Crossing the Barrier

by Martine Lewis

She sounded and looked miserable, and it broke Malakai’s heart to see her that way. At the same time, he was so scared he was shaking.

  “I have to go back. That house, it’s mine. My father left it to me. She’s the one who’s living under my roof, not the other way around.”

  “Then kick her out,” he said, resuming his pacing.

  “I can’t,” she said, shaking her head. “At least not yet. Even if she wasn’t contesting the trust, which she is, she’s allowed to live there until I’m eighteen. We’re trying to get the case heard quicker, especially now that she hit me and all, but it takes time.”

  Malakai stopped again and looked at Lily. He hadn’t known about the trust.

  “Lily, I hate to know you’ll be there alone,” he said quietly, taking her face in his hands and drying her tears with his thumbs.

  She put her hands on his hips and looped her fingers in his jeans’ belt loops. “I know, and it’s sweet you care so much.”

  Malakai didn’t feel sweet at all. In fact, he was still angry enough to hit something.

  “I still think you shouldn’t go back.” He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, fighting with all his might to remain calm. “I don’t understand why you want to go back so badly. I’m not going to pretend I understand your reasoning either. If I was in your shoes, I would run as far and as fast as I can. I wouldn’t stay in a house where one of my parents raised their hand to me. I just wouldn’t.”

  Lily sighed. She let her hands drop and looked at the ground.

  “You’re not in my situation, Malakai,” she said sadly. “My house…It’s all I have left of my dad.”

  “That’s so not true,” he said, throwing his hands in the air. “You have clarinet. That’s something you have from your dad,” he said, pacing again. “You have your uncle. That’s also something else you have left from your dad. And you have your memories. The walls of your house are only that: walls. What you have of your dad isn’t in that house. It’s in your heart. In who you are,” he finished, stopping in front of her and gently stabbing her chest with his pointer finger.

  “I…I’ve got to go,” she suddenly said.

  In the next instant, she was running toward the school. Malakai let her go, his hands on his head in frustration.

  How would he ever be able to protect her if she was throwing herself back in this situation? How could he even be there for her and keep her safe?

  Chapter Fifty-Eight

  MALAKAI

  Malakai hadn’t talked to Lily since their argument at lunch. He was still too angry.

  And afraid.

  Terribly afraid.

  When football practice came around after class that afternoon, Malakai gave it his all, losing himself in the sport, trying to forget what Lily was about to do. He funneled his anger into the game and didn’t drop any of the passes. He ran and ran to try to work the anger out of his system.

  Practice was done way too early for Malakai’s liking, and once he was showered, he left the locker room, not taking the time to socialize with anyone. As he got to his jeep, he saw David waiting for him.

  “Let’s get dinner.”

  Malakai opened his mouth to decline, but David cut him off. “Not up for discussion. We’re getting dinner.”

  Malakai looked up at the center, wondering what was wrong with him. Instead of asking, he nodded.

  “Same place as last time,” David said, walking to his truck.

  Half an hour later, Malakai was sitting in front of his friend on the blue faux leather seat, playing around with his french fries, staring at the three teens in Halloween costumes at the next table over.

  “What’s wrong with you, dude?” David asked between two bites.

  Startled, Malakai looked at him.

  “Listen, I know something’s bothering you. Heck, the entire team knows. You practiced like you were about to kill anyone who came anywhere near you. And now you’ve barely taken a bite while I’m half done. What’s up?”

  “Lily.”

  David frowned. “What’s with her? Did you guys have a fight?”

  “Yes, no. Well, sorta.”

  “Ookkaayy…Which is it?” David sounded like a big brother ready to defend his little sister.

  “She’s going back home.”

  “Home? You mean across the street home?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh, shit,” David said, shaking his head and leaning back in his seat.

  “I don’t get it! Why would she go back there? It’s not like she can’t stay anywhere else.” Malakai pushed his plate away and leaned back in his seat also. He hadn’t meant to sound angry, but he did. “What’s with this bloody house anyway? I mean, what’s so important about it that she’s got to go back there?”

  “You’re scared,” David stated.

  “Yes! Yes, I’m scared, okay? I’m scared something’s going to happen and no one will be there to help her.”

  “Well, I can tell you one thing: My mom won’t agree to this unless she’s sure Lily’s got a way to call out if she needs to. Neither would Charlie. I wouldn’t be surprised if he buys her at least two emergency phones she can stash somewhere. And my mom will probably be in the windows checking her house all the time.”

  “But what’s with her and that house? I mean it’s just walls.”

  “I don’t know, dude, but she’s got nothing left,” David said, shaking his head sadly. “Imagine living her life for a minute. It must be so fucking awful.”

  David’s words were sobering but true. Even Malakai’s situation was nowhere near as bad as Lily’s. At least he had his father, and his father loved him in his own way.

  To think he had believed Lily lived a charmed life before he’d gotten to know her…

  “She reminds me of those girls who are beaten by their boyfriends and keep on going back. I just don’t get it,” Malakai said, leaning forward again. “I want to help her, but I just don’t know how anymore.”

  “If I were you, I wouldn’t stay mad at her. I know I wouldn’t. She’s only got us. And with what her mother did to Charlie and all. I hope the dude’s got an ironclad defense ‘coz he’s heading to jail, that’s for sure. And where would that leave her? I mean, she might be turning eighteen in a couple of weeks, but she’s got no one else.”

  Malakai nodded and looked down at his half-eaten burger. He picked up a fry and dipped it in ketchup.

  “Keep an eye on her, will you, and call me the minute something looks off,” he said, glancing at his friend.

  “Yeah, we’ll all be watching.”

  While it reassured Malakai a little, he was still too worried to finish his dinner, and he pushed his plate to David. As hard as he was training, he should have been hungry, but he wasn’t.

  It was shortly before nine when he got home. It was empty, as usual, but it was to be expected. After all, he had seen his father more often in the last two months than during the second half of the previous year.

  Malakai walked to his bedroom and closed the door. He sat on his bed and retrieved his phone. No messages from anyone. He looked at it a good two minutes before dialing Lily.

  “Hello?” she answered.

  She sounded so uncertain, so sad, so…

  “Hey,” he said.

  How lame could he be? Hey? That’s all he had?

  At the other end of the line, Lily just sighed. Malakai wished he had her in front of him, to hold her, to tell her everything would be all right.

  “You home?” he asked, lying down on his bed.

  “Yeah,” she answered.

  Then he waited and waited, but she wouldn’t say anything else.

  “Baby, listen,” he said, closing his eyes. “I…I don’t pretend I understand, because I don’t, but I love you, okay? I’m sorry I got angry.”

  “Okay,” Lily said with a small voice.

  He heard her sniffle over the phone.

  “Will you stay on the phone with me?” she asked.

  “For as long as you
want,” he answered.

  “Okay.”

  They remained silent until it was time to go to bed.

  Chapter Fifty-Nine

  LILY

  It was now the Monday before Thanksgiving and Lily had been dating Malakai for one month, three weeks, six days and eleven hours. Thinking of him still made her heart beat quicker. They had weathered the storm three weeks prior, and things had gone back to normal, or at least as normal as they could be.

  For her birthday, four days before, Malakai had given her a thin gold necklace with a football helmet and the number fourteen engraved on it. It was simple, a lot less elaborate than all the jewelry Beatrice had ever given her to make her look presentable, and it was perfect.

  The previous Saturday, he had also cooked for her. It was the first time she had been at his place, and she had been surprised at how empty it looked. The living room contained a couch, an easy chair, and a television mounted on the wall. The dining room contained a wooden table with four chairs, and the kitchen was spotless with nothing indicating someone actually lived there.

  As Lily had looked around, the story of Malakai cleaning the apartment with a toothbrush came back to her mind.

  His room had also been minimalist with a bed crisply made, a table with a neat pile of books, and a nightstand. At least Malakai had a picture of himself and his mother on the latter.

  Halfway through dinner, Malakai’s dad had arrived, and Lily had a chance to meet him. She found him to be a really nice man and thought Malakai was lucky to have him, even if he wasn’t home often.

  Lily was still thinking about her birthday dinner when she made her way to the kitchen that Monday morning. The maid was off, and Lily proceeded to brew coffee and warm up a kettle of water for some oatmeal. She was waiting for the water to boil when Beatrice walked into the kitchen.

  Now that she was back home, Lily was always careful not to find herself in the same room as the woman, but leaving the kitchen now would only show weakness, so Lily braced herself and stayed, quickly taking inventory of her escape routes.

  Humming to herself, Beatrice went to the freshly brewed coffeepot. She helped herself to the hot liquid, then holding her cup, she leaned a hip against the counter and looked at Lily.

  “You’re eighteen now,” she said with her unnaturally pleasant voice.

  “Yes, I am,” Lily said, her eyes fixed on the kettle.

  She knew she wouldn’t like what was to come next. Beatrice felt way too satisfied about something.

  “Well, I think it’s time for you to find your own way in life. It’s time for you to, you know, move out.”

  Lily turned toward Beatrice and frowned. “Do you really, Beatrice?”

  “Of course,” she said with a sweet smile, bringing her cup closer to her lips. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

  She took a sip, and Lily couldn’t help it; she wished the woman would burn herself.

  “Seeing as I own the house and all, I’m not going anywhere. Besides, the trust says you’re the one who should be moving out now,” she said, as sweetly as Beatrice.

  “Well, we both know that issue hasn’t been resolved, and if I were you, I would get ready to lose. Besides, we both know you want to move out. You wouldn’t stay if you knew what’s best for you.”

  “Are you threatening me, Mother? Again?” Lily asked, still smiling.

  Beatrice only shrugged and left the kitchen. As she walked away, Lily felt like a cold current of air had flown into the room. Beatrice was up to something again, and like last time, it wouldn’t be good.

  After a hasty breakfast, which Lily didn’t taste, she drove to school with Sandra and, once there, she grabbed her phone from her bag.

  “What’s wrong?” Sandra asked, her hand on the door handle.

  “I have to make a phone call,” she answered, smiling at her friend to hide her own worry. “I’ll be in before school starts.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Yes, I’m fine.”

  “Lily, don’t lie to me. I know that smile and it’s not your I’m-telling-the-truth smile. It’s your I’m-trying-to-pretend-everything-is-all-right-but-I-don’t-feel-like-smiling-at-all smile.”

  Lily’s shoulders sagged. Sandra knew her too well.

  “Beatrice told me to leave the house or else.”

  “Else what? Hasn’t she done enough already?”

  “I don’t know. She felt strangely satisfied. She’s preparing something, Sandra, I know it.”

  “Well, it’s your mother we’re talking about. What do you expect?”

  “No, I mean I think it’s something really evil this time.”

  “Evil? As if what she did already wasn’t bad enough? Lily, I wish you would move to your uncle’s.”

  Unfortunately, her uncle throwing himself in front of a train for her made it hardly a solution at this time. He had his own problems to contend with.

  “I think you shouldn’t worry about it right now,” she continued. “We have so much on our plate already with the exams coming up and Thanksgiving. I think worrying about it won’t prevent it from happening. But calling Charlie is a good idea, mind you.”

  Lily nodded and they remained silent for a few more moments.

  “Lily, you’re not alone, you know. We’re here for you.”

  Lily nodded again, hoping for a day when she would finally have some peace.

  Chapter Sixty

  MALAKAI

  That Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend, Malakai looked at the scoreboard of the regional game for the twentieth time during the fourth quarter.

  One minute thirty-one seconds left to play. Points: twenty for the Warriors, twenty-four for the other team.

  It was the farthest the team had ever gone in the playoffs, and they had to win.

  The ball was in their camp, and they had sixty yards to go to score a touchdown. The game wasn’t lost. The game could still be won.

  Malakai was feeling the pressure on his shoulders and in his mind. The stress of the game was taking its toll, but he had to keep on giving his all for a little while longer. After that, it would be over.

  He couldn’t hear the crowd anymore. His eyes were set on player forty-two in front of him, the one who was trying so hard to make them lose. Malakai didn’t like that guy one bit. For the entire game, Forty-Two had blocked him, and Malakai was beginning to resent him, even though he didn’t know him.

  The crawl toward the goal line began, a few slow feet at a time, and now they had to put it all in.

  With twenty seconds to play, at the twenty-five-yard line, they had to try the all-or-nothing strategy; otherwise, they would lose. It was a hard one, but they could pull it off if done right. They had practiced it before, over and over again—but with Tristan, not this alternate quarterback. The sophomore had been injured in the last quarter and had to be replaced.

  Malakai was exhausted. He wanted to lie on the ground, roll up in a ball, and sleep for a week. “Come on! Come on!” he cheered, clapping his hands as much for himself as for his teammates.

  Then the ball was in play.

  Malakai ran down the field, ran past the goal line, and here came the ball. But it wasn’t supposed to be thrown at him. Since Malakai had scored all his team’s touchdowns, the play was for him to act as a decoy and get the attention of the defense while the quarterback passed the ball to Luis on the other side of the field.

  The quarterback hadn’t followed the plan.

  Malakai had no choice; he set himself to catch it. It was coming toward him. He was right where he should be. He could catch it. They would win.

  Then, suddenly, the impact.

  Forty-Two, who had been pursuing him for the entire game, knocked him away from the ball’s path. Malakai fell to the ground, another player landing on his left arm. In the next instant, the whistle went off, and Malakai looked up. One of the guys who had been chasing him had caught the ball, the ball the quarterback had decided to throw at him instead of following the
plan.

  “No!” Malakai screamed. “No!”

  Malakai remained on the ground, numb.

  It was a foul on the defensive side, he knew it, and it would bring them to the ten-yard line. Even knowing it was a foul, with eleven seconds to play and still a chance to make it, Malakai couldn’t help but feel like a failure. It was his fault he didn’t catch the ball. He should have tried harder.

  He had let his teammates down.

  They had been so close.

  “Malakai, you okay?”

  David. It was David.

  “Malakai?”

  In the next moment, some other people were around him. He didn’t want to see any of them. He wanted to be left alone.

  “Thomas, you injured?” another player asked.

  Malakai realized he was but the pain in his heart had dulled the pain in his left arm.

  “Malakai, your arm,” someone else said.

  Malakai couldn’t say who. The pain in his arm was now blinding him.

  “I’m all right!” he yelled so they would all stop talking. “I’ve got to go back to the line.”

  “No, you’re not,” the defensive line coach said, helping him to his feet.

  They walked to the sideline where the other players were waiting.

  “Malakai, your arm’s not all right,” David said.

  Malakai hadn’t even realized the coach had been replaced by David.

  “I don’t care!” Malakai said, removing his helmet.

  Only his upbringing prevented him from throwing it away in frustration.

  He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He wanted to find himself a punching bag and hit it until he collapsed in exhaustion. He hadn’t caught the ball, the ball that was their chance at winning.

  He walked away from David and went to sit on the bench.

  “Dude, it wasn’t your fault,” Tristan said, sitting next to him. “You did everything right. You followed the plan. You’re not the one who went off script.”

  Tristan just wanted to make him feel better, Malakai knew, but he didn’t have it in him to cheer up. Tristan was holding his arm against his body, a pack of ice on his shoulder.