Crossing the Barrier

by Martine Lewis

  “Oh, that’s a bummer,” Zoe said, lightly putting her hand on his arm, then removing it as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “We have this party at Marty’s and you absolutely have to come.”

  Malakai frowned. Zoe was controlling and overbearing, but now she was just downright strange.

  “Then we’ll have lunch on Saturday, you know, at that new pizza place next to the grocery store, then we’ll go to the movies. Then we’ll go play pool for the rest of the afternoon. Of course, you’ll be there, right?”

  In those two sentences, she had touched his arm again, twice, and Malakai could have sworn a bug was crawling up his skin. He discretely walked a few inches away from her so her touching him would be more awkward.

  “Want to add shopping for a homecoming dress with that?” he asked, sarcastically.

  “Nah,” she answered as if he were serious. “That’s next weekend. You can tag along if you want.”

  Two of the football players behind them chuckled, and Malakai bit his lower lip to prevent himself from laughing out loud. This girl was just too much. She had no idea how incredibly stupid she sounded. She had to be on something.

  On her other side, Wes was drinking in her every word.

  They had bought their food and were taking their seats at their usual table when Malakai saw her.

  And his heart all but stopped.

  Lily was standing at the entrance to the cafeteria and looking inside wearily. Malakai had to give it to her. She was persistent. He knew she couldn’t deal with the cafeteria on her own, and she just kept on coming. He wondered why she would do this to herself.

  He couldn’t let it happen, not this time. He had to help her; he had to go to her. It was the perfect way for him to show her his heart was winning his internal fight, and he wanted her in his life, very much so.

  “Malakai, I’m talking to you,” Zoe said behind him.

  “Okay,” he said, keeping his eyes on Lily and standing up.

  Ignoring Zoe, who kept on babbling, he walked around the table and made his way to the petite clarinetist. A smile appeared on his lips when she looked up and saw him. He knew he looked like a goof, but he just didn’t care. She was there, and he was just happy to see her.

  “Hi,” he said. “Need food?”

  “Yeah,” she said with a wince, bringing her hand to her temple.

  “Where’s Sandra?”

  “She’s at the library…again.”

  “Oh!”

  He hesitated a moment, knowing the second she touched him she would know how he felt, then offered her his hand. Lily glanced at it, then looked up at him. She hesitated, then put her small hand in his.

  And sighed in relief.

  “You know, if you need someone to, you know, help, you can text me, and I can come and meet you,” he said while they were walking to the serving line.

  Her hand was so soft he couldn’t help but caress the back of it with his thumb. The feeling was electrifying, and Malakai imagined the skin of her belly again. As he blushed, Lily laughed and it lit up her face, making her beautiful gray eyes sparkle.

  “You saw that, didn’t you?”

  She didn’t answer; she only smiled.

  “Well, my offer still stands.”

  “That would be great. However, you forgot one tiny detail.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I don’t have your number.”

  “You don’t? Well, we need to fix that, now, don’t we?”

  As they reached the serving counter, Malakai let go of her hand and, making sure he always kept contact with her, brought his hand to the small of her back like he had seen David do a few weeks before. She looked up at him with a grateful smile.

  After she got food, they made their way to the cashier line. Malakai was now holding on to her by the back belt loop of her pants and couldn’t get enough of the tingling sensation making its way from his fingers to his soul. He imagined what it would be like to touch the skin of her lower back, how soft it would be under his fingers, but her shirt was tucked into her jeans, and he couldn’t very well lift it in the middle of the cafeteria. He was pulled from his thoughts when Lily turned to him.

  “You feel pretty happy,” she said, leaning toward him so no one else could hear.

  “I do?” he asked, grinning like an idiot.

  “Yeah, like you’re at a fair or something, and you’re having the time of your life.”

  “Well, I’m not at a fair, but I am having a pretty good time.”

  “Good to know,” she said, then turned around to pay the cashier.

  Malakai, who usually hated the line at lunch, found the wait too short this time. Once Lily had paid, he escorted her to the entrance, following her pace, hoping she would slow down, a lot. He was about to follow her down the corridor when he remembered his abandoned lunch at the table.

  “I… My lunch is at my table,” he said, scratching the back of his head.

  Lily glanced toward his table and then looked at him.

  “It’s okay. We can have lunch another time. I have to finish an assignment anyway.”

  Malakai smiled at her to hide his disappointment, but he understood why she wouldn’t want to join him. He himself didn’t like to hang out with a lot of the people who were sitting at his table. What did it say about him that he still went to lunch there anyway?

  “I’ll see you tomorrow?” she asked.

  Malakai nodded and watched her leave, shoving his hands in his pockets so he wouldn’t make a total fool of himself by waving at her. Once she had disappeared around the corner, he looked down at the floor in front of him and kicked an imaginary rock.

  He had done it, and it was okay. She knew how he felt and that was also okay. He would be fine. They would be fine. He could do this.

  But his friends…

  At the thought, Malakai turned around and looked at his table. Zoe and some of her friends had their mouths open so wide Malakai wouldn’t have been surprised to find out some of them had swallowed flies. Some of the guys, Wes included, were looking everywhere but at him, trying to pretend they hadn’t seen a thing. The rest of his friends had knowing grins or smiles on their faces.

  With the shadow of a smile on his lips, Malakai made his way to the latter group, which included David and Tristan, and found his school bag and lunch had been moved to that end of the table.

  Yes, he could do this.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  MALAKAI

  Malakai was amazed he could still concentrate on football. As the band played, and he waited on the sideline for the game to finish, all he thought about was Lily. For the last two weeks, they had studied together almost every night after practice, and he had loved every second of it. Now all he wanted was to have her right there, her small body underneath him, kissing her as if his survival depended on it. He hadn’t dared yet; she deserved so much better, but he could no longer smell green tea without an intense longing for her presence.

  Thankfully, he could still concentrate on football, and with his twenty-four points, he had been instrumental in their winning their first district game of the season.

  After the band had played the school song, during which Malakai had eyes only for Lily, he followed his teammates to the locker room, listening to their animated recollection of the game.

  “That was a great game,” Tristan said, walking to Malakai.

  Malakai was glad the younger quarterback had had some playing time and had added two touchdowns to the score.

  “Yeah, it was,” Malakai said with a grin. “You see, we can all do it when we work together.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  They entered the locker room, and Malakai removed his jersey and shoulder pads. He sat on the bench and waited for Coach to give his end-of-the-game speech.

  “Good job, guys,” Coach said, as he walked into the room. “Now, tomorrow is Sunday, so take it easy, and I’ll see you all Monday.”

  Malakai st
ood and was readying his things when Tristan approached him again.

  “Do you think we can practice some tomorrow? I mean there’re some throws I can’t do as good as I would want, and I’d like to put some time in.”

  “Sure,” Malakai said with a smile.

  “I can be there too,” David said, approaching them.

  “And me too,” Luis said.

  “We’ll be a nice little group then,” David said, slapping Tristan on the back, making the younger player stumble.

  Tristan grinned happily.

  “Where?” Luis asked.

  “If it’s only us, we could go to the school,” David suggested.

  “Sure.”

  Their plan made, Malakai grabbed his bag and shoulder pads and made his way to the door. As he walked out, the band was walking by, and he looked to see if he might find Lily, but there were so many of them, and they all looked so alike in their uniforms. Abandoning his search, he began to make his way along the building, glancing at the awaiting parents. Some of the players were greeted and congratulated by them, but Malakai’s dad wasn’t there tonight.

  As he scanned the crowd, he saw her.

  And froze.

  He stared, not sure if he was hallucinating or not. But the vision remained.

  Her hair as blond as he remembered, long to below her shoulder. Her straight nose, her full lips, her soft eyes.

  She was there, on the other side of the passing band, standing still, five short yards away. The woman who had disappeared so many years ago.

  His mother.

  That couldn’t be right.

  The light was playing tricks on him.

  Maybe she was a woman who looked just like her.

  But if so, why had she eyes only for him?

  Malakai heard the blood pounding in his ears, and at the same time, his heart completely stopped. The world had tipped off balance. Hope, despair, and longing were fighting inside of him in equal measure, threatening to engulf and drown him. He kept on staring, afraid that if he blinked, the vision would disappear, and at the same time, afraid the vision might be true.

  How much he missed his mother. How much he missed having someone in his life who cared for him, who took care of him.

  As if in a dream, he slowly realized someone was holding his arms, shaking him, and frantically calling his name. He didn’t want to look down. He wanted to keep looking at the vision in front of him, but the shaking was insistent. As if he were in a slow motion, he glanced away from the apparition and looked down.

  He didn’t recognize her at first, this petite brunette with gray eyes, but then he smelled the green tea and a longing of another kind filled him.

  Lily.

  The girl he liked way too much for his own good.

  The girl who was real and not a figment of his imagination.

  The girl who he trusted enough to be himself with.

  The girl whom filled the emptiness inside of him.

  Malakai let his bag and pads fall to the ground, took her delicate face in his hands, his thumbs caressing her soft cheeks, and kissed her like she was the salvation he was so desperately seeking.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  LILY

  “You look exhausted,” Sandra said, walking next to Lily.

  The game had just ended, and they were making their way to the buses.

  “I am. You know, on days like this, I wish I had my shields back,” she said with a wince.

  “Any success yet?”

  “Some, but the only way I can keep them up is if I give it my undivided attention.”

  “Oh. Not really useful when you have to concentrate on school, or band, or…”

  Something slammed into Lily so hard she took a step back and would have fallen if Sandra hadn’t grabbed her arm. Someone was in a distress so profound Lily felt like she was in the middle of the ocean and was expected to swim to a shore she couldn’t even see.

  “Malakai!”

  She didn’t know how, but she knew it was him.

  “Yeah, Malakai,” Sandra said with a roll of her eyes.

  “No. Something’s wrong with Malakai.”

  She looked around, frantically searching for him and found him a moment later, standing along the locker room wall.

  “Hold this,” she said, giving her clarinet to Sandra.

  As soon as her friend had her instrument, she ran to the wide receiver and grabbed both of his arms.

  “Malakai! Malakai! What is it?” she asked, shaking him. “Malakai!”

  He wasn’t looking at her. He was staring behind her, his eyes wide, his pupils dilated. Lily looked over her shoulder but couldn’t see what he was seeing, nor could she see it from his mind, which was in such a shambles it made her feel dizzy.

  “Malakai!” she called again, screaming this time.

  He finally looked down. He didn’t seem to recognize her at first, but after a few seconds, he took a deep breath as if he had been holding it for a few minutes.

  Then the emotions hit Lily: recognition, longing, and an intense trust, but also a blinding need.

  Malakai let his bag and pads fall to the ground and took her face in both of his hands. In the next instant, he brought his lips to hers and kissed her, really kissed her.

  Lily had never been kissed before, and this was not the way she had expected it.

  No, in fact, it was even better.

  Everything around her that wasn’t Malakai faded away. Gone were the sounds of the band marching by, gone were the voices of the parents congratulating their kids, gone were the feelings of the people around them. All that remained were the fireworks behind her closed lids, the softness of Malakai’s hands on her cheeks, his warm lips on hers, and his soul caressing hers.

  Lily’s legs turned liquid, and she would have fallen to the ground had she not grabbed on to Malakai’s waist, and had he not held her face in his hands.

  His tongue teased her lips, and she opened them. Instantly, Malakai deepened the kiss, and Lily could have sworn she had never tasted something so good in her life, something fruity, like a sports drink. He was warm, gentle, and his longing was mingled with an intense sense of wanting and trust.

  All too quickly, however, he pulled away, uncertainty and doubts filling his heart.

  “Malakai, what’s wrong?” she asked gently as he put his forehead against hers, still holding on to her face with both hands.

  She had felt his distress a few moments prior. It was so profound.

  “Nothing,” he said, his eyes closed.

  The desperation came back, all of it mingled with longing and need. Somehow she felt that he took comfort in her.

  “Malakai?”

  Malakai glanced behind her. As he searched the crowd, Lily saw an image of a woman with the same green eyes as his appear in her mind. The woman seemed to be standing right behind them and was looking straight at Malakai.

  After a few moments of searching, Malakai turned to her and put his forehead against hers again before closing his eyes.

  “I…I thought I saw someone,” he said.

  “Who is she?” Lily asked gently.

  “I must have been mistaken.”

  Then he opened his eyes and looked at her. Slowly, a grin appeared on his face.

  “I kissed you,” he said, all his other emotions being overshadowed by one: happiness.

  “Yeah, you did,” she said, giggling.

  “I want to do it again.”

  “Then what are you waiting for?”

  And he did.

  This kiss was as good as the first one, and this time the desperation was gone, replaced by a warm and fuzzy feeling, the one Lily usually associated with couples who were very much in love and had been together for a while. As he deepened the kiss again, Malakai’s feelings toward her became as clear as water: He really, really liked her, like a lot, like he had wanted this despite who he was, despite who she was, and he felt like he was finally home.

  And Lily felt home too.


  Unfortunately, the warm bubble that had previously surrounded them burst, and Lily now heard their acquired audience of football players and band members, all of whom seemed to whistle and cheer in encouragement. Lily willed them away, wanting to lose herself in this glow that was Malakai, but she couldn’t ignore them anymore, and neither could Malakai.

  They pulled apart and laughed, forehead against forehead again.

  “I wanted to do that for so long,” he said.

  “Well, I’m glad you finally did.”

  “Thomas, enough PDAs for one day,” Coach called, as he walked by. “PDAs aren’t allowed on district grounds. Consider yourself warned.”

  The crowd of parents chuckled, amused. Even Coach sounded amused as he gave his reprimand.

  “I’ll see you at school in a few minutes, okay?” Malakai said, slowly letting go of her.

  “Okay.”

  With a grin, he grabbed his bag and pads and ran to the waiting buses.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  LILY

  Lily was convinced Malakai would be gone by the time she got back to school. Wrapping up after a football game always took the band a lot more time than the football players, and Malakai’s bus had been gone a good half hour before hers left. She wouldn’t hold it against him if he had left; he had played hard after all, and she wouldn’t be surprised if he were tired.

  But when the bus finally pulled into the school parking lot, he was there, leaning against his jeep, his hands shoved in his pockets.

  “He’s here,” one of the girls called from the front of the bus.

  “Oh, my God,” another one said.

  Most of the girls turned to Lily with smiles on their faces.

  “Go get him, girl,” one of them said.

  “Finally! The barrier has been crossed,” another one said.

  “Are you okay?” Sandra asked, worried.

  Lily had grabbed Sandra’s hand the minute she joined her best friend on the bus. A lot of band members had seen her and Malakai, and the news of their kissing was all over the buses by the time they traveled back to school. A picture with the caption “Crossing the Barrier!!!” had even appeared on social media, and Lily didn’t quite know what to think of it. The feelings that went with the news were euphoric from some, jealous from others, and downright nasty from yet a few others.