Crossing the Barrier

by Martine Lewis

Malakai looked up at Wes again, his cheeseburger in one hand, a fry in the other.

  “What makes you say that? I mean, she’s pretty and all, but why would you think I like her?”

  “The way you try so hard to pretend you don’t.”

  Malakai shrugged again and resumed eating. In reality, he didn’t know how he felt about Lily. She was pretty, she was interesting, and she was confusing. He could not explain the strange pull he felt toward her. He only knew she made him feel like he wasn’t alone anymore, like someone was there for him, as opposed to Andrea, who left him indifferent.

  “Man, the girl’s geek territory. She’s got nothing in common with us. She’d seriously cramp your style,” Wes said, leaning forward.

  “Whoa! My getting her help doesn’t mean I’m dating her. Until yesterday, I didn’t even know her name,” Malakai said, leaning back and raising his hands in protest.

  “Yes, but you went to see her after practice, didn’t you? Will you see her again?”

  “Probably at school, like the other nine hundred students in our class,” Malakai answered, leaning forward again and grabbing his burger.

  “Malakai, don’t. You don’t need the drama. The team doesn’t need the drama. Besides, there’s Andrea. You and her, you click. You guys are meant to be together.”

  Malakai looked at Wes while slowly putting down his burger on his plate again. That was something Zoe would have said, not the Wes he remembered.

  And if Wes believed it, he was totally blind.

  If one thing was certain, Malakai and Andrea did not click. While Andrea might have felt something for him, he felt nothing for her other than friendship. The spark, the one that would make his heart race, wasn’t there.

  “You’re drama free with Zoe, I suppose,” he said so quietly he wondered if Wes had heard.

  Despite not liking Zoe, Malakai had always tried to be tolerant of her and supportive of Wes. Why wouldn’t Wes do the same for him?

  Before Wes answered, the bell over the door rattled, and Malakai looked up.

  “Hi, Malakai,” Andrea said with a huge smile and a small wave, making her way to their table as Zoe followed.

  Malakai looked pointedly at Wes across from him. He should have known this new Wes would do something like that. This Wes was no longer the friend Malakai could depend on, the one who would want to do something stupid on a dare, the one who would want to hang out with the boys. This Wes only wanted to do Zoe’s bidding, and of course, this Wes wouldn’t have missed an occasion to throw Andrea at him.

  And this Wes was grinning at him as if he were the cat who got the cream.

  “Zoe and Andrea wanted to join us. I couldn’t say no,” he said, sliding over to make room for Zoe.

  After a moment’s hesitation, Malakai moved over to let Andrea sit next to him. The two girls quickly ordered pancakes and began talking.

  All throughout the remaining dinner, Andrea was her usual self: bubbly, fun, light, somewhat interesting, and a little naive. Malakai couldn’t help but compare her to Lily. Lily was fascinating, nice, but not light. Lily would read the Smithsonian like he did but not Andrea. Andrea was not into science and general knowledge like Lily. Andrea had no AP classes while Lily had mentioned she had at least four. Andrea wanted to go to community college while Lily…well, he didn’t know what Lily wanted; he would have to ask her if she would ever want to talk to him again.

  The sun was setting when they finally paid their bill. As they walked outside, Malakai was immediately suffocated by the August heat and humidity of Texas. Despite his eagerness to be gone, he took the time to walk Andrea to her car, like he had been raised to do. Wes and Zoe looked at them with wide smiles on their faces, and Malakai was certain the news of his “going out” with Andrea would be all over social media by the end of the night.

  “You’re going to the party?” Andrea asked, standing beside her open car door.

  “No. We have practice tomorrow morning.”

  “Wes is coming.”

  He shrugged. While Wes may have lost interest, Malakai took football too seriously to follow down that path.

  After final good-byes, Andrea got in her car and drove away.

  As Malakai walked to his jeep, he sighed. This evening hadn’t gone at all like he had hoped.

  He got into his jeep and wondered what to do now. He didn’t want to go to his empty apartment, especially since he had absolutely nothing to do there. If at least school had begun, he would have homework, but no. It would only start in a week. And it was Friday night. What was the chance someone wasn’t going to this stupid party?

  Then he remembered David. The center was not into the party scene.

  Malakai took out his phone, texted the center, and then threw the device on the dashboard. He retrieved his key and turned it in the ignition. He drove out of the parking lot and down the road to one of the few places where he could always find peace.

  Five minutes later, he parked behind the school and got out of his jeep. Shoving his hands into his jeans pockets, he made his way to the football practice field, the smell of fresh laundry and wet grass floating in the air. Malakai would have rather gone to the stadium where the team usually played to soak in the feel of it, to visualize the real thing, but the place was locked, and he didn’t think it would be a good idea to get caught sneaking in. Regardless, this practice field was a place he knew well and loved.

  Football was a major part of his life. It was the only thing he knew would be there the next day and the next. Malakai gave it his all, practicing and weight lifting six times a week, running an hour every day, and sometimes throwing the ball with his friends on Sundays. Even in the off-season, he kept up with the weight training and running.

  Football was also a comfort to him. When he played, he was himself and forgot everything that was not the game, everything that was not his desire to do his best and win. Football gave him a sense of purpose, which he had lost after his friend’s death and hadn’t found anywhere else. It was his escape, his way to forget about everything that was wrong with his life, his way to get help when he couldn’t get it anywhere else and didn’t know how to ask for it. It had given him a sense of self-worth, which he would have never regained had his grandmother not forced him to play shortly after he and his father moved in with her.

  According to the coaches, Malakai was one of the best wide receivers they had seen in years. He didn’t believe he was good enough to make it to the pros, but at least it was going to pay for college. South Texas may not be the greatest football team in its conference, but it was where he wanted to go because it had one of the best kinesiology programs in the southern United States.

  Despite his excitement, his news was tarnished by the fact he didn’t have the benefit of talking the offer through with his father.

  He made his way to the fifty-yard line and stood there, remembering the practices of the last few days with Wes and Tristan, the sophomore quarterback. He replayed in his mind every move he had made, every way he had gone wrong, and everything he had done right. He also remembered how his thoughts of Lily had hindered his ability to concentrate and practice at his normal level.

  As he thought of her, he made his way to the twenty-yard line and looked at where the stands would be if he were at the regular stadium. The band would be sitting there, playing something, entertaining the crowd, giving the players some form of encouragement. He had always liked the way the band and the crowd helped him concentrate better. The noise was a way to drown out everything else but the game, and he had always welcomed it. It was not the case for all the players, but it was for him.

  And Lily was a part of all that; she was a part of his own personal entertainment act. Malakai looked at the ground in front of him and remembered being with her again. He had been comfortable enough to tell her about his college offer, something he had pretty much kept to himself, but telling Lily had felt so…right.

  He was looking at the stands again when he heard footsteps behind
him. He turned and saw David making his way across the field, a football in his hand.

  “’Sup?” David asked.

  Malakai shrugged.

  “You playing in jeans? In this heat?”

  Malakai looked down at himself, then grinned at David.

  “Give me a minute, will you?”

  Malakai ran to his jeep to change. Two minutes later, they were throwing the ball around the field.

  Chapter Eight

  LILY

  “Lily, you’re awfully quiet again,” Sandra said as they drove to school for their band practice the next Monday. “What’s wrong?”

  Lily hesitated. “My shields aren’t back.”

  “You’ll be fine,” Sandra said automatically.

  Somehow she didn’t sound or feel convincing to Lily.

  A few minutes later, they arrived at school, got out of the car, and made their way to the building. As she followed her friend, Lily felt the murmur of emotions scratch her brain. It was faint, as she was still fifty yards away from the door, but it was there, present, constant. As she got closer to the entrance, the murmur became increasingly insistent, increasingly uncomfortable.

  Only a couple of hundred students were at school at the moment, and thinking about how it would be on a regular school day with thirty-five hundred students around made Lily want to run for her car and drive away as far and as fast as she could.

  Lily was still trying to comprehend the enormity of her situation when she walked into the school and things went from bad to worse. All the emotions went from unpleasant to a downright assault on her senses, and her inability to make it stop made her realize how much trouble she really was in. If she reacted that way with so few students, her situation was definitely a lot worse than she originally thought.

  As Lily walked through the door to the band hall, matters got even worse, if that was at all possible. The emotions of her bandmates felt like ants crawling all over her brain, ants that were viciously taking pieces of her mind, bites by little bites. With each step she took, the pain increased to the point of making her want to scream.

  She had just brought her hand to her temple to try to squash the pain when Sandra appeared in front of her, frowning.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I…I…” Lily took a step sideways as if something had tried to take a bigger bite of her already fragile mind. She then crossed her arms and held herself tightly. “I…I can’t do this,” she said, taking a step back.

  She was about to run when Sandra grabbed her arm. Her friend’s gesture quieted the assaulting emotions, which were replaced by Sandra’s only. Lily was so relieved she sagged and would have fallen to the ground if Sandra hadn’t held her.

  “Yes, you can do this,” her best friend said as she pulled Lily to her regular seat. “Not only can you, but you must!”

  “Everybody, please take your seat,” the director called as Sandra let go of her.

  The sudden loss of contact made the army of ants come back in full force, and Lily was thankful she was sitting. The contents of her stomach were now starting to rebel, and she felt a moment of panic. As everybody took their seats, the emotions were slowly replaced by a rational form of concentration, and she sighed in relief.

  Reprieve.

  Thankfully, the rest of the practice went relatively well, despite Lily’s many mistakes, and by the time they made their way outside to execute their march, Lily felt a lot more in control, if not still on edge. She was, however, beginning to sport a spectacular headache from concentrating so hard.

  “Do you think it’s the varsity team practicing on the field?” Sandra asked, making her way to her.

  Their shoulders touched, and the ants instantly disappeared. Lily released a breath she hadn’t known she had been holding.

  “I don’t know,” she answered.

  “We should go and see once we’re done.”

  “No. Not a good idea. Besides, they’ll finish way earlier than we will.”

  “Okay, okay,” Sandra conceded, taking a step back and raising her hands in surrender. “It would have been fun. Just saying.”

  “No,” Lily repeated, bringing her hand to her temple to try to massage the renewed pain away. “I know what you’re trying to do.”

  “It’s not better?” Sandra asked, pointing at Lily’s head.

  “When you touch me, it is.”

  Sandra took a step toward Lily, making sure their shoulders touched again. “Better?”

  Lily nodded, giving her friend a sad smile.

  “So to come back to Malakai—”

  “Stop, Sandra, please. He may be cute and all, but I’m not a groupie, nor will I be.”

  “Okay. Don’t take it that way.”

  Lily knew Sandra meant well and wanted to help her, but Lily didn’t want to throw herself at anybody. She had enough problems as it was. Besides, for all she knew, the rumors were true, and Malakai was dating someone already.

  Chapter Nine

  MALAKAI

  When the alarm went off, Malakai pushed the snooze button and put his arm over his eyes. Even half awake, he smiled. Today was the first day of school, and as opposed to most of his friends, he was looking forward to it.

  School meant people, lots of them.

  If he were lucky, he might even run into Lily, whom he hadn’t seen since visiting her in the hospital. He hoped he would be lucky.

  Then reality came crashing in.

  With a sigh, he removed his arm from his eyes and sat. He turned off the alarm clock before it went off again, and listened carefully. He didn’t hear anything.

  He got out of bed and walked into the kitchen. When he passed the coffeemaker, he turned it on, then made his way to his father’s bedroom. It looked unused. He then glanced into his father’s bathroom.

  His father was military and, as a very disciplined man, he never allowed anything to be out of place. Water in his bathroom sink was the only thing that would indicate the sergeant major had been home.

  The sink was dry, which disappointed Malakai to no end. He wanted to talk to his father about his classes, football, and his college offer. He wanted to tell him how excited he was about heading to South Texas and about the upcoming season.

  It wasn’t to be so.

  The sergeant major had not come home.

  Again.

  Like always, it seemed lately.

  While most of his friends complained about their parents, Malakai secretly envied their home life. For him, home life consisted of a mother who had disappeared, never to be seen again, and an absentee father. He was lucky if he saw his father once a month.

  Ever since his mother’s disappearance and his grandmother’s death, the sergeant had run his house like a military barrack. The discipline had been tough on Malakai at first, but he had come to realize that in his despair over the loss in his wife, his father had reverted to the only thing he knew and felt comfortable with. His father had thrown himself into his work, and shortly after Malakai turned seventeen, the sergeant announced he had been promoted.

  “I won’t be home a lot, but you’re grown up now,” he had said, giving Malakai the keys to the family jeep. “You know what to do, and you don’t need me as much. I trust you to do the right thing when I’m gone.”

  And Malakai had.

  Except one time.

  A couple of months after his father’s promotion, the sergeant had come home to find dirty dishes in the sink and clothes scattered around the apartment. That weekend, his father had Malakai clean the entire place with a toothbrush. Well, he had used three, but who was counting...

  After washing the dishes and cleaning the floor, the bathrooms, and any other surfaces the sergeant deemed needed attention, Malakai had learned his lesson. He swore he would never leave the apartment in any condition other than spotless, especially since he never knew when the sergeant would come home.

  Even though he was mostly by himself, Malakai was provided with everything he needed without
being overly spoiled, and wanted for nothing. In return, the sergeant expected nothing more than good behavior, good grades, and for Malakai to stay out of trouble.

  Most of Malakai’s friends would envy his home situation, but he was terribly lonely. He wanted his father present, he wanted his help, and he wanted his advice.

  But he was getting none of it.

  His friends had no idea how lucky they really were.

  With another sigh, Malakai made his way back to the kitchen and glanced at his phone on the counter. His father had given him a number to call in case he needed anything, but Malakai had learned a long time ago the sergeant never answered. During the first two months of his absence, Malakai had called to find out when he was coming home, and his father had called him back the first and second time, but that was it. Like his mother before, his father had basically disappeared, and Malakai found himself all alone.

  Maybe today…

  Malakai picked up the phone and dialed the number he had saved over half a year ago. He put his phone to his ear. It rang once, twice, three times. After the fifth ring, the impersonal messaging system picked up followed by the beep.

  “It’s my first day of school today,” Malakai muttered. He clenched his fist, his nails digging into his palm. “Oh and South Texas offered me a full ride,” he continued, a tingling sensation behind his eyes. “Do you have any idea how much it blows to announce my news to your voice mail?” he added, sounding as calm as possible despite his clenched teeth.

  Without adding a word, he hung up. He was about to throw his phone across the room but stopped himself just in time. The sergeant would never replace it if he knew Malakai had broken it in anger. Before he did any damage to the device, he put it on the counter and went to his bedroom to shower and change.

  After a quick breakfast of eggs and toast, he put the dishes in the dishwasher and left for school.

  Chapter Ten

  LILY

  “Why up so early?” Beatrice asked, walking into the kitchen, yawning.