,” she sputtered, looking down her long nose at Alicia, “have shamed this family and I am thoroughly disgusted.”
“I can’t help how you feel, but I am not ashamed. This child will be given Blake’s name and it will be loved. If you cannot accept that, then you’re welcome to leave.”
Alicia had never seen her aunt look so ill. “Do you have any idea how difficult this will be for you, being unwed and with child? Everyone will think you’re a—a—a whore,” she sputtered.
The word wasn’t unexpected, but it hurt. And because she knew it was the first of many times she was going to hear it, she decided to make her stand straightaway.
“Then so be it. But you’re forgetting I’ve been through hard times before. This isn’t the first trial I’ve had to survive and I’m certain it won’t be the last. Just as I am equally certain that I can weather it. I’ve never been concerned with what people think of me.”
“Yes,” her aunt sneered. “I’ve been painfully aware of that.”
“I loved Jacob and Anna and they gave me a wonderful life. I will forever be grateful to them, and their grandchild will know the wonderful people it comes from.”
“Do not dare put yourself and Blake, or Daniel, or whatever he decides to call himself, in the same lot as Anna! She would be horrified to know you’re unmarried and with child.”
Seeing no reason to argue further, Alicia went to the door and opened it. The happy chirping of the birds outside was a sharp contrast to the storm of emotions that swirled inside.
“Please leave. And don’t come back until you can find it in your heart to accept both me and this child.”
Aunt Margaret huffed past Alicia, her head held at an unnaturally high angle. She stepped outside, then turned to Alicia.
“You have changed, and it is not for the better.”
“No, I haven’t. You’ve simply never been able to see me for who I am.”
And with nothing left to say, Alicia closed the door.
Twenty-Three
“I thought I’d find you here,” Sam said as she moved between the headstones. She sat on the grass next to Alicia, placed her bouquet of white flowers on the mound next to another bouquet, one of delicate blue blossoms.
Alicia looked from the carving that held the names of Jacob and Anna Davidson, to the intricate cross she’d made herself, to her sister.
“You didn’t even know them.”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t bring them flowers. Besides, they took such wonderful care of you, I feel it’s a way of saying thank you.”
“I keep thinking about what Aunt Margaret said, that they’d be disappointed in me. I can’t bear that thought. I loved them, and knowing they weren’t my real parents doesn’t change that.”
Sam rubbed Alicia’s back. “Of course it doesn’t,” she said.
Tears of shame filled Alicia’s eyes. The grass that had long since grown over the graves blurred into a carpet of green. “I keep seeing them in my head, Sam, and each time they’re so upset that they can’t even look at me.”
“That’s not you talking, that’s your aunt, and she’s wrong. I’m not saying they wouldn’t have had a moment of disappointment, but they found you, a complete stranger, and took you into their hearts and home. They loved you as their own. That doesn’t sound like the kind of people who would turn their backs on you at a time when you’d need them the most.”
Sam was right, and the truth of her words eased a weight she’d felt around her heart since the day her aunt had said those hateful things to her. Jacob and Anna would have cherished their grandchild the same way they’d cherished her, unconditionally.
Alicia drew a deep breath, wiped her wet cheeks. “Thanks, Sam. I needed to remember that.”
“That’s what sisters are for,” she said.
“Have I told you,” Alicia asked, looking into her sister’s eyes, “how grateful I am to have found you again?”
Sam smiled. “I think you’ve told me every day since you arrived in St. Kitts.”
“It’s all so extraordinary, isn’t it? What happened to us, how we came to find each other?”
“It’ll make an interesting bedtime story for your child.”
“That it will.”
Alicia lovingly touched the names on the carvings, then stood. Silently she and Sam meandered out of the graveyard. Though it wasn’t a deliberate destination, Alicia wasn’t surprised when they found themselves behind her house, on a small rise, looking down at a simple white cross.
“I always wondered who was buried here but all Jacob ever said was that it was a lost soul and that even lost souls deserved to be remembered. Somehow a part of me must have known, because I found myself here quite often.” Alicia smiled. “I brought her flowers even before I knew who she was.”
“She’s not lost anymore, Alicia, and neither is Father. When I come back for the baby, I’ll have their stones done and we’ll give them a proper ceremony. She won’t be a nameless cross any longer.”
Alicia nodded. Sam would be able to make lovely headstones from wood and planned to carve them with their parents’ names as well as a likeness of the Destiny, their father’s ship.
The blasted tears she’d come to loathe once again sprang to her eyes. Between the bouts of sickness, the tears that never seemed to dry, and the fact that Sam was leaving today, Alicia already
felt exhausted and it was only midmorning.
“Are you sure you can’t stay another few days?”
Sam bowed her head, then faced her sister.
“You know I’d love nothing better, but I’ll be back for the baby.”
Alicia’s heart pinched. “That seems such a long time.”
“It is, but I need to get back. I wish I could shelter you from what’s coming, but I can’t. Best I can do is to remind you to hold your head high. Words can’t hurt you.”
“They hurt Luke.”
Sam’s smile was troubled. “He told me he’d been by to talk to you.”
“He gave me a lot to think about, about what my child will face as he grows up.”
“It won’t be easy, not for either of you.”
Alicia sighed, reached down, and pulled out a few blades of grass. She toyed with them absently. “I know, and hearing it from Luke made it all worse. It’s one thing to think I know what will happen, but it’s another to hear it from someone who has lived it.”
“There will be ugly names thrown at both of you, people are going to shun you, and your child will have just as difficult a road.” Sam pressed her hand against Alicia’s. “I hate knowing you’ll be here alone, suffering through that, and there’s nothing I can do to help you.” She paused, gave Alicia a reassuring squeeze. “But Luke survived it and look at the man he is.” Pride coated Sam’s words, and made Alicia smile.
“He is a good man. I like him.”
Sam’s eyes sparkled. “As do I. And as I know he told you, the best you can do is love this child as the Davidsons loved you, completely and without reservation.”
“That’s easy, I already do.”
“That’s all you can do. Unfortunately we can’t help what other people say or think. Luke’s feelings toward his parentage didn’t come from the townsfolk, they came from his stepfather.”
“I don’t have any intention of marrying anyone else.”
“You’re young, that’ll change.”
“If something happened to Luke, could you replace him?”
Sam smirked. “No, of course not.”
“I wish Blake were here,” Alicia said. Not simply because it would make her life easier, but because she wished she could share this experience with the man she loved.
“You’ll have the shop and Charles, and a nursery to prepare. Besides, Aidan will keep you busy with his questions.”
“I think he’s still in shock that you agreed to let him stay.”
“It wasn’t my idea. But he asked, and Luke convinced me that letting Aidan stay here for a few months was going to be a good experience, that he’d learn a valuable skill.” Sam sighed. “It doesn’t seem that long ago that Aidan made me promise he could stay with me forever and already he’s wanting to let go.”
“That’s only because he’s secure enough in your love to know you’ll be there when he gets back.”
“Oh.” Sam nodded as her eyes shone with tears. “I’ll have to keep reminding myself of that for the next few months when I wish he was home. But,” she said and smiled, “I feel better knowing you won’t be alone. As he gets better, it will allow you to work less.” She eyed Alicia questioningly. “You will work less?”
Alicia smiled sweetly and Sam sighed.
“That’s what I thought.”
The first few weeks after Sam’s departure passed at a snail’s pace. Knowing her aunt would not announce her condition, Alicia had decided not to tell Charles and had convinced Aidan not to either. If Charles knew she was with child, then he’d argue against her decision to work, and work helped keep Alicia’s mind busy.
Her days were long, wanting to put in as much time at the shop as she could knowing her days of doing so were limited. Between her and Charles, Aidan was learning quickly and showed a natural skill for the work. He seemed to enjoy the shop as much as he enjoyed the evenings, which he usually spent with Charles’s oldest son, Jack.
Alicia’s favorite time was after Aidan had returned from visiting Jack and he spent the last hour before bed regaling Alicia with the many adventures of Sam Steele. Some made her laugh; a large number made her cringe. God, the things her sister had lived through!
As her life fell back into a routine, time began to slip away faster, and it wasn’t long before her clothes weren’t fitting properly and her belly was beginning to grow as much as her breasts had. She wouldn’t be able to hide it much longer.
Alicia stroked her stomach and a warmth spread through her. In a handful of months there’d be a baby to hold. She wasn’t sure how Charles would take her news but she was excited nonetheless.
She walked quickly, the morning breeze lifting the fine hairs at the nape of her neck. Unlike most mornings when she’d look out to sea and wonder where Blake was, today Alicia’s focus was entirely on what Charles’s reaction would be. She could only hope that after the disappointment wore off, he wouldn’t treat her any differently than he had before. She couldn’t bear the idea of losing his love.
She arrived at the door at the same time as Charles. His eyebrows angled into a frown.
“You’re here mighty early, it’s barely dawn,” he pointed out as he held the door for her.
“I was anxious to get started.” Alicia stepped into the shop and immediately went to the windows, throwing them open. The breeze whispered into the room, shifting the dust on the floor, and the pale dawn light was just bright enough to make lanterns unnecessary.
“Where’s Aidan this morning?”
Alicia turned from the window, smiled. “Off to see your boy, said there was something he needed to tell Jack. Considering how fast he ate his breakfast, I’d say it was important.”
Charles shook his head. “Those two took to each other like flies to horse manure.”
Alicia laughed.
“All right,” he said, leaning against the workbench and crossing his arms. “What is it?”
“What makes you think there’s something?” she asked.
“Since you’re first move wasn’t to light the fire or pick up a hammer, I’d say you have news. Besides,” he said, looking at her closely, “you’re shiny as a gold piece this morning.”
“You’re right, I have something to tell you.”
When she made no move to do so, he asked, “And you’ll be sharing this news?”
She took a breath for courage. “I’m having a baby.”
His jaw went slack. He stared at her, stunned, and before he could do more than sputter, Alicia told him the rest. How she’d met Blake, how they’d hoped to get married, how in the end their dreams kept them apart. How in four months’ time she’d be a mother.
“Alicia,” he said, scraping his hands down his face, then peering at her over his blackened fingertips. “Dear God, do you know how hard this is going to be for you?”
She set her jaw. “I do. But the alternative is unimaginable. My aunt wants to hide me, then give away the child as though it were nothing more than a used piece of clothing. I love this baby,” she said and placed a protective hand over the slight swell. “And it’s all I have left of Blake.”
“Daniel,” Charles said, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you found him. And then to be having his child …”
“I’m not an idiot, Charles, I know the road ahead will be hard.”
“It’ll be beyond hard, Alicia.” He pushed from the bench. “Business dropped off when your father died, not significantly but enough to notice. Now, you know I think you’re a fine blacksmith but some people don’t think a woman should be running this shop. It was fine when it was simply a father indulging his daughter, but a woman working a man’s job is frowned upon, Alicia. And now.” He huffed out a breath, waved his hand. “They’ll never support this shop with a pregnant unwed woman at the helm.”
“Then we pretend the shop is yours. We’ll tell everyone I sold it to you.”
“And you’ll stay away from it? Because even if I own it, they won’t bring their business to me if y
ou’re here. And what will you do after the baby? Who do think will want to look after a—”
“Don’t say it! Don’t you dare say this child will be a bastard!”
Charles ran his hands down his face again. “Ignoring the truth doesn’t change it.”
Alicia gasped. Charles grimaced.
“I’m sorry,” he said. He walked to her, his eyes filled with regret. “You’ve blindsided me, Alicia. Of all the confessions you could have made this morning, this was the last thing I expected to come out of your mouth.”
“I want this baby, Charles. I’ll find a way to survive what is coming. If my life becomes too difficult, I can, in truth, sell the shop to you and move to St. Kitts. It’s not what I’d want, but I’m not without options if I need them.”
He took her hands. “You don’t want to live in St. Kitts. If you did, you’d have packed up and left with your sister.”
Tears pricked her eyes. “This is my home. My mother is buried here and so are the Davidsons. I love this shop.” She sniffled, squeezed his hands. “And even if I can’t own it, I want to be able to walk by, to see it, to be surrounded by the memories that are in my heart. I need to know you’ll support me, Charles. Not with money, I can do that. I mean stand beside me. I need to know there’s someone here I can talk to, who won’t hate me.”
He nodded, opened his arms. Alicia stepped into them, and felt the weight of her decisions ease. It wouldn’t be easy. She knew that. As a woman proprietor, it had been difficult; she could only imagine the ugliness when her pregnancy became obvious. But at least with Charles behind her, she knew she could manage.
“Thank you,” she sniffled.
“You’ve carved yourself a hell of a road, Alicia. But if you want to keep the shop going, then I’ll do my damnedest to—”
His words were lost as cannon fire exploded over Port Royal.
Twenty-Four
“Land ho!”
“Finally,” Blake muttered and pulled out his looking glass. Through it he saw the unmistakable shape of Tortuga as well as the fact that it seemed particularly lively, if the number of ships bobbing in its only accessible harbor was any indication. Snapping the glass closed, Blake adjusted his course, taking the most direct line to shore.
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