by Gigi Marlowe
“So she wasn’t having an affair?” Henry questioned.
“That’s what she says, at least.” Patrick slouched on the bench. “But how am I supposed to feel about that, Henry?” He looked pleadingly into his friend's eyes. He wasn't sure if Henry had an answer for him, but Patrick badly needed some guidance.
“I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to feel about what happened, Patrick,” Henry said slowly. “I think you’re just supposed to feel.”
“That’s the problem, then, I don't.” Patrick shut his eyes in frustration. “My mind keeps telling me that her apology shouldn’t matter. That I should be angry with her.” Patrick clenched his fist tightly. He took a deep breath before half-heartedly admitting, “What she did was just like Jasmine. But I can’t find the strength to be angry with her.” Patrick opened his eyes and looked up at the sky. He watched the clouds floating peacefully above him and thought of AJ. His heart thundered at the memory of her.
Then he thought of Jasmine and, where before he felt immense anger, all he could feel now was pity. Pity for a woman who had known so little of love that she thought it was a tool she could use to manipulate others. Patrick forced himself to remember the night he had found Jasmine in the arms of another man. The memory still stirred up feelings of resentment inside of him, though it dawned on him that the emotions were centered around the situation and not Jasmine. Somewhere along the way, he had forgiven her. He wasn't sure when, but he had a sneaking suspicion that it had to do with AJ. He mused that maybe her uncanny ability to see others for who they really were and accept them for it had taught him to do the same. Besides, maybe, just maybe, Jasmine, by showing him what he didn’t want in a woman, she helped to reveal what he truly desired.
Henry tapped Patrick lightly on the arm. “What do you feel?” he coaxed.
After a moment’s pause, Patrick finally whispered, “Numb.”
“Have you stopped to consider that you can’t decide how you want to feel because your heart knows something your mind won’t admit.”
“What would that be?”
“AJ isn’t Jasmine,” Henry said. The words felt like they were jolts of electricity running throughout Patrick’s body. “Your heart knows it, but your mind is too busy putting up a wall to listen to it,” continued Henry.
“Are you trying to say I’m defensive?” Patrick dared. He didn't like where this conversation was going. Patrick looked at Henry from the corner of his eye and wondered if his friend had brought him here as a setup. He wondered if maybe AJ had arranged for Henry to meet Patrick at the park and plead her case to him. Patrick quickly dismissed the idea, however. Henry had been one of his closest friends. The fact that he questioned Henry’s motive, even for a second, made him stop and really consider if he really was overly defensive. “I’m not.” Patrick finally denied. “I’m smart. I'm not the same naïve man who thought that everyone had at least a little bit of good in them.” Patrick paused. He wasn't so sure if he meant that anymore. His voice and his conviction wavered as he said, “Some people just don’t.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Yes,” Patrick muttered, “yes I do.” Patrick made himself remember, not just Jasmine, but all of the people who he had encountered that had done wrong to an innocent person. He thought about the hackers, the cybercriminals he worked tirelessly to try and stop. He thought about the raiders and bandits that plagued the villagers that needed the Clean Water Project the most. He pulled all of these thoughts to the very forefront of his mind and fortified his resolution. “Most people are only out to get what benefits them. I see it all the time, Henry. People who are willing to ruin the lives of other people just to make a couple bucks. Women,” he spat bitterly as he mustered up the energy he needed to foster his dying anger, “who condone using men for their own personal gain.”
“AJ isn't like that.” Henry stood up quickly and spun to face Patrick. “Look, in the weeks after you walked in on Jasmine, how many times did she reach out to you?” Henry pointed an accusatory finger at Patrick. “She didn't. You had to reach out to her, and when you did, she finally told you the truth. She told you that she only wanted your money.”
“I don’t see your point, Henry.”
“My point is how many times has AJ reached out to you?” Henry entreated. “How many times has she told you exactly what happened?” Henry ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “The guy kissed AJ. She didn’t kiss him. And, from what you’ve said, it sounds like AJ was as blindsided by that kiss as you were. You have to drop your walls, Patrick. You were the happiest I had ever seen you when you were with AJ.”
“I’m my happiest when I’m alone,” he deflected.
“No, you're not. You have got to stop telling yourself that. You keep trying to make yourself into this person who has no regard for others, who doesn’t need a single companion in his life. But it’s not you. AJ knew that. She saw you, knew you, and she loved every broken piece of you.” Henry scowled at Patrick angrily. He gathered his leash and whistled for Su Su. “You need to stop trying to use this as a way to push AJ out of your life.”
“But,” Patrick clenched his fist, “what if I’m wrong about her, Henry? I mean, what if I’m really wrong? A part of me really knows that AJ would never kiss that guy, but a bigger part of me says there’s no reason for her not to kiss someone else. Could she really be content with just me? Am I enough for her?” Patrick was surprised to hear himself voice his deepest doubts. He had been wrestling with this feeling for a while now. He knew that AJ valued being an independent, ambition-driven woman, and he couldn’t help but wonder if she was really willing to settle down with him.
“No one’s perfect, Patrick. But I think you’ll find out that if you don’t take a risk, in spite of your fear, you’ll be left with more regrets than you can count.”
Patrick watched Henry leave with a heavy heart. A big part of him wanted to believe that Henry was right. Now that he had admitted that his biggest obstacle for forgiving AJ was himself, he wanted to have the strength to act out despite his fear of being hurt again. Patrick knew that if he decided to stop harboring his feeling of resentment towards her for something that was completely out of her control, he would be left with a desire to be with her. As much as he wanted her, he also didn’t want to be hurt. Gathering up his own leash, Patrick called Bear to him.
“What do you think? Have I screwed up this time?” he asked Bear. Bear only panted and wagged her tail at him. Patrick wondered whether if Bear could talk if she would say the same thing that Henry said. Patrick ambled to his car. He reflected on the kind of man that he was. He thought about the fact that he always preferred to stay home. He had told himself that it was because he was too drained from work to leave, but when he was with AJ, he had discovered that going out with her had given him renewed energy, no matter how negative his day had been. She had been like a breath of fresh air to his shut-in spirit.
Patrick let his mind wander as he drove through the streets of San Francisco. He had no destination in mind, but he let his heart guide wherever he wanted to go. He just wanted to drive and think. It came as a complete surprise to him when he found himself pulling into the driveway of his new home. Was this what he had wanted, to go home?
His breath caught in his throat as he took in the beauty of AJ's design. The house looked like it was a private retreat nestled just outside the heart of San Francisco. In a trance, he walked up the path leading to his front door. Pinned there, he found a note that just said “Welcome Home!” Patrick wished for a moment that he had called AJ so he could enter in when he heard a faint click of the front door lock. Skeptical, Patrick put his hand on the knob and turned it. The door eased open without hesitation, and he heard the soft chime of a security system announce that the door had been opened.
A smile instantly lit Patrick's face as he saw the August Smart Lock Pro attached to his front door. This was something Patrick had not even thought of asking AJ to include in her design. H
e had been watching the development of this product for some time now. He loved the idea that he could have the freedom of unlocking his door from the Bluetooth setting of his phone, just like his smart keys to his car.
He wondered if AJ had remembered their conversation on the ferry about how much he loved integrating technology into his everyday life when she had added that touch. Patrick had his answer quickly as he walked past a minimalistic entryway and into his open floor plan downstairs. His automatic lights faded on as he scanned the expanse of the living space. AJ had thought of everything to customize Patrick's house, but most amazing to him, he had suggested none of this. What he saw was nothing like the fortress-like house he had envisioned. Instead, it was a warm and open space that used neutral colors to brighten the space. He was awed by how much he loved the house. It felt like his home.
Every intricate detail from the color of the hardwood floor to the pictures on the wall were the polar opposite of what he had insisted upon, and he loved all of the changes. He had never imagined that a house could embody so much of who he was and at the same time tell him so much about the person who had designed it. AJ had always done a great job on her previous projects, but Patrick noted that her eye for detail in his house was impeccable. She really had thought of everything that Patrick could ever want or need. Her thoughtfulness dripped from every room. It was in the soft sheets she had picked for his bed, the plush blanket she had carefully draped on his oversized couch, and even in the large saltwater aquarium she had built into his family room and stocked with his favorite fish.
Patrick realized that Henry had been right, AJ did know him. She saw right through the barriers he had put up to try and keep her out, and she unmistakably loved who she found hiding behind his walls. Patrick knew that he had to get her back. He wouldn’t let his fear of being hurt again stop him from letting AJ into his life forever, but he couldn’t help but worry that it might be too late.
Chapter 10
AJ clicked her pen restlessly. “Do you think he'll call?” she asked Lizzie. Lizzie sat idly on the edge of AJ's desk, her black pumps swaying as she kicked her foot in time to the ticking of the clock.
“It’s been a month, AJ,” she commented. AJ tried to hide the disappointment that lingered on her face. She knew that Lizzie was right, it had been an entire month since she had finished “Project Homebound”. She had simply hoped that maybe Patrick would notice all of the details she had put into the house for him. With a sigh, she reminded herself that she knew this could have been a possibility when she had decided to pour her heart and soul into his house. She knew that just because she had gone out of her way to show him how she felt, he by no means would necessarily reciprocate the feelings.
“I guess his email is all that I'll ever get, huh?” AJ remembered the email that she had gotten from Patrick one week ago. The email had said how much Patrick had loved the house and how excited he was to do the final walk through together. He had sung her praises in the email and, in AJ’s eyes, it had seemed pretty clear that he was willing to at least talk to her about what had happened with Benjamin. She had waited eagerly for him to call her, but he never did. “At least I’ll get to see him one last time,” AJ said. She looked down at her desktop calendar and saw that today was their final walk through.
“It’s ironic that I had originally planned his final walkthrough as my Valentine’s Day gift to him. Now,” AJ said miserably, “it feels like a gift to myself.”
“Don’t think of it that way,” Lizzie pleaded.
“It’s true. It’s the last time I’ll ever see him,” AJ shrugged, “there won’t be another reason for us to stay in contact.” AJ looked up at the office ceiling and sighed. She was going to miss him so much. She grabbed the Project Homebound binder from her desk drawer and promised to call Lizzie once the walkthrough was over. As she drove, AJ thought about what she would say to Patrick. She knew that he had already told her that he wasn’t interested in hearing her explanation, but, AJ had always been stubborn. She decided that since this was her last chance to see Patrick, she had to be upfront and honest with him.
She was surprised to see that Patrick was already waiting for her at the house. He looked as handsome as ever in dark jeans and a white button-up shirt. Her heart fluttered as he flashed her a bright smile. AJ searched Patrick’s eyes to try and guess how he was feeling. In the months that they had been together, she had become particularly adept at reading his mood from his eyes. Today, however, all she could detect from them was nervousness. She suspected that his anxiety had everything to do with her.
AJ held out her hand as she approached him, hoping that he would at least shake her hand. Instead, he grasped it firmly in his and pulled her gently into the house. “Patrick,” she stuttered as her mind jumped to find a plausible explanation for his behavior.
“You need to see this,” he said without turning to look at her. He led her deep within the house until they were standing in front of an indoor waterfall that AJ had installed specifically for Patrick. She bit her lip in apprehension. The waterfall was beautifully surrounded in polished river rock and was a stunning divider between Patrick’s new kitchen and his family room. She had gotten the idea when she and Patrick had gone on their whale watching date. She had thought that Patrick would have loved the fountain, but now, she wondered if she had been wrong.
“I know I should have had you sign off on the fountain-” AJ turned away from him to stare at it.
“-No,” he interrupted. He placed his hands lightly on her shoulders. “It’s perfect.” AJ and Patrick soaked up the magnificent splendor of it all. Patrick began to slowly trace circles in AJ’s shoulders. He leaned his head against the back of hers and whispered “I love it” into the curve of her neck. Chills raced up and down AJ’s spine. She turned to look deeply into Patrick’s eyes and the raw emotion that she saw there made breath catch in her throat.
“I know what you’re going to say, Patrick,” AJ blurted out before she lost the courage. “I know you’re going to say ‘thank you’ and then sign the contract, happy to be rid of me. But,” AJ could barely control the words as they tripped out of her mouth, “I don’t want that. I think about you every moment of every day. You’re the first person I want to talk to in the morning and the last person I want to talk to at night. I’m in love with you.” AJ paused and clenched her fists together. “I’m in love with you so bad that it hurts,” she sniffled. A tear rolled down her cheek as she prayed that Patrick would say he loved her too. Instead, only silence and the weight of her words hung in the air between them. Patrick lightly brushed the tear off of her cheek. Embarrassed by her outburst, she studied the grooves in the hardwood. He hadn’t said he loved her back. AJ felt sure that he would, yet, he hadn’t.
Patrick pulled AJ into a firm embrace. “You’ve created the perfect house...it is awesomely breathtaking. But you realize you’ve made a big mistake, don’t you? Something is missing.” AJ panicked. This had to be a moment from her worst nightmares. She had proclaimed her love for Patrick only to hear about a flaw in her design. AJ’s eyes widen with trepidation. “What could possibly be missing...from the depths of my heart and soul I’ve put everything I’ve got into creating this for you Patrick, I don’t understand” she quivered.
Patrick saw the bewilderment in her eyes then held AJ tighter. “The moment I stepped into this house, I saw the thought and love you put into every detail, every feature. I then understood that love was for me, AJ. But, you do realize that it’s so perfect now, I will never want to leave it. And what’s missing is YOU.” Patrick bent down on one knee and pulled out a ring box from Tiffany’s out of his pocket. “Alexandra Jane Taylor, will you put your final touch on this house by making it a home? Will you be my Valentine for life and marry me?”
AJ exhaled and the concern on her face turned to joy, “yes, you rascal, I will marry you.” Patrick slipped the ring over her finger and she threw her arms around his neck. In that moment, AJ could think of no place she
would rather be than in the arms of her very own homebound love.
Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading “Her Homebound Billionaire: A Love Conquers Fear Clean Romance.”
(Book 3: Billionaire Tech Tycoons & Titans).
I hope you enjoyed the journey into the lives of AJ, Patrick, their friends and family.
If you liked, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. Reviews are especially important to newer authors, like me. I would be ever so grateful. Click Here to Review
Keep Reading Happily Ever Afters!
From my heart to yours,
Gigi Marlowe
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Also By Gigi Marlowe
The Series: Billionaire Tech Tycoons & Titans
(The Visions they Follow, The Causes they Fund, The Love they Find)
“Not Another Billionaire: A Clean Second Chance Romance”
“Her Billionaire Dilemma: A Clean Romance”