by L. B. Reyes
“Why not?” Like tiny paper cuts scattered throughout my body, the reminder of the truth sliced through me. I wasn’t ready to talk about this.
“Because you’ve always been my little girl,” she stated simply. “I didn’t need blood for us to bond, didn’t need to tell the world that I’d taken you in. I just needed you. Perhaps your mother didn’t know how to love you, how to cherish you, but I always knew, darling. I never had a doubt in my mind or my heart that you were my little angel.” Her gaze was full of love when she said the following words: “I am so incredibly proud of you, Evelyn. So proud of who you are.”
“You are?”
“Oh, yes.” She nodded, a tear running down her cheek. “I’m proud of the strong woman you’ve become. I know I did something right while I was on earth.”
“I’ve needed to hear that so many times.”
“I know, but I am saying it now, and I want you to memorize it, Evelyn. You are my family; you are my granddaughter. By now, I know that you are aware that blood doesn’t make people family. It’s the connection they forge.” I nodded.
It was true. I had a large family to whom I wasn’t related by blood. I hugged Nana again, suppressing the slight ache that I felt, and settling instead with happiness. She loved me, and I loved her. She was my family.
“You can’t stay,” she whispered, still holding me tightly. “I can’t let you stay, Evie.”
“I know,” I whispered.
“Nathan, that boy…he’ll be lost without you. And you can’t leave Carter either…Hannah, she needs you more than ever now. If you leave them, Evelyn, they will never recover.” Cupping my face in her hands and with a tear rolling down her face, Nana smiled. “It’s your choice, darling.”
I swallowed, and though it hurt to admit, I knew what I had to do. “I need to go, Nana,” I said, looking up at her. She nodded, her expression full of pride.
“You are very wise, Evelyn.”
She took a deep breath and smiled a mother’s comforting smile before she turned to Lily and called her over. The little girl ran towards us, her eyes bright and innocent. Nana leaned down, whispering something in her ear that made her face morph into that of pure excitement. She jumped into my arms, hugging me tightly.
I laughed, hugging her just as tight, the contagious joy settling deep in my heart. “What was that for?”
She pulled away, kissing my cheek. “I’ll see you soon, Mommy.”
I tucked a curl behind her ear, smiling. “I’ll see you soon, okay, baby? Be good.”
“I’m always good.” She grinned, glancing up at Nana. “Nana always takes care of me.”
I believed her. She ran off again, and I stood face to face with Nana for the last time, except this time I knew. I knew what I didn’t the first time she left my life, and I did what I couldn’t do before and memorized her, memorized every second of our interaction, her loving gaze. She did the same silently, until it was time.
“Everyone has so much to offer in this life, Evelyn, and that includes you. Don’t let anyone dim your light, and don’t let the anything define you. Stand strong, and love without reserves. That’s what makes you who you are.” Her eyes glistened with tears, and this time it was I who caught one with my thumb.
“I love you, Nana…and I am who I am thanks to you,” I murmured, hoping she knew how grateful I was to her, for her.
With a small smile, she placed her hands on my shoulders. I etched the sound of her voice forever in my mind, knowing that it would be the memory I’d turn to if I ever needed it. “I love you, my sweet girl. Now go.”
Epilogue
Evelyn
3 years later…
One day out of curiosity, I googled what the definition of happiness was. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, “Happiness is a state of well-being and contentment.”
To me, that definition was too simple.
A few words couldn’t define happiness. In fact, I didn’t think anyone could define it at all. I’d met people in my life who defined happiness as economic prosperity, met others that had nothing but were fulfilled by a cup of coffee every morning.
But to me, happiness was being happy with what I had even when going through tough times.
I could argue and say I had a hard life, lived through difficult situations. However, I’d never thought that was fair. Others had a more difficult time than me.
Despite the hard times, though, I could safely say that I was truly happy.
“How’s the birthday girl doing?”
I felt his arm wrap around my waist and his lips on my temple. Nathan sat down on a chair and pulled me onto his lap, obviously not giving a damn that everyone watched. It was my birthday, and even though I’d insisted I didn’t want a party or anything along those lines, Nathan still surprised me by throwing a get-together at the park with our loved ones.
And by loved ones, I meant everyone.
Tessa and Poison, the biker gang, his parents, David and Jenna, Tom and his daughter, and of course, Carter and my dear Lily.
Derek smiled at me from a distance before chasing little Lily around. My heart stuttered when I remembered the conversation we’d had earlier that day. We’d come a long way, both of us getting to know each other, trying to make up for the years we’d spent apart.
The voice I loved the most interrupted my thoughts. “Have I told you how beautiful you look today?” Nathan asked, brushing back my hair. It wasn’t too long, just down to my shoulders, but he loved the new haircut.
“You have, actually.” I smiled, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. He grinned, his hands on my waist, those loving gray eyes staring back at me with adoration. It hadn’t changed; in fact, it seemed as if with every day that passed, we were more and more in love.
We were too strong to break.
“I have something else for you,” he murmured. “I know you’re going to love it, but you may be a bit mad at me for not telling you, so just keep in mind that it was meant to be a surprise. That’s why I didn’t say anything.”
I furrowed my eyebrows. “What did you do, Nathan?”
He glanced behind me and took a deep breath, cupping my face in his hands so that I wouldn’t turn around. “You ready, Lily?”
Lily ran up to us, her big, bright gray eyes sparkling with happiness. “I’m ready, Daddy.”
“You were in on this?” I gasped, pinching my three year old’s cheeks. She grinned, holding up a blindfold and waving it in front of me.
“I had to help, Daddy.” She shrugged. “It’s a daughter’s work.”
Nathan placed a kiss on my cheek while calling everyone over, all of them smiling, except for Derek, who seemed just as confused as I was. “Come on, Evie. Let me put this on you.”
“I’ll trip, Nate.” I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself, and I didn’t want to fall for a specific reason that he didn’t know about yet…
“I’ll hold you.” He smiled, and I stood up, obliging his request.
Everyone in the park was oddly quiet, so much that I wondered if anyone was still there at all. He tied the blindfold, securing it well so I couldn’t see anything, and when he was sure I couldn’t, he placed his hands on my shoulders and started guiding me. I felt Lily’s little hand in mine as we walked, my heart racing.
“Stop here.” I felt his lips near my ear, the closeness making my body tingle. “You deserve everything,” he whispered, only for me to hear. “But I know this is the one thing you’ve wanted for the past few years, Evie. Happy birthday, my love.”
He removed the blindfold slowly, and I blinked a couple of times before my focus fell on the person standing in front of me.
“Hey, sister.” Hannah smiled at me.
Damn it.
Don’t cry.
I must have stood there in shock for several minutes, I didn’t really know. All I knew was that somehow, Hannah was there, on my birthday, smiling and looking beautiful as ever.
“I was expecting more of a hug o
r something,” she teased, extending her arms.
My feet finally moved, and I nearly knocked her over with the strength of my embrace. She laughed, hugging me just as tight. “Happy birthday, Evie,” she whispered, pulling away briefly, placing her hands on my face. She furrowed her eyebrows, concerned. “Why are you crying?”
I wiped away my tears. Finally, after years in jail, she was free and with us. I’d known eventually she was going to get out but had no idea it would be so soon.
“I just can’t believe you’re here,” I said, hugging her again. “I’m so happy you’re here.”
“Yeah,” she whispered. “Thank Nathan. We never agreed on much before, but we both knew this would be the perfect surprise for your birthday, make up for the lost time.”
I squeezed her hand before jumping back into Nathan’s arms and kissing him softly. “Thank you, thank you…thank you so much.”
“Anything for you,” he whispered, kissing me back. “Now go talk to your sister while I talk to Derek.” Nathan gestured toward Derek, who stood to the side awkwardly, hands shoved in his pockets and face drained of all color, as if he’d seen a ghost.
Hannah stared at him for a few seconds before averting his gaze, obviously wanting to say a lot.
“She’s my aunt?” Lily asked me, her eyes hopeful. She’d talked on the phone with Hannah and seen pictures, but my little girl was incredibly shy at times.
“Yes, she is,” I replied, walking her over to Hannah, who was now with Carter. Thankfully, they’d made amends, though Carter was never truly angry with her. He’d always cared for her. “Let’s go say hi to her.”
They hit it off immediately.
Hannah was nervous at first, especially since she never had interacted much with children, but then Lily started talking about her princess dresses and how her hair was so pretty.
I watched them for a moment, admiring my life.
We’d overcome many, many obstacles. We had grown and matured…our lives were much different now than they were a few years back. Despite the pain and hurt, I wouldn’t change a single thing.
***
Nathan laced his fingers with mine as we drove back home, with Lily fast asleep in the backseat. I looked back at her; she was so beautiful and peaceful.
“Did you have a good time?”
I nodded. “It was perfect.”
He kissed the back of my hand. “As are you.”
We arrived back home after a few more minutes, and Nathan carried our Lily into her princess-themed bedroom. She stirred sleepily, mumbling something under her breath. I giggled, watching him interact with her so lovingly.
He placed a kiss on her forehead and told her he loved her before walking my way and lifting me up, my legs wrapping around his waist as he closed the door behind us.
He pushed me up against the wall, a smirk playing on his lips when he heard my startled gasp.
“It’s time to keep celebrating,” he whispered, his lips falling on mine. Moaning softly, I tangled my fingers in his hair, holding him as close to me as I could. He could have bought me the most expensive diamonds or taken me on a trip throughout the world, yet at the end of the day, the one thing I would need to survive were his lips, his love, and my daughter’s smile.
His tongue slid into my mouth, teasing me gently, his kiss taking me to a world I could only dream of. “I love you,” he whispered against my lips. “I’m so happy you’re here with me another year.”
He didn’t let me reply, his mouth falling on the crook of my neck, until I remembered that I had a gift for him.
“Wait,” I breathed, feeling his warm mouth on my skin. “Hang on.”
“Why?” he murmured, grinding himself against me. As good as it felt, I held back another moan.
“Let’s go to your studio,” I panted, hoping I could keep myself in check long enough to do what I had to do.
Nathan raised an eyebrow. “What did you draw now? A five-legged lion? Five-legged turtle? Five-legged—”
I shoved him with my hand, and he chuckled. My drawing of whatever five-legged creature was on display in his studio as one of the masterpieces. He was fucking proud of it or simply enjoyed my torture. Either way, he wouldn’t let me take it down, and the one time I had, he chased me down until I gave it back.
“C’mon, I have something to show you.”
“Fine,” he agreed. “But when we’re done. We’re coming back upstairs and—”
“And you’ll give me my gift,” I interrupted. “I’ll make sure of it.”
He carried me downstairs, careful to not fall. It had been a few months since we bought the house, and he had a room downstairs as a studio. He opened the door to it, the smell of paint invading my senses.
I hope it’s dried by now.
“So what’s the surprise?” Nathan asked, leaning back on his desk, arms crossing over his chest.
I went to the back of the studio, looking at my masterpiece. I picked up the drawings and the frame behind them, holding them tight against my chest. The excitement I felt intensified by the second, and I took a deep breath, trying to steady my heart. The drawings looked like a child drew them, but I knew Nathan would love them.
“I know I’m not much of an artist, but I wanted to give you a little surprise.”
He smiled warmly. “It’s your birthday, baby. You didn’t need to do anything for me.”
“I know, but I wanted to. You deserve it.”
I handed him the first drawing, and he snickered, shaking his head as he chuckled quietly. “Stick figures, Evie?”
I shrugged, laughing also at the drawing. It was a stick figure couple, painted a simply as I could. The only reason he could tell it was us was because I made sure that the curly hair on the girl was noticeable and the guy had gray eyes…and I made sure to write our names.
“This is great.” He grinned; I could tell he meant it.
Giddy, I handed him the next painting. His gaze filled with love when he saw the drawing, this time there was a house behind us, symbolizing our new home and our little Lily standing with us. “Beautiful.”
I knew then that this was the perfect way to tell him.
“It’s like a timeline of our relationship, isn’t it?” he asked, his loving eyes meeting mine. He pressed a kiss at the tip of my nose. “It’s lovely, Evie. Thank you.”
“I’m not done yet,” I said, holding up the next drawing.
He furrowed his eyebrows when he saw the same stick figures drawn but this time with a little four-legged friend next to it.
“Is this…is that a dog? Why is there a dog next to us? We don’t have a dog.”
I ran a finger down his chest, grinning. “Remember last week, when I was kind of…moody?”
“Yeah, PMSing?”
Right. “Well, after work, I was still feeling quite sad, so I went to the shelter before I picked up Lily from your parents and, well, I found a cute little doggy that you would absolutely love!” I squealed.
Nathan’s eyes widened. “You got a dog? Without telling me?”
“No.” I grinned. “But I’m very tempted to do so.”
He reached up, pinching my cheek softly. “You are insane.”
“You ready for the next one?” I asked.
He nodded, and I waited patiently for his reaction, his eyes roaming the paper carefully until they fell on the little figure standing between Lily and the pup.
“That looks like a small child.” His forehead creased in confusion as he tried to understand what it meant.
Finally, I handed him the picture frame.
I hadn’t thought much about my missed period the first month, and I blamed it on the stress of my job as a counselor in a juvenile detention center. But then the last week, I was nauseous and moody, what Nathan believed to be another of my PMS episodes except it wasn’t.
The three pregnancy tests I took denied it.
“Are you serious?” Nathan asked, his voice showing every emotion he felt.
&nb
sp; “Yes, you’re going to be a dad again.”
He stared at my wonderful drawing again and then at the ultrasound in the frame a few more seconds before setting them on the desk and cupping my face in his hands, pressing his lips to mine in a passionate kiss. I giggled, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“You make me the happiest man,” Nathan whispered, kissing my forehead.
I shook my head, caressing his cheek. “Thank you. You’ve given me the best gift ever.”
“What is it?” he asked.
So many things.
Love, happiness, a home…
“A family.”
My family.
THE END
Prologue
Hannah
Years ago…
He pushed me away, looking at me like I was a menace.
“Is it really that important to you?” Derek spat, his lip curled with anger, his words seething with disgust.
I disgusted him.
There was no one else to blame; I had made the choice to get involved with someone else other than my husband. What was worse was knowing I would have never been able to commit to Derek, not without losing everything I had…and it was too much. I had worked too hard to get to where I was and to gain my mother’s trust just to leave it all behind.
I was too selfish.
But I didn’t want him to leave.
“Derek, please,” I sobbed, my hands holding onto his forearms with as much strength as I could muster. “Please understand—”
“Understand what?” The green eyes that had looked at me with adoration just a few minutes ago were now full of disbelief and pain. “That you care too much about your money? That fake shit you call a marriage?” He took hold of my arms, pulling me close to him, his gaze roaming my face with distress. “Why? Why is what we have not enough for you, Hannah?”
My heart broke because I knew his was breaking too. I hurt him more than anyone had before, especially with all the things he’d been through. But I couldn’t let go of him or the life I had.
“What the hell do you want me to do?” he asked desperately. Derek’s hands cupped my face and my heart beat faster with the contact. Those hands knew my body more than I knew myself. Those hands held my heart, protected it, even though I kept shattering his. “Tell me what to do. Tell me what’s missing from us for you to give up this life.”